CRK Bad Batch AU x Knights of Guinevere
Bad Batch AU by @sunseed-fandump
Knights of Guinevere by GLITCH on youtube
The bad batch au had me in a chokehold already and then knights of guinevere body slammed me with the pilot, I just had to make SOMETHING
Editing to add that the knights of guinevere part is less of a crossover, more like inspiration, especially by that last scene in the pilot
Characters are probably ooc I'm sorry I tried
The undead were a myth, as far as anyone was aware. Fueled by hunger, emotions tied to their "death" and some sort of dark magic, they would hunt down and devour anyone in their path of destruction. Some of the most obscure texts claimed them to belong to the age of the Beast of Destruction as a result, others claimed them to belong to the faction of Deceit, known for it's magic - powerful enough to raise the dead, for sure.
Azure Wizard Cookie, however, believed the main cause to be some form of dark magic, most likely tied to those wretched Witches. After all, after more than eighteen scuffles with Licorice Cookie, he was more than well acquainted with basic necromancy. An actual zombie instead of a sugar skeleton, though unrealistic, had a chance to exist, as far as he was aware.
Precisely why he was so, so unbelievably ecstatic right now. His blue eyes were sparkling as his accomplice/business partner/whatever happened to fit the narrative at the moment, Wild Strawberry Cookie, pushed aside some bushes to take a closer look at their find.
The Azure Staff, source of Azure Wizard Cookie's power, really wanted to get something "special and incredibly important" from the Witch's Hut. He didn't really want to get anywhere near the Witches, but once it revealed that the mystery item could boost it's power, he was convinced. Wild Strawberry Cookie was hesitant, more inclined to stay home and play her games, but he knew that he didn't really need to ask. Witches were dangerous, and as soon as he stepped out of their headquarters, she followed him closely, making jabs at his strength and height to justify coming along.
And thank the heavens she did, because as they were approaching the Bear Jelly Village to stock up on some star jellies for the journey, she caught a glimpse of something between the trees, laying in the bushes. Curious, they both decided to investigate, weapons ready... Just to discover something that immediately had Azure Wizard Cookie in a chokehold.
A cookie laid in the grass, breathing... Yet his dough was not holding up in the slightest. Covered in icing stitches, with dried jam covering the edges of the many cracks and holes. Crumbs were scattered around his body, with one of his hands straight up disconnected from it. The biggest cracks were on his knee, resulting in his leg barely holding on, and... In his neck. Spread so viciously that it shouldn't be possible for him to breathe. That he should be... Dead.
..An undead. An actual undead!
Wild Strawberry Cookie flinched in slight surprise as a noise of pure giddiness left Azure Wizard Cookie's throat. The Azure Staff seemed to share it's master's enthusiasm, the flame at it's top rising with glee when the young wizard approached the corpse.
"No way..." he mumbled to himself in pure excitement, reaching out for the arm that was still a part of the thing's body. "Strawberry, do you see this..?! This is amazing!"
"...You're acting like a child." Wild Strawberry Cookie blurted out, but walked up to stand next to him. Staring down at the undead, a small shiver went down her spine. Her grip tightened on her giant, spiked lollipop, ready to strike. "And you shouldn't touch... This. What if it's-"
"Right, you have experience with this!" while still happy, Azure Wizard Cookie's voice almost had a strained snap to it. He wasn't just going to let her just... Ruin his joy for this incredible discovery! Did she not realize how huge of a difference this could make?! The staff appeared amused as it's master tilted his head. "Well? What can you tell me about it, zombie-expert?"
Wild Strawberry Cookie looked ready to strike him instead, but after a moment of silent fury, she just smacked him over the head. She ignored his yelp in order to look down at the undead cookie.
"...He doesn't look the same as ones from my timeline." she finally said. The topic was hardly a pleasant one, but it's not like she cared. No, she didn't care about what happened back then at all. "The ones there had jellies for eyes and a different dough tone. They didn't... Sleep or lose consciousness, either. And if call me that again, I'm burning all of your spell books."
"Tch... Sure, sure." he replied, his voice a little muffled by the scarf. He crouched, inspecting the wounds of the undead. He spotted some older cracks, except they were filled with a bunch of now hardened cream - a cheap way of fixing oneself up, though it's usually followed by applying some sour jelly stripes to prevent infections. Then again, Azure Wizard Cookie supposed that an undead wouldn't need to worry about it.
Seeing that he had no intentions of waking up, Wild Strawberry Cookie leaned over the cookie's head. Curious, her head tilted as she gazed at the strange, white shell over the upper part of his face. After another quick look between it and Azure Wizard Cookie, who was now yapping away under the scarf, and she reached out to poke it, as far away from his mouth as she could.
Much to her surprise... It actually shifted, revealing some more of the dough. A mask? She had half the mind to remove it, but after grabbing it by the edge, she decided against it. After all, she could still remember how much she hated it when other cookies would forcefully pull her own hood down... Yeah, she did not feel like being a hypocrite today.
"...So, what do we do with him?" she finally asked, snapping Azure Wizard Cookie out of his over-ecstatic rambling.
"To my lab with him-!" he immediately called out, but paused as she threw a small twig at him.
"Not your first thought." she deduced, proven correct by his disappointed huff. "You wanted to do that weird thing with your staff again. Speaking off, tell it to stop looking at him like he's food." the staff bristled, with the eye in the middle of the azure flames glaring at her. "You want to experiment on him... For what exactly?"
"...To figure out what makes him immortal, obviously. And how to wake him up." Azure Wizard Cookie reached to the undead's leg, picking up a crumbled off part of his foot. "Imagine if I could make us immortal, I mean! We could just storm the Witch's Hut, we wouldn't have to worry about-!"
"You are not turning me into that!" Wild Strawberry Cookie instantly interrupted him again, gripping her weapon again.
"Not into an undead, stupid!" he snapped back, his eye twitching. "Whatever is with him, it's clearly not that good if he's out like this! If I figure out what made him return from the dead, I can extract it's purest form and make us actually immortal!"
"No. Just no." Wild Strawberry Cookie almost wanted to smack him over the head again. "Just... You do realize I've seen how it ends? Every time, in damn near every timeline... It'll just blow into your face."
"I make it so it doesn't!" he tried to argue a bit more, but upon not receiving an answer, he finally sighed. The Azure Staff flickered in annoyance, but he could sense that it wasn't all negative to her suggestion. A sign to find a different idea instead. "Ugh... Fine... But I'm not just leaving him here! There's so much I can do with-"
"Let's take him to the Witch's Hut with us."
"We're heading there anyway." Wild Strawberry Cookie shrugged. "We might find something about what made him undead in there. Plus, if the Witch notices us, we can use him as a distraction."
"That's... Kinda smart, actually." which would've been an insult, had Azure Wizard Cookie's tone not held a twinge of respect in the admission. "How would we get him there, though? I'm not dragging him around, he's literally falling apart." the Azure Staff burned brighter, catching his attention. "...And the staff doesn't want to waste effort on levitation spells for something like this."
"Well, your staff is stupid." she immediately announced, ignoring the duo's offended reaction to turn in the direction of the Bear Jelly Village. "...I think I have an idea."
She leaned down, carefully propping up the undead's head. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a black cloth with a pattern of white fangs - a piece of merch from one of her games she snatched back when she was traveling through timelines. After fiddling with it a bit, she tied it around his neck well enough to keep his head attached to his body for the duration of being picked up like a potato sack.
"Alright, I drop him in the first wheelbarrow I see, we raid this place for jellies, and then we make a run for it." she announced, already speeding towards the colorful buildings in the distance. Azure Wizard Cookie sighed, but started muttering a vile incantation under his breath, causing the staff in his hand to gleefully spark.
Soon enough, confusion overtook the village as the two villainous kids joyfully jumped around, smashing stalls and shoving fists of sweets into their pockets. Property damage, theft, practiced evil laughter, oblivious but mildly amused villagers and Custard Cookie III's faint yells and orders of "stopping this evil madness!" - just your usual weekly occurrence.
Except, this time, witnessed by dead eyes and a held back smile.
Licorice Cookie was incredible at magic. Capable of truly horrendous, but oh, so amazingly great feats. From necromancy, to commanding eldritch beings, his self-learned power was something to be feared. That is, if he actually got to use it correctly and without interruptions.
Being sure of oneself is a key part in casting Dark Magic. It was why Licorice Cookie left the village that would deny his achievements, and why he'd stick with those at the bottom of the ladder, eager to hear praises for any measly trick.
It was also why he absolutely detested talking with Pomegranate Cookie, for she had no concept of a "positive work environment".
"You failed, again..." the sorceress muttered, her eyes narrowing as she tapped her crimson mirror against her chin. "Truly, you're about as pitiful as those rags you're wearing. Had I known you'd be this useless, I would've enlisted someone else for this."
Licorice Cookie flinched at the harsh words, but didn't hesitate to talk back. "Ugh- So how about you go and do this!? My magic simply shouldn't be wasted on something silly like a hide-and-seek game, that's the only reason I didn't find that thing yet!"
"So you're failing at a game of "hide-and-seek"... A mission trusted to us by our Master herself..." the ceremonial bells jingled as Pomegranate Cookie used them to hide a small smile, her eyes gleaming mockingly like fresh jam. "I'll make sure to include this in the report. I'm sure Master will be ecstatic to hear what you think of a task such as reclaiming something that could ensure our full power over the cookiekind." the necromancer immediately stiffened.
"Th-That's not what I meant- Hey, you're twisting my words again!" he grit his teeth, raising his scythe off the ground by an inch. "I'm saying, if I'm stuck with weakling as underlings, two meddling fools as enemies, and a buzzing mosquito as a- A-A "supervisor"! Then obviously it's going to take time!"
"And you have taken your sweet time." she simply sighed, unamused. "Shameful and useless, to think that you let that thing evade your grasp..." suddenly, she almost seemed to lit up, holding her ceremonial tools infront of herself. "In fact, you've wasted so much time... That Master decided to lend a hand."
"...Eh?" Licorice Cookie paused, momentarily snapped out of his anger. "W-Wait, wait, what do you mean?! She's not here, is she?!"
"No, Dark Enchantress Cookie isn't here. As of now, she's already on her way from Beast-Yeast to whatever remained of Pure Vanilla Kingdom." he let out a sigh of relief at her words. "Instead... She sent us a special tool to utilize."
Licorice Cookie felt dread build up in his chest as he registered what Pomegranate Cookie said. His worries were confirmed as the ground rumbled under the sheer pressure of the monster's floating body.
"It already has all it needs to find our run-away." Pomegranate Cookie mused, once more hiding a smile - this time, one that was far more pleased. "Whether it's returned crumbled or not? I believe Master cares little for it's state anymore - after all, it's not like death is the limit."
Wild Strawberry Cookie was stronger than Azure Wizard Cookie. They knew that well. Where his knowledge and magic couldn't help, her strength and Time Jumpers very often could. Even though they were evenly matched, something they found out upon their first meeting, their strengths laid in completely different directions. Hence, united by the goal to survive, they decided to stick together and use one another. They did occasionally refer to it as "teamwork", but whenever one of them would, Azure Wizard Cookie would make a sarcastic remark and laugh (albeit with exaggeration), or Wild Strawberry Cookie would roll her eyes and throw in a "you need me more than I need you" (though with a twinge of pride underneath the insult). Point being - they were used to exploiting one another like parasites for the sake of a common goal.
What they were not used to, was having a third party in all of this.
The undead could hardly be called it, though. Although now with his eyes opened, it didn't seem like he was actually registering anything that happened around him. His gaze didn't move, he didn't blink, and he completely ignored Azure Wizard Cookie's excited question, much to the boy's annoyance. Wild Strawberry Cookie occasionally shaked the wheelbarrow (nearly injuring herself several times due to how damaged the handles were from their raid), hoping to catch the thing off-guard and get a reaction, but it only resulted in his leg nearly chipping off completely.
Really, he was more of an unnecessary ballast than a "third party". Since Wild Strawberry Cookie had to push the wheelbarrow with him around, Azure Wizard Cookie had to create sugar sculpture tiles so she could actually get it inside the building - who could've predicted the ground near the Witch's Hut would be so uneven?
Wild Strawberry Cookie probably could've. She just didn't bother, giving Azure Wizard Cookie another reason to complain.
Still, they were finally inside. The wheels thankfully were quiet enough on the floorboards. The whole place was dark and dusty, and smelled of dough and... Something strange. The Azure Staff described it as raw magic, but neither of the cookies were sure whether to believe it or not. Speaking of the staff, it was a curious item - it's flames would burn brighter whenever they got closer to "the thing".
"...What thing are we even looking for?" Wild Strawberry Cookie asked quietly. The realization the staff never even mentioned what the "super powerful item" was supposed to be dawned on her with the type of exhaustion she could imagine only Toothpaste Cookie to be capable of experiencing.
"...I don't know." Azure Wizard Cookie admitted, earning a small groan of frustration. He sighed, but before he could ask, the staff lit up, it's blue flames leaning towards a space between a nearby shelf and the wall. "Ah, it must be there!"
The two sped up to behind the shelf, with Wild Strawberry Cookie pushing the wheelbarrow with more force, causing the undead to move around a bit. The way his eye twitched went unnoticed.
As expected, in the hidden nooks and crannies of the Witch's Hut, there were several signs of cookies having been there before. Ones that tried to hide, to escape... And who failed. Remnants of tents, little houses made of a mix of gingerbread and Witches' wood, a sticky honeycomb shelter with strange candy door...
And a jellybean storage in the corner. The Azure Staff was acting as though it would jump there itself if it could. The two cookies looked at each other, before Wild Strawberry Cookie approached the door of the storage. Raising her spiked lollipop, she struck the door with all her might, sending them flying. She then returned to the undead's side as Azure Wizard Cookie entered the storage.
She waited, one hand on the wheelbarrow. She looked down at the undead, her eyes narrowing. The thing stared back, as lifeless as before.
"...You're sure acting weird." she stated, as though expecting an answer. After all, it was no lie. In her timeline, this thing.. This guy would be acting completely different. Attempting to eat her already... And he would likely look different, too.
"...You're not a zombie, then. Not a complete monster, at least." she continued to mumble, waiting for a reaction. When none came, she sighed. "Or you're just paralyzed and useless... I guess we'll see."
Just then, she heard a squeaky "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" from the storage room - Azure Wizard Cookie using that tone meant he got extra irritated, if not straight up angry. She whipped around instantly, walking up to the door.
"I thought we were supposed to be quiet?!" she hissed, ready to battle if necessary. There was no immediate threat in sight. Just a short, fuming cookie.
"The Witch is gone right now!" he snapped, shaking the staff a bit. The flames shot up to try making him stop. "This bastard's "mystery item" is a- A-!"
"A stupid handle!" he almost screeched, gesturing to a brand new handle on the staff's rod. It was beautiful - a piece of great craftsmanship, with magical patterns and runes carved into it.
Wild Strawberry Cookie was not amused, only not taking the staff to slam it against the wall herself because she knew how important it was to Azure Wizard Cookie.
"Let's waterboard it when we get home." she blurted out. He nodded eagerly, but paused as the staff flickered.
"...You won't lose powers at all, I almost drowned with you several times!" he snapped again. Wild Strawberry Cookie took a deep breath in and exhaled, heading for the door.
"Well, you are right that the Witch is gone..." she mumbled. "Whatever was used to make that guy an undead will probably be on her table."
"True..." he followed her out of the storage. Seemingly putting their anger at the Azure Staff aside, the two moved towards the other end of the nook... Just to pause as they heard a strange noise.
Wild Strawberry Cookie picked up on it first, her experience coming in handy. She stopped walking, listening in. The noise was... Strange. Like something was splattering nearby in small amounts, but also accompanied by crackling of fire. She was about to turn around to check, when Azure Wizard Cookie bumped into her, not having noticed anything. She hissed as the collision pushed her to the wheelbarrow, causing her hand to slide on the rough handle. A small crack finally opened in her dough.
"Ugh-!" she shaked her hand a bit, gritting her teeth under the hood.
"Ah- Uh, sorry." Azure Wizard Cookie mumbled. Although his voice was hardly apologetic, his eye held a bit of concern as he inspected the injury. "Why did you stop?"
"Because I heard something-" before she could elaborate further, a noise similar to a slash erupted nearby. They both froze, looking back. Exchanging a look, Azure Wizard Cookie made a motion for her to extend her hand, followed by a gesture of "keep quiet". Wild Strawberry Cookie nodded, extending her hand. Although still irritated with the Azure Staff, she was completely fine with being healed by it - not the first, and likely not the last time. Not to mention, as far as she was concerned, it Azure Wizard Cookie's doing only.
The blue flames dulled as he started whispering the spell. The staff was never meant for healing spells, but of well, here they were. The fire spread and twisted, extending before gently ripping off from the staff, making their way into the crack on her dough... And downwards. Unused to the healing magic, Azure Wizard Cookie couldn't really stop the side-effect of the healing blaze not always reaching it's target only. A great shame, because the fire slowly fell further and further down... Until eventually, it sneaked into the next thing it perceived as needing healing.
Straight into the crack on the undead's arm.
The undead cookie finally gave a reaction. Just not one they would've even wanted - the noise that left his mouth was something that could only be described as a mix of a shriek and a squawk of pain, accompanied by a jump in the wheelbarrow.
Azure Wizard Cookie and Wild Strawberry Cookie both tensed, their heads snapping in his direction so fast it was a miracle they didn't crack. Before they could react to it, the noises started getting closer. Wild Strawberry Cookie cursed under her breath, grabbing the undead. Seeing that he was unresponsive again, she picked him up, carrying him towards the jellybean storage. Azure Wizard Cookie followed close behind... But made the mistake of looking back over his shoulder.
The thing he saw was sure to visit his nightmares. Giant, floating, and absolutely terrifying. It was definitely a cake monster, but none that he's seen before. Hovering above the ground, the splattering noise was revealed to be it's icing melting off from inside of it's white chocolate ribs. It's upper body was made out of a cake, and so was it's head, he assumed. Witches, it's head - with candy candle horns and a spiky crown from sharpened forks. It had one, reddish pink candy cane arm, and shoulder pads and a cape out of cream. It's one, diamond shaped eye scanned it's surroundings, with the blinding white light engulfing everything it would turn towards.
Azure Wizard Cookie could feel his heart in his dough, the cold sweat dripping down his face. Just as the monster was about to turn, Wild Strawberry Cookie pulled him inside by the sleeve. The white light came in through the broken doorframe, but since they stood by the wall, it didn't touch them. They waited with baited breath, terrified even once it turned away.
"Th..That thing..." Azure Wizard Cookie muttered shakily. Wild Strawberry Cookie continued to hold the undead in her arms.
"Giant. Cake monster. What the fuck." she spat out, whisper yelling. "What kind of timeline is this..?! Azure, what does your damn staff know about it!?"
"It-" he froze, turning pale. "N-No, no, it went quiet- I told you to shut up many times, but don't go quiet on me right now..!" he squeezed the staff with panic. "I'll polish that damned handle for you, just-!"
"Azure!" she interrupted him. "Calm down, it'll probably start talking once we're out of here!" she placed a hand on his shoulder. "Ugh- I need you here, so don't you panic!"
Azure Wizard Cookie took a few shaky breaths in, nodding slowly. "R..Right, right... Right, I won't panic..!"
He wouldn't panic. Not again. No, he was not going to panic here. Wild Strawberry Cookie was depending on him, and he was not going to rely on luck to get them out of here. Never again.
"But, uh... The other thing. The undead." he blurted out, looking at the demolished cookie, who has resorted back to it's unresponsive state. "He.. He-"
"Screamed." Wild Strawberry Cookie confirmed. "I never heard a zombie scream. They don't scream..!"
"So he's different than your zombies." Azure Wizard Cookie nodded to himself. "He... But he's quiet again... Wait, I used a healing spell, maybe he- No, stupid, he doesn't need it, it hurt him!" he facepalmed. "Ugh, I'll figure it when we-!"
They screamed as a giant fork suddenly jabbed it's way through the jellybeans, pulling off the upper part of the storage. The monster shined it's light at the three, two of which stared up at it in absolute terror. It's head tilted... And the black and red fire on it's candles burned a darker shade. It's fork slammed down at them, forcing them to dodge.
Azure Wizard Cookie, seeing that his accomplice had her hands full, took on the burden of fighting. Chanting spells, he shot out lightnings that barely scraped the devil infront of him. Usually, he'd be delighted at the chance to suck the magic force out of something like this - but usually, he had his staff actually helping somewhat and not being a useless prick!
The monster, ignoring his attacks, used the fork again, attempting to strike Wild Strawberry Cookie again. She yelped, holding the undead closer... And visibly agitated the creature by doing so.
"It's after the undead!" she concluded, eyes widening at the realization. Azure Wizard Cookie was not pleased by that information.
"Don't let it get a chance... To even graze him!" he immediately yelled, pausing only to chant a more powerful strike of dark magic. "I still need him!"
"Strawberry, just keep him safe! I'll be fine!" he interrupted, his focus breaking for a moment. Just one moment... And it was more than enough to allow the monster to finally get rid of him, at least for a moment, throwing him across the floor with it's fork. He yelped, the thud of his body followed by Wild Strawberry Cookie's scream.
The fork swung down on him, but was stopped by her lollipop. The stick of her weapon nearly broke from the sheer force, but when it didn't, the creature resorted to moving the fork abruptly, forcing her body to move to the side, sending her tumbling down.
"Ugh- My staff!" Azure Wizard Cookie cried out, seeing his dearest tool laying away. He heard Wild Strawberry Cookies noise of pain, and quickly looked around, which proved to be a mistake.
His head hurt, a lot. His gaze was blurry, he felt lightheaded, as though his head was splitting... Ah, it was splitting. He could feel jam spilling from the crack that spread from the top of his forehead to between his eyes. He hissed, trying to orient himself.
His staff is out of reach. So is Wild Strawberry Cookie. The demon, monster, whatever it was, was ready to swing down at her again. Feeling sick to his stomach, Azure Wizard Cookie looked back at his staff. If he could get it, he could make a portal. He could get out of there, pass out from exhaustion and pick himself up the next day.
He could ensure he would survive this, at all cost.
But he didn't. No, like the absolute fool he was, he crawled to his knees and threw himself to his accomplice, no, to his friend. After all, he promised. He promised, when they first met, that he and Wild Strawberry Cookie would survive together.
If she's not going to make it, neither will he. No matter how loud she screams at him to get out the way, to run... He's not breaking that promise.
And thankfully, didn't have to.
The fork never came. Instead, the creature finally made some sort of sound - a growl of displeasure. Looking up, the two froze at what they saw, though Azure Wizard Cookie did so mostly to get a clearer view through his hazy vision.
The undead has risen. He's moved again, and this time, he moved with enough force to somehow push the creature back. Barely standing on his mangled dough, he turned to give them a smile of sharp teeth and a joyous look of red eyes behind the black sockets of his mask. Seeing them just lay there, he motioned at the honeycomb shelter with his head, turning back to the creature.
Wild Strawberry Cookie immediately grabbed her friend by the clothes, dragging him in. Once they got inside, the strange door closed, cutting off their view. They found themselves in a small entry of the shelter, with some buttons on the side, likely used to open up the rest of the building.
Shaken up, Azure Wizard Cookie stuttered, blinking. "Wh.. Huh-? D-Did he just-?"
"I knew he was pretending!" Wild Strawberry Cookie pulled on her now tattered hoodie, gripping her lollipop tightly. "A-And how did he-!? Why's that thing looking for him, anyway!?"
"...It's looking for him." Azure Wizard Cookie repeated slowly, sitting up as the realization sunk in. "Crap, it's here for him! Sh-Shouldn't we do something-?"
"Like what!?" she snapped, shutting him up. She had a point - they both almost got completely annihilated out there... But not only did he need the undead, that cookie saved them both!
"I-I don't know- I'll get my staff-!"
"Like hell you will!" she slammed her lollipop on the ground. "You're injured, you'll die out there! I'm not staying alone again-!"
A loud screech tore through their argument. They went silent, staring at the closed door of the entrance.
Another splattering noise... And a lot of sounds of tearing through dough. A small amount of jam started to pour in through the crack under the door, just as a gleeful laughter sent chills down their spines. Crashing noises, the bending and breaking of metal, cream hitting the floor... And finally, silence.
They held their breath as, in the absolute quiet, footsteps rung out. Something was slowly approaching the door. Wild Strawberry Cookie took a step closer to Azure Wizard Cookie's curled form, ready to shield him if necessary.
The thing stopped infront of the door... And abruptly, the monster's candy cane fingers ripped through the melted sugar door. The two flinched - did the creature kill- Capture the undead..?!
...No, no, it did not. It couldn't have.
Because the undead's giant grin of sharp teeth was what they saw first as the door started opening.
Now with his mask gone, his head was split in half, similarly to Azure Wizard Cookie's, except on a far larger scale. Jam was splattered over his face and the cloth around his neck. His bright red eyes were wide with a chilling type of joy that made them freeze. As he forced the door open, they noticed the monster's body in the background, bleeding out with it's own fork stabbed into what remained of it's corpse. It's arm was partially ripped off... Attached to the undead's body - that is, minus a few clawed fingers, which were attached to his other arm.
The undead tilted his head, took a step closer, and...
"That was AWESOME!" he threw "his" hands up, his eyes closing and revealing the severe eyebags under them. "You guys are just- Incredible! So cool! And- And awesome!"
Wild Strawberry Cookie blinked slowly. "...What?"
"Your fighting was the coolest thing ever!" he continued to ramble. "A-And the spells! I haven't seen such dark magic in months! You're the cool- The best, dude!" Azure Wizard Cookie let out an incomprehensible whimper of pride, still feeling dizzy, but a little flattered now.
"...Who are you?" Wild Strawberry Cookie finally asked, clearly confused on why he was so happy.
"Gingerbrave!" he announced, gesturing to himself with a grin. "Came up with it myself!~"
"...Uh-huh." she nodded, feeling as though she's entertaining a younger cousin on a family gathering. "And, um... You helped us."
"Of course I did! You guys are my friends!"
"And now that the Cake Witch is outta my icing... I'm gonna help you steal the Soul Jam!"
"W-Wait, wait, pause!" Azure Wizard Cookie raised a hand, regaining a bit of lucidity. "Cake Witch?! Friends?! And what- Soul Jam!?"
Soul Jam. Possibly the most powerful thing in the world, channeling the power to bend reality to one's will. Famous not only for their own existence, but also for the five Heroes wielding them.
"Yeah! That was a Cake Witch!" Gingerbrave nodded gleefully. "Stupid thing from that weirdo creep, Dark Enchantress Cookie, long story. And of course we're friends!" he gestured to Wild Strawberry Cookie, then Azure Wizard Cookie, then to both of them. "You gave me this cool scarf thing! You said you need me! And you both don't treat me like a freak right of the bat! You're my coolest, bestest friends ever!"
He put his hands on his hips - something that looked rather comical, considering the Cake Witch's fingers were extraordinarily big in comparison to his body.
"And with the Soul Jam, we can ensure no one treats us like freaks! I heard you complain about it a lot on our way here! No, actually... We will make sure no one is treated like a freak!"
"Let's beat Dark Enchantress Cookie to it, and create a world of pure freedom and lawlessness!"
He finished his speech with the brightest smile the two have ever seen on another cookie, undead or not. Wild Strawberry Cookie and Azure Wizard Cookie looked at each other.
It was insane. There was no plan, clearly. The undead had the ambition, the strength, but nothing else. It would fail, it would absolutely fail.
And yet... The temptation to try, to try helping this maniac... Well, it's not like they didn't have any interest in this themselves.
"...I want my staff back first." Azure Wizard Cookie blurted out. "Then... I guess I can help."
"...You're doing the dishes." Wild Strawberry Cookie pointed at the undead with a resigned sigh. Gingerbrave laughed, nodding.
"Perfect! Perfect! We can definitely do this, I'm sure! Of course we will, I have my best friends by my side now!"
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