posts from the transgender cuddle pile @mjewie - Tumblr Blog

TELL IT HOW IT IS GIRL 👏

And so the emperor said, "so if I wore these fine garments, any fools in the crowd, being unable to see the garments, would be able to see my dick and balls?"

And one of the two salesmen said "Well, surely, you would not--"

And the emperor continued, "and they would tell everyone what my dick and balls look like? They would proclaim it from the rooftops as, being fools, they would lack the better judgement to know such details would be better kept to themselves? And all the peasants and lords would then know every detail of my aging scrotum?"

"But surely, your highness," the other salesman said, "in your wisdom you can see, with your own eyes, that these silks are of such incredible quality, that such minor embarrassment would be minimal compared to how distinguished you would appear to the worthy?"

The emperor thought on this, considered it deeply, and said, "honestly, not really."

stargazers-satellite

my partner said something that kinda rocked my world

jenny-ratmeal

Babe are you OK? You reblogged "even if you get worse".

ducksarebloodthirstylittlebeasts

what's the silliest linguistics paper title you've come across?

Compiled a lil' list of my faves, enjoy !

Martin et al. (2020) - Why one can kill Rasputin twice in Mandarin

Wurmbrand (2017) - Stripping and topless complements

Reiss (2024) - Yes, we have NoBanana? Arguments against Richness of the Base

Meadows (2024) - Size matters: clause structure and locality constraints in Swahili relatives

Kokkonidis (2005) - Why glue a donkey to an f-structure when you can constrain it and bind it instead

Josefsson (2022) - Pancake inflection is agreement in non-specificity

Arregi & Hewett (2025) - Singular they and the syntax of townhouses

Mandelkern (2015) - I believe I can Phi

Bleotu (2012) - Why does IT always rain on me ? On weather verbs

Saba (2008) - Concerning Olga, the Beautiful Little Street Dancer (Adjectives as Higher-Order Polymorphic Functions)

shushmuckle

Illustration from a 1941 advertisement

redpandarascal

for what? advertisement for what?

redpandarascal

I'm sold, now tell me what I've bought!

fluff-e-boy

everyday-cutephoto

carrotssss

if-only-angels-could-prevail

inbabylontheywept

i am banned from eating my herring inside. they make me eat it on the smoking area by the loading dock, under the theory that it already smells bad there. but it was raining today which was preventing my breakfast, so i was feeling sad and hungry and then i realized that there was a large cardboard box in the dumpster from a previous delivery. like a fridge sized box. so i fished it out of the dumpster, then tipped it on its side and had a nice little cardboard cave to watch the rain and eat my fish in. which was a great experience. very soothing. very zen. at least until the security guard from the day before stepped outside to smoke. then i tried hiding from him by crawling deeper in the box, which unfortunately did not work. instead he saw a sort of damp sniveling pale hairless creature eating fish in a box, and delivered the verbal killshot of "good morning, mr. smeagol." which is how my day was ruined before 8 am.

wreegis

there was an incident at work today

redlipstickresurrected

Yutaka Murakami aka むらかみゆたか aka 村上ゆたか aka Murakami Yutaka aka 村上豊 (Japanese, b. 1957, Kyoto, Japan, based Maibara, Shiga, Japan), Paintings: Watercolor

killersandqueens

Would being called big dog fix me? Who knows?

boydykedevo

Mixed reviews

hobgoblinhero

"What's up, big dog; I'm ratsmacker" is going to live rent free in my head for a little while

hobgoblinhero

Boys who up smacking they rat?

cozyrogue

the "rip ___ you would have loved ___" meme is inherently more fun with ancient characters. rip clytemnestra you would have loved morse code. rip theseus you would have loved the airtag. rip callisto you would have loved wearing shorts.