The Deal of Patriarchy
My earlier work was the Matriarchy Rules the Patriarchy; a piece talking about the Story of Persephone centering on the battle between Mother and Father, with the Mother being victorious over the rights of her children. I said that I would come back to discuss Persephone herself later, and this is later.
I loved this story when I was little. However, I was unsure as to the meaning behind my infatuation with a girl who gets kidnapped and for all purposes is the damsel of the story while I was more into the Warrior female archetype story as a young girl. This always puzzled me and after decades of constantly going back to the original text to re-read this ancient tale, my perspective of it has shifted a multitude of times to see a holistic viewpoint of the story. Mainly by asking the most obvious question,” Why did Persephone go completely without a voice during the most important decision of her life?”
To reiterate the importance of her marriage prospects, remember that Persephone is only given her individual name after she’s been married off, for the majority of the story she is known as Kore. Kore literally means young maiden; from the beginning this girl has no identity other than being a young girl. After her marriage she is given individuality that matches her new title. If she had married anyone else her name would be different. Yet, she is given no say as to any of it at all. Why? Why does her Father, Mother, and even Hades have more say in this decision Kore?
A few reasons as to why this is that is based on assumption what could be going on in this story; she could actually be a young maiden that just became of marrying age (10 years old at the youngest). But the other most accurate reason is that her voice did not matter because she was not seen as a full person in which matters of her marriage needed her approval. Her desire or want for marriage was never considered because she as an individual did not matter to her Father Zeus or her to-be husband Hades. This was a matter of commerce; Zeus paying off his debts to his brother with his daughter being the commodity. What happened to Persephone after she was sold off and sent to the Underworld goes unsaid. Whatever Hades did or did not do to Persephone was none of anyone's business because she belonged to him now. We as women assume that nothing bad is happening to Kore/Persephone while she is with her. It’s not that we just blindly assume that everything is paradise in the underworld, we have to believe that nothing bad is happening to her. We have to believe that Hades is just a misunderstood, stoic, reserved, loving, gentleman that would love and respect Persephone and her personhood.
Why?
What would women have to face if that was not the truth? That the truth of men is that they care nothing for your personhood and making sure you are protected & provided for like the patriarchal dictates. The worst part of this realization is that your own father is on this scheme. They are the ones who promise you as a little girl that they will protect you from the scary monsters- the dragons, but the reality is that they are the ones making deals with those monsters and selling you to them for the highest bidder. I know this is true, because we men justify their bad behavior towards women daily. Even the so-called “good men” get quiet or even defensive against you, the women, when you speak out against their actions. We see documentaries and read history books of young girls being married off to men 3x their ages, they can pump them full of kids till it literally kills them. We see stories of child prostitues and 11 year old girls being raped by men in their own family. We see this story of Persephone everywhere, so why are we giving it a false narrative? We know what was happening to Kore in the Underworld, we see it happening in real time on the news. We will see more of it with the overturning of Roe V. Wade. We know, but we willfully remain ignorant to it.
Why?
I ask this question to myself as I have just recently come to this realization at 27 years old. How and why did I ignore the main problem of this story? That it was the Father selling off his daughter to his brother to repay his debt that was the main problem with this story and this is the great deal of Patriarchy that women must adhere to. You are a bargaining chip and not a full human being because you are a woman. I realized this after I saw it for myself in my father. I saw how abusive he was, how he hated my independence and my outspokenness and tried to weaponize it against me ( even though he was the one that initially fueled this independence within me). It devastated me, frightened me, and then enraged me. I was enraged to the point where I wanted to commit murder. I truly have no one to champion me. That is the reality that I believe most women and girls don’t want to admit this truth themselves. Most women would fall into despair and anguish, they’re already falling into it now with the growing number of men being affiliated with the “Red pill” and “Free Men” agenda causing men to get even more violent against women than they already were.
So what is a young girl to do?
According to the story, she should look to her mother. Did not Demeter champion her daughter, and have her return to her? Yet, women don’t look at that in the way that it is written, and instead attack Demeter. It is women who called Demeter overbearing, possessive, covetous, and jealous of Persephone for her beauty and youth, so she hides her away and rejects male advances towards her. Where did they get that from? Their own mothers, I suspect. The Gods that asked for Persephone in marriage to Demeter (Ares, Hermes, Apollo, and Hephaestus) were not good choices of husbands if anyone has bothered to read even one story about their misadventures in relationships. So, was it really Demeter being covetous or her seeing men for the men that they are? She is older, wiser, she knows the games that men play, she isn’t motivated by lust to play the game and bargain that girls do. She knows what men will do to her daughter if they take her away. This is different from modern women and her mothers. The modern day mother doesn’t champion their daughter, she helps to set them up for this patriarchal exchange. She will blame the daughter for the men’s behavior. She will sit idly while the men in the house sexually abuse the daughter from a young age. She will push and shame the daughter into marriage and be jealous of her daughter's accomplishments in life. Your mother is not Demeter, the Matriarchal Mother. Your mother would not bring an entire civilization to the brink of annihilation for your freedom. Your mother won’t even do it for herself. I believe most women cannot fantham having a mother like this, so they must twist the story to fit the Patriarchal mother that we are all used to living with.
On a side note, I had a question that I brought up about why Kore’s name was changed to Persephone? We all know that Persephone translates to the bringer of death, however in the story, it was Demeter who brought death to the Pantheon, so why give that name to Kore? Unless it’s Kore who now decides if the Pantheon is met with death again. Her mother brings famine/winter when Persephone is not around, so if Hades refuses to let Persephone leave the Underworld, then the whole Pantheon suffers. If Persephone tells Demeter that Hades is cheating on her like all his brothers due to their wives, belittling her, or mistreating her, the Pantheon suffers. This would explain the lovely dynamic shared between Hades and Persephone; the whole Patheon is now compelled to keep Hades in line for fear of Demeter’s wraith. Demeter’s wraith is tempered by the state of her daughter. The entire state of the Pantheon rests with her wellbeing, so calling her the bringer of death is appropriate. This is how Matriarchy wins.
