blog title

Nice to see you! This is miscellaneous, politics, and fandom. INFJ. I'm on Ao3 at the same URL. Akoiromantic pansexual grey gender and vegan, any pronouns :)

[misehry]

sext: i don’t ignore you as much as i ignore other people

[striders]

not to like make a huge fucking post about shit that’s been talked to death but it really genuinely scares me how many straight girls think it’s normal to just… not like your partner. like they think it’s normal and okay for their boyfriends to openly think they’re stupid and annoying and to be totally derisive about their interests and for them not to be friends or have things in common or enjoy each other’s personalities or encourage their interests? you are supposed to be friends with the person you’re in love with. you are supposed to want to talk to them about the things that make them happy. you do not have to settle for people who treat your entire personality as a burden outside of what you do to cater to them.

[mothcomrade-deactivated20251025]

everyone reblog and tag ur top three fruits i want to know

[prideprejudce]

here’s a hard pill to swallow: abuse does not just exclusively occur in romantic or family relationships. friends can be just as toxic to your physical and mental wellbeing as a partner or a family member. also, the aftermath of being in an abusive friendship can be just as traumatizing as any other abusive relationship. don’t boo me i’m right 

[prideprejudce]

for some reason people don't know this but toxic friends can mirror all the same behaviors as seen in an abusive romantic partner. i will use my own story of my ex-high school best friend who abused me for several years. signs of abuse include but are not limited to:

Humiliating or embarrassing you - my ex-best friend LOVED to try and make me squirm in any way possible to see my reaction. once she went up to a guy and told him i had a crush on him to watch me struggle to explain myself

Unreasonable jealousy - if i so much as went to hang out with any of my other friends i would have to let my ex-best friend know beforehand. i pretty much had to get her permission to see other people or she would be convinced that i was ‘ditching her forever’

Refusing to communicate - if she was ever angry with me or upset she would never tell me that so we could talk about it. instead, she would ignore me or respond to all my texts with ‘k’ or ‘ya’ and i would have to struggle for hours to get her to tell me what was wrong

Ignoring or excluding you - she would ignore me for weeks at a time as a ‘punishment’ knowing that it would eat me up inside wondering what i did wrong. i still remember spending nights wide awake crying in bed because i didn’t know what to do 

Mean jokes or constantly making fun of you - she would constantly poke fun at my appearance and personality to where my self-confidence plummeted. god help me if i ever said anything about her though

Saying things like “If you don’t _____, I will_____.” - she would constantly threaten to kill herself if i didn't do what she wanted

Guilt trips - she never apologized once to me in our seven-plus years of being friends. not once. every time we argued i would be the one who apologized in the end. once when i stood up to her and called her out on treating me like crap she would make up a story of how her life was miserable and that i was making things worse 

Isolating you from friends and family - been mentioned before but she was extremely jealous of all my other relationships and would override my plans with other people on purpose and would guilt trip me if i still went to see them

 Domination and control - also mentioned before but i needed her permission on everything. if i joined any group or extracurricular activity without her knowing she would be furious   

Extreme moodiness - after ignoring me for weeks she would contact me out of the blue and act as if nothing happened. she would also refuse to talk about why she ignored me for so long and did not care if my mental health suffered from it

anyway, abusive friendships need to be acknowledged more because they are not only extremely common but also very damaging to someone’s mental health. i personally had to go through years of therapy to unlearn the guilt and self-hatred that my ex-friend helped instill in me. stay safe yall

[prideprejudce]

a GREAT addition from @mememic-bry

#also- because sometimes I think people throw around words like ‘abuse’ a little carelessly on this site #people who aren’t abusive sometimes might do one or two things on this list #because people are flawed #and sometimes we screw up and hurt each other and it’s ouch and it sucks #if your friend does one of these things once they are not an abuser and please don’t bring it up by saying ‘you’re being abusive’ #instead say ‘hey this specific thing you did hurt me and here’s why it was p stressful’ #and a good friend will hear you out. maybe they will get defensive or sad (cause who *likes* being called out let’s be real) #but ultimately they will listen to you. they will own up to their actions. #and they will make a genuine effort to not act in that way that hurt you again

#ON THE OTHER HAND #an abusive person will do several of these things *repeatedly* and *consistently*. it is a pattern woven in your relationship #and it just keeps happening #and if you try to bring it up they will deny any ownership of their actions #they will either say they never did those things OR that they *DID* but it’s not their fault #every single time they will gaslight you or make themselves the victim and refuse to hold themselves accountable for hurting you #that’s an abuser. that’s a toxic friend 

[i-am-a-fish]

It’s healthy coping mechanism o’ clock 🕗, go do something nice for yourself that you’ll feel good about!!

[ampervadasz]

[pearlmarley]

😂

[gaynonbinarytheaterkid]

there’s really no “passing” when you’re nb, it’s more like “aiming for confusion”

[xerneas--anti]

i get top notch euphoria when people have to ask my gender

[the-memedaddy]

[sashaahoneycarter-deactivated20]

HONESTLY

[sefazdedoida-deactivated2021111]

[birthdaypigeon]

could u imagine if ppl talked about catholicism the same way they talked about like… indigenous ppl’s religions….

[birthdaypigeon]

girl in horror movie holding a bible open: “according to legend, a mob tortured a half-man, half-god, and nailed him to a wooden cross, leaving him to starve to death. But days later, on this very night, they found he had clawed his way out of the grave. Now those who believe lie in wait for him to rise again, To honour him, they have weekly gatherings where they chant and sing, and at the end of it they eat his flesh and blood.”

girl’s friend: “wow.. thats so creepy…”

horror movie jock: “it’s only a myth, don’t worry”

[radiomaxwell]

so hey who else was taught as a kid that “”””wanting attention”””” in any way was wrong and shameful and has grown up unable ask for help or support even in great distress/suffering

[prideofyunmeng]

Parent: why do you never come to me for help

(two days later)

Me: I need help with something

Parent: CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY WHY CAN’T YOU DO ANYTHING BY YOURSELF GOD YOU’RE SO-

Me: never mind

[silvernis]

And don’t forget the You Can Tell Me Anything (Except Things I Don’t Want to Hear)™.

[bolaires-mask]

Bonus round of You Can Tell Me Anything (But If I Don’t Like It You’re In Big Trouble Even If You’re Asking For Help)

[trauma-suggestion]

I’m Always Here For You! (Until You Upset Me In Any Way)™.

[fish-food-s]

I’m lucky to have such a well behaved kid! (Until you make one tiny slip up and I yell at you for being dysfunctional)™

[silver-tongues-blog]

i’ll help you if you ask (unless its something that i consider easy in which case i’ll make you feel bad and think youre a dumbass for not knowing it even though its something i never taught you)

[notagiraffe]

It’s a not exactly the same but “you’re such a good kid for being quiet and not bothering me” produces a similar effect

[kantstudies]

i wrote half an essay in 20mins today when it’s not even due for another 4 weeks, reblog this to have a productivity lightning bolt strike you like it did me today

[joosgf]

@warducky

[tibby]

there are no words

[tomfordvelvetorchid-deactivated]

Grow the FUCK up and learn how to communicate

[koirakoirana]

time is hard

[lame-express]

Mood

[sadiepickles]

“Don’t use your mental illness as an excuse” means “Change your behavior, apologize, and do better next time.” 

“Don’t use your mental illness as an excuse” DOES NOT mean “Your symptoms are your fault, your disorder is not even an explanation, and you are a bad person if you behave less than neurotypical”

[lordmeowdemort]

[heydondon]

How can you NOT add the picture of Plastique!?