The Jotz Blog

Mr. Jotz (aka Joshua Nicholson) is a lover of "internetainment" and is also an actor, improviser, musician, voice-over artist and amateur animator. Check out JoshuaNicholson.com for more info!

[mrjotz]

I was watching He-Man this morning with my 2-year-old son. The stories are usually a little ridiculous, but this part made me cackle.

[mrjotz]

Wow. Tumblr looks mostly the same with some slight modifications. I haven't logged on here in a long while. Are any of my friends still here?

[kalofi]

cant believe i’ve never shared arguably the funniest dms i’ve ever gotten in my life

[machetelanding]

[myjetpack]

a Halloween cartoon for yesterday’s @guardian

p.s. I have a new book out click for details.

[edharrington]

[iguanamouth]

[sirfrogsworth]

I think that might be the perfect place to truncate this article's headline.

[mrjotz]

5 years ago today, I got to pledge myself to this fantastic lady.

Now, we have a house, a son, and a huge combined family that loves and cares for us.

I am incredibly blessed. Love you, bebe!

[mrjotz]

Did we do this right...?

[sirfrogsworth]

I tried.

Again.

Misinformation is also a virus and our country is just as infected with it as it is with COVID-19.

Bunk thinks he is perfectly innocent publicly posting his bad information. That he is not harming anyone. But he has influence over his loved ones and his friends and maybe even strangers that see his nonsense.

He is a potential superspreader of misinformation.

And that is dangerous.

It's clear he did almost no research. It's clear he is basing his opinions on scraps of information he heard god knows where. And yet he speaks with authority and freely spreads his thoughts without a care that what he says is actually true.

[reasonsmysoniscrying]

My wife’s car just emailed me to tell me it was low on windshield washer fluid.

2020 was supposed to have flying vehicles... and we got nagging cars instead. THIS IS NOT THE FUTURE WE WERE PROMISED.

[memewhore]

[i-have-no-gender-only-rage]

One of the funniest failures of US school system is the fact they are legally obligated to teach us all the states but they never actually show how big Alaska is like I have actually had teachers tell me that Texas is the biggest state. We have all just convinced ourselves that Alaska is that small shrunken down thing on most US maps and the people that know it's the largest state can almost never accurately describe how large it is.

For context here is a picture

[captainlordauditor]

what

[guardianofscrewingup]

It has a national park that’s bigger than maine. Or Switzerland. A park. 

I lived in Alaska for two years and I will never get over the sheer overwhelming bigness of it. 

Nights where the sky is clear you can see clusters of stars or the Northern Lights dancing. When the lights are rippling especially strong and fast you can hear a static crackle in the air. When the moon is out after it’s snowed, you don’t need flashlights to see. Everything glows and glimmers like polished quartz.  

But when the sky is clouded over so you can’t see the stars, you can kind of almost sense the mountains towering over you and helping to block out the light, these giant monoliths acting like this void darker than your soul. I’ve never experience night like Alaska night. 

Everything is big, the mountains, the sky, the valleys. 

And the dark. 

[thedeliverygod]

what the fuck

[homestarrunner]

Watch "Halloween Hijinks" on YouTube

[luisonte]

[mrjotz]

But...but what was his GOAL here?...

[canadianstuck]

One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.

And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”

He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.

[ournameisfun]

during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard

[sammysausage]

When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked, “Are you with him? What’s his name?”

She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her date’s name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said, “At some point during the show, I am going to stop and say, ‘Well, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,’ and then you guys are all going to scream back ‘WE LOVE MILKSHAKES!’ He’ll be so confused.”

He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonald’s drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale…”

Naturally, we erupted with “WE LOVE MILKSHAKES” and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said, “I bet you’re real confused now, huh, JASON?!”

[windyvalleyzone]

ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid

[jxhn-mulaney]

i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”

[lovelydeck]

I saw him live at my college. During his show he shouted something, which spooked a service dog in training that someone had brought with them (the dogs are common on campus, cause they are learning how to socialize and be in large crowds without reacting). Seeing the dog had been scared he apologized and asked the dog’s name. Upon hearing the dogs name was “Blanket” he about lost his god damn mind he was so happy. throughout the show he kept checking on Blanket. It was adorable.

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

This is my favorite version of this thread now