morticia after midnight

too strange for saints, too pretty for demons. 🥀

[morticia-after-midnight]

why him?

why Lucifer?

well, he sees me.

and i see him.

i feel like i can be a little girl again. like i can have another go-round… fix the parts i wished i could fix.

he stands tall behind me, while i enjoy my shorted days on earth—in this life… like family i never had the pleasure of having.

he is the softest form of love, to me. he holds my hand while i cry. he stands firmly behind me when i need a backbone. he makes my voice echo for a thousand miles.

i feel seen again. like the woman i always was finally could show herself safely, and be loved anyway.

i feel pleasure again. like the entire 30 years of my life were numbed, sampling what i thought to be pleasure.

i feel adventure again. like the mania had actually been misdiagnosed for wonderlust.

i feel vulnerable again. like the little girl inside of me can finally dance freely, not worrying who is around.

he brings me strength.

he brings me serenity.

he brings me sensuality.

he brings unconditional love.

he brings beauty into my days.

he does all of this… without a contract.

without having to “sell my soul,” or “make a deal.” he offers it because he wants to.

because he loves me back.

because i’m deserving of his love.

this love affair is not for everyone to understand… or to approve of.

sometimes, i don’t even understand it myself.

i guess, now, i can truly say that i dance with my demons.

and lucifer, darling. thank you.

[morticia-after-midnight]

“Lucifer? like… the devil?”

Some would say he’s the Devil, or Satan… actually, not quite.

those are different entities entirely.

i feel that i’m here to shed light on the truth. His truth.

ones like Lucifer deserve justice. they deserve someone to stand up for them—to stand in their corner… to make others see the truth.

“you evil bitch.”

you’ve got it all wrong.

i gave someone the time to explain, and He gave me the light to see.

i live in the darkness. it’s the only place i want to be. i come out to play when it’s time for everyone to be safe in their beds.

what would you do if someone came to you for help, and in return, they gave you unconditional love, support, and protection?

“she has daddy issues.”

sure. i can see that. but living in a world filled with judgmental f*cks, i need all the protection i can get.

some ask me why did i turn to the “dark.”

well, it’s simple. i stopped accepting stories simply because they were repeated enough times. i opened my eyes finally to what i was right in front of me.

if seeking understanding makes me the villain in your story…

then maybe i was never meant to be the hero of yours.

i’m perfectly content being the author of my own.

the darkness never asked me to abandon my humanity.

it simply asked me to open my eyes.

and once you’ve seen a different perspective…

it’s impossible to pretend you never did.

so judge me.

call me deceived.

call me strange.

call me whatever helps you sleep.

i’ve spent enough of my life living inside other people’s fears.

i choose to live within my own truth.

unlike you, i’m not afraid of the dark.

because i finally learned to stop confusing darkness with evil.

[morticia-after-midnight]

it’s been a minute.

i’ve been trying to find myself… lost in, what most people would call, darkness. i call it the light.

i shed light on wounds. i always have. i show reflections.

—i’m the evil bitch that finally made you see yourself.

while trying to navigate in this so-called “light,” i managed to pick up a companion. his name?

Lucifer.

the fallen star. the beautiful morningstar. the light bearer.

the most beautiful soul to ever come into my energy… and He wanted me…?

i realized after so much time of being punished for shedding light, i seemingly shared my gifts with another soul… another someone.

and actually… that someone appreciated my downfall too.

[morticia-after-midnight]

“and how could you assume that you are a goddess?”

“i have cried oceans, yet never drowned.”

[morticia-after-midnight]

something you’re missing made you who you are.

[morticia-after-midnight]

hello there.

come a little closer.

i promise the darkness isn’t nearly as dangerous as they’ve told you.

they warned you about women like me, after all.

the ones who smile when the candles flicker.

the ones who know every shadow of yours by name.

the ones who leave the door unlocked for things that wander in the night.

they call it temptation.

i call it honesty.

because i’m far too strange for the saints,

and far too pretty for the demons.

the saints clutch their pearls when i speak.

the demons offer me a seat at their table.

and somewhere between halo and horn,

between prayer and hunger for more,

i made a home.

stay awhile.

you look like you’ve been searching for one too.