Stuff and things and things and stuff

Some guys have all the luck. I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs and every night I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.

[cryptotheism]

Me, two glasses of wine in: "yeah so here's an in depth conversation about my identity as a nonbinary person, and my struggles with transphobia in 2023"

Median Center-Right American Dude at the party, also two drinks in: "Damn that's crazy, I never thought of it like that. Man, I'm sorry you gotta deal with this shit."

Me: "Ahh it's alright. I deal."

Random Guy: "People should just chill tf out."

Me: "Damn right"

[cryptotheism]

Random Guy: "So if you're non binary, and, sorry if this is offensive but I don't know the right words here. Like, is it cross dressing for you if you wear a skirt?"

Me: "Its- hm. Huh. I have no idea."

[cryptotheism]

Guy: "It must have been nice to go to school with other trans people. Like, you must've felt safe."

Me: "No actually it was the opposite. It just made me even more upset and confused. I didn't know what being non-binary was. I saw people that transitioned from one gender to the other and knew I wasn't that. It took me a long time to figure this shit out."

Guy: "man that sounds rough. No wonder you guys are upset all this time this sounds painful."

Me: "Well, it sucks until it suddenly doesn't. It sucks and then it rules hard."

Guy: "so It's like working out."

Me: [both of us are now nodding wisely] "it's like working out."

[cryptotheism]

Guy who has only ever played undertale seeing a skeleton for the first time: "holy shit"

[nudityandnerdery]

From the media that brought you "Millennials are killing [insert industry here]" articles for years and years and years, now we have....

"Hey, Gen Z, we're gonna relabel vacations into something else now and tell you how you really should be wary of taking vacation because it might impact your financial future."

This is a goddamn dystopia, we know this, right?

[rabid-transcendentalist]

[yeomanslog]

Like I turn the corner and my beloved rocky boy Onix is napping in garden. Hello????

[kora-kat]

The most beautiful onix around...

[two-thirtyy]

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Look buddy, i’m just trying to make it to Friday.

[taykoutmccleod]

reblog if its friday and you made it

[trixic-frankenman-deactivated20]

[baweiii]

[ghost--bot]

[tatzelwurming]

listen i consider myself an empathic person but after a certain point i get sick of other people’s problems. my friend is always talking about how the jewel-eyed skull on their mantlepiece is tormenting them w its sinister beauty and im over it. like dude i don’t want to talk about this anymore. get rid of the fucking skull

[e-102]

you’ are biased against my skull

[tatzelwurming]

i’m not having this argument again man

[betasunkern]

[t4nku-deactivated20181226]

don’t leave out the best part

[dramaticspoon-deactivated202207]

I’ve never seen the second photo before.

[pitchburgh]

i wish you could laugh react eBay listings. that's not worth $250. you fucking asshole. lmao

[pitchburgh]

you should also be able to do this to job listings

[pukicho]

That guy who fell asleep during a 24 hour marathon playing majora’s mask will always be fucking hilarious

[viejospellejos]

[slyandthefamilybook]

[fireleaptfromhousetohouse]

[toastyhat-deactivated20180203]

one of my favorite tropes is when your group of main characters has been split up for questioning and they’re all answering the same questions in a neatly-spliced montage

[starfieldcanvas]

my favorite trope is when the stories blatantly and hilariously conflict

[seven-winged-liar]

she butterfly on my effect til i (gravely serious) everything could have been different

[what-even-is-thiss]

The meme version of Edward Cullen as a man who is obsessed with snails and moss is infinitely more interesting than the version of him in the actual twilight books.

[what-even-is-thiss]

If Edward Cullen was a man who was obsessed with the small intricacies of the forests of Washington state and enjoyed foraging and taking pictures of snails he would actually be the most unique and interesting vampire character in modern literature but instead he’s an overprotective bitch whose main personality trait is that he hates himself.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Bella would also be way more interesting if she was watching this guy swerve the car over to the side of the road to take a picture of some cool moss and chewing on poisonous herbs like gum because his vampirism makes him immune and going “oh I can’t not fuck him”

[darkvoidtrash]

Where can I see that? Or is it just you hallucinating Edward's?

[what-even-is-thiss]

[prokopetz]

All right, hold on – is there anyone in this room who wasn't grown in a tube by a shadowy quasi-governmental conspiracy as a living weapon? Anyone at all?

[je-blauge]

Mine was a sphere

[psych-is-the-name]

you guys got your own containers? I was grown in a high-capacity vat with the rest of my batch

[wretchedsnek]

Bougie mf over here with a high-capacity vat acting like they were soooo much worse off than those of us grown from the fucking SOIL

[important-animal-images]

[mx-kennedy]

Hello! Would you like the "Where's my wife?", or, "Where's everyone going, bingo?"