Look who’s inside again

[monkoli]

i have a long hyper fixation on marauders

(back in a days it used to be a typical 2014 blog with aesthetics pics, but i deleted all posts. i was 13 and it was a little embarrassing to see it for the first time in years)

[ricochetyears]

i love the soft wolfstar headcanons but what about them suffering a situationship. what about that?!?!??!! bcs if we are going through that stage, they should've experienced that too lmaoo

oh they absolutely suffered through a situationship. wolfstar are pioneers of emotional confusion where they’ve somehow built an entire relationship without ever admitting that’s what it is.

they never actually decided to move in together. sirius just started leaving things at remus’ place: first a toothbrush, then a jacket, then suddenly half his records and a mug he refuses to let anyone else use. now sirius sleeps there most nights but if anyone asks he’s like “i just crash here sometimes.”

they do every domestic thing together. grocery shopping, laundry, arguing over what movie to watch. sirius always ends up half-asleep with his head on remus’ shoulder on the couch.

but the second someone asks “so are you two together?” sirius just shrugs and goes “we hang out”. meanwhile they share a bed, a grocery list, a coffee order, and the same set of house keys.

remus pretends he’s fine with that. he’s very good at pretending. he’ll make them dinner, sit between sirius’ legs while they watch movies, fall asleep with sirius tracing shapes on his arm. and in the morning he tells himself it’s casual. he tells himself he shouldn’t expect anything, because sirius never promised him anything.

so when sirius disappears for a weekend and comes back with a vague “was out with friends” and a different smell of cologne on his jacket, remus just nods and says “sounds fun.”

later that night sirius curls into him in bed like always, kissing his shoulder, and remus lets him because refusing would mean admitting this hurts.

sirius is the one who avoids the label but he’s also the one who gets jealous in the ugliest, quietest way. someone flirts with remus at a bar and suddenly sirius is cold, distant, barely speaking. when remus asks what’s wrong he just shrugs and says “nothing. you can do whatever you want”.

the problem is neither of them actually wants to do whatever they want. they just don’t know how to ask the other to stay.

sirius will show up to every single one of remus’ events. presentations, small gatherings, random things that no casual situation partner would care enough to attend. he just leans in the doorway afterward and goes you did good, like it’s obvious he’d be there.

sometimes the intimacy feels almost cruel. the way remus cups sirius’ face when they kiss, the way sirius whispers remus’ name during sex like it’s something sacred. and then afterward they still say that this doesn’t have to mean anything.

sirius calls remus when something good happens. he also calls him when something bad happens. he doesn’t even think about it anymore, remus is just the first person he reaches for.

they text each other constantly but it’s all dumb stuff. memes, “did you eat yet”, “come home soon”, “there’s a dog outside the café and he reminds me of you”.

the worst part is when sirius casually mentions going on a date with someone else. he never actually follows through most of the time, but remus still smiles and says “you should, they seemed nice”, and then spends the rest of the night staring at the ceiling.

meanwhile, like i’ve said already, sirius absolutely cannot stand when anyone flirts with remus. suddenly he’s draping an arm over remus’ shoulders, kissing his temple, acting territorial as hell. but if remus points it out sirius just goes “what? i’m allowed to be affectionate”.

sirius once says “my place” while talking to a coworker and then corrects himself to “remus’ place. well. i mean. the place i stay at sometimes.”

they have the kind of sex that feels a little too intimate for something undefined. slow, lingering, the kind where they talk in soft voices and don’t let go afterwards. sirius traces the scars on remus’ body, remus presses his face into sirius’ shoulder to hide the blush. neither of them mentions the fact that people who are “just sleeping together” usually don’t hold each other like that.

remus cooks dinner most nights and sirius hovers around the kitchen stealing bites and complaining about being “starved”. remus always makes a little extra automatically.

they sleep facing each other every time. sirius’ leg thrown over remus’, remus’ hand resting on sirius’ back. they also kiss in bed in the middle of the night when one of them wakes up and reaches for the other one without really thinking.

sometimes remus wakes up before sirius and just watches him sleep with this soft, complicated expression, trying very hard not to name the thing they are. sirius does the same thing, he just never lets remus catch him doing it.

sometimes sirius introduces him as “my remus” without thinking. then immediately corrects himself like it was a slip of the tongue. remus notices every single time.

they share a bed almost every night, but if someone asks where sirius lives he’ll say around. and if someone asks remus if he has a boyfriend he’ll say it’s complicated.

they’ve said “i love you” during sex more than once. quiet and breathless and buried against each other’s skin. afterward they both pretend they didn’t hear it.

their friends are exhausted. everyone else is like “you live together. you sleep together. you’re exclusive. you’re literally in love”, and sirius and remus are just sitting there like “well yeah but that doesn’t mean we’re together”.

they never actually define anything, which means technically they’re both free to leave at any time. that knowledge sits quietly in the room with them, especially on the nights when sirius is holding remus a little too tightly like he’s afraid that might actually happen.

one night they’re lying in bed, sirius half asleep with his arm around remus’ waist, and he mumbles “don’t ever leave, okay?”. remus says “wasn’t planning to”. neither of them says the word relationship but the silence around it is so loud it might as well be.

remus notices all the moments where sirius pulls back right before things get too real. like when remus once half-jokingly said “you basically live here”, and sirius immediately laughed and said “god, don’t say that, makes it sound serious”. remus laughed too, but later he went to the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror for a long time.

the first time remus actually goes on a real real date with someone else, sirius acts completely normal about it, even asks how it went, even makes a joke about remus finally having standards. remus smiles and answers every question calmly.

that night sirius barely touches him in bed, and somehow that hurts more than jealousy would’ve.

there are moments where it almost comes out. like once, after a long day, they’re tangled together on the couch and sirius murmurs “we’re good like this, aren’t we?” and remus knows sirius means please don’t ask for more, so he just says “yeah”.

sometimes remus imagines what it would feel like if sirius actually called him his boyfriend. just casually. like it wasn’t terrifying, like it wasn’t the most fragile thing in the world. but every time the thought gets too close he reminds himself that you can’t lose what you never had.

sometimes remus tries going a few days without texting first, just to see what happens. by the second day sirius shows up at his door with takeout like “you disappeared”.

remus notices sirius never actually brings anyone around. he talks about people sometimes, vague stories about parties or dates, but none of them ever become real enough to meet.

there’s one night where remus almost says “i wish you were mine”. it’s sitting right there on the tip of his tongue while they’re walking home together. instead he just says “thanks for being here tonight”. sirius answers quietly, “where else would i be?”

sirius is the type who gets soft and affectionate after being intimate. pulling remus close, pressing slow kisses to his shoulder, staying tangled together for hours. the kind of aftercare that feels suspiciously like love.

sometimes they’ll start laughing halfway through because they were literally arguing about something ten minutes earlier.

there’s a lot of eye contact. like… way too much eye contact for a situationship. sirius has this habit of holding remus’ face and just looking at him for a moment before kissing him again.

the conversations get dangerously close to emotional territory. sirius asking things like “do you ever think about leaving this city?” or “what do you want your life to look like in a few years?” and remus always thinks, are you in that future or not?

once, in the middle of it, sirius accidentally says “i want you to be—” and then stops abruptly like he just hit a fucking wall.

the confession happens after months, maybe years of the exact same routine. sirius staying over, remus pretending this is sustainable, both of them quietly miserable about it.

the breaking point is actually something stupid. someone asks remus if he’s single at a small gathering and sirius hears remus hesitate before saying “yeah”.

it shouldn’t bother him. technically it’s true. but sirius spends the rest of the night weirdly quiet, watching remus talk and laugh with other people like something is slowly sinking in his chest.

when they get home there’s this heavy silence in the apartment. neither of them quite looking at the other. remus finally sighs and goes “you’re being weird”. sirius laughs a little, but it’s sharp, and then he just blurts out, “you said you were single”.

remus stares at him because… what else was he supposed to say? he says, casually, “i am”, and that’s the moment everything cracks open. sirius is frustrated. the words are physically painful to get out. he says something like, “i just didn’t like hearing it.”

remus asks, “well, what would you prefer i said?” and there’s a long pause, but then sirius looks at him like he’s standing on the edge of something terrifying, and replies, “that you’re mine.”

the second the words leave his mouth he looks almost horrified with himself, like he expects remus to laugh or walk away or remind him that this isn’t what they agreed on, but remus kisses him before he even finishes that chain of restless thoughts.

the funniest part is that after the confession they both realize nothing about their actual behavior changes much. they were already spending nearly all their time together, already acting affectionate, already prioritizing each other. the only real difference is that now sirius casually calls remus his boyfriend and remus doesn’t have to pretend that word doesn’t mean everything to him.

they both agree the situationship phase was unnecessarily stressful and could’ve been avoided if either of them had communicated like normal people. neither of them admits how terrified they actually were of ruining what they had.

but every once in a while one of them will bring it up jokingly like “remember when we were pretending this wasn’t a relationship?” and they both cringe a little because… yeah. that was stupid af.

[sunny-therapy]

Wolfstar WIP. A little piece of something I’m drawing for a fic✨

[noitsnotacookiee]

so byler is ship of the year 🧍

[noitsnotacookiee]

sibling drawing lesson

based on

[cinnamontoastcrunch-15]

I cried while writing this so I'm sorry in advance <3

The reunion is startlingly unceremonious.

Like every other day, Sirius is in a rush. He's running late for work. Again. He's sure the Ministry would have sacked him by now if not for their history with him.

What's worse is that, in his panic, he apparated to the wrong place.

So he's running.

He apologises to the people who give him dirty looks as he tries to weave through the busy London streets, eyes fixed ahead. He's not particularly worried about getting in trouble, more so about giving Kingsley an aneurysm.

Then, he tries to squeeze through a gap between two particularly slow walkers, stumbling as he gets through, and-

Crashing straight into someone.

For a moment, he's just dazed by the sudden contact that forces him to stop moving. His eyes adjust as he spots a man looking down at his own torso, covered head to toe in what must have been his own coffee. Before Sirius has a chance to acknowledge that the crash was his fault, the man looks up.

Sirius' heart stops.

His eyes widen.

Everything around him fades away to nothing.

The man in front of him is older than Sirius remembered. Broader. His amber eyes hold something that they didn't hold before. He's got new scars across his face, arms covered in the way they had been when they were sixteen.

He's different but, somehow, exactly the same.

"Remus?"

Remus is looking at him with a similarly stunned expression, frozen as the world moves around them. Years of Sirius' life flash through his head in seconds, trapped in the face of the man who had been nothing but a ghost in his mind for years.

Remus doesn't say anything to him. He just... looks; the shocked expression stuck to his face.

It gives Sirius a chance to take him in, to remember that he's covered in coffee.

"Shit, bugger, I'm so sorry, fuck-"

Sirius' panic seems to snap Remus out of his own strange trance, blinking harshly.

Just like that, Sirius watches walls go up around Remus. He closes in on himself a little, shaking his head once before he looks up at Sirius.

"S'fine, don't worry."

His voice sends a shock wave through Sirius. The voice he had spent years hearing in his head; recalling every mannerism, every word he had said to him. Every compliment, every soft-spoken word, every shout has run through Sirius' mind for the better part of five years.

He sounds different now.

His voice is a little lower.

Or maybe Sirius is remembering wrong. There's no way for him to know, really.

For a moment, Sirius loses the ability to string a sentence together.

That is, until Remus goes to leave.

"Okay, er... I'll be- you- it was... good to see you," Remus lands on, before making to walk past Sirius.

"Wait!" The word tumbles from Sirius' mouth before he can help himself. Thankfully, it stops Remus in his tracks.

Now Sirius just needs something to say. Something to keep Remus here.

"I can buy you a coffee?" He tries.

Remus opens and closes his mouth once, looking down at his upturned cup sitting on the floor. Then at his soaked black jumper.

"...You seemed like you were in a hurry. I don't want to keep you."

"You're not," Sirius says quickly. "At all."

Sorry, Kingsley.

"You sure?"

"You don't have to," Sirius adds, "but I'd really like to."

Remus' eyes scan over Sirius' face for a moment, teeth worrying at his lower lip.

Merlin, Sirius has missed that.

"Yeah," Remus says eventually. "Okay."

Sirius' face brightens in an instant, glancing around for the nearest coffee shop in sight. Anywhere that gets them sat down and talking as quickly as possible.

Not that Sirius knows what he's going to say.

Still, he spots a small, cosy looking shop and all but runs there, glancing behind him to check that Remus is actually following.

By some miracle, they get to the coffee shop, situating themselves in a dingy little corner. Remus rests one hand against his mug, as Sirius looks down at the americano in front of Remus.

"Your coffee's different."

He doesn't mean for it to be the first thing he says, he just... can't help himself. Remus - sweet tooth, hot chocolate with all the trimmings Remus - is drinking black coffee.

"Oh." Remus glances down like he hadn't even noticed. "Yeah. Guess so."

They lapse into silence, and Sirius just... watches him. His eyes are practically glued to Remus, looking at his face, his brow slightly furrowed, his scarred hands nursing his cup, covered slightly by the sleeves of his jumper.

Everything Sirius wants to say - has wanted to say for years - is bubbling up inside of him. There's a mountain of questions, pleas, and apologies that he's been desperate to say. The problem is, they're all meshing together, crackling inside of him and getting stuck in his throat.

Sirius, just talk.

Fucking speak!

Say anything!

"How have you been?"

He flinches at himself the moment the words escape, only a fraction of the curiosities Sirius has held for the better part of the last five years.

"Er... yeah, I've been okay. You haven't left London, then?"

Sirius shakes his head, coffee untouched as he watches Remus.

"Haven't had a reason to."

They lapse into silence again, and Sirius can't help the words from falling out to fill the space.

"What about you? Where have you been?"

Remus just shrugs.

"Everywhere, really." Remus finally looks up, and something on Sirius' face pushes him to elaborate. "Went to North Wales for a bit, then Italy, then it was... Brazil, I think?" He looks up, thinking carefully. "Then Canada. Almost went to Japan, but the plan fell through before I got there."

"Never back here?"

"Haven't had a reason to," Remus echoes back to him, voice sharp. Sirius nods once, looking down uncomfortably.

Ah.

He knew it was going to come up eventually, but that doesn't stop it from stinging.

"What brings you back now, then?" Sirius asks. It comes out a little faster than he intended, but Remus doesn't seem to notice.

"Dad sold his flat. I'm helping him move out."

"Oh. So you're not... staying?" Sirius feels himself deflate a little and, clearly, Remus spots it too.

"Sirius..." Remus trails off, looking at Sirius a little helplessly. "I can't." His voice breaks, softening.

"Remus, I've never regretted anything more than-"

"I know, Sirius," Remus interjects. "I know you do, but... I just can't do it." Before Sirius can say anything else, Remus presses on. "Even being back for now is too- it's too fucking much."

"I'm so sorry," Sirius says, voice cracking as he tries to blink back the tears threatening him. "It's unforgivable, I know that, but I need you to know how sorry I am-"

"You all turned on me," Remus says suddenly, voice rough as tears well in his own eyes. "I was scared, and you all turned your backs on me. You just... decided I was capable of hurting all of you. Of trying to kill all of you, kill Harry. I had nobody, Sirius. Nobody."

"Remus-"

"I was glad to see that you lot won the war. That you caught Peter before it was too late." Remus takes a breath, looking down at his coffee. "But that doesn't undo what you did. I mean... Christ, I almost didn't survive that."

"I'm so sorry-"

"I know, and I appreciate that." He huffs an empty, hollow laugh. One that burrows through Sirius' ribcage and punctures him straight in the heart. "I mean, fuck, I understand." He gestures vaguely to himself with a shaking hand. "Dangerous creature, months on missions in Greyback's pack, wasn't telling you a thing..."

"You're not dangerous-"

"Maybe I wasn't," Remus says with a shrug. "Maybe I'm not. I don't think I'll ever know for sure, now." He looks up, face softening. "I think about you every day, Sirius. I'm glad you're doing well, but... I just can't be a part of your life anymore. I can't do it. I barely survived it all, I just- I can't let the memories back in."

"Moony..." It's a plea. A final, desperate attempt at an apology.

Remus' face twists, any trace of the walls from earlier gone. He looks hauntingly reminiscent of the twenty year old boy storming out of the door after the people who called themselves his friends, the love of his life, sat him down and confronted him for something that he had no part in. It hits Sirius so suddenly, so startlingly, his breath catching in his throat as his hope shatters.

"Look after yourself, okay? I- please don't blame yourself, it was a long time ago. We were young, and scared, and if I was stronger I might've been able to come back. I just... can't do it."

Then, he reaches out and links their pinkies together. It's only half a second, before he moves back as though the contact was burning him.

It can't be.

Sirius never started wearing silver again.

Then, he gets up and walks out without another word.

Sirius drops his head into his hands, stifling the first sob before he breaks down at the table.

Remus' coffee is still warm.

[mashruuums]

oops

[newyorkkiss]

girl on club dancefloor has her feet cooled by a friend pouring smirnoff ice over them (2000)

[2000three]

Mary Magdalene washing Christ's feet

[borsukuje]

[moonydulac]

I just love love the idea of r/s being exceptions to each other. passive, conflict avoidant remus demanding that sirius listen to him when they fight and impulsive, confronting sirius calming down and taking the heat coming from remus cause "woah he'd never ever lose control for nothing!" but also, sirius, the infallible, being vulnerable with remus and admitting to being lost here and there!

[missmoonfrost]

A second attempt - a wolfstar microfic

@wolfstarmicrofic - March 20: Weight - Words: 719 - Warnings: Eating disorder

Sirius knew that he wasn’t the healthiest. Had never been. But the fact that he was not going to live forever had been creeping up on him over the years, alongside aching knees and the need to catch his breath after a flight of stairs.

He had quit smoking for three years. And while proud of that, it had not done the number on the scale any benefit, quite the opposite. Losing some excess weight was the only sensible next step.

He would have tried doing that a long time ago if it hadn’t scared him so much.

Everyone assumed, at least so he thought, that it was laziness that had him unwilling to change his habits. He had played that trick on himself for a long time as well. That it would be too hard. That it would make him enjoy life less. That it would make him too tired and cranky to be worth it. Well, maybe it would, but that was not the catch. If age had a benefit, it was he actually did understand some things better now.

Two things scared him. Firstly, that he would fail. That he would put Remus through making sacrifices to support him and put up with his hungry moodiness for nothing.

Remus had been nothing but supportive. Never complained or even looked at him in a lesser way when his body had changed. But he must think, somewhere well hidden, that his partner had let himself go, mustn’t he? And if Sirius told him he was going to try, and Remus thought it reachable and got his hopes up only for Sirius to fail, maybe he’d somehow be reminded of what a loser he was stuck with and finally ditch him?

For that reason, he had been considering doing it without saying anything. At least in the beginning. He had, in fact, already cut some of the snacking. Change to diet sodas now and then. Done some push-ups when Remus was away. But hiding that sort of thing brought him to his second fear. The last time he attempted something like this it had not ended well.

It had been at Hogwarts after he had run away from home. He had thought he was finally being free. That this was his way to win over his dark past, to suppress every insecurity his own mind brought up and every hurtful comment thrown at him by controlling his food intake and his weight. It had felt like a good way to take charge of his life and become who he wanted to be. Until it had quickly become an obsession. And that person, disregarding every school subject in favour of counting calories and burning twice as much off, scoffing at the worried faces and pleas from his friends, passing out left and right from pure lack of nutrition, was decidedly not who he wanted to be.

He felt so much better now. So much more secure in himself. He didn’t think he would ever go back to that. But then again, he hadn’t seen it coming last time.

He approached Remus in their kitchen. “I’ve been thinking about trying to lose some weight.”

“You have?” Remus looked intently at him, widened his eyes in a guarded smile. “I think that would be beneficial if you do it… with cation.”

He clearly remembered last time as well.

Sirius nodded solemnly. “That’s why I’m telling you. So that you can keep an eye on me.”

"I'll help you in every way I can." Remus relaxed his face into a real smile and approached him in a hug, softly passing his hands over the curve of his lover's back, hips and belly.

“I better make sure to enjoy this soft belly while I still have it, then.” He whispered.

How that fat belly of his could be something worth loving was beyond him, but with the way Remus pressed himself against him and kissed him, Sirius believed it.

He kissed him back, if possible even more passionately than usual. He loved this man. The man who somehow managed to say exactly what Sirius needed to hear. The man who made him feel that whether he managed to lose a few pounds or not, he was loved and cherished for who he was.

[missmoonfrost]

Milkshake and medicine - a wolfstar microfic

@wolfstarmicrofic - May 7: Possibility - Words: 326

Remus steps back into the waiting room quietly. Sirius tosses the magazine he's been reading on the coffee table and looks up at him. Remus shakes his head.

"No?" Sirius frowns, "what do you mean, no?"

"It's only for people under 25."

"That's not fair!"

Sirius catches up to Remus, who is already stepping out into the bright spring day, a sharp contrast to his gloomy countenance.

"It's just been proven to reduce the cartilage degeneration caused by the transformations, not regrow it."

Remus looks the other way as he speaks and speeds up his steps as to shake Sirius, but he matches his pace.

"But if there's a possibility... Maybe you can get it abroad?"

"Maybe I don't want to spend every waking minute harassing doctors? Have you thought about that?!"

"I’m just trying to help! You don't have to do anything. I can write all the letters, make all the phone calls. And don't worry about the cost, I have that covered."

Remus halts and spins around to glare at Sirius.

"Will you stop it?! You know… There is a balance between investing all your hope in an endless chase and accepting that some things are not meant to be, mourn them and move on. And you're not the one forced to walk that tightrope!”

Remus jerks away, kicks a few dandelions at the edge of the sidewalk, sending their yellow heads flying. Then turns back to Sirius, shoulders slumping.

"I'm sorry", he says quietly, "I know this affects you as well. You have every right to -"

"No, you're right. You're absolutely right."

Sirius gently takes Remus' hands and slowly reaches to connect their lips, relieved as he feels Remus soften into the kiss and then into a soft embrace.

"I won't press it if you don't say so. How about mourning with some chocolate milkshake?" Sirius suggests, "I saw The Bearded Dragon had opened their outdoor seating."

Remus nods against his shoulder.

[bypapens]

Him again. Now in shorts… amazing

[caslyra]

Gross - a wolfstar microfic

Prompt: shiver @wolfstarmicrofic

CN: no explicit but implied adult content / self-hatred Read on ao3

Sirius is about to set the table - James and Lily are due any second - but he stops when he spots Remus throwing a sideways glance at the mirror in the hallway, hand reaching up to brush the skin by his eye. 

He's seen it a lot lately. Remus, tugging at his robes to hide the small belly he’s gained. Remus, running his fingers through his hair, as if wishing away the silver. Remus, frowning. He is pulling back, more and more and Sirius hates it. He's always needed room to breathe, but he doesn't care one bit for this kind of distance. It makes his skin prickle, reminds him of the early days when Remus would rather run than speak his mind.   

He'd thought they were settled. 

And he's had enough. Thing is, compliments don’t work with Remus. He endures them with a sad, uneasy smile. An expression that manages to say, 'Thank you for the effort' and 'Please don't bother,' without a single syllable. What Remus doesn't seem to hear is: Sirius doesn't care about the belly, the grey, the wrinkles, never has. It's always been about who lives inside.

Time to change tactics, he decides. 

‘You’re being rude, you know,’ Sirius says, as he steps closer. 

Remus tenses. ‘You’re right. It’s not your birthday; I should-‘

‘I’m not talking about that.’ Sirius takes a few more steps. That's the gist of it, he thinks. That stupid five kicking in the door and throwing a party for tension and distance and insecurity. 

Sirius is ready to kick them out. 

Remus watches him, confused and curious when Sirius steps into his personal space, so close he’s not invading, but conquering. So close that Remus inhales sharply, so close heir stomachs brush. And - call him a seer (don't) - Remus drops his gaze and shifts, ready to retreat. But Sirius - well, he could make a dozen inappropriate jokes on the reflexes (lack thereof) of werewolves (one werewolf)  - point is: he's faster. He catches Remus by the hips.

‘I’m talking about this,’ Sirius says, voice low but firm. His thumbs circle over Remus’ hip bones, not quite reaching his belly, but close enough for them both to know. He feels Remus tense under his touch, watches his gaze drift away. Something aches inside Sirius. He wishes… he wishes… 

‘You’re getting me wrong, Remus,’ Sirius says, softer this time. ‘I’ve had enough of all this self-conscious rubbish. It’s rude.’

‘How so?’ Remus continues to frown at him. 

Sirius wants to kiss the crease forming between his brows, badly, but he doesn't. Remus is on the verge of running as it is. ‘We both know it’s my raspberry scones that put it there,’ he  says instead, smiling softly as his thumbs continue their slow circles. He needs Remus to understand he's not really joking. ‘And I’ve worked hard to put it there. I won’t have you be embarrassed about it.’ He needs it, he doesn’t say; Remus’ belly is his soft insurance a bad moon won’t starve him to death.

‘Ah,’ Remus murmurs, and though he does look embarrassed, he doesn’t look away. Small victory. Better even. Sirius is pretty sure there's a bit of amusement hiding in the corner of Remus' eyes. On that note-

‘And that - don’t think I didn’t see it.’ Sirius lifts one hand to trace the fine lines by Remus’ eyes, the ones he’d been trying to smooth out before the mirror. 

‘I suppose you worked hard to put those there too?’ says Remus, sliding into that mocking voice Sirius loves. Getting to hear it is a privilege. 

‘It's hard work being this funny all the time.’

Remus snorts, the laugh pulling the wrinkles into clearer view, proving Sirius’ point.

But Sirius isn’t done.

‘And this…’ His hand glides into Remus’ hair. He feels the slight shiver under his fingertips, feels Remus lean into his touch. Sirius would much prefer to forgo the words and surrender to physical, but this isn’t about him. Remus needs to hear this. Really hear. 

‘How did you work for the grey hair now?’ Remus asks, eyebrows raised.

‘Easy,’ Sirius says, and starts counting. ‘Got squished by the bike, knocked off my broom, hexed by James when he thought I was a thief…' He leans in. His breath grazes Remus’ ear as he curls his fingers around a strand of hair and tugs. A soft pull, just enough to emphasise his point. He drops his hand and voice, knowing he’s playing dirty, but knowing he’s also winning. His husband is melting against him and so is the distance. ‘I worked hard for that, Moony. Don’t take it away from me.’

This time the shiver presses into Sirius’ own body. Remus draws a shaky breath. ‘You can’t just reframe every last-‘

‘Watch me,’ Sirius interrupts before Remus can say something ridiculous like ‘shortcomings’ like he knows he will. He pulls back just enough to hold Remus’ gaze, knowing Remus will find nothing but sincerity reflected at him. Well, sincerity and that feeling of home, but that’s hardly news, is it?

‘The bite scar,’ Remus says - not asks, not challenges, but states with grim satisfaction.

‘Proves you're one of the strongest humans I know,’ Sirius says without hesitation. Remus stares at him. He stares back, unwavering, He won't give an inch on that one. 

Remus swallows and it takes moments before he finds speech again, his voice a bit off.

‘The - the mole on my… er… the back of my upper thigh?’

‘That's not it, Moony,' Sirius laughs and leans in to kiss the corner of Remus' mouth. He can’t help it, doesn’t know why he finds this so endearing but he does. Remus isn't coy, he really isn't. He's just a bit of an idiot. Deliberately, in this case.

'Come on, you know the word.' Sirius winks, being a bit of an idiot himself. 'Remember yesterday, when you told me to -‘

'Arse,' Remus cuts in with conviction, deliberately holding Sirius' gaze. 

Sirius opens his mouth to say something when the floorboards creak. Someone clears their throat and a scandalized voice calls, 

‘Language like that at your age, Moony?’ 

Sirius turns to find Lily and James standing in the sitting room. ‘Letting yourselves in is dangerous,’ he points out with raised eyebrows. ‘Could’ve been mistaken for thieves.’

Lily snorts, pulling Remus into a brief hug. ‘Happy birthday... Heads up: James won’t let you forget he’s much younger than the rest of us.’

‘Happy birthday,’ James says, regarding Remus as he holds him at arm’s length. He wiggles his eyebrows and grins. ‘That mole on your arse - need me to take a look?’

<><><><><><><><><><>

Five hours later, Remus has allowed the distance to melt away. Considerably more flushed and sweaty, Sirius licks a slow stripe over said mole. 

‘You’re right,’ he says, pressing a kiss to Remus’ skin. It is met with a shiver. ‘Gross.’

[dellaray-deactivated20251231]

Messy happy Gryffindors enjoying a quidditch match…

This whole thing came about just because I wanted to paint Remus absolutely cheesing to show his lil crooked teeth ☹️

[animatanaa]

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺ Moony ⋆⁺₊⋆ ₊⋆ ⋆ ₊

[e1derel]

some old sketches