Mold in the Sink

silly sideblog

[stuckinapril]

In every relationship or friendship worth having, there will be inevitable moments of awkwardness, anger, miscommunication, frustration, or impatience. It’s how each person decides to navigate that that determines how much they care about one another. If you internalize those moments as an overarching statement that speaks louder than all the good times you had with this person, you are practically shooting yourself in the foot. If you decide to walk away at natural moments of friction, either that person didn’t matter all that much to you, or you do care but elect to self-sabotage all moments of connection because you fear abandonment or negative reactions from people you care about. Either way this is unsustainable and guarantees a lifetime of loneliness.

[pb36cyan]

Remember kids, cults BITE.

B- Behaviour control. What are you allowed to do? Wear? Eat? Are you banned from certain public spaces by the doctrine? How often must you pray or otherwise perform rites? Are you required to pay tithes or make tribute of your earnings in some way? Do you live on "holy ground" with other followers? Are possessions controlled?

I- Information control. What are you allowed to know? What questions can you ask? Are you allowed to poke at flaws in the doctrine? Are you allowed to consume media from outside of the group? Can you bring in outside knowledge, or is it deemed forbidden?

T- Thought control. Can you think critically of the doctrine? What are you shamed for believing? What are you encouraged in believing? Again, can you poke at flaws in the doctrine without being punished? How often do you use thought-stopping techniques like chants, songs, or group prayer?

E- Emotional Control. What do you feel about the doctrine/group? Are these feelings considered "correct"? Does going against the group in a harmless way fill you with crushing guilt and shame? Is moral weight placed on emotional responses?

[unthrifty--loveliness-deactivat]

Just so we’re clear, if I point out that you did something racist, that’s not the same as me thinking you’re irremediably terrible. You did a racist thing.

[unthrifty--loveliness-deactivat]

You think you don’t do racist things, homophobic things, etc? You do. I caught myself in fat phobic and homophobic lines of thinking/speech just this morning. I’m fucking gay married. Nothing disqualifies you from acting in a way that reflects the society you exist in. We are obliged to fight it. Why not fight it in honesty and with camaraderie?

[hartlow]

Also happy disability pride month to people with symptoms where even specialists for said symptoms have no idea what the fuck is going on or how to help you. People whose lives have been completely destroyed and they don't even have the privilege of naming who the enemy is. I see you and I wish more people acknowledged you

[prole-log]

[cripplepunk-sylveon]

Regular reminder that "humans are parasites" and "maybe we're the virus, maaan" are ecfoascist dogwhistles.

The average person won't produce nearly the same contribution to climate change in their lifetime as corporatism does in a single day.

[nokias-nonsense]

*grips you*

your symptoms dont have to be the most severe to be valid. your symptoms are real, and others having worse symptoms doesn't mean anything about yours. its real, its valid and it deserves treatment

[2pen2wildfire]

parents are allowed to straight-up torture their kids with zero consequences. they can withhold food and water, lock you out of shelter, confiscate your belongings, bar you from human contact, attack and harm you and exert complete control over your physical appearance. and this is just the norm. if you speak out against it you're seen as a delinquent or a predator. even otherwise progressive people get uncomfortable with the idea of dismantling the nuclear family unit because they still see it as the best way to keep kids safe when that simply couldn't be further from the truth. it's evil.

[heyftinally]

This is also part of why I'm so loud about homeschool reform, specifically in the USA.

In the US, there is no meaningful legal definition for educational/academic neglect in any of the 50 states or federally. What this means is that a child can be "homeschooled" and exclusively be taught how to cook and clean, reach the age of 18 being unable to read, write, or count, and this alone is not considered neglect. That 18yo, should they even have the knowledge that suing exists, has no legal grounds to sue their parents for denying them an education.

In over 40 US states, a convicted child abuser can homeschool their children. So someone who has done time for child abuse and somehow regains access to their child(ren) can decide upon returning home that they want to "homeschool" their kids. Those children are now locked in a home with their abuser where nobody can see them.

There are no welfare checks.

There are no routine assessments.

There aren't even databases — state or federal — keeping track of how many homeschooled kids there actually are.

Meaning a child can be locked in their home for their entire life with their convicted abuser, learn absolutely nothing, never go to the doctor, and so long as that child is fed, clothed, and the abuse isn't physical or sexual, that child has almost no chance of rescue and no legal ground to seek restitution if/when they escape.

The only way homeschooled children get rescued is if they're beaten, starved, or physically neglected and they're able to get the right person to see that. Otherwise? They have to wait until someone finds out they were murdered as a result of their parents "homeschooling".

And feral homeschool parents love to jump down my throat about this, and then get even more pissed when I tell them I'm a homeschool alumni.

Because I know it's not all homeschoolers. But even one is too many, and the lack of protections should scare everyone. If you're a good homeschool parent, nothing will change. If not, you deserve whatever comes your way as a result of adequate oversight.

Children deserve rights.

[combinecremator]

so apparently the key to getting commissions is to make friends with people who are not artists. ive done a couple small pieces for a friend i made at my local card shop and now other folks are like "do you accept commissions???" like well i DIDNT, but

[combinecremator]

genuinely my pro tip is "make shit unsolicited for things you care about, especially locally, and theyll start rewarding you for it." its easy to forget in artist-dominated spaces that you have a relatively rare and highly desirable skill but non-artsy people will legit think youre some kind of wizard

[chantalim]

Here's the link to help out.

Donate to Help Chantal Escape Domestic Abuse, organized by Chantal Imerti

Hi I'm Chantal. I'm an artist from NYC and for the past 12 years I have been in a … Chantal Imerti needs your support for Help Chantal Esc

[insidestory1]

When you tell someone about being mistreated because of your disability, there is a common response that goes something along the lines of, "But did you explain to them properly why you can't do x thing?" "Did you make sure they understood why you need x accomodation?" "Maybe they just didn't understand?"

For example: "Did you properly explain that the reason you don't do hugs is because of your autism?" or "Maybe they don't really understand how bad fibro fatigue is and that's why they got upset at you for concelling plans."

I hate these kind of responses. They give me the same vibe as being asked, "Yeah, but what were you wearing when you got catcalled?" They put the responsability for the problem onto the person who was discriminated against, instead of the one doing the discriminating. Disabled people should not be expected to go through grueling explanations or justify their needs before those needs are respected.

[asexual-amanita]

Yes, some disabilities are dynamic, and most of us in the disability community know this. However many people aren’t aware of just how dynamic some conditions can be.

A person can go from no symptoms at all to being profoundly debilitated all in one day.

Some have baseline symptoms so low and flares so high, that things can go from 1 to 10 very quickly.

I know it can seem impossible that some people’s disabilities fluctuate with such extreme variability, but this is a real phenomenon that people deal with.

[purpledragonraccoon]

warm take: just because a animal is invasive does not mean you can make it suffer

and example being this

[maxxie-or-smth]

everything is getting worse and thats why it's SO so important that we have fun and hang out and play and im being serious im being unimaginable amounts of serious

[zmpl]

the concept of cognitive distortions are so fun to look back on from an anti-psych perspective because we really are just teaching people in distress to police their own thoughts and categorize their Incorrect Thoughts into cutesy little boxes. the entire practice of CBT is just. policing the way people think about the situations they’re in. smiles!

[purplesaline]

CBT isn't an inherently bad therapeutic approach. Used as one tool among many it can be incredibly effective in fact. The problem we're seeing is that many therapists use it almost exclusively when it's most effective in a supportive role.

It's less about policing uour thoughts (acab) and more about helping you think from many different perspectives and through different filters. It encourages us to reach past our knee-jerk reactions to things and reframe how we think about those situations.

For example:

You're texting with a friend and it's a pretty serious and emotional conversation. You disclose something really personal and they leave you on read.

Lots of us would initially assume they're judging us or thay we pushed them away or something else that would negatively impact our mental well-being. CBT encourages us to think of other alternatives to explain what happened that we would consider reasonable or understandable, things that wouldn't negatively impact our mental well-being. For instance maybe they dropped their phone when they went to respond and it shattered and they're not near any alternative means of communication to let us know.

CBT isn't the devil and it's important to remember that. It's simply a useful tool being misapplied, misused, and mishandled by a myopic contingent of mental health professionals

[bebsi-cola]

i feel like people still think accessibility and accommodation are favours bestowed upon others and not like a collective responsibility of everyone in society

[chamxmxle]

Reminder: if your partner safewords for any reason, first you stop, and then you thank them. You ask if they are okay, and you let them know they did a good job.

[chamxmxle]

I wrote this after someone replied, "why?" to a safeword, by the way. Don't do that.

[avpdhaunt]

jobs for people who cant do or handle anything