Guardian of Screwing Up

Writer, salt mine, monkey of questionable superintelligence. Maker of Jersey jokes and craver of cheesesteaks. 39. Non-binary. Ey/em/eir pronouns.

[catilinas]

[tolkien voice] morgoth probably didn’t know what a flower was. and if he did it would piss him off

[shinyjolteon]

im gonna cry this person is so sweet to their fish

[oneheadtoanother]

[cowboycatss]

[telestoapologist]

reblog this image If

[telestoapologist]

reblog this now more than ever

[telestoapologist]

[lucylehane]

(this scene is why I watch this movie on Valentine's Day every year)

The Birdcage (1996)

[bigmouthlass]

"There's only one place in the world I call home and it's because you're there."

[wilwheaton]

“Hickenlooper is 74 and says this new term he’s running for will be his last. He’s been in office almost continuously since he was elected mayor of Denver in 2003. He served two terms as mayor and as governor. He seems like a very solid guy. I’m sure I’d like him. But it’s my strong impression that he is very much in the camp of Democratic senators who don’t want to do any of the big necessary things: abolish the filibuster, reform the Supreme Court, fight against encroaching autocracy as opposed to preserve decorum and regular order. In other words, he’s approaching the senate gig as though we were still in the 1990s or perhaps the W. era. To listen to my own oft-repeated arguments, he is the problem. And as I argued a few days ago, this is the kind of thing that has Democratic primary voters on fire now. They want fight.”

—

Some Thoughts on a Possible Big Primary Upset(s) in Colorado - TPM – Talking Points Memo

From now until the heat death of the universe, I want elected Democrats to beat the shit out of Republicans. No reaching across the aisle, no moving forward together. I want motherfucking consequences and impeachments and ruthlessness.

I want the Republican party, as it exists now and has existed for my entire lifetime, absolutely destroyed. I want every member of this administration put on trial for their endless crimes and corruption. I want the dirty SCOTUS 6 impeached. I want Thomas put on trial for corruption. 

I want fighters. I want them to be fucking vicious and I want them to do to the Republican party what Sherman did on his march to the sea.

[titleknown]

Trump Moves to Deeply Censor the Entire Internet

The Trump administration is cynically exploiting calls for stricter AI regulation to pass broad censorship measures at the federal level.

So, in terrible news, Trump's trying to pull some strings to pass this massive internet censorship bill, featuring all the kinds of internet censorship we're terrified of, including mandatory ID for accessing basically any website, specifically to crush state regulation of AI, because apparently this man will always see the moral bottom of the barrel and start digging.

So, if you live in the US and hate censorship and AI you know what to do, contact your congresspeople and tell them do not fucking dare let this through or so help us god...

[titleknown]

IMPORTANT UPDATE: The bastards just worked out a deal on the package, and they're going to try and ram it through the House in the next couple of weeks.

So, if you've been waiting to call, the time is NOW. Do it ASAP, be polite, be informed, but light up those phones like a Christmas tree!

[draconym]

[draconym]

great work everyone hit the bathhouse

[byjove]

if someone gets killed by a grizzly bear or a polar bear it’s like “Damn, that’s unfortunate. Luck of the draw.” but if someone gets killed by a black bear you’re like “What did they do to that bear to make it that angry?”

[byjove]

Grizzly bears? You’re usually fine if you’re minding your business but every once in a while one of them decides to go on a killing spree Sankebetsu brown bear incident style and that can’t be prevented in all circumstances. Polar bears? If it wants to kill you, it will decide to kill you and then do it, not your choice. But black bears? My uncle has been chasing the same bear around his property for years Looney Tunes style with no casualties on either end, what the fuck do you have to do to a black bear to make it want to kill you if chasing one with a broom after it was picking your apples does not provoke them to violence?

[guardianofscrewingup]

Ah but some black bears just randomly decide they hungry and unfortunately maybe have learned to associate people with food due to someone feeding them or not securing their trash.

I'd rather deal with an attacking grizzly than an attacking black bear tbh. Most of the times if grizzlies attack, they're doing it out of fear or territoriality, especially if it's a mother protecting her babies. They might smack you around a bit and cut you up, but if you play dead and cover what's vital, you might make it when they decide you're not a threat anymore and they've taught you a lesson and they fuck off.

Black bears almost exclusively attack for the purposes of predation because they see you as a snack. It's why they say "if it's brown, stay down. If it's black, fight back. if it's white, good night." Because you need to make that black bear think you're not worth the energy to eat and absolutely have to fight them to your dying breath if they attack you. If you have a stick or hiking poles or anything, you have to make the ordeal unpleasant to have a chance.

If it's white tho and you don't have a gun lol say hello to god.

[sandersstudies]

We were doing an activity where the kids got to make a playbill for a musical about themselves and all the other kids were like “character list: mommy, daddy, me, my brother, my best friend” “scenes: I get a puppy, first day of school, my baby sister is born”

But one little girl was like “oh, it’s a musical about ME you say” and the character list was all the other girls in the class cast as her body parts, and a story about how her body works.

“Kaylee is nice so she will be the heart. Lily is my kidneys. Sapphire is the lungs.”

She surreptitiously showed me that the girl who kept taking the crayons she was using was cast specifically as “left buttcheek” and I had to pretend like that wasn’t the funniest thing I’d ever seen.

[tvguts]

something about Toy Story toys is so strange to me. versions of animated characters based on real world toys, turned back into toys that are slightly different than the actual toys. slinky dog with a rubber spiral instead of a classic metal slinky. the porcelain bo peep and cloth woody turned into jointed plastic action figures. when toy story 4 came out and i saw a $30 talking action figure of forky, a character made out of a spork and a pipe cleaner, i stood in the walmart toy aisle staring at it like cameron from ferris bueller's day off staring at that painting in the art museum

[malibuklaus]

[kyoukorpse]

Someone to be brave for.

excerpt is from chapter 29 of the novel.

[ image IDs in ALT text ]

[batmanbeyondrocks]

Black Menswear modelled by Black Men

Creative Director Rock Mitchell

[kowabungadoodles]

[headspace-hotel]

The dude in bright orange with the orange umbrella that looks like a peacocks tail.... FAVE

[radioactive-leopard]

Something by I love about Black Menswear is how they’re not afraid of color and personality. It’s not just the same boring black or blue suit jacket every time. It’s also just very dapper.

[headspace-hotel]

YESSS i especially love the florals...

[starkwoes]

There's this video of nuns talking about their favourite things to do outside of nun activities and one of them says "ultimate frisbee" and the other one goes "and sister you are so good at that." I literally cannot get "and sister you are so good at that" out of my head. Out of all my stims this one is my fav lolol

[ultrafacts]

[scramratz]