heart vs head

Life has been some combination of fairy-tale coincidence and joie de vivre and shocks of beauty together with some hurtful self questioning.

[mollysbees]

Watching Blur and Taylor Swift at Hyde Park festival was a highlight of my summer in London

[mollysbees]

I love finding hidden pubs on London streets. The Scolt Head has an excellent beer garden

[corneliapornelia-blog]

She’s a fighter

[neil-gaiman]

Dear Neil, I am a horrible person. How to be kinder, please?

Sometimes I suspect we are all horrible people. Or at least, we are human people. Same thing. We are impatient, judgmental, irritating and irritated, grumpy, easily offended and the rest of it.

So how to be kinder if it doesn’t come naturally? 

Fake it. 

Fake it a little bit at a time. 

Because there isn’t actually any difference between doing something nice for someone because you are naturally saintly and perfect, and doing something nice for someone because you are secretly demonic and trying to cover it up. It’s still an act of kindness either way, and you still made their lives better.

Smile at people. Say hullo. Ask about their lives. Remember what they’ve told you about their lives. Do small things to try and help them. (They will not know you are horrible, do not worry. They will just perceive that you are helping.)

Give people the benefit of the doubt. Remember that it’s more often stupidity to blame than evil, that everyone can screw up (including you) and what’s important is learning from that.

Think “What would an actually kind person do now?” – and do that. Don’t beat yourself up when you fail. Just be as kind to yourself as you will be to others – even if you have to fake that.

And good luck.

[mollysbees]

A Study In Molly. Part One: What is Molly's job title?

From the first moment we met her, Molly Hooper stole a little piece of my heart. By the end of Series 3, Molly Hooper won a permanent place in my fictional heroine gallery, right up there alongside other inspirational women like Buffy Summers, Liesel Meminger and Katniss Everdeen. You know…the characters you think about, in times of trouble, where you ask for guidance: What would they do?

In this two-part meta A Study in Molly I explore all the reasons why Molly should be your hero too.

Read More

[brightstartheory]

Dealing with strong, painful emotions can be overwhelming and even lead to thoughts that your situation is so unfixable that the only way out is suicide. That is NOT true nor the case and every situation is either fixable or something you CAN get through. But when you’re in a high-stress emotional state, we can no longer think logically and do what we can to help ourselves. So the first thing we must do is get ourselves calm down enough to be able to use a coping skill.

* Breathing out longer than you breathe in actually activates your parasympathetic nervous system!

Anxiety is your sympathetic nervous system (“fight or flight”) setting off all the alarms, while breathing like this will set the parasympathetic system (“rest and digest”) into action shutting off the alarms and settling your nerves.

Other things that help: laughing, checking out what’s going on around you (moving head and eyes to orient to your surroundings), getting curious about something. (via notyrqueer)

Note: if you have any medication for anxiety that you are prescribed to take in high stress situations (as opposed to a set time and dosage you do every day on a routine) and you have not reached your maximum prescribed dosage, this might be a good time to take it. But only if you need it.

—-

Once you’ve gotten yourself into a calmer state, we can start to use what’s called our wise mind. Basically we have our emotional mind (which I’m sure we’re all quite familiar with) and our logical or rational mind. Wise mindis the idea that neither one nor the other, but both of these combined is the best way to think about what to do and how to react. If we just used our emotional mind, we’ll get lost in our pain. If we only use our logical mind, we’ll be invalidating our emotions and ignoring that those are important and valid and must be included in how you choose to respond or see a situation. So when you use your wise mind, you can make a more balanced decision.

Learn more about wise mind here, here, and here.

—

** Once you are able to be a bit more calm and use your wise mind, you should do what you can to ease whatever it is that is upsetting you. First ask yourself, “Is this the right time to deal with this?” For example, do you need to go to sleep soon so you are fully rested? Would doing so disturb others around you (like doing loud activities while others are sleeping)? Would it negatively affect you to do this right now (the person who is angry is still angry and needs space)? If after consider if it really is the right time to do this right now, and you think it is, then it’s time to fix the problem.

Is it homework? Start working on it. Procrastination will only increase the anxiety as it puts more and more pressure on you the less time you have. (Remember to breathe.) Is it chores? Go get them done. Is it a problem with a friend or loved one? If they are open to talking about it at this time, try that. (There could be a whole post on relationship effectiveness but you can find some information here and here.) Is it making some phone calls? Get them done. 

Note: It is entirely okay to ask for help if these things are too overwhelming to do alone. Ask a trusted friend or family member to either sit with you while you make a call, for example, so you can look to them if you need to know what to say or for reassurance that you’re doing okay. Maybe have someone sit near you while you do homework so you know you’re safe. If you can, have someone work through it with you to lessen the load.

—-

† If the problem can’t be fixed right this minute, or it is not the right time to do it, then do what you can to prepare yourself. One way you can do this is through radical acceptance. That means to accept your situation as it is, that you cannot change it right now, and you will have to deal with it. With radical acceptance, you can look at what’s in front of you and really give yourself the ability to problem solve. If you focus too much on what life should be like, or what should have happened instead, or what you or someone else should have done, then you are not looking at the problem in front of you. You are trying to change the past so that it’s not a problem anymore. But the fact is that it is, and it’s upsetting you, so you have to accept that it is happening so that you can do something about it. 

Learn more about radical acceptance here and here.

—-

‡ If there is nothing you can do right now, then it’s time to focus on what we can do, which is to improve the moment and make “right now” better. The way we do this is to use a coping skill. This means choosing to do activities or actions that make you feel better either by soothing yourself through the senses, being kind to yourself, doing something that can affect the mind through the body (like exercise or calming tea), or distracting yourself. There is more to it than that, but for right now, pick through the list below and choose a few that might help you and remember them. (Maybe keep a journal of things that end up helping you so you can refer back to it in a high emotional state.)

Listen to music

Go for a walk

Take a relaxing bath or shower

Drink some tea

Deep breathing (5 counts in, 5 counts out)

Call/text a friend

Meditate

Stretch

Think about something you are grateful for

Make a list of things you are grateful for

Watch a funny video

Eat your favorite snack while savoring the flavors

Take a nap

Journal (write your thoughts/feelings) …. 

Click here to see the rest of the list.

  —-

I know sometimes it can feel like coping skills won’t help and that because they’re not fixing the event that originally caused the distress, but remember that you can’t think about how to deal with a situation properly when you are solely in your emotional mind. It cuts off your ability to reason fully. So if you can find a way to make yourself feel better, not only will it make it easier to handle the situation at hand, but you being happy is important. You are important. You really deserve to be happy and nothing is unfixable. There are steps you can take to feel better. You just have to give it a try.

Note: This post and the information and links provided are not a replacement for real, medical treatment. Please do not stop taking your medication or change your dosage without your doctor’s consent or knowledge.

If you are suicidal or thinking about harming yourself please call 911 or call the National Suicidal Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. (U.S. only. To find the suicidal hotline for your country, click here.)

[healingschemas-deactivated20201]

DBT Self-Help Resources: Coping with Extreme Emotions

[powerfulwitch]

Tbh this is basically all you learn in rehab and psych wards And in some cases it’s more…

[loudest-subtext-in-television-d]

i understand if you don't have the time or energy to answer but i thought i'd ask. how do you keep your patience and resolve up? I run a blog for queer meta, support, and interpretations stanning for a legit queer reading of a popular character in an incredibly homophobic fandom (Daryl Dixon in The Walking Dead) and the amount of hate that my friends and i get can be truly daunting at times. we've all been driven offline or to tears at points. got any advice for keeping our chins up?

I’m really sorry to hear you’re having to deal with that! I’m not sure if I’m the best person to ask because while I do get a lot of hate, it doesn’t effect me. Like, to the extent that people think I’m weird, because part of me finds it hilarious and actually likes it.

I can explain why it doesn’t effect me, and maybe that will help some, but it’s the sort of thing I suspect is easy to understand but harder to internalize. Emotional stuff tends to be that way. So I’ll do my best, just accept that if you’re bothered by it right now, you’ll probably be bothered by it for quite a while as it gradually… stops bothering you so much, I guess. Unless I fail entirely in helping you, which is a possibility!

So… thinking on it, a lot of things factor in to why haters don’t bother me, and I’m just gonna have to throw them all out there in no particular order.

Read More

[wsswatson]

Hi, everyone!

As some of you know, Brit (tumblr user sumatrastreet) and I have been best friends for a long time, but in over a year of knowing each other, we’ve never been able to meet in person. During Christmas break, she has an opportunity to visit me! The problem is that we live about 4,400 miles apart and it will cost her around $1,500 to fly here and back, which, since we’re both university students, isn’t a price we can realistically afford without assistance!

I know that I have some amazing followers and that people have been able to meet their friends because of the generosity of people on tumblr before, so we decided that appealing to our collective following was worth a try!

To donate, please click here or, if that doesn’t work, on the donate button in the top left hand corner of my blog or Brit’s. Alternatively, send your money directly to the following address through PayPal: [email protected]

Whatever you can spare, even if it’s just $1, will be so appreciated! However, since we’re looking to raise a large sum, we decided to throw in some rewards to say thank you to the people who help us out.

If you donate $1, I will give you a solo text post promo to 20,000+ followers.

If you donate $5, I will give you a solo promo to 20,000+ followers with a simple url graphic like this.

If you donate $10, I will give you a solo promo with a simple url graphic plus a simple graphic of your favourite celebrity, ship or character like this, this or this, OR a solo promo with a simple url graphic plus a picspam like this, this or this (any character/ship/fic/AUyou want providing I’m familiar with the source material).

If you donate $15, I will give you a solo promo with a simple url graphic plus a simple graphic or picspam, plus myself or Brit​ will write you a ficlet up to 1,000 words long. You can see examples of my writing here (more to be uploaded soon) and examples of Brit’s are available on request! If you would prefer a poem to a fic, I will also write those (length will depend on what style I think is suitable for the prompt you send me). This can, again, be for any ship and with any prompt that you like, but we will obviously write better for ships we ship! Ask, and we’ll let you know what we can do!

If you donate $20, I will give you a solo promo with a simple url graphic or picspam, plus myself or Brit will write you a ficlet between 1,000 and 2,500 words long/I will write you a poem. Also, if you are writing a fic, I will put my in-progress degree in English literature and creative writing to use and beta your fic for you (the fic’s final length must be 50,000 words or under)!

If you donate $25, I will give you all of the above (including both a graphic and a picspam), PLUS any other (reasonable) favours! Examples of favours include: promoting your art, promoting your fic, personalised advice on how to reach a wider audience with your blog and/ora meta discussion (send me a link to your analysis of any of the shows I watch, I’ll respond and we can get a conversation going [you can see my meta here]!), but I’m open to any suggestions! I will also send you a personal letter of thanks (I will send these anywhere in the world, but you must be comfortable with giving me your address!).

If you donate $50, you can have all of the above and you can join me and Brit in Regent’s Park (the park closest to Baker Street) during her stay so that we can thank you in person and discuss all things Sherlock! From there, I will take you on a tour of Sherlock’s London to see the Sherlock Holmes Museum, North Gower Street (the exterior shooting location for Baker Street and home of Speedy’s), St. Bart’s, Soho (home of Tapas Brindisa (Angelo’s) and the location of the cab chase scene in ASiP), and, if we have time, any other London shooting locations. I will also throw in a glossy print of any of the following posters from the BBC shop:

We’ll also be hosting a tinychat once we’ve reached our goal for everyone who donated so that we can thank you!

BONUS REWARDS:

Some of my lovely friends have been kind enough to offer bonus rewards for the first people to donate!

10 people who donate at least $5 can have a sketch of a single character by Rory justaholmesboy like this one!

10 people who donate at least $10 can have a coloured sketch of a single character by Rory justaholmesboy like this one!

You can see more of Rory’s work here and his commission information here and buy original pieces from him here!

4 people who donate at least $10 can have a coloured drawing by Selina paralyticbitterness like this one!

You can see more of Selina’s work here!

25 people who donate at least $10 can have a graphic or chibi drawing by Ando thecumbercollective like this one and this one!

You can see more of Ando’s work here and here and his commission information here!

4 people who donate at least $15 can have a sketch by Belly orcabelly like this one!

You can see more of Belly’s work here and xer commission information here!

I will try to keep this post updated and announce when each reward has all its slots filled!

If anyone else would like to donate rewards, please let me know - we would be immensely grateful!!

To claim a reward, please submit a screenshot of the confirmation screen on PayPal to me, along with specifications of what you would like. Please be as specific as you can, as it will save me time and ensure that you get something that you’re (hopefully) happy with! If you would like to claim a bonus rewards (please note that bonus rewards are limited to one per person), please tell me what you are interested in and I will confirm or deny availability. If there is availability, you are then free to message the artist with your specifications (I will also message them to confirm that your request is legitimate). If there is not, you are free to pick from any other available offers.

We are classing donations in dollar brackets because that’s the currency with which Brit will be buying her ticket, but donations can be made regardless of your native currency - PayPal will convert it for you!

If you can’t donate, please reblog this post - the more people see this, the more donations we will hopefully receive!

Thank you so much to everyone who has and does help out - you can’t imagine how much we appreciate it!

Brontë & Brit xxx

[skulls-and-tea]

[johnlocklives]

skulls-and-tea:

Those horns.

I feel like this needs to be talked about.

OH MY GOD I HAVE NEVER NOTICED THOSE ON JANINE

[cantpronouncefromtivoli]

Also this

[skulls-and-tea]

Oops, my old tumblr name got deleted. That’s from here.

The interesting thing about Janine’s horns is that she gets them right as she moves in front of John, with his face like so: 

Janine’s physically stepping in and taking John’s place in the frame.

Then: the horns.

Also, that expression on John? It’s only allowed on screen for a split second, and it’s one I don’t think we’ve seen before. It seems incredibly vulnerable.

And right as the camera cuts to him, he’s releasing his left hand from a very familiar little clench.

[the-music-is-everywhere]

Does this remind any one else of Darcy’s hand clench thing whenever he touches Elizabeth??

[skulls-and-tea]

You mean Mr. Darcy from 2005’s take on Pride and Prejudice?

Hmm. Well:

"I did find myself clenching my hands quite often. I had this secret: I thought that in Darcy’s encounters with Lizzie, whenever she gets at him, really hits him with a sort of verbal body blow, he couldn’t react right then. He’d be totally infuriated. But it would tickle him so much”.

— Matthew Macfayden

"The difference between the Darcy we see outside and at Pemberley is best suggested by the hand spasm sequences. The hand scenes have been added to the story — close-shots of Darcy’s hand have been included in the film to show the hero’s emotion. […]

The second time he does not clench his fist, which implies that he has come to terms with his feelings. He is yet unable to express his feelings as the dialogue between the two reveals […]

Though it may seem unusual to invest so much into such a little motion, concentrating on little actions such as the movement of the hand “allows the audience an enriched and rather unabashed view of the characters and their ability or inability to convey [emotions] outwardly (within the realm of appropriateness, considering the era’s social codes).” [x]

[mollysbees]

GET ME A SHOCK BLANKET

[larmoyante]

If you’ve been up all night and cried till you have no more tears left in you - you will know that there comes in the end a sort of quietness. You feel as if nothing was ever going to happen again.

C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe  (via hiddlesluscious)

[sfrishberg-deactivated20190623]

[aviculor]

important psa about buns

[maitaijulie]

We raised rabbits when I was a child and my sister gave a rabbit a bath (she was 5) and it died..so heed this instruction.

[amazingatheist]

I wasn’t going to reblog this, but then I realized I might save a rabbit.

[shelbytaylorexists]

This is important guys. If your rabbit gets into something gnarly and you HAVE to bathe them: 1. Fill a bowl with warm water. 2. Get a washcloth. Put it in the water. Squeeze it out until it is just damn.  3. Lightly scrub the dirty area on your bun. 4. That is it. DO NOT get your bun wet. Only slightly damp on the part that was dirty.  (source)

[ghostlygossamer]

VERY IMPORTANT! SAVE A BUNS LIFE!

[mypasteluniverse]

Do not bathe your bun!!!!

[theprophetchuck]

Everyone saying bun omg

[2cajuman2]

This Tumblr, is a picture of me with Louise Brealey. She plays Molly Hooper in Sherlock and I have been a fan of hers since 2002 when she was in Casualty.

She is so lovely! A bit surprised at me appearing out of thin air behind her and asking for an autograph and her favourite cheese… But charming and lovely! =)

[finalproblem]

WARNING: POTENTIAL SPOILER FOR SHERLOCK SERIES 3

BECAUSE HA HA HA HA HA OMG THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY FOR NEW REICHENBACH INFORMATION.

Except it’s not really new. It’s a year old. But I guess nobody realized what it meant at the time, and nobody’s remembered it since. (I wasn’t here a year ago, so this is the first I’m seeing of this.)

Look at that picture up there. LOOK AT IT.

It’s Louise Brealey in the same clothes she wore as Molly Hooper in The Reichenbach Fall.

The picture was taken in front of the Smithfield Ambulance Station, aka the small building outside St. Bart’s Sherlock made John stand behind during the fall.

[^ source: Google Maps]

So Molly was at St. Bart’s. So what?

Well, it’s a pretty big deal because they don’t film the interiors of St. Bart’s for the show at the real St. Bart’s. The lab we saw Molly in during Reichenbach was actually in Cardiff.

Unless someone wants to prove that the hallway shot

in Reichenbach was filmed at the real St. Bart’s AND argue that they dragged Louise over there just for that, I think we’ve got a little spoiler on our hands here.

Steven Moffat:

We’ve worked out how Sherlock survives, and actually shot part of what really happened.

They’ve already filmed part of how Sherlock survived

+

A picture of Louise as Molly in Reichenbach costume at St. Bart’s when she had no reason to be there based on her appearance in exclusively interior shots in Reichenbach

=

To me, it looks very, very much like Molly was in the footage that shows how Sherlock survived. And whatever her involvement in that part was, it was something that happened in an exterior shot.

I know this may not seem like a huge deal since most of us assumed Molly was involved. But if you think about it, it may really narrow down the possibilities when it comes to exactly how Molly could’ve been involved and what she would’ve seen or known.

I AM IN LOVE WITH TONIGHT

[thetwogaydetectives-deactivated]

In series 1 they kept the subtext more subtle. It was harder to notice if you didn’t know what you were looking for, or you hadn’t been trained to see past the heteronormative lens. They did use homoerotic tropes, homosexual references, and clear sexual tension, but...

[elyel]

Lets clear this out! 

Yes, we are the couple from the cat pic, but that story is fake! we didnt wrote it! Fortunately the real story is much more happy. Thats why we decided to upload a photo from our families together, our parents and our sisters! We have supportive families that love us and acept us. Is important to us that you share the real story behind this photo because is much more powerful and positive the true story, and we like to spred the positive message that everything always turn out just fine! you dont have to hide this from your family, they just need time to understand. The soon you tell them the soon you stop suffering and the aceptation process begin.  Love to all of our followers and please share the real story and the positive message that we want to spred! ElYEl Aclaremos esto!  Si! Somos nosotros los de la foto del gato pero esa historia no es real, nosotros no la escribimos! Afortunadamente la historia real es mucho mas feliz. Es por eso que decidimos subir esta foto de nuestras familias juntos, nuestros padres y hermanas. Tenemos familias que nos apoyan y nos aceptan. Es importante para nosotros que compartas la historia real detrás de esa foto porque es mucho mas poderosa y positiva que la falsa, y queremos esparcir el mensaje positivo de que todo siempre termina saliendo bien! No tenes q esconderles esto a tu familia, ellos solo necesitan tiempo para entenderlo. Mientras mas rápido se los digas mas rápido vas a dejar de sufrir y el proceso de aceptación va a comenzar mas rápido.  Cariños a todos nuestros seguidores y por favor compartan la historia real y el mensaje positivo que queremos esparcir! ElyEl

[insouciantly-curious]

SIGNAL BOOST

[alexandra-erin]

Reducing an out of context picture of strangers to inspiration porn is so dehumanizing.

[sarazarr-deactivated20160519]

Oh internet you are so full of dark and light I just don’t even know what to make of you sometimes!

[strawberriesandpeaches-blog1]

The scene removed from A Study In Pink that I FUCKING WISH WAS STILL IN IT OMG

MOFFAT HOW COULD YOU WRITE THIS AND NOT INCLUDE IT OH GOD

[don-gately-deactivated20150623]

SERIOUSLY

[hellooteapots-deactivated201905]

God if this was Sherlock’s emotional state just before he met John I mean … damn. That explains a lot.

[bex-la]

But what if one day, John is looking in Sherlock ‘s room, because he’s been acting strange lately and he’s worried that Sherlock relapsed. And as he’s searching the room for drugs he finds a book he’s never seen before. It’s old, worn, the pages yellowed and the ink practicality...

[mollysbees]

More more more