The Words Don't Change.

This blog's purpose is basically to satisfy my love for music. Hope you can get something out of it as well.

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‘3 [Deeply, deeply relaxed...]’ by ESPRIT 空想 ~relaxing the best way I can~ #vaporwave

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Song of the Day: Today wasn't that great. I've been feeling pretty sick physically and emotionally. I tried to cleanse a lot of the negativity I was feeling so I didn't really talk to anyone today. I did a lot of the usual small talk but i didn't talk to the people closest to me here. I guess I just needed some alone time. I walked really far and went on an adventure. I ended up at some vast golf course and laid in the grass and gazed into the stars. I'd go insane without my affinity with nature. Lucky Tomato is a gentle and serene track by Laserdisc Visions. The peace I feel within this song mirrors the inner peace I want to obtain. Lucky Tomato sounds like a dearly missed friend.

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Song of the Day: I recently purchased all of Saint Pepsi's album hit vibes and its just the go-to feel good album I've heard in a while. It fuses a mixture of polished electronic beats with a funky disco feel. I can not get over the sampling Saint Pepsi uses throughout this song. Throwback to the N64 or whaaat? Better is just the type of song that makes you want to get up on your feet and get your groove on. Even if you don't got the moves the spirit of dance is just ever so infectious. Its great to have songs that just give off some Hit Vibes and let you just feel fun and free. 

"I can make it better for you"

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Song of the Day: The soothing voice of Jonny Pierce always evokes the buried emotions within my heart and soul. The newest single from Encyclopedia is a mellow ballad to lost love and passion. The bass line and rough synth sounds fuse together to create a unique symphony. When i first heard the track I wasn't too intrigued but upon further listening it really grew on me and I really enjoy it. The lyrics are so painfully real that they strike a beautifully bittersweet chord within me. I feel as Jonny and Jacob can just see into every aspect of my being and craft these melodies to put me at ease and bring sense into everything. This song helped me realize what was holding me back in a certain romance that had been consuming me. I had to face some painful consequences for my own actions today and now i can accept them because of the understanding of my own feeling The Drums always seem to provide me with. 

"Its too hard to begin when you know it will end"

"I know that I need love, but I can't pretend"

"One day the moon will set for the last time.."

"Remember when you first touched my hand, we sparkled inside at the same time, and now it doesn't even matter."

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Song Of The Day: This is actually more like song of my life. The 'synth'etic feel of nostalgia created by Macintosh Plus is like no other. As I transitioned into a completely brand new part of my life this song was able to take me a back to every blissful moment I had ever felt. I remember driving my car for the last time before I left El Paso and as I blasted this song i was overwhelmed by a bittersweet rush of emotions and it let me cry out every tear I'd been holding back. This song has been playing in my head everyday since I've moved to Austin. Macintosh Plus establishes the whole genre of vaporware with this one song. This chopped and screwed beauty is definitely an all time favorite. 420 is also the best for 420.

"I've made up my mind,                                                                                        time is running out, make a move!                                                                                                                                                        

Oh, we can go on. Don't you understand its all in your head?"

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Song of the Day: This past summer I've been completely and utterly obsessed with both no doubt and Gwen Stefani. The artistry always surrounding her voice is flawless and astonishing. No band compares really. No doubt has done everything from ska/reggae to rock to r n' b to pop. "Return Of Saturn" holds a special place in my heart because i grew up listening to this album. This was probably my first experience with genuinely good music. Gwen puts so much feeling into every lyric she sings. I feel myself and my own feelings in her voice. Nothing is realer than a No Doubt song. the relatability and emotion is unmatchable.

"If we met tomorrow for the first time                                                               Would it start all over again? Would I try to make you mine?"

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Song of the Day: I was browsing through my music and came across this song. Elephants As Big As Whales is one of the saddest songs I've ever known. I'm a sucker for sad songs so I love it. PlayRadioPlay! is more of a electronic indie pop artist but this acoustic ballad pulls at the heart strings with the personal lyrics and soothing transcendence of emotion and power. I've basically been listening to this song since middle school. I find it really relate-able to many feelings I've been feeling.

"Your name appears at such an alarming rate in this town, I can't escape it."

"We've both got better things to do"

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Song Of The Day: Wow It's been forever. So much has changed too. My best friend, my first love is gone. The summer tore us apart and not even our friendship survived. We can't be anything anymore now. Lately I've been missing him. we message each other but I know it can never be the way it used to be. We can never love each other the way we used to. I feel like a fool for getting excited when we talk, for wishing I could see him, for admitting how much I miss him, for still loving him. So much damage has been done, but that doesn't mean the good has to be forgotten. fthrsn has become one of my favorite artist recently. This song captures the essence of the first feelings of love, feelings that can never be forgotten and always cherished.

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Song Of The Day: Nostalgia at it's finest. Saosin's old stuff takes me back to the point in time when I was barley beginning to really love music and good music at that. The past is always nice to look back at. The way things have changed fascinates me. Nothing is the same anymore at all. My best friend has become my boyfriend. But he doesn't love me the same way he used to. Nothing is sadder than being a hopeless romantic and gaining the one thing you wanted more than anything only to find the love isn't as sweet. The romance between us now is nonexistent. Change and time have taken their toll on us. Maybe I can just never be satisfied but I really don't think that's the case. I should be happy but I can't force myself to be.

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Song Of The Day: I don't want to remember all the things that made me happy before. Mostly because I don't want to let go of them. But that's what I'm trying to do. I just want a fresh start. I don't wanna keep continuing to compare the present to the past. Let's not fix things but instead build things.                                       

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Song Of The Day: I was alone most of the weekend. All day I didn't do much. I saw people at night though for not the best purposes. I'm just trying to get over this whole deal with my best friend. He's changed. The guy I realized I loved seems gone. He's still my best friend but honestly I feel like he could care less about me. Even if things turned around and he tried actually being with me like he used to (very unlikely). I don't think I could be with him. All these feelings he has for this guy that fucked him up, have been used against me. Not purposely I hope but also without much thought. He fucked with my feeling and he wants to make me wait. Even though the claims he makes of me doing the same to him are true, that doesn't make it okay. If he knew how much all that hurt him, why would he want to inflict the same pain on me? His heart isn't filled with love for me anymore and even if it slightly was still. I don't want to share his love. I'd want him to be all mine and me be all his. That's not happening though. So I need to get past this.

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Song Of The Day: Everything feels bitter. I just want to rise above it all. I'm just really tired though, tired of everything. I keep being over analytical of everything that goes on and of myself. I keep hoping one day everything will just come together. I wouldn't even mind if it didn't last very long just as long as things felt better for a while. My mind's a void at this point of time. The Tallest Man On Earth has been all I've been listening to lately. Kristian Matsson portrays such emotion so beautifully in each of his song it brings me to tears.

So now we're dancing through the garden And what a garden I have made And now that death will grow my jasmine I find it soothing I'm afraid

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Song Of The Day: I'm going through this period time where I'm just really mentally weird. I haven't been talking much. I feel uncomfortable just about all the time, even with my best friends. I feel as if I'm always seeing myself from other people's perspective and I don't enjoy what I see. I'm really mean to myself actually. I just wanna get rid of these mental barriers so I can enjoy life. I'm tired of getting lost in my mind or thoughts. It seems nicer to be in reality. I've got this whole Alice in Wonderland vibe going on. I even started replaying Alice: Madness Returns tonight. So this Jefferson Airplane cover by Shannon And The Clams seemed to suit today. Anything Shannon And The Clams do is just really gritty with an awesome surf rock feel to it. I love everything they do.

And if you go chasing rabbits And you know you're going to fall Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar Has given you the call to Call Alice When she was just small

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Song Of The Day: This is all I want. I just want to be able to know what these songs are about. I wanna hear love songs and smile instead of getting teary-eyed. It just sucks how the combination of certain people and events have led me to genuinely believe there is something wrong with me. Even the one person who's "loved" me since forever isn't satisfied by me. I hate that I fell in love with him because ever since I did he's just been messing with my feelings and hurting me. He had the nerve to convince me things were actually getting better. He kissed me, held my hand, and told me he loved me while in reality he was depressed over a guy that hurt him merely days before he decided to kiss me and try being with me. And you know, fuck. It made me happy. so happy. But I could see wasn't as happy. I don't get why he did that in the first place then. I guess to try and get over the other guy, but that never works. I just never thought him of all people would do that to me. Today after a day of hand-holding and kissing at school as we walked home I asked if we could watch "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." He said yes and seemed excited but then immediately got sad and said " aw. no never mind." when I asked why, he told me he didn't want to talk about it. I could tell it was that guy on his mind. It broke my heart and I told him I felt like his rebound. I told him to sort things things out. He agreed without hesitation and left. It upsets me how right I was and how easily he let me go. I can't wait to actually be in love and feel valuable. I'm tired of feeling worthless and sad. I was actually happy the past few days. It was taken from me so fast. Now I'm even sadder than before.

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Song Of The Day: I barley heard Clash The Truth today and immediately loved it. Today's my last day of spring break so I was pretty bummed the entire day. Hearing this song kind of lifted my spirits though. It's upbeat and chanting like chorus made me smile. These  past few days I've been in a weird mood in an effort to try and better myself and my life or atleast gain a sense of understanding to all of it. I've been researching meditation and concentration techniques. I think I wanna become a Buddhist. Nevertheless hearing this song kind of motivated me to keep up with these efforts. I'm really bad at sticking to things and going through with them. Let's change that.

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Song Of The Day:I went running today for the first time in a long time. The weather was beautiful. The sky was dimly lit by the sun barley beginning to rise. Oh, Why was the first song that came on my Zune as I started running. As the song kept going the more I felt my emotions stirring. By the end of the song I had to wipe tears from eyes while I continued running. Balam Acab is enchanting. It builds the whole through into a beautiful finale. The sounds and vocals fit perfectly. Its actually quite powerful. Oh, Why is a masterpiece.