MrProfDrHoff

https://mrprofdrhoff.com/ Bringer of science, dad jokes, and wholesome nerdly content. Shaggy impersonator. Profile pic by the very talented SamosaDude: https://twitter.com/SamosaDude

[bearotonin-international]

his presence was foretold

[inklings-of-late]

Let your nature blossom.

[writingwithminotaur]

When you daydream about your story and it doesn’t magically write itself onto the page:

[ixtaek]

For some reason this took a minute to load and became hilarious to me.

[shining-latios]

person who posted this originally made it unrebloggable so fuck you it’s mine now

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[sushi1056]

deactivated

So thoroughly nuked that there isn’t even any record of their original blog url

[ivys-garden]

The Forbidden Knowledge

[absolutegibberishandnumbers]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[jurassicpeanut]

Touched up my old Dino’s drawing :) very happy with it!!!

[jurassicpeanut]

Thank you guys for all the love on this art :D a lot of people have asked, and I’ll have prints and stickers available for sale soon! I’m honored that you guys like it so much you want it as a print💕

[magicjudge]

[grimthenerd]

God I love the Magic community

[minart-was-taken]

And they don't even pay her!

[kianamaiart]

this is perfect

[mrprofdrhoff]

[jimhines]

I know I’ve featured this scene on the Nazi Punch of the Day, but this version seemed particularly timely given the ongoing attacks on education.

[prokopetz]

Game design exercise: You've been tasked with creating a non-trademark-infringing version of the beholder. The design brief specifies that your version should have ten creepy eyestalks with ten distinct magic powers, like the standard beholder, but these powers must not overlap with even one of the standard beholder powers.

For the purpose of this exercise, assume that the forbidden list consists of exactly the ten magic eyeball powers that are present in the Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition Monster Manual. (i.e., you don't need to research every magic eyeball power that's ever been attributed to a beholder in every iteration of D&D ever published.)

For reference, these ten powers are:

Controls your mind

Paralyses you

Makes you afraid

Slows you down

Makes you weak

General purpose telekinesis

Puts you to sleep

Turns you to stone

Disintegration ray

Just fucking kills you

These are all off limits.

So:

What ten magic eyeball powers do you give your legally-not-a-beholder?

[mrprofdrhoff]

Fire; inflicts a burning DoT debuff. Burning gets worse if hit with this one again, but cancels out when hit by the Ice ray.

Ice; inflicts a frozen debuff that locks you in place until you break free. The ice melts if hit by the Fire ray.

Lightning; zaps you and knocks you prone. For the next turn, all metal projectiles fly towards you.

Poison; inflicts the poisoned status.

Acid; has a chance to melt your equipment.

Blood Boiler; literally boils your blood. This cures the Poison ray effects.

Light; blinds you. You are immune if already blind.

Thunder; deafens and mutes you. You are immune if already deaf.

Hallucination; every enemy on the battlefield now looks and sounds like an ally, and every ally now looks and sounds like an enemy. You are immune to either the audio or visual effects if you are deafened or blinded respectively.

Sureshot; a beam the diameter of an actual laser that pierces through any and everything with no opposition.

I like the idea of a player jumping in front of a beam thinking it will cure their burning or poison, only to get one of the other ones.

[prokopetz]

More favourite numerical memes:

Implicit or explicit enumeration of uncountable things (example: taking inventory of the fucks which one gives)

Suggesting the divisibility of things which are not customarily thought of as able to be subdivided (example: "six whole people")

Using words that aren't numbers as numbers (example: "one William dollars")

Technically correct but contextually misleading estimates (example: looking at a group of several thousand things and observing that there are "at least three")

Incongruous qualifiers for apparently simple sums or tallies (example: she was twenty-seven years old, not counting 2014)

[moishe-pipick]

[autumngracy]

By DC's anarchist cartoonist, Mike Flugennock 2017

[splendentgoddess]

FOR PARENTS OF YOUNG KIDS IN THE US!

Someone over on bluesky posted this and I figured I'd better repost it here. It's the pre-RFK 2025 vaccination schedule for babies and young children, ya know, just in case it mysteriously disappears. Save this and give it to your child's pediatrician; tell them this is the schedule you want your child on.

[jartita-me-teneis]