moth(?)

(previously blotted-alexithymia and inkblot_echo, for some signatures on my art)

[moth-with-a-migraine]

`When creating, bend familiarity.`

(Quote is a deviation from something I heard in an art tutorial a while ago)

Who am I?

Yo, yo! Call me Moth, but I'm open to nicknames so long as it's appropriate (aka dont be weirdos pls)

I'm AuDHD, AroAce, and largely gender apathetic (I think) so any/all (catch my vibes and throw em at me, basically)

I hope to use this blog as a means to store certain important bits of my creative progress, to remind myself that, at the end of the day, I'm not a fraud ^^

(Second blog @nameless-exorcist)

What do I do?

I'm an aspiring author, artist, and am currently studying psychology ! Along with that, music is one of my many passions, and I love to sing and write my own songs sometimes (though they certainly wouldn't be played at a show just yet...) and messing with wordplay until it fits.

Any inspirations or interests?

My inspirations are from all over the place, notable ones being FNaF, MOTM, TWST, and the people I'm lucky to have in my life

I enjoy the gritty and gorey details of different works of art, and am only recently opening my eyes to all of the different horror genres out there aside from the ones I've personally created around ! After all, horror is drawing on an innate facet of human existence, and I cant help but appreciate it despite how much it scares me, too (possibly because of it.)

My goal

In the long run, I hope to tell a good story, as it has always been my dream to delve deeper into the human mind to uncover what we feel and why. Being AuDHD definitely hasn't helped with that, but I'm not giving up on it lmao

(Will probably come back to clean this up later)

[moth-with-a-migraine]

MY SON‼️‼️‼️

MY SON-CHILD IS HERE‼️‼️‼️

Saw a makeup look on Pinterest, and I just had to expand on it ...

Say hello to Wren, my homunculus :3

[moth-with-a-migraine]

Heyyy, what's uppp, it's meee /ref

Uh anywho, my project, my little homunculi. They are coming to fruition, and will experience the horrors in due time.

For anyone who is like 'wtf moth are you high' probably, but high on vibes and the carnal urge to create stuff with my own two monkey hands. The parasites are in my head and I cant get em out

Also, from now on, posts about this specific story I'm talking about will be labelled with these tags #nameless exorcist #wayward #nameless exorcist: wayward

This is cuz I wanna keep track of my stuff a lil better

[moth-with-a-migraine]

Also, I have a sort of personal mini series going on called Hamartia*, where it focuses in on smaller parts of the bigger world I want to tell stories about, and NE:W was going to be a much shorter story because of it, not to mention in book style rather than comic style

These Hamartia stories can be as short as a page or as long as 500, but I felt like NE:W deserved it's own thing, so it is branched off from the general format of the names being 'Hamartia: (word)'

*Hamartia: a fatal flaw, inherent defect, or tragic error in judgement that leads to the downfall of a protagonist or character

[moth-with-a-migraine]

Heyyy, what's uppp, it's meee /ref

Uh anywho, my project, my little homunculi. They are coming to fruition, and will experience the horrors in due time.

For anyone who is like 'wtf moth are you high' probably, but high on vibes and the carnal urge to create stuff with my own two monkey hands. The parasites are in my head and I cant get em out

Also, from now on, posts about this specific story I'm talking about will be labelled with these tags #nameless exorcist #wayward #nameless exorcist: wayward

This is cuz I wanna keep track of my stuff a lil better

[moth-with-a-migraine]

I saw a pigeon today, it was moving forwards, then back again, and repeating this a few times as we rushed past it in the car.

I thought 'oh mood lol' until I remembered that we were on a road, and it was moving towards the road, then hesitating, going back, then rinse and repeat.

I initially viewed it as a metaphor for hesitating generally, but it slowly became a metaphor about hesitating to give up.

I like that pigeon. It dont even know that it's gonna become a story.

[moth-with-a-migraine]

Got two new pieces (technically), one unedited and one edited for vibes, as well as a mini story I've yet to work on properly (all below the cut ^^)

Unedited

Gets the idea across and is pretty good anyway, but not quite giving the vibe I wanted (and Krita was being a bitch to work with >:[ )

Edited

I feel like this version reads a lot more as dramatic and serious, compared to the more muted stuff of the unedited version, especially because of thE FUCKIN' EYESSSS I LOVE

But yehhh... Minecraft oc again :,D

Storytime now

-------------------

Cold. So cold.

Why am I cold? This doesnt feel right.

Or maybe it is, and I'm just weird for thinking that.

Dark, too... I dont like the dark. I wanna get out.

(The boy reaches up, feeling something above him and pushing with jerky, uncoordinated motions until it gives way. The lid of his coffin slides off, clattering loudly to the floor.)

A light...? Okay, maybe I'm doing something right. And, oh-

(A loose bouquet rustles as the boy moves his legs, many different flowers, all with conflicting meanings behind them.)

...flowers? Why would there be flowers..? Oh, the light got brighter. What if I..

(He sits up, hitting his head on a stone wall beside him as he gathers himself.)

Ouch. Ugh, where..? Huh.

(The boy finally sits up properly, finding himself inside a stone building, sitting up on what felt like some sort of shrine, if the mixture of long-dead and yesterday-fresh flowers were anything to go by, ruffled by the coffin lid's less-than-graceful descent. Strangely enough, the flowers that sat around his legs and body were fresh, falling away from his body as he slowly sat up.)

Smells... nice, I think. Is this what nice feels like? It's pleasant.

(He holds the bouquet close, looking down to the ground and getting on his knees to crawl out of the coffin, falling flat on his face and tumbling down the stairs to the coffin due to keeping a hand on the bouquet to his chest.)

Dammit... that hurt, I think. At least these smell nice... flowers, I think...

Hm. Now.. where am I, anyway..?

I'm still so cold.

[moth-with-a-migraine]

New poem ! This one's about a Minecraft oc I have with my friends, who may or may not end up turning into a general oc...

May not make a lot of sense, but hey, it dont have to :D

Eyes Don't Lie (And His Are Closed)

Sinking, slowly,

Dying, surely,

He cannot look behind.

For if eyes dont lie,

He cannot find

The truth with a closed pair.

Pockets of flowers,

The dying powers,

His head and chest much the same.

To the ground, he'll stay

'Neath flowers and hay,

Weighing the choices he has.

A quiet child,

Not silent, nor mild,

Just knowing when to speak.

And to those above

Whom offered him love,

He'll weep, quiet all the same.

He does not feel,

Not anything real,

But gods, he really does wish.

Yet his prophecy states,

Alone on that day,

A funeral fit for none.

Rain shall fall,

A mere stepping stool

Was the boy without a name.

Yet as he walks,

Across fields, like chalk,

Petals fly on the wind.

And he will take pride,

Not a common thing, he finds,

Through solemn lands, he travels.

His soul, now bared

As if he cared

For those who gave him hope.

This boy is lost,

Eyes wrapped in cloth

As he stepped from a flower bed.

Dirt beneath nails,

Moths, worms, and snails

Sit and await his return.

For the creatures all know,

Whether rain, hail, or snow,

The boy, kind hearted, walks on.

But no heart is found

In the boy beneath the ground,

Swallowed by time and more.

[moth-with-a-migraine]

YIPPEE‼️‼️‼️ Managed to get another poem done cuz I was scrolling and happened upon a nort post about the B-Bros I think, and was struck with divine inspiration and the realisation that I wanted to contribute to the fandom

@myth-of-the-machine made by @nortsauce and @flygutzz , hope you enjoy :D

Bendy as a Ruler

Strict, stern,

Will not learn

Any other way.

For beliefs of a hound,

Surprisingly sound,

Wont break away.

'As bendy as a ruler',

Something newer

Aligning to one's own rules.

Though rulers can bend,

Can snap and rend

This idiom worthless to the fool.

But strong is he,

The one who'll be

A righteous, sturdy force.

But force to farce,

Belief grows sparse,

Whittling down at the source.

And along came disturbance,

Quiet emergence,

Not here for biscuits and tea.

They take the ruler,

Bend it, crueller,

As much necessity as fee.

A cup of blood,

A mug of mud,

Hiding what they wish could leave.

Secrets can stay,

Put emotions away,

All for survival, his belief.

Not yet balanced,

Perhaps calloused

In the views of one's own mind.

A shot, a blank,

A draining tank,

And a clock ceasing with a grind.

[nortsauce]

I LOVE POETRY THIS IS AWESOME

[moth-with-a-migraine]

OML YAYAYAYA THIS MEANS SO MUCHHHH

[moth-with-a-migraine]

YIPPEE‼️‼️‼️ Managed to get another poem done cuz I was scrolling and happened upon a nort post about the B-Bros I think, and was struck with divine inspiration and the realisation that I wanted to contribute to the fandom

@myth-of-the-machine made by @nortsauce and @flygutzz , hope you enjoy :D

Bendy as a Ruler

Strict, stern,

Will not learn

Any other way.

For beliefs of a hound,

Surprisingly sound,

Wont break away.

'As bendy as a ruler',

Something newer

Aligning to one's own rules.

Though rulers can bend,

Can snap and rend

This idiom worthless to the fool.

But strong is he,

The one who'll be

A righteous, sturdy force.

But force to farce,

Belief grows sparse,

Whittling down at the source.

And along came disturbance,

Quiet emergence,

Not here for biscuits and tea.

They take the ruler,

Bend it, crueller,

As much necessity as fee.

A cup of blood,

A mug of mud,

Hiding what they wish could leave.

Secrets can stay,

Put emotions away,

All for survival, his belief.

Not yet balanced,

Perhaps calloused

In the views of one's own mind.

A shot, a blank,

A draining tank,

And a clock ceasing with a grind.

[moth-with-a-migraine]

Damn, it's been a hot minute...

Anyway, this lil guy is a new oc that MIGHT replace the BATIM oc in becoming a MOTM oc??? Mayhaps??? I dunno yet

(Info and pics under cut :3 (I am warning you I YAP))

He has lil angsty stuffs goin' on, but I only realised after makin' the guy that the piece of me that I gave em was my autism... whoops

He is injured every time he tries to do 'false expressions' but still does it when in a more humanoid form so that he can fit in. It takes a lot of energy, and I feel like that's a parallel to how draining masking is for some people???

(Dont mind how janky some bits look, I was tired when makin' this)

He bleeds gold too (as shown above), so it's very obvious when he's pushed past the limits, but it can also happen when he's in the more comfortable porcelain form

Bone china ! He's got bovine inspirations 'cause bone china usually used (and probably still uses) the ashes of cow bones to make it. Very sturdy, so long as you treat it right (yes this is relevant)

(Name has changed, now Mr. B.C. for bone china)

The reason why he bleeds gold is because of kintsugi, the Japanese art of fixing things with gold to emphasise the 'imperfections' and make them a part of the piece. However, most of the 'healed over' places where he broke have faded in a way, (magically) changing colours to become rose gold instead of the jarring pure gold (cuz I have a winter palette and still wanna cosplay the guy without looking washed out)

The flowers are there again because of trying to be more presentable for other people, but they are a passive thing to make him seem more approachable and friendly, kinda like sticking a massive sign above his head saying 'please talk to me, I dont bite'

He wears wrist and arm wraps to keep himself together even if he does break (safety/coping mechanisms) but sometimes he ties them up too tight and he cant move without breaking something (when said coping mechanisms fail, or harm the person)

Anyway he a silly

The image limit is 10 images, sadge :[

[moth-with-a-migraine]

I got a new piece for you, with Ruyan and the Tei Val'Maha gang :D

Each one as their signature colours, and I only realised as I was making it that Ruyan's colour (deep red/maroon) is one of the only colours that gives a seemingly normal skin and hair colour, which really separates him from the rest of the group

I decided to lean into this and solidify that Ruyan is the 'other', leading to him being the only one not somewhat in the dark, and the only one with a glitch effect instead of the minor colour shift that the others have

[moth-with-a-migraine]

hhEUGH finally

The boy, and his incredibly painful power system is (aesthetically) done ! (Please save me I need water DESPERATELY) (more info under the cut)

Okay so basically he absorbs dice to get power. They are very pretty dice, based on a metal set I own with lotus patterns ^^

But yeah, pretty dice. The painful part comes into play when he tries to absorb the dice.

Each dice corresponds to a tattoo on his body, and for whichever tattoo appears, he feels the pain of getting said tattoo regularly, but it'll be a bit more intense

So every time he does this, his bones vibrate rapidly, and he usually throws up/passes out before the dice is fully assimilated, but his friends take care of his unconscious body so it's fine.

The drawbacks of using the dice depend on how much he uses the dice, so if it's for a simple saving throw it doesn't hurt too much, but rolling for a massive attack would take a whole lot out of him, and cause it to be more painful when the dice is re-absorbed. The tattoos then act as a sort of timer, the amount they fade symbolising how much energy/time he has left to use the dice, and upon fully fading, the dice is immediately re-absorbed, giving about half the pain of the initial assimilation of the dice to his body (which is still a lot of ouch !)

Also most of the tattoos shift about like they're pools of ink held underneath his skin, the only exceptions being all of the stars, which he (somehow) acquired before being introduced to the dice magic system, currently still thinking about where they're from

He's so silly

[moth-with-a-migraine]

BOOM, SURPRISE ATTACK: POEM‼️‼️‼️

Haunting

O haunted tree, strong is she,

Drop by drop.

Sane to madder, tore the adder

With one swap.

Kill the father, kill the mother,

The path I lead.

Now I'm stronger, you'll no longer

Watch me bleed.

I can hope that you wont know

That you hurt us.

Broke us further, falsified nurture,

Blind façade of love.

The ghosts of a past I never knew

Still haunt me to this day.

From foe to friend, in the end

They'll make you pay.

[moth-with-a-migraine]

CHARACTER SHEETS LESGOOO‼️‼️‼️

In traditional for now, may recreate them later in digital (info below the cut)

Hermaphrodite - an organism (animal, plant, fungus) that naturally has both male and female reproductive organs

And !

Main colours:

Ruyan - Deep, muted red/burgundy-ish

Bibi - Muted minty green

Maiya - Lilac/Royal purple

Flamm - Magenta/pinkish red

Sioh - Baby blue/muted cyan

Ruyan and Bibi so gay for eachother they have opposite everything rrrRRRAGHHH

I'm so normal about them

Uh anyway

Anything that is from Tei Val'Maha (the world that pixies, elves, etc are from, meaning 'the loving dream') is called a shimokurii, meaning 'spirit guides' ! Though, what they guide you to may not be good... :D

[moth-with-a-migraine]

It's poem time >:]

Remember the blue guy from my... third post? This is him again, but a lil bit more angsty-esque

(poem under cut)

Perhaps, a god?

Who am I, if not your friend?

One you know, one who can mend

The dying hope of our listless kind,

One who discovers, analysing minds.

My mind is not something you could easily crack,

As of my nature, I never look back.

Perhaps I am strange, perhaps I am weird,

But you still look at me like something so dear.

While I know the facts, you still do hide

Your careful breaths as you come to confide

In my caring look, my warm embrace,

And we both stand, taking our place.

Now as I tumble, I stumble, and fall

Down on my knees, false idol with gall.

I lead the people, bloody crown I don.

Who am I? Perhaps, a god?

[moth-with-a-migraine]

Finally, he isn't just a concept in my mind !

Say hello to Bibi, resident sweetheart and innocent heartthrob of his school (school name pending)

And now, a summary of what I actually wanted to write so that you dont get a seizure reading some of this:

Bibinteia

Age: teen

Body type: boyish, slender/lithe

Height: 5'1 (below average)

Physical heritage/inspiration: Korean/Latino (Korean heritage dom)

Trivia: Bibi's always cold, even in summer, so he looks closer to a marshmallow than a dragon when winter rolls around (drawing on animals storing food as fat for winter, he does also get a lil bit chubby in winter too (•v•))

Ooc info: He's inspired by Korean dragons (Yong), which are depicted as benevolent, protectors, and are often associated with royalty. They have many attributes coming from various real-world animals, such as deer, camels, snakes, etc.

Bibi in particular hasn't quite grown into his skin yet, only being able to take his humanoid form, and not his full Yong form. On top of this, he was the youngest, and the runt of his family, only his antlers, claws, and tail having grown in so far. He tends to hide these in company, even when comfortable with the person/people.

Extra info, but his big teefs are inspired by another folklore creature that I cant remember the name of. It looks sorta like a lion/tiger, and it has these massive chompers that look super cool to me, so they're a part of his design for now

Zoom ins:

My boy

[moth-with-a-migraine]

(Vague) reference sheet of my boy Lanthorn, it's also a lil bit old but shhh

Imma turn him into a MOTM OC soon enough, just you wait... anyway yeah, small drawing dump from today >:3

Toon version (missing the tail QvQ), and...

Human version ! His tail would probably just become a regular handheld lamp in more humanoid forms, but I'd like to believe he wears hoof boots, or really high heels, and has a staff with an antler acting as a hook on the end to hold the lantern

He's so silly

Eepy boy