GIANT ME @moxy-gamer - Tumblr Blog

I’d love to be a time traveler who only has the ability to travel to the time and location of unexplained historical events. Weird astrological events, town-wide fits of hysteria, mass disappearances à la the Pied Piper, major posessions, etc.

I’d just go back and check things out, come back to the present and consult experts, and figure out what Really Happened for us to record. But every once in a while they’d have to deal with it when I’d come back like

“Fuck dude it sure really was just Vampires”

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

*falls out of the air and lands on my face in the lab* “well everyone that really did look like tuberculosis until the very end didn’t it! Hahaha yeah, doesn’t it always though?? Anyway, Demons,”

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So you want to be The Doctor huh, get in line kiddo.

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No I’m way cuter than the doctor and also better at my job

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I just got whiplash nothing could have prepared me for this

scumfuckus

i will say the funniest thing i’ve ever fucking seen on a tv soap is when my mum was watching holby city (british medical drama) many many years ago and there was this one really arrogant anaesthetist and he was bragging about something or other while holding a charged defibrillator pad in each hand and triumphantly clapped them together and just straight up electrocuted himself and fucking died. it was supposed to be like a serious scene but nothing i’ve ever watched since has surpassed that level of comedy

scumfuckus

it’s so much fucking funnier than i remember