stardust.

side blog. ☾ m'list.

[monohart]

hmm i just started mapping out a multi-chaptered svt fic, does that interest anyone…

[monohart]

brandy red.

ft. lee minho

[ part 7/8 of spectrum blurbs! ]

[ 1am ]

the moment you got back to the apartment, he followed you around like a lost puppy, and you knew exactly why.

“i know i promised today, but can we do it tomorrow? i’m just… really tired.”

he sits down on the bed and watch you fiddle with your phone and charger. you had just taken a shower and he couldn’t help but notice how good you smell.

when he didn’t respond, you hastily threw your phone aside and walked over to him, whose eyes instantly lit up.

you stand him up and push him onto his side of the bed. the excitement in his eyes faded when you tucked him in and walked over to the other side.

“but… it’s my birthday… and you promised…” he says quietly.

“tomorrow, please.” you whine as he infiltrates your space. when you feel his lips against your neck, you knew you were unable to stop him at this point. he always got what he wanted.

“but weren’t we gonna celebrate your birthday tomorrow? with the rest of the boys?”

he gives a disgruntled murmur and looks up at you.

“my pup.” you murmur, running your hand through his dishevelled hair. your fingers brush against his earrings and you feel his smile against your skin. “why are you always doing this to me?”

he looks up at you for a brief moment and it was all it took for you to lose yourself in his eyes. his warm breath tickles your nose.

“i love you.” he breathes,

and then you give in.

[monohart]

smith green.

ft. seo changbin.

[ part 6/8 of spectrum blurbs! ]

[ 8pm ]

ramen was your to-go with him. first date? ramen. birthdays? anniversary? ramen. you loved ramen, you and him both.

so it wasn’t a surprise when he led you to your usual ramen place for dinner after a long study session.

he liked to finish his meal quickly so that he could watch you eat, saying you looked prettiest when you were eating what you liked. it worked well in his favour that you were a relatively slow eater. but it was different that day. you noticed him take small bites and sporadic chugs from his drink.

you finished before he did, so you watched him instead.

“are you in the mood for a drink?”

he cocked his eyebrow and you grinned innocently at him, which made him choke.

“gosh, baby. i was kidding.”

“if you want to, go ahead. i’ll take care of it.”

you shook your head and rested your elbows on the table to watch him finish his meal.

“now stop staring at me, i’m trying to eat.”

“but i like you.”

he lets out a giggle and covers his grin with his hands to recover from your attack.

“okay, but i love you.”

you instantly feel your ears heat up and you raise your hands in surrender.

“fine, you win. you win.”

[monohart]

sup guys. it’s been a while hasn’t it! life really got in the way in the past years or so, hence i haven’t been posting. i still see people follow my almost-dead blog and it’s? been really motivating? ive been looking back at some of my old work and felt really encouraged by some of y’alls notes. so thank you. thank you a thousand times.

anyway i’m not even sure if anyone is gonna read this, but i think my muse is finally coming back after an extended hiatus.

good things are coming.

[monohart]

clouds. (college!au)

ft. mark lee, sunny days and the brink of adolescence.

dating the campus’ radio dj was not an easy job

he was always, always busy, especially in the evenings.

he was exempted from 2/3 of his classes this semester to fit in broadcasting sessions and also to mentor the new broadcasters.

apparently they recruited a freshman, jisung. but he was a shy little bean, and mark needed to spend a lot more hours mentoring him.

which kinda meant that you would spend less time with your boyfriend

thankfully, y’all had similar classes.

there was this one class which was a capstone subject

which meant if u want to graduate u HAD to take it lol

and he aced all of the assessments in that subject so far this year

but you were just a bit competitive, so with exams coming, you planned to score a higher grade than him

which.. was an easy job, right? he spent most of his nights hosting the radio show anyway.

it both bugged and made you so extremely proud that mark was already getting proper job offers from major broadcasting channels

like when he got his first offer, he actually just finished a broadcast at around 3am, and was on the way back home

but he read the email on his phone and took a detour to your apartment

which scared the sh*t out of you

mark its almost 4am you could’ve just sent me a text??

“i don’t care i just needed to tell you this in person, oh my goodness is this even real????”

idk mark you tell me???

it was real, because he started getting offer after offer in the following week

but thankfully he didn’t pop by your place in the middle of the night again, after that first time

because you actually let him stay over that night and -

he held you in his arms as he leant against your headboard

and you just used him as a pillow because he you made him take a quick shower and he smelt of your soap but he still smelled of him and it was a comforting scent which sent you off the dreamland real quick

and he actually watched you fall asleep and made sure you were asleep before he pulled out his laptop to work on an assignment that was due the next day

when you woke up the next morning, you felt something cold and hard prod your back and you panicked for a moment before realising it was his laptop

and you heard the shower running so you knew it was mark going through his morning routine

but then you thought.... did he even sleep?

when he hopped out of the bathroom clad in same the clothes he wore the night before, he was still drying his hair with a towel

and his face was strew with exhaustion

but as soon as he saw you sitting groggily on the edge of your bed, his face lit up and he strode over to kiss the top of your head

“mark, did you even sleep?”

“nope, but i’m off again, i’ve got to hand in my assignment! i’ll see you for lunch?”

“wait what assignment?? did you need help on it?”

“nope, i got it done last night! thanks for letting me crash.”

before you could stop him, he pressed a hasty kiss on your lips before grabbing his laptop and bag and rushed out the door

and you sigh because

this was how dating mark lee, the campus dj, was like.

anyway

now, you guys were just a few days away from finishing the semester’s classes

and this was your last semester... given if you’ll pass the exams lol

so it was kinda the last few days you’d be able to spend together, on campus.

summer was coming

and the sun was so bright these days, it cleared the skies

no rain, none at all

which was not entirely Great because rainy days helped you study... and rainy days also meant more people tuned in on the campus radio

which meant

mark was kinda jobless today

which ALSO meant!!!

you could finally spend a whole day with him.

but, oh man...

when he called you around 11pm the night before, he was also checking his email and ... accidentally forgot that he had another assignment due at 8am the following morning

guess who didn’t get any sleep at all again!!!

your heart hurt seeing him work so hard

but somehow he convinced you to go to sleep first and not stay up to help him

he still got the assignment in on time because hes mark lee

so when you guys sat on the lawn in the middle of campus just like any typical college couple would on a nice sunny day, mark lay his head on your lap and used one of your textbooks to shield his eyes from the sun

and you were using his laptop to compile your notes from the semester, and also to help him tidy up his

“hey baby...?”

“hmm?”

you waited for mark to continue his sentence but he went silent

“mark, what?”

“mark-”

you lifted your textbook from his face only to find that he had fallen asleep.

his lips were slightly parted and he was snoring really quietly, and his fingers were in loose fists as they rested on his belly.

dont deny but you busted the biggest uwu didnt you

ofc like

you couldn’t possibly waste this precious photo opportunity but

your phone was just slightly out of reach rip

so when you grappled for it, mark woke up in an instant

he sat up real quick, and a tuft of his hair was sticking up messily.

“oh no, i didnt mean to-”

“so d’you wonder why we’re all clouds?”

you stared at each other with equally as confused frowns lol

like mark was actually

hella confused

but your expression literally read wtf

he didn’t really notice but instead yawned and held his arm out to you

and you move closer to him, snuggling into his side as he slowly lays the both of you down again, in a way so you could use his arm as a pillow.

the sun was really really bright so y’all lay there with your eyes squished shut

“we’re all just clouds, aren’t we?”

his serious question was met by your quiet scoff

“no, no, i’m for real. y’know how everything we do are for exams. exams this, assignments that... gpa... scores.. grades... deadlines... those kinda things. they turn us into clouds.”

“that is one extremely weird way to describe college students, mark.”

“no, baby, but... it’s accurate, isn’t it? the anxiety, stress, exhaustion... and just about everything we do turn us all into little clouds.”

“do elaborate, cause i don’t get why you’re comparing us to condensed water vapour.”

mark chuckled a little, and you roll your eyes figuratively, keeping your eyes tightly shut to shield it from the unforgiving sun.

"actually, never mind, it sounded way better in my head.”

at that point you were getting up to lie on your side

he turned his head and squinted at you as you gently placed a hand on his chest

"are you writing lyrics again?”

he hummed quietly and you shift a few inches closer to him.

“show me. i want to read those lyrics, no matter how dumb you think they are.”

“they’re not ready yet.”

“if you’re writing about anxiety, i can be your muse.”

“no way, you’re not a cloud. you’re a sunflower.”

he wrote lyrics all the time and most of the time he’d write them about you

sometimes he’d let you read them, sometimes he kept them to himself

and you’d catch him grinning idiotically over some lyric he wrote some time ago

so when he goes to sleep you would sneak a peak at it and it’s basically a love letter to first-date-you, or a diary entry of how he feels every time he sends u home from a date or from school but its so dreamy and seems unreal but you kNOW ITS REAL!!

bc u were there!!

anyway 

idk what came over you but you slung an arm around his torso and rested your head against his shoulder and he let out a quiet little puff of breath

you would think he’s pretty ok with skinship since y’all been together for so long

but yeah it was chill and okay and he’d be super clingy at home but when y’all were in public

man,,, he got so flustered and nervous

u just wanted to cuddle lol but he suddenly turned into a robot

the sun made everything seem slow and warm and sluggish which was pretty okay with you because you were finally spending time with mark!!!

and he was soft and squishy and a little bit awkward but so so so cute so u rly just wanted the moment to last longer

but no

just as u were about to drift off a Shadow™ loomed over u both

mark probably fell asleep again tbh

u heard a rly loud camera go CLICK and distinct voices whisper-yelling at each other

and there was a struggle

and the struggle ended with a Butt falling onto mark’s other shoulder

“MARK IM SO SORRY RENJUN PUSHED ME”

“NO YOU STINK YOU FELL BY YOURSELF”

“oh hey guys shut up the photo turned out alright”

“JENO SHUT UP THEY’RE RIGHT THERE”

mark was sitting up and you fussed over his other shoulder which was attacked by jaemin’s butt

and although he was so .. unfortunately.. woken up from his nap he was grinning and squinting up at his squabbling friends

and he chuckled as he watched u stand up and wrestle jeno for his phone to see the Photo

he was watching you chase chenle and renjun around the lawn, the two boys purposefully running slower to tease u

donghyuck sat down next to mark and put his head on his shoulder to mimic you from a few minutes ago

“oh you’re disgusting please go away.”

hyuck turned his head and batted his eyelashes up at mark who was still watching u with a dreamy smile

“you’re leaving soon, we just wanted to spend time with you before u abandon us”

mark laughed and told him he’s only graduating

but hyuck scowled and nudged mark with his elbow then gestured in your direction

“but you spend more time with her nowadays than you do with us”

mark let out a loud laugh and shook his head

“she’s my girlfriend.”

“so?”

“she’s my lover.”

“so??”

“she’s... everything to me.”

jisung, who was listening, gagged and haechan slapped mark’s tummy while hollering

and then u look over at them from the other side of the lawn, wondering why mark was lying on the floor again and why the other dreamies were surrounding him in a cultish circle

jeno and jaemin turned to face you with big chummy smiles on their faces and together they made heart arms at u

some other people on the lawn were beginning to stare and so u hide behind chenle bc renjun is too tiny

then jisung must’ve texted their group chat because renjun cackles and leads you back to the group

and u notice how bright mark’s face was which makes u blush like crazy as well

and even though stress from school, work and everything in general, was making u feel like a big and heavy raincloud

one look at mark lee made u feel like sunflowers and daisies

it totally didn’t help that when he’d look at you, the corners of his eyes would crinkle ever so slightly, and his eyes would shine with genuine adoration

and his cute little lips would stretch into the widest grin

uwu

and u bet the next batch of lyrics he gonna write is gonna be about you again!!

[monohart]

yours. (boyfriend!au)

ft. huang renjun, young love, and a break up.

this was an old thing i found sitting in my drafts and i only decided to publish it now because - it’s so angsty compared to my other bullet fics, and i feel a bit sad these days, so this feels somewhat appropriate.

i still see people showing interest in this blog, and i’m forever thankful. thank you for the my followers, old and new, i’m sorry i haven’t been posting a lot recently, but i do have a few ideas planned.

please enjoy and keep loving renjun. :)

if given the chance, you probably wouldn’t have broken up with renjun.

but thing was, you didn’t have the chance.

when you spoke to him about it earlier that day, you were crying. and he cried too. you sat in the corner booth at your favourite fast food restaurant, in his arms, as he ordered a milkshake for you

it has been tough. it’s been a tough few months already and it certainly wasn’t the first time he’s seen you break down

certainly wasn’t the last either

you were happy with him. you’ve been tons happier since you started going out with him.

he was a completely different person before you guys met

it didn’t surprise people that you two were in a relationship because you suited each other so well

he loved you. you loved him too. renjun and you loved each other so much you were both a little overwhelmed

the obsession you had toward each other really got a little overbearing

your grades were terrible and it seem almost too late to save them.

he got kicked off the soccer team last month.

you guys only fought once, but it was a while ago and since then you made a mutual pact that you guys would never fight as badly as that time, ever again.

and y’all stuck to it

love is real. but love had to be at the right time.

renjun nodded, his eyes downcast, as he heard you out earlier that day.

“...even if we’re not.. dating.. anymore, can i still love you?”

you were glad you were sitting right next to him when he asked, because his voice was so soft and so fragile

you said of course. and that you still loved him.

for one last night, you let renjun sleep over.

your single bed was way too small for the two of you, but he’s slept over before, and y’all always made it work

when he came in, he immediately crawled under your covers, turning the other way so he wasn’t facing you.

you quickly finished what you were working on at your desk and rushed through your night routine before joining him

and even when he felt your weight on the other half of the bed, he refused to turn over

and you were rendered confused until you heard a sniffle

and that broke you, really.

but you knew that it was for the best, and for the better of the both of you.

you reach your arms around his torso comfortably, and you feel his cold fingertips brush over your arms

you gave him a few moments before he turned himself around so that he faced you.

under the dim light from the moon outside, he gazed at you, and you gazed back at him

memorising every detail of each other’s features as it was the most precious thing in the world

and to you, two teenagers in love? it really was.

“i don’t...” renjun started quietly, but looked away, his bottom lip trembling

“it’s okay, junnie.”

“i know it’s for the best.”

you blink a few times as he pulled your body closer to his

“i’m so sorry.”

“you’ve done nothing wrong, honey.”

“i’m sorry for wasting your time.”

“you really haven’t.”

he was silent again for a long time, and you looked up at him, who had his eyes closed, his eyebrows ever so slightly furrowed.

you use a thumb to smoothen the frown out, then you slide your hand to caress his cheek

“is it possible for exes to love each other?”

“of course it is. elvis and priscilla continued to love each other even after their divorce.”

he was quiet again, but his eyes fluttered open to watch you.

“but.. then he died.”

you couldn’t help but let out a small, quiet laugh. tears welled up in your eyes without permission

“you’re not going to die, junnie. i don’t allow it.”

then, he leaned in and kissed you

kissing renjun always made you feel like a summer’s day. or a fruit salad, as he likes to put it.

it was from your watermelon chapstick, and a strawberry chapstick you bought for him, because it was one of your favourite fruits

and he liked watermelon, so you always, always, always wore watermelon flavoured chapstick

lowkey it was so he could never resist your lips.

but today

his kisses were cold, damp and a bit salty from his tears,

and nothing else.

as soon as you felt his lips on yours, you responded, telling yourself it would be the last time

you’d let him kiss you

feverish hands, warm, swollen lips were all that you remembered from that night.

“i’ll always be yours.” he whispers just before you doze off.

his voice cracks a little and for the thousandth time that night, you felt your heart shatter into a million pieces

but a part of you remained strong, because you’ve loved, you love, and you will continue to love him

maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week

but if time allows, perhaps you and renjun could fall in love again, perhaps even more than you have before

perhaps for another day, perhaps for another week, perhaps for another month,

perhaps for eternity.

[monohart]

sunset grey.

ft. yang jeongin

[ part 5/8 of spectrum blurbs! ]

[ 5pm ]

it was that time in the semester where you just wanted to go home and nap for a few days. you couldn’t do that, of course. jeongin offered to grab your favourite drink from the cafeteria on his way over, but you declined. after all, you decided that a drink would not make any difference to how terrible you felt.

“what’s wrong?”

you could hear the worry laced in jeongin’s voice as he stood over you in the far corner of the library where you were surrounded with paper and notebooks and pens and highlighters. you shrugged.

“do you want to take a break now?” he asked gently as he sat down next to you, reaching for your hands. you pulled them away abruptly which made him draw back in surprise. he studied you for a moment, unsure of how to approach you. sure, you had your moody days, but you would always talk it out with him. he decided this time it was no different.

the day was slowly drawing to a close. he knew the sun was about to set, so there really wasn’t anywhere you could go before it got dark. still, he decided some air would do you well.

he reached for your hand again, this time, ignoring the soft protests spilling from your lips. he took you for a walk around the school campus, fingers intertwined with yours.

“sunsets are orange. they’re also sometimes purple.”

you look up to see your boyfriend smile at you.

“what?”

“sunsets aren’t grey, so don’t let your grey days ruin the beautiful sunset.”

you couldn’t help but grin. that was a bit cute.

“i love your mind.”

“and i love you.”

[monohart]

idiot. (boyfriend!au)

ft. liu yangyang, cardboard rockets and plastic universes.

“come on idiot, i want to see you one more time before you leave.”

“you call me idiot again and i’ll kick you to mars.”

“makes sense that i go to mars… since you’re leaving me anyway.”

when you were met with silence, you knew that you hurt him more than you had intended.

“i’m sorry, boo i didn’t mean it like that.”

“my point is, i’ll miss you… i miss you already. can’t you tell kun to wait a few more days?”

…

“boo, are you there?”

“yangyang?”

“if you would take a moment to enjoy the scenery outside your room instead of nagging at me, maybe you won’t miss me so much.”

“i’m not nagging at you! i just want to s- …. oh my god.”

the moment you looked up and peered outside of your window, you were immediately met with a rickety old cardboard rocket sitting on your front lawn, with your most favourite person in the whole universe standing next to it.

you dashed outside without hesitation!! tears were threatening to spill but you honestly didn’t care

he looked amazing like always even though he was barely even trying

if anyone could pull off wearing a red beanie with a hoodie of that shade of green, with ripped jeans and timbs, ya bet it would be yangyang.

also he was doing the bare minimum yet you could still feel your insides melt

he jogs toward you and greets you with a tight hug. yangyang is like a really good cuddler and he probably smells soft like fresh laundry and flowers so that’s a bonus :))

you actually burst into tears already and you look up to see why he wasn’t comforting you but you see that he’s also teary eyed and when yalls wet eyes meet you both laugh

then he holds your hand and walks you to the cardboard rocket you guys, along with your siblings and the neighbourhood kids, built when yall were 7

yall rarely talked about it but it still struck you at how crazy it was that you knew yangyang since you were 5, and now, as young adults, you guys were in a serious relationship of almost 3 years

of course since you were already super close to him and there was barely anything you didn’t know about each other, but also given how familiar he was with your family and you with his, it was kind of a bumpy relationship from the onset

you saw all of his flaws, sometimes more than you looked at his perfections.. and he with yours. but over time you guys realised just how beautiful each others’ flaws were and fell in love just the way yall were

the old cardboard rocket was way smaller than you realised. it had been a decade since you last seen it in the liu’s garage and you were surprised they haven’t thrown it out yet

you knew your boyfriend came prepared when the back of the rocket was reconstructed so that both of you could sit inside for a bit.

yangyang hands you a large parcel that he somehow pulled out of thin air

he be spending too much time with kun!! all these magic tricks smh

he watches you with bright, excited eyes as you carefully unwrap the parcel.. you do so slowly and carefully because u didn’t wanna tear the wrapping paper and when you finally got it off…

there was another layer of wrapping

you glare at yangyang who feign a shocked expression

so you ripped the second layer off and it’s a box?!

inside the box was a see-through mobile of the solar system and beyond. but what was super cool was that it was homemade

you knew kun had access to a 3d printer at his uni so this must’ve been how yangyang made it.

of course it wasn’t perfect since jupiter was the same size as the sun but you still loved it and it was the perfect gift and very symbolic

“even though i’m away, you’ll have the whole universe to keep you company. pretty cool, right?” yangyang says as he watches you examine the plastic universe in awe.

you carefully put it aside and then straddle his legs, sitting as comfortably as you could in his lap in the back of the cardboard rocket

as you grab his collar to pull him closer, he gets the idea and holds your cheeks in a comforting caress as he leans forward to kiss you

as much as you wanted to lose yourself in the kiss like he did, you pull away briefly and he’s looking at you probably wondering why u did that

“you gave me a plastic universe, but you, liu yangyang.. you’re my whole universe..”

“omg no, yangyang don’t cry. if you cry i’ll start crying too.”

you wrap your arms around his neck and holds him tightly as he leans against the walls of the rocket. you feel him bury his face into the crook of your neck

“omg yangyang stop crying i swear i’ll-”

you didn’t get to finish your sentence because there was a loud snapping and tearing sound and the wall behind him disappeared and the back of his head hit the grass outside the rocket.

he looks up at you with stunned eyes

and you’re still straddling him but you’re panicking like wait oh no we broke the rocket...

the rocket!!! the precious cardboard rocket from your memories.. broken

when you feel his fingers in your hair and his lips on yours again, you forget about the rocket almost instantly

when yall finally pause for some air akdjnd yangyang laughs at how much of a mess he made

like literally your faces were smudged with tears – mostly his – and u were wearing a bit of lipstick which was all over the place now.. and your hair was a whole mess, his beanie had fallen off someway along the way.. the picnic mat was a poor crumpled heap at the side.. there were pieces of carboard and styrofoam and dust… lots of dust.. floating around like snow

“oops.”

“you’re gonna board your flight and i’ll be stuck here cleaning up your mess.”

“i have time..” he looks at his watch and faltered because he definitely did not have time!! the flight was soon and he should get to the airport now

“it’s okay. you should get going, i’ll be alright.”

he doesn’t answer and wraps you in his arms again as he sits up.

“yangyang.”

“hm?”

“i love you.”

he is silent for a while a for a moment you thought you messed up.

honestly you’ve said it a couple times before because u did love him but he always either laughed it off or changed the subject

either he was really sensitive about it or it was because he wasn’t ready to say it back to you yet but even so you were happy to wait for him

except waiting hasn’t been easy.. felt really one-sided, yknow??

“hey lovebirds! liu yangyang! you’re gonna be late!”

kun. screaming in chinese. from the van u didn’t even notice was parked at the side of the road. oof of course..

u say hi to mama kun then help yangyang quickly fix up his appearance so he’d rock his airport look

he kisses u one last time then hops into the van without looking back and you feel a tiny pang of hurt in your heart :(

i mean ouch tf that kinda hurt esp after you said the sacred l word to him and really meant it

after packing the rocket and broken pieces into a corner, you headed indoors again with yangyang’s plastic universe

he had updated ig and it was just a few car selfies

of him wearing that ugly green hoodie and red beanie

which mean he took it minutes ago.. literally

what really stood out was smudges of your lipstick at the corner of his mouth

esp in one photo he pouted his lips which rEALLY MADE THE SMUDGES STAND OUT AKJDNJD

your eyes glanced over the caption without paying too much attention bc damn your boy fine

but oho u did a double take

caption read “i love you too. i’m sorry i couldn’t tell you in person because you’re too beautiful and i stumbled head over heels for you and lost my two remaining brain cells. i love you more than the whole universe. 🚀”

“yangyang, you’re an idiot.”

[monohart]

lq renjun photos?

so there’s a fan account i’ve started running on insta (which is why i haven’t been writing much), feel free to check it out if you’d like to see my renjun ft. yangyang and nct diary! (tbh it’s just a place where i could burst about my biases without bothering my friends so if you’re into that, feel free to tune in!) 

also! hmu in dms (either here or on ig) if you’d like to chat. i’m thinking of possibly taking requests, so if we talk there, i might be able to write something for you. there’s that. :’)

https://www.instagram.com/renjundays/

[monohart]

stardust. (idol!au)

ft. huang renjun, failure and a secret relationship.

i’m back after a long break, haha. this was an old writing that had been sitting up in my drafts for a while... happy 2019! please spend this year showing more love to renjun. :)

thank you, and enjoy!

when you were cut from the line up for sm’s new group renjun was 100 times more devastated then u were

u were like hey rj cmon don’t worry i’ll be fine??? i’m sure i can audition for another company or smth?? or wait for the next unit debut??

u even jokingly said maybe u could debut in an nct unit but he couldn’t bring himself to smile

and your chest :(( hurt :(( from seeing him so hurt ;;;

ofc for as long as you remember y’all had been talking about both debuting under sm at the same time so y’all could be chasing your dreams and not be too far away from each other

but that plan failed when renjun debuted first with nct dream and had his schedule Packed w nct promotions and concerts and stuff

he and the other nct guys would sometimes let u sit behind the camera in vlives

this one time omg

(( ok so refer to this for a visual :) ))

u sat behind the camera in the chenle jaemin renjun react to baby don’t stop vlive

even though u were hella scared to be kicked out chenle was like HEY DW I’LL FIGHT ANYONE WHO THINKS YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE THERE OKAY

so u snuck out of your practice session slightly earlier to watch them

renjun was so excited u were there but obvs he had to keep it together for the live

then!! lolololol rip your manager found out u snuck out of practice and found u in the room and pulled u out of the room

(u kno that moment when they all looked behind the camera and then turned down the music.. yeah issa bc ur crazy manager almoST ruined the mood)

manager scolded u outside the room for a good few minutes and then told u to get yourself together

and u stood outside the room for a bit longer after manager left

and u were literally about to leave but then guess who u ran into!!!

chittaphon knew about u and rj since the day he met u and him both

it was kinda funny really bc u and rj stood rly awkwardly next to each other at this company event a few years ago and y’all were standing around the other dreamies and some other trainees and suddenly renjun’s hand brushed the side of your leg and u glance at him and he smiles at u and u look away smiling

AND chittaphon, who happens to be taking a nice long sip of his soda SEES THIS and spits his soda out

accidentally sprays soda onto jeffery’s back

but yeah thats another story

anyway!!!!

ten sees u sulking outside the door and peers in and sees renjun and hears bds

u know that smile smirk ten does when he knows whats Up™.

yeah he does that and be like

“eyy why don’t u go in???”

then u give him a breakdown of what happened with skipping practice and being caught by the manager

and hes like :o

but chittaphon is chittaphon so he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you back into the practice room and hides you in a corner just out of view

and then he sneaks onto them!!

then jaemin... quick-eyed, lovely doe-eyed jaemin... sees u hiding and nudges renjun ever so slightly

he sees u and before he gets flustered ten’s all over him asking how the mv was and flustered rj tries to keep his cool while showering chittaphon w compliments

and u know how ten looks at him like That :^)

and jaemin keeps peeking over their shoulders

yeah :))

OK I SPENT TOO LONG DESCRIBING THIS

but anyway, on that night u were cut from the line up

after the news got to him he sits down and was just like

:(

because he knew how much debuting meant to u and

and... YOUR DREAMS TO BE TOGETHER :(( debuting together and always being close to each other

and u mentioned before that if u dont debut in the next five years u prolly would quit the entertainment industry

maybe go back to school and study some or idk work in a less chaotic industry

in that moment he remembered what u said and was a little heartbroken too

he tried to find you in your usual practice room but u weren’t there and he shouldn’t be loitering around so he gave up and let you have some space

bet u he sulked all the way home

you had travelled back to your dorm because u needed some time alone oof

it took u a good few hours to deal with the news and when u were ready to talk about it again, it was like 3am but u still gave his mobile a call

he picked up on the second ring and said to meet him outside your dorm in a few mins and y’all can go take a walk or smth for some fresh air

so u guys go to the park for a nice quiet walk in the dead of night hhh

u had so many things to say but mostly u were worried with your relationship w him and how y’all were supposed to balance that out given his priorities with nct and you as... just a trainee...

u didnt have to explain anything or other bc he suddenly goes

“what if we went public with our relationship?”

u look up at his face that was hidden behind a mask and his glasses

u deadass thought he was kidding but his that look in his eyes were like hella serious

“just think about it for a second. maybe we don’t have to bring it to the fans, but at least let the company know”

and u were like no way they’ll just do anything to keep yall apart

he didnt answer after that and not too long later yall started heading back to your dorm

it was almost 5am and the streets were still dark and renjun had an arm around your waist and you leant against him and yall walked slowly bc honestly u guys haven’t slept a wink and its been a Really Long day

your dorm was a street away from his

actually he stops about a street or two away from your dorm bc another idol group also lived in the same building as u and there were always sasaengs and people w cameras outside your dorm

u were a trainee so it didnt bother u but renjun was renjun :,)

plus he actually wanted sum privacy so he could kiss u.. so...

hsaksdnd

there was a narrow alley just around the back of the apartment block next to yours

u would never go there alone kasdnj it was scary at any time of the day

tbh

u wouldn’t go even if someone was there with u

maybe it was the heat of the moment or u were just so down that day

it didn’t rly bother u when renjun gently backed u up against the wall and hugged u n took off his mask n buried his face in the crook of ur neck

and that immediately put a smile on your face ur like baby wyd its 5am

hes looks at u like :(( and says “i miss u” in a quiet quiet voice & in his mother tongue

u knew what it meant and hearing him say it in chinese made you uwu to mars

then he showers u with like tiny tiny butterfly kisses and he wraps his arms around u to make u feel safe and warm

which u do!!

he holds u up too when ur knees buckle a bit but then just continues kissing u hehehe

its all sweet and innocent but his kisses last just a tiny bit longer each time, as if hes scared that you’d run away

after he finishes kissing u he meets your eyes and u literally watch his orbs go all soft and he hides his face in your neck again while u mutter about how much of a big baby he is

the goodnight was!!!

the hardest thing y’all had to do omg

he literally didnt want to let u go

and when he did and when u started walking toward ur building u kept looking back, wanting him to head off but he didnt and stood there waiting for u to go in

and u didnt want to go in without knowing he was on his way home and was safe on the walk back wdf it was almost 6am

then when u were almost at the door u saw he hadn’t moved an inch

so u run back to him

he was still standing at the spot where y’all parted - which was a few streets down and out of sight

he scolds u for running back out but he smiles when doing so and u snap his mask back onto his face and kisses him over the mask like 200 times and u couldnt see but hes like dying from the giggles

anyway eventually y’all go home :,) it just took forever :,)

the next day u head to the building in the afternoon to catch up on some sleep

u were a bit guilty to find out renjun went back to work at 7am which meant he practically didnt get any sleep

y’all brush shoulders in the cafeteria but he was walking w hyuck and his manager so u couldn’t stop and chat

tho u couldn’t help but notice his manager steal a glance at u when u walked by and he had this really weird smile on his lips

made u go like huh.,, maybe he recognises me from the many Brief encounters yall had before

anyway u were doing some vocal and keyboard practice later in the afternoon when the door to the private training suite opened and two loud boys stumbled in

made u rly surprised bc u never expected it to be them??

it was taeyong and winwin??

they were both looking at u like :))) as if they did something great :))

taeyong introduces himself formally but you’re like ,, um u know we’ve met before at this function and hes like OH,,, sorry

anyway they were there to tell u how renjun couldn’t shut up about u since he went back to the dorm last night and now all of nct knows about everything to know about u and him (if they hadn’t already)

you’re just like .,, oof what embarrassing stuff did he say

they’re like NO ALL NICE STUFF,, a bit cringey at times

but !! nct wanted to help u

so earlier today

johnny and jaehyun spoke to their managers and night night producers and asked if they could hire a third radio dj - yknow someone who also speaks english and is really nice and entertaining and funny and cool like u are!!

that idea is now In The Talks

winwin brought up a variety thing china line and their managers had been thinking about for a while and also asked if they could consider u

nct managers be like ok so who actually is this trainee and why are all 18 boys obsessively asking to include her in nct activities

later that day when u see renjun again he was just heading off but he came around your practice room to see u before he left

thankfully u were the only one left at practice as the others were away busy preparing for their debut or smth :,)

u didnt hear him come in bc u were sitting in the middle of the room on the floor scrolling replying to week old texts oop hehe

renjun sneaks up behind u and hugs u from behind and kisses your cheek

he got a bit scared when u didn’t respond as explosively as he thought... for a second he thought he got the wrong person poor bean he was so nervous hhh

you chuck your phone aside and tackle him and he falls onto his back and yall kinda lay there on the ground for a bit

and you told him about taeyong and winwin visiting u and he just smiles

“you inspire me.”

“me? inspire you? you’re huang freakin’ renjun, and i, of all people, inspire you?”

“yeah”

“don’t understand u sometimes”

he turns his head to look at u and u turn to look at him and he kinda just admires you for a while then reach over and touches your cheek

it wasnt even a sweet caress or anything he literally just

touched

your cheek

“renjun what the heck”

then he laughs and u laugh and u snuggle against him and for the first time that week both of u feel completely at ease bc even though the dream u guys shared at the beginning was completely shattered,

y’all would still find a way around it

and knowing so many people around u still supported u guys meant so much

especially to renjun bc u were his everything and he’d do anything for u

and i mean it!!!

[monohart]

what the hell :(

its almost 4am and i lost ?? the entire story i spent the last 3 hours writing?? or like i lost 70% of it... what the f*ck tumblr i literally had the shittiest day and i wanted to write something nice for myself and i even fought sleepiness to finish off that thing

i’m literally about to cry im so tired sorry if i don’t post in the next few months or something i’m just really fed up with everything.

[monohart]

pretzels. (boyfriend!au)

ft. kim jungwoo, younger siblings and a safe word for “save me”.

when you started going out with jungwoo, your younger siblings / younger friends were even more excited then u were

bc he was the nicest and kindest and most considerate guy in the world

ok no lie he was nicer than u and he was kinder to your friends too lol

i don’t blame him honestly he just wanted to make a good impression on your friends who he knew meant a lot to u

even tho they can be ... quite a handful sometimes..

the first few months were okay because your friends were still on that.,, getting to know him stage,, so they were quite shy

until once u were like

oh boy u regret it now

but u were like

a bit tired of how they always came to you for requests and favours

like hey can u help me with this homework,,, or hey can u pick me up after school bc my parents are too busy...

so u were like

ok here is my boyfriend’s number, just ask him to help u bc i’m rly busy

it started off good, bc like i said, jungwoo wanted to be friends with your friends too!!

and your friends were like WOW...... IT a BOY hHhHhHhh

and jungwoo was like ᵒᵐᵍ ᶦᵗˢ ᵐʸ ᵇᵃᵇʸ'ˢ ᵇᵃᵇʸ ᶠʳᶦᵉⁿᵈˢ ʰʰʰʰʰᴴᴴʰᴴᴴʰ

u liked seeing them get along well too

UNTIL,,,,

a few weeks later

whenever u were like

hey jungwoo can we hang out this saturday i finally finished my assignments for now

and he goes

“oh ... oh no i promised your friend.. the one who always wear pigtails? i promised her i’d take her to the mall for the uh, claire’s big discount sale”

“... did you just turn me down bc u have a date with my 7 year old friend..”

after much persuasion from jungwoo your 7 year old friend finally let u tag along

she was looking forward to spend the whole afternoon with jungwoo bc he was nice and he smiled and gave his genuine opinion on stuff

and he’d buy bubble tea for her just to see her smile kjdsnf he was soft for that kinda thing

ʲᵘⁿᵍᵘʷᵘ

he wasn’t like u who scolded them every other minute, for spending too much money and wasting time

basically they hated u at times bc u were such a mOM.

so anyway at the mall date outing, when the 7 year old was busy browsing through some necklaces at the sale, you pulled jungwoo aside

your friend was little but she eavesdrop on stuff a lot

so when the store manager wasn’t looking you pulled jungwoo into the small storage room at the back

and he’s like

slightly panicked

and he kept licking his lips bc he was nervous and also he forgot to wear your favourite chapstick

the one u really liked the flavour of

because he thought u stole him aside because u wanted to kiss him lol poor baby im sorry u just wanted to talk loolol

"we need a safe word...”

“for? what?”

“for when you can’t stand my friends anymore... and you want me to tell them to back off.”

“oh... it’s okay. they’re really cute and i don’t mind”

“you’ll change your mind after two months, wanna bet?”

“huh? oh.. it’s really okay, baby.”

“okay just in case you change your mind... just... tell me that u want some pretzels and i’ll get it.”

he laughs. “okay then.“

u reminded him about the secret code for a distress call almost everyday and he’s like yep no worries i’m good rn

then before u know it two months fly by

you still get to spend a lot of time with him during the week

but as the semester rolls by you both get busier and busier w studies

he still helps your little friends with the little favours and stuff and he still likes them with his full heart but

but whevenr he goes hang out with them he noticed how reluctant u were to join and that small crestfallen look on your face when u think that he and your friends prolly enjoy each others’ company more than yours,

made him worried fr

so he called u one evening

u were walking home from a night class

and y’all chat about bland things until he goes

“i miss you.”

and you’re like pft come on we talk everyday and we spend our weekends together

and he’s like :(

“but it hasn’t been.. just us.. in a long time..”

cUE SOME SMIRKING

u were like

hHEHEHE

u decide to play w him a little

“but too bad my little sisters like you so, so much and you seem to like them too and they’ll be disappointed if jungwoo oppa can’t come and play with them anymore”

he goes silent for a while and u could tell he strugglin’

“i... i guess i just want some pretzels...”

he added quickly “just for a while?”

“and how long is your while, baby?”

“um, one month?”

you think about it.

one whole month where you get jungwoo all to yourself again

yeah of course what the heck he was your boyfriend after all

literally that night you phoned your friends to say jungwoo was super busy this next month so they weren’t able to find him

cue some sulky sad depresso 7 year olds but wtv!!! they’ll live!!!

also

jungwoo that headass

he came over to your place and packed a bag of your stuff w all necessities and basically kidnapped u for a few days

netflix every night until y’all both fell asleep!!

lots and lots of cuddling and spooning and soft shit

on nights without netflix y’all lay in the dark and talked about whatever came to mind

his favourite place was the crook of your neck

tickled u hella but u let him bc u liked being the small spoon

felt safe and protected uwu

he smelt nice after showers too

he doesn’t wear cologne but u know that very fresh laundry and soft cotton soap smell

yeah that’s jungwoo and it was so warm and soft

waking up in the mornings you’d find that he hadn’t moved at all and was still spooning u

tbh he’d usually be up before u so when you turn your head he’d attack u w kisses

hug u a bit tighter until you start laughing bc he always said the first thing he wanted to hear in the mornings was your cute little laugh

you’d go to the library together to “study”

u being the kind of college student who don’t wnana delay graduation and longer than it should be, worked diligently

but your mans kim jungwoo was willing to risk it all

you’d look up everyone few min or so and he’d be just looking dreamily at u

w a small silly grin on his face

his eyes go a little softer around the edges like he was looking at smth absolutely gorgeous and cute

u kick him under the table shyly

and he gently kicks u back

and y’all nudge each other back and forth until u couldn’t stand it anymore and drags him out of the quiet area

there’s a fire emergency staircase next to the toilets around the back of the library where people rarely go

before u could fully make sure there weren’t anyone lurking around the area he’s already backing u against the wall and kissing u

hhhhh

one of his hands is against the wall just above your ear and the other hand is on your chin

meanwhile your hands are everywhere tho

and he loves it

awkwardly stops when some lost first year kid come walking up the stairs only to immediately dash back down again hhh

gave u an excuse to hide against his chest

made him giggle a bit uwu

but then lifted your chin up and dove back in :)

anyway :)) after y’all finish :)) making out :)) you head back to your desks like nothing happened :))

some people stare though

at jungwoo’s tousled hair and bright red cheeks

and at your swollen lips and shifty eyes :))

when the one month come to an end it feels like coming home from a honeymoon really

bc everything goes back to normal and your friends are ringing him up again

but you didn’t mind because it’s only gonna be a matter of time before jungwoo comes back and asks for pretzels again uwu

[6i]

it takes years to develop your craft. do not romanticize the idea of an ‘overnight success’. be a student. grow organically. get really good. hate your work. start over. find new ways to express the same ideas. the student becomes the master. your time will come.

[monohart]

We stan a psychic

thank you sweet anon, i genuinely hope i am worthy of your time! 💕

[monohart]

hello i never posts rants here but i am actually screaming rn post regular dream release?,!;!,!,

so like an office concept? how the fukcvjfn did one of my fic drafts turn into real life i’m !!!! oh my gofodness

so there’s a thing sitting in my draft i’ve written back in june?? it bears uncanny reference to the tHING NCT RELEASED AN HOUR AGO......

and tbh the reason why i haven’t posted it yet was because i couldn’t get the layout to look nice ajdhdjdj lol

i’m crying i cant believe my fic became real

oh and it’s a jungwoo thing as well so

yeah i’m dead bye

[monohart]

sunshine. (idol!au)

ft. lee felix, hectic schedules and capsule hotels.

happy happy happy birthday to this lil mochi :))

you were in a new group from starship entertainment.

the star lineup for kcon japan that year included your group, your sunbae group monsta x, and tons of others including stray kids!!!

there were 6 others in your group and like only one of them knew you were secretly going out with felix

and Lordt she was so mad to find out you broke the dating ban but for your honour and reputation and for the rest of the group, she kept quiet about it

starship didn’t actually give y’all phones so you shared four ipads between the six of you

so the only way for you to talk to felix is through Long Long Long emails.

once you spent two hours just to respond to his lengthy email which ended up being almost 2,000 words long

crazy, but y’all did what y’all had to do :)

back in korea y’all could never go out on dates it was actually so bad

bc starship watched y’all like crazy

they just didn’t want scandals yknow :(

and jyp had a dating ban too so felix had to sneak around to reply your emails

anyway

you freaked when you saw the kcon japan lineup when your group and stray kids were listed side by side amongst others

so when you finally had time to log into your email later on that week, you found your inbox Flooded. by felix. FLOODED.

boy deadass sent 24 consecutive one liners going

??? YO IS THIS REAL??? KCON JAPAN??? YOUR TEAM AND MY TEAM??? OMG SUNSHINE LETS HANG OUT??? OSAKA?? IS???? GREAT???

when you finished going through his mental meltdown you replied and told him not to be crazy because y’all don’t want scandals :(

you guys used the email instant messenger bc y’all did that for emergencies

and this was kinda an emergency :’))

so felix comes up with a brilliant idea

here’s what’s gonna happen

since his older sister had some free time rn and since she’s been to osaka he’s gonna get her to book a hotel!! for you guys!! just for one night

“FELIX ARE YOU CRAZY???”

“... crazy for you, my sunshine. but hey!! hear me out, ...”

capsule hotels!!

they’re Really really nice and secluded and you won’t be able to get in without a key

(which his noona can get a hold of and pass onto some marty who can pass on to some louise who can pass it to some alexa who can pass it to your boyfriend)

after like an hour he finally convinced you so you promised to meet him 11:40pm saturday night after you’ve both performed and before y’all headed back to seoul on sunday morning.

also, capsule hotel! you weren’t Entirely familiar with them but they sound fun so why not??

and hhhh spending one night? with felix??

: ))

even though y’all would be sleeping in separate capsules it was still so exciting!!

like an adventure :))

WHEN THE DAY FINALLY CAME

both your performances were successful!! and it was so rewarding to hear the fanchants and all

you even brushed past stray kids backstage

and when chan gave you the wiggly eyebrows and mouthed ‘sup sunshine’, felix turned into blushing mess

and you knew your boyfriend must’ve couldn’t hold his tongue and told them about your plan

and you ^////^ almost smacked him but some of your members and managers and staff were in the room so you had to be cautious.

ah rookie life :)

starship more like hardship amiright :)

you talked to that one member in your group who knew about felix, about your plan with felix, and she agreed to cover for you

you had a small purse with your wallet passport and other important stuff tucked underneath a big black hoodie and snuck to the address felix sent you

he arrived not too long after you and y’all headed up the escalator to the co-ed floor together with a few other hotel guests who didn’t seem to recognise you guys

a sigh of relief

BUT as soon as y’all arrived on your floor and was left alone

he tackled you so quick and attacked you with kisses and giggled and mumbled into your ear

how much he missed you

and how great you were on stage

and you tell him the same too

y’all had to pull apart bc this tourist walked by trying to find find his capsule and very politely asked for directions

so you guys had to get yourselves together lol jsbdjd

your capsules were opposite to each other

which was kinda cute bc when y’all wake up you could see each other immediately if u open the capsule

you already washed up before coming out so you chilled in your capsule and used his phone to watch some fancams form kcon

and waited as felix went to quickly wash up

after a while he came back to his capsule and played around with the lights and air conditioning and stuff and you hopped over to his capsule with his phone

and y’all sat next to each other

with the door open!! pg-13!!!

and watched more fancams hhhh

he got a bit jealous when you fangirled over hyunjin

a jealous felix meant tighter hugs and a very cuddly boy nuzzling against your neck

WHICH TICKELED SNBDBS

and he found it amusing when you groaned at him to stop tickling you

so he tickled you some more until you couldn’t take it anymore and shrieked

yALL pANICKED bc there were signs all over telling you all to keep Silent

so you press a soft kiss on his cheek and then another one on the corner of his mouth and with a smile you whisper that maybe you guys should rest

and he nods so you go back to your capsule

and he watches you get settled in yours and as soon as you were all ready, you waved at each other and closed the capsule

when you laid down you just :):):):) tried to come to terms that this was all happening and how much trouble you’d be in if you got caught

you really wished you had a phone right there and then

because you just wanted to talk to the boy sleeping in the capsule opposite yours

and it kinda made you sad that this was all momentary and when tomorrow came you’ll be back to real life

you had a photoshoot on monday,,, i think. and stray kids would start filming for a show on sunday afternoon

so you’ll both be Super busy and hectic and idk when you’ll next have time spent together

but compared to before y’all had already spent TONS of time together

then suddenly there was a knock on your capsule door

at first you thought it was the person in the capsule beside you trying to get in/out

but the knock persisted so you open it, expecting it to be the manager or someone to tell you off for shrieking earlier

BUT NO

smiley felix clambers in without permission and shuts the capsule before anyone could see him come in

you whisper yell at him?? bc the strict rules said one Head per Capsule

and you really really didn’t want to get in trouble

he tells you to calm the heck down by locking you down in a tight hug and gently rubs your back

of course you quiet down and in no time you turned to face him and snuggle against his chest

and he hooks his chin on the top of your head and you smile against his shirt

then you feel a soft rumble of him humming

you didn’t recognise the song but his voice was so heckin smooth and soft and warm

and you almost drift off until his grip loosened around you so you looked up

he was watching you with a soft smile and pure adoration in his eyes and just thinking how the heck did he ever muster up the courage to ask you out all those months ago

but he didn’t regret it at all because you were Literally the only girl he’d ever see

and he was so happy you debuted as well so he got to see you more often

he craned his neck slightly to kiss you and you kiss him back sleepily

ok so like

you suddenly remember that

y’all don’t get to kiss very often

SO YOU WAKE THE HECK UP JSHDB

and he lets out a oOMPH when you accidentally kicked him in the

uhm,,

groin.

but he doesnt really care because he was finally holding you

y’all didn’t have a lot of catching up to do because that was all done and dusted through your essay length emails

it was really just time, that was all you guys wanted and needed.

“hey sunshine?”

“mhm?”

“.....”

“what, felix?”

“... so.... does wonho really have such big biceps?”

“please get out of my capsule.”

“im kidding!! noo don’t kick me out.”

you roll your eyes at him who grins back at you

you could both see the fatigue in, and under each others eyes

because kcon had been hella full on with MC-ing and performing and doing fan activities and press conferences and interviews....

you guys had to be up in just a few hours’ time, but it didn’t really bother either of you for not getting sufficient sleep

i mean at this point y’all were pretty much used to fatigue

you drift in and out of sleep because your boyfriend the hyper baby brings up random things at random times

sometimes you recall what he said, in other times it slips by

but he was too tired to repeat himself

“h..hey sunshine?”

“yeah?”

“d-dooyounoe that i loveyou”

you open your eyes to find him laying on the pillow, with his eyes closed, relaxed, and lips slightly pouted.

what a baby :((((

you kiss his pout gently, careful not to wake him up,

and whisper that you love him back

and you knew he heard you because his fists tightened on the back of your shirt and a small smile adorned his features.

you really did love him and even though timing was horrible sometimes and schedules were such a hassle,

y’all were in it for the long run

and neither of you would let anyone else tell you guys otherwise.

[monohart]

bouquet purple.

ft. kim seungmin.

[ part 4/8 of spectrum blurbs! ]

[ 3pm ]

“who is hanna and why is she asking for your shirt size?”

you stood onto your bed and raised his phone high up, out of his reach.

it was the afternoon. you were browsing through his phone when a notification from ‘hanna’ rendered you confused.

“calm down, calm down!” he yelled as you threatened to throw his phone out the window. “baby please, let me explain!”

you look at him and let him sit you back down, among the scattered pages of his neat study notes.

“hanna is the student council president from my school. she was going to get me a new senior hoodie.”

“why? what’s wrong with your old one?” you tugged on the collar of the piece of clothing you wore. it was none other than said hoodie.

“it’s like it isn’t even mine anymore.”

you did feel a bit selfish for stealing his senior hoodie, but then whenever you ‘borrow’ it for the weekend, you notice that it really smelt just like him. so over time, you learnt ways to hide it from him when he comes looking.

“i’ll just get another one.”

“no, it costs too much.”

“i’ll pay for it,” he gestures to his hoodie on you. “just think of this as a gift.”

“no,” you mumble under your breath. “because then you won’t wash this one for me and it won’t smell like you anymore... and wearing this always made me feel warm and safe and it always made me think of you and i like thinking of you.”

his face lights up and he discards his phone to the side.

“say that again?”

“no i won’t. i’m still angry at you.”

he throws his arms around you and you fall together on top of all his notes, which didn’t seem to bother him at all.

“gosh, you’re so cute.”

he presses a soft kiss on your lips as you writhe in protest. he coos at you as you scrunch your face up into what resembled an angry pug.

“oh my gosh, how can you be so cute??”

he squishes your cheeks together with his warm hands.

“i love you. so much.”