Nolan didnât want to do this, but he knew he would have to. There was a part of him that wished he could continue to focus on the food, to drown her out until maybe one day he could admit the true humility of the situation with her. He nodded silently as she accepted his invitation for lunch, as if everything was okay, hoping that perhaps she was just here to continue on as if nothing happened. It was wrong, he knew that, to think like he was, but Nolan had enough on his plate as it was â couldnât they just pretend it was some nice dream and move on?
His eyes glanced over at her as she approached, tone awfully light for someone who he had been actively avoiding. As she mentioned the ring though, he felt himself tense, his eyes flashing to the stone on her finger and stirring momentarily ceasing, although the spoon stayed in his hand. He listened along, his eyes staying on the ring though as his mouth slanted. Nolan could feel the guilt creeping up his skin, as if to suffocate him. He eyed her wearily when she said she decided, finally making eye contact with her once again, clearly a little on edge about what she was going to say. Was this a breakup? Would she have agreed to stay if it was?
At the words, he felt himself dizzy as she whispered and then passed by so suddenly, his body turning to where she had gone and the spoon going to the counter as he faced her. His jaw slacked slightly, swallowing in as he tried to regain some of his confidence. âI do want you,â he said finally, choking it out like a child as his arms crossed over his chest. Looking to the floor, it was clear he was hesitating on the next statement, uncomfortable at saying whatever it was. âIâve always wanted you, Iââ he sighed, looking back up and shrugging, âIâm just having a hard time, Molly. Everything is weighing on me. Iâm sorry I havenât called or anythingâŚI just donât know what to say.â he licked over his lips, expression solemn.Â
Finally though, he nodded, âIf you want to keep the ring on, if you want to stay togetherâŚI want to do whatever you want to do because I want whatever will make you happy.â
So far, so good. Her dignity was still intact and she could probably get through this without crying or sounding desperate or whatever. Heâd probably say he needed space, that everything had happened way too quickly, that he had only said that stuff because theyâd thought she was pregnant, that he hoped they could still be friends, that heâd understand if she didnât want to do Mystery Inc anymore. All he had to do was say it. God, why wasnât he saying something?Â
Molly bit her lip, staring into the cabinets as though there was something fascinating about the plates. When he finally spoke, Mollyâs head snapped to him, her eyes widened. Thereâd been no shortage of declarations of love between them since they got together, but this was the first time it had been strained. He was in love, yes, but lately it was stressing him out.Â
And Molly knew why. Her little Christmas surprise had prompted Nolan to think of changes that Molly never would have guessed. Changes like getting married and moving to Montana, changes like stopping the drinking and being whatever Molly and the baby needed him to be. And he hadnât been relieved in the doctorâs office, or mildly disappointed. Heâd been shocked and crushed. He wasnât going to change his life just because he had to, God, heâd wanted it. She was trying not to feel guiltyââfor not having an unplanned pregnancy of all thingsââbut come on, there was a correlation between the doctorâs visit and him getting suspended.Â
âNolan,â she said, crossing the kitchen to pull him into her arms. âOh my god I love you so much. Itâs okay,â she said, grinning up at him, and she was really going to get through today without crying. âWeâre okay. Can we try something though? When stuff weighs on you, will you let me comfort you? Even if you donât know what to say?â Especially if you donât know what to say, she thought. She hadnât brought up his suspension, and probably wouldnât. Itâs not like she never kept things from him. There were things about her time with Josie that she still hadnât told him, and probably never would.Â
âWill you do that?â she asked, leaning up to kiss him. Leaving her mark on his cheek.