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@mocha-latte
people who don't experience hyperfixation don't know what it feels like to hyperfixate so much on something that it becomes not only your subject of obsession but also your source of happiness and literally the main reason why you still keep going; literal source of strength and life.
shoutout to my favorite fictional characters, favorite people, favorite ships, favorite movies, favorite tv shows, fanfics and archive of our own
i can handle one (1) Event™ per day. whether it be a phone call, an appointment, trip to the grocery store, play date with a friend, etc. only one, that's it. any more than that and i am Stressed
I think the purest form of love is just wanting someone to notice life with you. "taste this. look at that. hear this song." again and again. until you can't imagine noticing life without them.
doubting myself again but I have no choice but to move forward anyways
sometimes pushing through self-doubt or 'doing it scared' isn't liberating or a show of courage - sometimes it's a matter of duty or necessity, the currents of life totally ambivalent to your feelings or what you can handle. and maybe you're not in a good place to manage the fallout of facing your fears. maybe it drains you more than it energizes you. maybe it makes your fears worse.
sometimes, despite waves of stage fright & digging your heels you're manhandled, shoved onto stage. you stumble out from behind the red curtains and stare at the crowd before you, blinded by the set lights, before realizing the show must go on. and so you perform. even if you do a terrible job, even if it's degrading. because you're past the point of no return.
and you might only hear stories of smooth transitions, of straightforward trajectories from A to B to C. but sometimes your progress thru life is ugly. sometimes you have to do things before you're ready, unequipped and unqualified, or the growing pains are too much to bear. and all you can do is wait until the storm is over!
Artwork Copyright © Tyler Spangler
Shop: shoptylerspangler.com
Annalauraart
I always regret the moments when I forget where I am and accidentally open up to my family, when I allow joy or sadness to ripple freely across the still waters of my face, when I express anything at all too intensely.
The aftermath of any disclosure is met with neither criticism nor praise, but silence. It feels worse, somehow, like a dismissal: “We’ve seen what you have to offer, and we’re not impressed. If we want to hear more, we’ll let you know. Until then, keep it to yourself.”
Conversation with them always leaves me feeling like I’m ‘too much’ — too needy, too independent, too sensitive, too feminist. Their silences are a reminder of why I should always keep my guard up.
I don't know exactly when my body language and speech patterns started transforming into something greyscale whenever I’m around them. It’s an automatic response to their presence, now — to keep my sparkling colours muted, my facial muscles tightened and my gestures stilled. My arms closer to my body, my clothes looser, my voice monotone, my opinions neutral.
I become an abridged version of myself, edited to prevent outrage.
It’s quite clearly a subconscious effort to keep my heart safe — if I never show them who I am in the first place, I won’t feel so hurt by the inevitability of being misunderstood. They’re going to judge me either way; at least this way it’s a version of me I can snap out of afterwards.
But this awareness changes nothing. It was necessary when I still lived under their roof, and since distance hasn't quite taught me how not to let them get to me, it’s still necessary now.
Ever noticed how parents seem to never remember any of the toxic things they've told you but somehow always know what they've paid for?
Sneaky Kids.©
Strict parent's
Raise sneaky kids -
And while I pull the rug from your feet
You're still blinded by your grace,
Wearing it like a god-forsaken blindfold.
Strict parents
Raise sneaky kids -
Or so, that's what they say!
Perhaps through the cravings for rebellion
You could at least try
To see our struggle,
Our tired and weary eyes
And burnt out flame.
Strict parents
Raise sneaky kids
And traumatized flowers
Sprouting from their ribs.
Flowers that pollinate,
Spreading this generational curse
To the very end of time.
So yeah,
Strict parents raise sneaky kids
And it's a never ending cycle
Just Like
That.
rage bait
8/29/25
does anyone else's family constantly rage bait them and make condescending remarks?
my family loves to say things that just set me off then wonder why im so angry or irritated all of the time. im the angry daughter but they made me that way. i dont want to be like this, but i think its just the way i am now. maybe i have issues, who knows? maybe i need to see a doctor or something.
its genuinely so exhausting being like this. i hate being easily irritated. i really try not to be. i try to be patient and understanding but sometimes its impossible. sometimes i just think about the things going on in the world, the things going on in my world, and get angry. i know its exhausting for everyone around me as well. theyre not quiet about that. even when they dont say it, i can see it on their faces. i cant blame them though. i hate me for it too.
im tired of being the mean, angry daughter.
im sure others can relate..
"Yeah, so I've got this condition called misophonia where certain trigger sounds like chewing, heavy breathing, and others cause extreme mental distress-"
"just ignore the sounds"
brains are so stupid they'll be like hey, hey!! you're in danger of death I gotta turn on survival mode and you're like oh shit is there a huge hippopotamus attacking me or something? and your brain will be like no no no it's so much worse. there's someone chewing food next to you
I hate my family I want run away I thought I could leave them behind forever but I can’t please help me it’s so unfair that I life dealt me these cards and that I had to grow up in such a toxic, neglectful, controlling, and suffocating environment I don’t want to be here I’d rather die than be here someone please help me I can’t get away I can’t get away I need to get away please help me I don’t want to be here I can’t believe that this is my life and I have to live with these people I can’t believe that I was so unlucky with the family I ended up with I want to get out of here please help me I need to run away