tiny monster

hi i'm p**** and im trying my best

[monscarisaac]

hi i'm now mcrposting @messwithlove if that's your jam

xo

[monscarisaac]

inside friend | 3.8k | reddie amputee eddie, a dog named alexis neiers, + a bonus side of cottagecore 🚲!

“I’m at peak freshness, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Richie sniffs, rolls his ankles to make the bones pop and crack. Eddie, for his part, bites at the meat of Richie’s pec through his t-shirt. “Ow. I mean, silver linings, right? I could be somewhere horrible on tour and not here with you, like—like Cedar Rapids. Or Fort Lauderdale.”

Or, Eddie and Richie quarantine together.

[favoriteliar-archive]

JACK DYLAN GRAZER as FRASER WILSON in WE ARE WHO WE ARE (2020)

[lesbian-karolina]

eddie + subtext that makes you go hmm

[jensuisdraws]

This fic added like 10 years to my life, give it some love

[requirings]

he’s gonna post this online to prove that yes, his husband does have a tight body and a cool chest scar

[requirings]

about to perform his best show yet

[hyrude]

richie tozier fires his straight ghostwriter and hires me. here’s his set

any over 40s in the house tonight? can we get the lights up on the crowd? houselights up, i wanna see some receding hairlines. you, with the crows’ feet, i have a question for you. what is it about hitting 40 that completely revolutionizes your internet history? used to be, id go on vacation for a weekend and i’d get a frantic call from pornhub because id been missing my thrice-daily dick appointments with the milf category and their site traffic was plummeting. now i watch porn sites once a week, as scheduled on my google calendar, just for those 2 seconds between when the page loads and your adblock kicks in, where you can still see the male enhancement drugs for sale in the sidebar. and i, like, think about it.

[hyrude]

the thing people ask me most since i came out, question i get the most is what my boyfriend thinks of my stand up, and the answer is he hates it. he’s never laughed at anything ive ever said and it is so hot. real yoko ono.

people always say that in a derogatory way, “oh, she’s a real yoko ono,” as if yoko ono wasnt right. imagine fucking a beatle while they were at the height of their international fame and then telling him his music was dogshit. she did what nobody else would. “but he doesn’t support your endeavors!” nothing could prove to me more that that i’m supported than if eddie’s rampant distaste for every word out of my mouth inadvertently results in my assassination. that’s how you know you’ve made it, if people want you dead. ive been writing that career goal in my diary, curly script in sparkle gel pen, since i was 6

[hyrude]

i want to take a second to be real with you guys, i want to apologize. ive been talking so much about my sex life tonight, which is crass, and it’s, yknow, lowbrow. it’s just that it’s new for me and im excited about it, right, but im sure you guys must be cringing. it’s alienating when someone’s happy about getting their dick wet and you’ve still never had sex, i know. i’ve been there. turns out, no one here has had sex before, actually. my stage presence attracts exclusively adult virgins, it’s true. we focus-grouped it. my agent gave me my demographic breakdown and i was flipping through the write-ups, looking at the age group graphic, the political lean. and when i got to the page titled sex, it just said “no.” not even one of you. that’s tough. it’s tough to relate when i fuck nonstop, and im sorry for rubbing it in

[hyrude]

my boyfriend and i recently moved in together, and it’s my first time living with somebody i’m in love with. stop clapping, okay, don’t praise me for no longer exclusively living with random strangers renting out their closets. really though, before now, even with other relationships, i was more of a “spend the night often, but not so often they start expecting you to pay utilities” kind of person. like, if you have to buy a second toothbrush, you’re in too deep. just put toothpaste on your finger, you know? honestly, never got the appeal of having the person who sees you naked also have access to your grocery list. 

but i’ve figured it out. me and eds move in together, right, and in the same day, we get into this explosive argument about the merits of hand-washing dishes, which i’m fucking around about and he’s not fucking around about even a little, and when he goes to sleep next to me, all 67 inches of him are still vibrating with raw gay fury. that’s why people live together. for the stability. sorry, not the stability, that’s not the right word. that makes it sound like i’m talking about finances or domesticity or some shit. i’m talking about knowing how you’re gonna die. 

it’s the same reason people buy those giant exotic snakes and let them sleep in their bed. they’re like “it loves me!” but you know when they bought that thing, they saw their past, present, and future, and they resigned themselves that it was for sure gonna eat them one day. you see an interview someone does about their big cuddly boa constrictor and then like two days later, the story’s: “snake owner found asphyxiated due to strangulation, sections of flesh missing.” you don’t go “oh no, what happened!” it’s a boa constrictor. its name is its job. anyway, eddie might love me, but when i die, it’s definitely because he killed me. i leave my clothes in the washer for like a whole day after i wash them, every single time. i know one day he’s gonna snap, and im cool with it

[draft-woruo]

I desperately want to interact with Reddie fandom but when I do I end up making stuff like this

[requirings]

Ask me if I’ve ever been in love.

Sequential thoughts; non-sequential memories.

[trashcanprince]

🍑 enjoy some very domestic reddie 🍑

[yenvengerberg]

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY MEME: [2/4] details → diego’s knives

[kxrxnoid]

The part where they gave up trying to kill each other and started to learn about each other, their hopes and fears *chef’s kiss*

[wickedpact]

The OG Squad + back of the neck touches

[hazelnutrosewaterpomegranate]

Hi my name is Nicolò di Genova and I come from Genoa (that’s how I got my name). I have a thousand yard stare that will pierce your soul to find the goodness in it and a lot of people tell me I look like an umarell (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to him but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I'm an immortal but nothing that lives lives forever. I have an incurably romantic soulmate. I'm also an ex-priest, and I used to live in the Middle East where my Eurocentric worldview was shattered (I'm thirty+). I’m a Catholic (in case you couldn’t tell) and I mostly wear my heart on my sleeve, some days litchrally. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my hoodies from there. For example today I was wearing a black hoodie with a matching vest and a longsword, tactical trousers and my wedding ring. I was wearing the kiss of l’amore della mia vita, sunblock, black sunglasses and the red blood of the men who hurt my husband. I was walking outside in South Sudan. It was breezy and dry and there was full sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of locals stared at me. I smiled at them and wished peace to be with them.

[halorvic]

leave me to my melodrama

[kristenbouchard]

i’m exclusively on this website for me and my mutuals monologuing into the void about whatever niche topic we each happen to be on this season. weirdos just absolutely waxing poetic about and demolishing the Thing they love at the same time with minimal expectation of engagement because no one else knows what the fuck they’re talking about. *chefs kiss* excellente content