Joe-ver, Traylor & Condescension
I know how I reacted to the news that Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn had broken up because a fellow Swiftie I am close friends with via FB - I am housebound - gave me the 'terrible' news. Dissolving into fits of laughter apparently wasn't the reaction I should have had; whilst the rest of Swiftville collectively used sobbing emojis in tweets, Facebook status updates, Instagram posts and comments, I was among the few who were marvelling at the fact it managed to last six years at all. I was among those who were avoiding saying 'I told you so' by duct-taping our mouths closed.
Apparently it is morally reprehensible to speak ill of the dead, and Joe's career may as well dead as a door nail now he only has his... skills to fall back on. No one can ever convince me that this man got the roles he did because of his talent alone. Even if he was told that his almost god-tier performance in audition was what got him the role, directors and casting agents aren't stupid. Being linked to the whirlwind force that is Taylor Swift means that her immensely supportive fans will support those she loves, equalling higher ratings and more cash. Oh, and it would make doors firmly shut to these directors and producers before magically swing open with a 'tada' and jazz hands. But of course it was alllll Joe, it was no one else but Joe that pushed him into suddenly getting the role he went for each time. Yes, I am being condescending, but the reason I have been so purposefully scathing is having had the pleasure of working with this man pre-Taylor. I wasn't yet debilitated by my medical condition and my in-real-life best friend was working on the wardrobe for a show which Joe was in. She needed help with understanding knitting and other 'lady-like' skills, which I have experience with from the age of seven. My opinion of the man is formed from seeing his interpersonal connections and just how pompous he was then.
After the initial wave of 'oh no' and 'this can't be happening', the tide swept away the sand-like haze the fandom had been in and left bare the truth that everyone failed to see sooner. Joe thought Taylor was beneath him in terms of her craft. She wrote songs to go on albums that are insanely popular but also effete, passing fads and fripperies compared to 'real' artsy music. These song were dumb, unless he was in the credits because money doesn't matter; in his head he is a modern version of a 1920s bohemian who lives in a tiny studio surrounded by easels and clay, earning a pittance and drinking with friends every night as they discuss intellectual things the majority of people can't even pronounce.
Suddenly Swiftville filled with pauses then began to whisper about how Joe really treated Taylor, how his demands for a total blackout in terms of speaking about the relationship were kind of controlling, and that he liked living in the enormous apartment that Taylor rented in London, he just didn't want to be known as 'Taylor Swift's Boyfriend' like it's a disease.
I understand wanting privacy in a relationship but if became obvious quickly that Alwyn wanted to live like he was the star with an average everyday girlfriend who basked in his light, not the other way around. Sure, that privacy was perfect for the time they got together, Taylor was at her very lowest mentally and they were cocooned together, where he can imagine himself as the star like he desired. The pandemic didn't help when it came to being in that cocoon again. I genuinely and passionately believe the relationship would have ended after the Lovefest Tour, or even whilst she was actively touring but it would have been kept secret. A split from the person she wrote almost all of Lover about in the middle of promotion would have been tough to manage in terms of PR. Tree is an absolute wizard when it comes to that but she can't perform miracles!
The Midnights album and tour played a huge part in the break up, or the final, no going back break up as there were a few others according to what various sources have said. In addition I don't believe it was amicable at all, it was protracted and painful, particularly now we know 'You're Losing Me' was written in late 2021! My instincts tingle that they were over in late 2022, but Joe attended the Grammy after party to keep the ruse going for a while, although the why of this part I can't put together sensibly.
As the fuss of Ratty Healy fizzled out (what the fuck were you thinking Taylor?) and The Eras Tour continued on, a new beau appearead in Travis Kelce and it is where I begin to loathe some parts of the fandom. Just as Joe was condescending towards Taylor, her 'fans' are now being condescending to Travis, and that is never fair until you get to know more about them. If whoever is on Ms Swift's arm is a dick, we can call it out but so far, based purely on his podcast with brother Jason, he is a deeply genuine, generous, honest man.
As a time out I would like to look at why I think Taylor and Travis are great for one another, which is obviously only my opinion, this entire essay being based on those and a few podcast episodes, an NFL game I had to dig around on my TV package to find and which I understood literally nothing more of than that the grass was green and Travis was playing... Off I go-
This man is unashamedly himself. There's nothing hiding, he's not pretending the dorky side of him doesn't exist, he has embraced it for millions to see for years and years. He made a fucking friendship bracelet for her. This tall, strong NFL guy sat down and threaded tiny beads onto string with his phone number on. I mean... please? That's some of the cutest shit I have ever heard and probably just bumped my high expectations in what I want in a man into near impossible levels.
Travis is confident and comfortable in his own skin, there's no feeling inferior, he is already successful, in a career that does not sit in the arts sphere so he doesn't need to be Taylor Swift's Boyfriend to get parts in films or sell albums. I also noticed when he waited for Taylor to come off stage in Argentina, he kept his hands behind his back to ensure Taylor was the one in control of the PDA level. She could indicate what she wanted by reaching for his hand or, as we saw, run up to him and throw her arms around him. The mental image of the sequin purple dress as Taylor ran to Joe could practically be a copy paste of this but the second time around there was no hiding under the brim of his baseball cap like he was ashamed to be seen with someone who has mass market appeal. He was there in a shirt so unique he couldn't be misidentified by even an ET.
Now I want to move onto something more serious, something that I cannot believe Swifties considered acceptable to do: dig around in twitter and find tweets 12 years old with misspellings even though it is common knowledge that Travis is Dyslexic!
They dragged a man with dyslexia because his old tweets were misspelled. It was all a joke, of course (/s), but it isn't and shouldn't be, because it was Swifties looking at the tweets, creating a spiderweb thin veneer of being humorous whilst, consciously or unconsciously, thinking Taylor is too good for him because of it. They were trying to make it look like Travis was the dumb jock student who barely breathed near a book his whole life and Taylor the intellectual who uses big words in her songs that he could never understand. In what world is it okay to point out how her past boyfriends looked down on her only to do the same to Travis? This has truly pissed me off.
Oh, how I wish it stopped there but it doesn't. As the news got out of the budding relationship, more than one Swift 'news channel' said she was having a 'himbo' moment. A Himbo moment... How much more degrading can you get? They may as well have been blatant, not cowardly, hiding behind buzzwords and have said:
"He plays in the NFL? Urgh that is so puke, everyone knows those players don't have a decent braincell in their heads! This break up with Joe really hit her hard, Travis has to be a rebound, she couldn't possibly like this guy."
Well, it doesn't take much to find out that actually, Travis has a Bachelors Degree in Interdisciplinary Studies. He didn't have a need to complete his credits, his place with the Kansas City Chiefs is secure, but he still persevered, kept studying despite his difficulties with reading and writing and graduated in 2022. That's not even remotely easy and certainly doesn't make him intellectually beneath Taylor at all.
Another thing I saw and heard more than once was that Taylor looked bored at the Kansas game she attended, unable to understand what she watching and simply doing what others did to hide it. This was the 'first date' for them and she spent it with his parents, who, shockingly wanted to be there to support their son as they always did, in a private box. So much about this is stupid to the point I think these Swifties need to learn a lesson in humility! It's appalling that they are so arrogant, so indelibly stained with Taylor's genius-by-proxy that anyone or anything that sits outside of what they think she enjoys is only fit to be squashed beneath the queen's high heeled boots. Sound fucking familiar? What is laughable about it is that Taylor herself is incredibly humble and thankful and doesn't paint herself as a genius at all!
Scott Swift is a major, major football fan, a former(?) Philadelphia Eagles stalwart and possible Kansas Chiefs new sign up, therefore it is utterly ridiculous to suggest his daughter didn't pick up on the lingo, rules, statistics and points from hearing holy talk about it. Taylor was very responsive to the game, I found as many videos of her as I could to be sure of it, and there was no waiting around for others to react, she was up there shouting and jumping in all her glory, decked out in that perfect shade of red that suits her so well and following the game.
As for the whole 'mama on the first date' thing? Who are you to assume it's a date? Obviously it wasn't. In fact Travis has clearly stated that he invited her to hang out in his box and see him after the game, not as a date... And of all the videos and pictures I have looked up to try and get this opinion piece to be reasonably accurate, the laughter and smiles between Mama Kelce and Taylor look genuine, not like TayTay is playing a part in a movie as has been suggested by some.
By taking a step back from the stupidity and condescension you can see why they work so well, so here's my reasons for why I believe that:
Family comes first for both and they understand the closeness of a family bonded like that as Taylor's parents are her backbone through all the bullshit.
They are both successful and don't actually need one another. It's a position of equality for them both.
Travis has said in his podcast that the paparazzi are insane but he knows how to handle it. He knows that being with a global superstar comes with negatives but you have to decide if those negatives are manageable for the person in your life and he has decided he can hack it. Head down, hold tight to the hand and just go for whatever door you are aiming for.
As strange as this is about to sound, he's a man. At 6'5" he is just perfect for a woman of Taylor's height, she can still wear her heels and feel feminine beside Travis. He is bigger than her security guards and can take a few knocks if anything goes west.
He's a God-damn gentleman. He opened her door, kept hold of her hand tight so as not to lose her in the kerfuffle of photographers outside the SNL meal they went to and he let her pick her comfort zone in terms of hugs and kisses.
Culture. I mean in terms of holidays, traditions, norms and values. Most of the people she's dated have been British, and although we share much, we can never truly understand what Americans feel about their country. To us the idea of reciting a few words to a flag in the corner of a classroom each morning is very, very, very cult vibed.
Freedom. Sure that sounds weird but I mean it in the sense that Travis is a Swiftie, this man knows how utterly off the wall Taylor can be even before he took his friendship bracelet shot at her, and they complement one another in that sense. No judgement will be coming from this man at all, he'd more likely be the one with her on the dance floor as they moved in crazy ways like no one sees them.
They've agreed on how much they are willing to divulge. He consistently says in post game interviews that although he will openly say that they are dating, he won't say anything more than that without speaking to Taylor first, and it doesn't take Stephen Hawking to realise she'd tell him not to elaborate further. Whenever she's mentioned in the podcast it is usually about the fans, not our Queen directly, such as the Christmas single reaching number one on iTunes.
He. Wants. The. World. To. Know. Isn't that refreshing? From her songs alone anyone can deduce that Taylor enjoys being in love and wants that love shouted from the rooftops, she wants to be acknowledged by her partner. She is able to express this in song whilst her other halves generally haven't or if they have it's been too subtle. Going from being as closed off as Jaylor were, to Travis proudly saying they are together must feel awesome for her.
He likes her acknowledgement right back. If you haven't seen the video of his face and neck going red as Tay changed the lyrics to Karma for him, go find it and then come back and read this again.
With all the love and respect I have for Ms Swift, I pray, beg fate, give offerings to the gods, ask the universe to make this one be it for her. Of all the guys that have gone before there's no one like Travis Kelce in the mix and maybe this is the 1!
P. S. I chose Maroon because it is all said in the first verse...
Do you think it'll last?
Voting ended onDec 10, 2023
