Secondly, my social life is miserable. I hardly have any friends in Norwich and I don’t have a boyfriend. It’s lonely. I spent last Friday watching Love, Rosie with a glass of rosé and then ended up sobbing (not just because of the film) and this Saturday evening just gone watching soppy films (the new Cinderella and Friends with Benefits) and drinking rosé. I drank 3/4 of the bottle in one evening… Safe to say that things aren’t looking good.
Seeing as my friend’s girlfriend was visiting this weekend, I did try not to spend the most recent past Saturday evening on my own by inviting a work colleague over to watch a film and order a takeaway to have a girls’ night in. This clearly didn’t happen. It sucks that I don’t have any true friends in Norwich apart from my housemate because when her girlfriend comes to visit I end up spending the weekend alone. It’s great fun. Of course it would be fine if I had a special someone to spend my free time with but that is proving fairly difficult at present.
I have been single since August 2013 and I’ve had tinder (dating app) since the end of February this year. I’ve been on a few dates. Admittedly, I’ve lost count of how many dates I’ve been on but it’s very exhausting, frustrating, upsetting. Take your pick of emotions…I clearly thought I was stronger than I actually am because this constant rejection is really getting me down and it’s obviously doing wonders for my self-esteem. Fair enough when things don’t work because there’s no attraction, no spark but when it’s someone you take a liking to and think something could happen… wham! It’s bye bye.
My friend is always telling me, as any friend would, that it’s not me and that I’ll find someone eventually. I’m seriously starting to think that it’s definitely me though. After all, what else could it be after all this time? The problem is that I don’t know where I’m going wrong. I don’t know how to fix it.
I’m not completely dramatic, I’m not going to say that I’ll never find anyone and I’ll be by myself forever but I have a feeling that by the time I meet someone it’ll be in my mid-late thirties or older, by which time I’ll be too old to have kids anyway. When will this tiring game end?
There’s one thing that will get me through: strength!