Ramona’s Mommy 💗 @motionlessmisfit - Tumblr Blog

I hate this feeling so much.

...........

Him.

I lost him. He was the love of my life and my depression took away the one man I knew I was meant to be with. I look at our beautiful child that we created and I remember us having the talk about wanting a family.... Now our family is apart... By the look in your eyes I saw all the love you had for me fade away.... I wanted one last kiss goodbye... I wanted his touch and his warmth. Even when he makes me upset he can hold me and make me feel whole again... I didn’t want this love to come to an end..... If you called me right this second and said “I love you” just one more time I can feel okay again. It’s been about 7 hours since you told me you can’t be with me.... and it’s been 7 hours of tears and chest pains. I want to hear your voice. I want you to say this is all a bad nightmare and I’ll wake up next to you again. I’m sorry I got so bad off and I grew to be so weak.... I needed you. I needed you by my side. You were my rock and you gave up on me.... I just want you to feel the way you did in this post you wrote almost 3 years ago.... I want nothing but to be yours..... I just can’t let go of him.

I carried you for nine months and I have no clue how I even lived life without your beautiful face. It seems just yesterday I found out I was pregnant. A part of me still thinks this is all a dream, December 17th was the day I became complete and overwhelmed with happiness. This love is like no other. Mommy loves you so much Ramona Jae. You’re everything I’ve needed in my life. I promise I’ll be the best mother I can be 💗