soft disaster bi @mondfahrt - Tumblr Blog

Lilith casting sleep

#our vampiric wizard is sooooo coooool #i love her <3 #saving this here so I can track my progress bc apparently I’ve been drawing on my iPad for about a year now #also i tried to animate the music and…… did not go well #procreate hates me #i accidentally deleted a few layers oops #dungeons and drag gang #*

vomitdodger

ekjohnston

David from Accounting had to know. He was like "this is my chance, and I am going to take it", didn't reply, and then showed up to make friends. Intergenerational friends are really important! For reasons both practical and...spiritual. David from Accounting is your gift, Anthony. Cherish him.

dyk-this-musical-song

Visit Original Link

Do you know this TV Show Song? #21

I know the song and the show

I know the song but not the show

I know the show but not the song

I may know this

I have never heard this

Remaining time: 5 days 15 hours

#beloveeeeeeed 💖💖💖💖💖

the-quasar-hero

Bro, be honest, are you getting a little bit Genghis Khan?

moghedien

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

moghedien

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

#i mean #sure #i love you aldi

shortgaything

QUICK. RB THIS WITH THE FIRST SONG LYRIC THAT COMES TO YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU SEE THIS POST. THAT IS AN ORDER

#joel hat von gestern nacht fast alle seine sachen mitgebracht #er hat sich gegen kurz vor acht auf den weg nach haus gemacht #joel steht jetzt in der tür. kommt in die küche kommt zu mir #ich frag joel wie war die nacht was ist denn los ey fehlt dir was #ich hab heut nacht mein herz verloren und jetzt bin ich innen ohne #es hängt noch voll auf droge in der berghain garderobe

dyk-this-musical-song

Visit Original Link

Do you know this Musical Song? #269

I know the song and the musical

I know the song but not the musical

I know the musical but not the song

I may know this

I have never heard this

Remaining time: 1 day 15 hours

mcmansionhell

mcmodernslopcore

Howdy, howdy, folks.

For many years (ten now, about which, more soon) McMansion Hell has featured many prominent and diverse atrocities from all over these great United States and sometimes beyond them. However, most of these posts have consisted of houses built during the McMansion Era proper -- from the 80s up through around the early 2010s.

This is for a number of reasons. First of all: I like these houses because they are insane. Second of all, they are indeed quite different from one another -- they represent the owner's idiosyncratic if poorly rendered desires and fantasies. They are heavily psychologically loaded buildings. One family dreams endlessly of Tuscany, another wants to recreate the mall. All interiorize previously exterior forms of consumption.

These houses were also very expensive to build compared to their contemporary iterations: all real, solid wood cabinetry and trim, wrought iron railings, marble floors, elaborate murals - none of this is cheap. This is not to say that I'm nostalgic for the classical McMansion (though many are) only that it, like, most other facets of architectural and everyday life, have become progressively cheaper and more bland.

The McMansion never truly goes away. It merely changes shape over time. One of the shapes it currently takes is a particularly loathsome imitation of contemporary high architecture (specifically the kind of houses architects love to build for celebrities in California) executed in the most wretchedly parsimonious manner possible. It feels cheap to use the word 'slop' but their indiscriminate nature - the way they have no regard for why or how the things they imitate even work - allows it. Of all the building forms that could be generated with AI, this is the most likely. At any rate, behold:

Yes this is a real house. Yes you can buy it for $6 million in, yet again, Barrington, IL. It has 5 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms totaling 11,600 square feet. But most importantly, it looks like dogshit. Ten layers of Photoshop have been used to gussy it up which makes it appear entirely ersatz. Were it not for the interiors, I myself would have trouble trusting my own eyes. Part of the reason it looks so unreal is because the design itself is absurd, as though someone created four equally ugly vessels and threw them up one by one.

In 2017, in a now-deleted essay for Curbed (RIP - they destroyed the archive) I called these types of houses McModerns, simply because they were McMansions dressed up in modernist garb, which they wore no differently than they would Neo-Tudor or Mediterranean (broadly construed.) These houses don't warrant a new neologism, but they do feel like a degraded or perhaps even gonzo version of even that old concept. Slop works fine too, especially because half of what's in these images isn't real.

Much fascinates me about these houses, however one of the most unique elements vis a vis the last 30 years of building is how overtly and almost hostilely masculine they are. Anything that can be construed as feminized - color, softness, ornament - has been ruthlessly purged. They also rip off tech industry minimalism which only ads to their bro-ey nature. While previous iterations of McModernism (think new builds in Colorado with fake wood exteriors) scream dads with IPAs, these houses scream Reddit to me. They are Elon Musk-adjacent in sentiment.

By the way, this is what that room looks like without the fake furniture. It's basically a sunroom.

Whole Foods would like to call in a robbery.

Because these houses are designed by men, for men, no one involved has learned how a kitchen works. Many are calling this setup the "grindset tiktok video kitchen." This is the kitchen you see in those day in the life of an AI startup founder videos your algorithm forces you to watch against your will.

Virtual staging is actual literal slop. In fact, one can say that they were one of the first iterations of the ontological crisis we now face, one of the first instances where one is forced against one's will to question reality, what one sees with one's own eyes. Beyond that, I think virtual staging is literally a form of lying. You can use it to make a space look bigger or smaller than it is. In this it also has a lot in common with AI. This dining room has nothing to do with the world I'm living in. These chairs are not my problem.

It's actually AMAZING how much of what's in this house, beyond the furniture, is fake. Every single material is fake. The stone is aluminum paneling. The plants are plastic. The concrete is printed on some kind of surface (as evidenced through its repetitive pattern), though it's hard to say from just pictures. I don't even trust the floors!!

Ok if you haven't read Kelly Pendegrast's amazing essay "Merchandizing the Void" about how houses are all like stores now, HERE IS THE LINK. Some ideas never die, they just evolve, king. Like you.

Please, I'm very cold.

Unfortunately there are no pictures of the rear exterior of this house, so this is where we will have to conclude for today. That being said, these houses and their antecedents are developing a design language all their own that will, in time, be as culturally rich to us as the houses of yore. The problem is they are less visually interesting. They are houses made to scroll in and scroll right by. Expect to see more of them here, but only if they have something, anything to say.

If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams. (Don’t worry! This doesn’t adjust for inflation! Now’s the perfect time to join!) By the way: new subscribers can buy a year of McMansion Hell for just $12!

Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar! (I would seriously appreciate any and all tips because I am in the process of moving house!)

rosslynpaladin

This house is a cybertruck

elodieunderglass

I know it isn’t comparable in any way, but for $12 million USD, or £9 million, you could get…. A beautiful 18-bedroom castle with a beach, an operational farm, houses, shops, and businesses on a delightful island in Scotland.

Property details for Glengorm. One of many properties for sale in Tobermory, Isle of Mull, Argyll and Bute, PA75 6QE from Savills, world lea

Like. For the price. For the price!!!!! For that price,,

#makes me consider doing a class on mcmansions #that would be sooooo funny

sergal

everyone shut da fuck up this is the only thing that matters

sergal

Oh My God Damn

frog-thief

becausebirds

A perfect duet.

thehotgirlproject

You will never escape this video as long as I am alive.

thehotgirlproject

Happy 10 years of never letting you escape this video!

thehotgirlproject

I FOUND THE SONG!!

Only took me 10 years!

Musician: Martin Chiang

Instrument: Dulcian

Song: Giovanni Antonio Bertoli - Sonata Prima

tsarisfanfiction

Origin (Tales From The Heart)

Fandom: One Piece Rating: Gen Warnings: None Characters: Law, Franky

With the absence of one Monkey D. Luffy, Law had hoped that he would be at last permitted some peace and quiet, especially as he was now on board his own ship and therefore the captain in charge (while ‘alliance’ meant the captains were on equal terms, it was difficult not to feel on the back foot on board the Thousand Sunny, especially as her captain didn’t follow traditional alliance rules anyway). He still had four of the Straw Hats with him, but in the grand scheme of things he thought peace and quiet still wasn’t too much to ask for; Zoro-ya and Nico-ya preferred keeping their mouths shut anyway, Nose-ya was still terrified of him and Robo-ya…

Well, Robo-ya was turning out to be the problem. Law chided himself for not realising that the shipwright, who had built both the Thousand Sunny and its personal submarine, would be incredibly interested in the Polar Tang, which was a far more superior specimen than the Shark Submerge (although Law would admit the quirky submarine was well built for its size and purpose). In the confined space, the cries of SUUUUUUPERRRR reverberated nauseatingly, and no amount of creativity employed by the Heart Pirates (Law included) to block their ears was even remotely successful. Irritatingly, the other Straw Hats seemed totally deaf to his cries.