I Luv Sad Avocado’s @mothersfrogs - Tumblr Blog

markiplieroncesaid

Markiplier 67 incident

s-lycopersicum

Oh, you think you're safe now?

Nothing can deliver you from these paws!

skimmer-vode

Reblog to animatedly boop your followers

dragon-in-a-fez

this will be the year I finally convince everyone to abandon New Year's resolutions in favour of Yule Boasting, the clearly superior tradition

dragon-in-a-fez

allow me to explain. Yule boasting is an old Norse tradition of getting shitfaced at the winter solstice feast and standing up to proclaim all the great, infamous, and wildly improbable deeds you will perform in the coming year. can range from an unlikely but technically possible claim, like "I'm going to rob 300 banks", to something you'd have to bend the laws of the universe to actually accomplish, like "I'm going to punch a god in the dick and steal his horse". these are not plans. they're not even goals. they're the things you'd do in a self-insert superhero fanfic. and honestly all I want this holiday season is for a bunch of friends to go all in on this nonsense with me and hype ourselves up in ways previously unimaginable

avatarobi

Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.

piedude

carry-on-my-wayward-butt

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

carry-on-my-wayward-butt

you can know the punchline but you can’t stop it from punching you.

mighty-meerkat

i do also feel the need to add that phil8248 really liked the joke. he said his wife had always had a dark sense of humour, even about her illness and death, and seeing the joke made him feel like he was laughing with her one last time.

guerrillatech

imagine simping for capitalism this badly

arsonsara

sailor-arashi

A Christmas Carol never even says that Scrooge gives up anything at all, or even somehow stops being super-rich. He just stops being a dick about it and starts using his wealth to help people. Scrooge isn’t even written as an indictment of rich people, since plenty others appear in the story and are presented as perfectly nice people. Scrooge is a miser. He doesn’t even use his money to help himself, which is called out as the reason he dies within the year. Learning to care for himself is just as much part of the Ghosts’ lessons as learning to care for other people.

marzipanandminutiae

how dare Charles Dickens, a man once sent to work in a factory at age 12 while his father was in debtors’ prison, inflict such Wokery upon us as “caring about the poor”

cannibalchicken

*looking for a midnight snack* *gets flashbanged*

trapny

This is literally the plot of a Garfield comic strip

my-random--thoughts-deactivated

discardingimages

snail and strawberries

book of hours, Bruges ca. 1510-1525

Rouen, bibliothèque municipale, ms. 3028, fol. 58v

theshitpostcalligrapher

catchymemes

astoriachef

I have some bad news. It could happen at any second.

“Sharon, if you’re listening, I want my dog back.”

exeggutor-deactivated20171218

pplleeaasse foor. the. loovvee. oof. good heellpp. mme

sammyfaeyrin

Apple inc assigned typing quirk

ultimateloserboy

why is nobody talking about the fact that bill literally saved the women in salem by giving them actual powers to defend themselves against their attackers… and there wasnt even a catch!! he just genuinely helped them!! he taught them how to love themselves as women and taught them how to laugh!! this moved me so much actually, i dont get why nobody else is talking about it