tw brief mentions of pedophilia and abuse
i'm gonna expand on this a bit more bc I think there's a clear distinction between two types of Misogyny in Fandom (tm). and also as you will find, my rant here is more relevant to cisfemale!Reader than anything else, so my criticisms are probably not about you if you don't fit that category! :
Obviously misogynistic scenarios which are Kinkified (e.g. bimbo reader, yandere tropes, student/teacher, boss/sexcretary etc)
MY thoughts regarding this (ur free to disagree) are pretty much that these are probably overall net negative for society but also needed/permissible –– we should have better safeguards surrounding this content to prevent vulnerable eyes & impressionable minds who don't heed the tags, but as it stands that's probably impossible to do without a surveillance state, so in the interest of protecting the freedom of the internet & being anti-censorship, I guess it just exists.
Also, like with many of the darker dark romance tropes, these fantasies (BECAUSE they are fantasies and do NOT reflect what actions most people will take or tolerate IRL) can often be cathartic. However, maybe they should be cathartic in private and not on a public sphere (like that one lady that wrote an ageplay book that was so explicit and pedophilic that it got her arrested) but again, enforcing this without decreasing privacy is ?? probably not possible but also im NOT a compsci person & i haven't thought about the feasibility of this a lot. so.
BACK TO MY MAIN POINT ABT THIS holy ramble: this is OBVIOUSLY BAD and obviously a FANTASY and obviously most people won't partake in this shit IRL. fantasies are safe spaces to explore loss of control or whatever the appeal for whatever fantasy we're talking about it is. Do i think it's 100% healthy? no. I do think consuming more and more of this content probably stagnates your healing from whatever trauma you're seeking catharsis but guess what I'm also not a therapist so please seek one out and work thru ur shit. I can't even lie and say I don't partake in this genre bc I do! I'm in therapy!
2. TROPES THAT ARE EVERYWHERE, NOT TAGGED, THAT MOST PEOPLE DON'T EVEN REALIZE IS MISOGYNISTIC!!!!!!!!!!
"Nanami comes home from work stressed out & exhausted only to find you cuddled up on the couch with tea watching TV" → sounds lovely, right? WRONG. WHY IS READER JOBLESS? DOES Y/N NOT WORK? WHY IS THIS IN 80% OF NANAMI FICS. WHY IS Y/N ALWAYS JOBLESS unless he's a sorcerer but that's not common in nanami fics.
"Mmm dinner smells lovely, nanami says" WHY ?????? DID I MAKE DINNER ???? AM I NOT TIRED! FROM WORK! WHAT IS THIS TRADWIFE PROPAGANDA ! it's often implied that Y/N always makes dinner and sheeple, why isn't there an equal division of household labor? not only is that a gross mischaracterization of my food enthusiast Feminist King Kento Nanami but also why, in ur fantasies, are u dreaming of household labor 😭😭😭 there is no way ALL of you have cooking as a love language. how much of this is gender roles, reflect!!!!!!!!!!!
same thing happens w gojo often where it's written that he "can't cook" and "burns water" so good thing he has female YN who does the cooking! GIRL. OPEN UR FUCKING EYES???? also, the last point...
let's talk about "Fictional Character when ur on ur period headcanons!!!" i implore you all to STOP this nonsense. are your lives seriously so significantly impacted by your periods that you just need to cuddle and stay in and be babied for the entire evening and next couple of days? because if so, see a doctor i'm not even joking 😭😭😭 unless ur american & not on health insurance... idk what u should do then but at least know that you should NOT be in that much pain or having excessive blood loss or whatever. it should really be more or less a regular ass day. you day to day activities should NOT be disrupted. my periods don't really affect my life in anyway except that a) changing pads is annoying i guess. minor inconvenience. b) i have to rethink any swimming plans bc i personally don't like tampons. c) i sometimes take advil or other NSAIDs & go on with my life and d) i'm anemic so i get a bit more dizzy. None of these are really grounds for a cutesy xreader fic but that's ok !!!!! why are there millions of fics treating reader like a fragile glass doll for being on her period !!!! that is not the case for most of you, it is unrealistic and infantilizing!!!!!! YOU ARE FUNCTIONAL PEOPLE. BE NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the difference between period headcanons & "YN is a sorcerer who almost died and therefore Character is babying her" is that the latter is valid and reasonable. THE FORMER IS NOT. unless you have debilitating endometriosis or something but that's a very specific type of fic & not what i'm talking about. those fics are specifically about a chronically ill reader... normal PERIODS ARE NOT A CHRONIC ILLNESS.
u r feeding into the women weak and fragile stereotype pLEASEEEE CAN YOU PLEASEEEEEEEE PLS PLS PLS PLEASEEEEE BE FUCKING FR. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! I BEG.
also, A GROWN ASS MAN WOULD NOT MAKE BUYING PADS OR TAMPONS A WHOLE THING (TM). why are there so many stories where the men all either go KYAAAAAAAA WHAT IS THIS STRANGE LAND! or (rugged smirk) "what size pussy r u babe" ?????????? PLEASE BE FUCKING NORMAL.
i know it's a meme format. i'm saying the meme format has misogynistic undertones. it's a normal human bodily function & should be treated as such, NOT ridiculed for fanfic content.
"hey since ur at the store can u also pick up oranges and pads/tampons/diva cups/whatever u fancy" >>>> "omggg before u come home from work can u pls pick up pads for me i ran out <3333 (why can't reader get them herself? is she immobilized? held hostage? omg does she have a JOB finally? if so, why can't she pick it up on the way back from work? why does she have to ask someone else to do it?)
i also just find it ridiculous that i would ever need someone to go out & buy pads for me bc i never run low bc i proactively buy them ??? u know it's coming up soon whatever ur schedule is so ???????? but i've never been lived w a partner so i'm not gonna harp on this too much
i've read a decent amount of reader x character have a baby fics in which there are throwaway lines about how the male character "doesn't know how to change a diaper" or "reader taught him how to hold/change/burp/etc the child" or the premise is "dad's first time alone with the child" and you guys... in your fantasies, why are you married to a loser who doesn't know how to parent??? i don't think you guys realize just how hands-off and absent the male main character (MMC) would have to be to NOT know how to change diapers at month 4 or whatever. WHY IS THIS YOUR FANTASY????? i do think it's less misogyny and more inexperience but fucking hell man use your brains. i know you've got em.
this trope is growing as nerdjo fics are on the rise but the general concept of "he's good at school without effort and she's good at school bc she works hard" is also... you guessed it.... misogynistic (when overused)! if it was a one-off then that's fine but the fact that i've seen this across many a fic (across fandoms and even in published books).... it does make sense in the realm of fanfic bc you want YN to be relatable and most people are not naturally gifted at academics but come on!!!! how are you guys not seeing the issue in this! this is hard to balance with gojo bc he IS canonically good at everything he does with little effort, so this is a natural role for him to fall into, but idk try to remedy this in other ways ... nerf him somehow... ugh it's just irritating.
also fuck it i know i said the bimbo kink bc it's so obviously a kink, detached-from-reality thing is .. whatever... not fine, not acceptable, but somehow yeah it is (i have very complicated feelings on this) ... it's still irritating bc why do you WANT to be an airhead 😭😭 and also plot wise why is YN in uni/college if she's genuinely has no brain cells?? HOW IS SHE WRITING HER EXAMS???? more nonsensical than misogyn that's not even true. ugh it's just! i don't get it! but it's not for everyone i guess but i have to wonder who it's even for and why
jealousy fics. the concern about talking to a random ass man. i dont think people who write this have ever experienced how controlling and SUFFOCATING this dynamic is but holy fuck you guys you do NOT want to find yourself ever in that position. jealousy fics where the premise is NROMAL ASS PLATONIC INTERACTIONS (whihc is mOST OF THEM!!!!!!!!!! MOST OF THE SITUATIONS ARE NORMAL IN THESE FICS) is just straight up mimicking an actual IRL abusive dynamic. why are we doing this ❤️ do better ❤️❤️ & if you find someone ur in a relationship with or considering being in one with getting overly concerned about normal!!!!!!!!!!! as !!!!!! fuck !!!!!!!! interactions!!!!!!! about every person of a specific gender!!!!!!! get the fuck out with haste. that is not love; it's control. u r property and their ego is hurt that their object is playing by their rules. u r not a person. GET OUT !!! and don't romanticize this shit PLEASE.
i saw this one fic that was like reader asking MMC to fix something in the house (like patch a hole in the drywall or maybe switch a lightbulb??) like girl if you don't open YouTube and get to fucking work...
again i dont get why in ur fantasies ur incompetent
mans work vs womens work is CRAZY omg ppl need to DIE im so mad
"i'm so small and tiny he's so big and strong!!!!" → ❌❌❌
listen. we've all grown up (more or less) in cultures where girls and women are taught to be girls who are weak and skinny and """"""feminine"""""" and boys are men and men are men who are Big Tall Strong Broad Capable Aggressive & Assertive Leaders Head of the Family Unit CEOs etc etc. i cannot deny that this socialization still affects me and yes, the qualities I'm attracted to include big and strong!
however, one can go about writing this in a way where female YNs are not made to feel attractive BECAUSE they're smaller / weaker.
like there's a big difference between "i looked so small and cute held against his tall body and broad shoulders. he's so much bigger than me and i'm so weak i can't even carry grocery bags and he can throw me into a wall and kill me awww <333 " vs "he wrapped around me in a hug, wholly engulfing me and shielding me away from the world –– all i could see, hear, feel, and smell was just him him him" → SAME SCENARIO OF SOMEONE BIGGER HUGGING SOMEONE SMALLER BUT LESS MISOGYNY IN THE SECOND!
idk theres better examples but im not a writer so i will leave this as homework for you writers and readers to notice when & where this writing shows up and how it can be reworded to be more 'not pedophilic, easily abuse-able standard of womanhood'
there's so much more but it's not coming to my mind atm. i'll probably add to this as I remember more.
the takeaway is this: don't be stupid ur pissing me OFF. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!
but no fr: misogyny is everywhere for those with the eyes to see it. stay woke. please write ur Readers as reasonable humans instead of caricatures of the pedophilic, easily abuse-able standard of womanhood.
