pokemon. turtles. toys

[catchymemes]

[mrturtole]

Did he yeet that cat?

[romeomontvgue-deactivated201902]

How hard was it to say “pistachio”

[anxietypower]

you: pistachio me, an intellectual: That Green Nüt ™

[crewnecking-blog]

[10knotes]

so I was on yahoo answers and

[lassoway]

hot take: jake peralta is bi and john mulaney plays his ex boyfriend from high school in season six of brooklyn nine-nine

[thegoodjanet-deactive]

john mulaney plays a rockin’ twink

[aro-as-in-straight-as-a]

John Mulaney: *to himself* What would Leonard Bernstein do?

Captain Holt: *to Jake, quietly* I support your and Amy’s relationship with my whole heart but why on earth would you give up a man like that

[fuck-customers]

[life-of-eris]

If you had five billion you could hop from job to job, calling entitled customers idiots all across your city, putting the fear of You into every shithead in town until people become afraid to be rude to servers and cashiers, lest you emerge from the back room like some kind of manners-enforcing specter

[aceofsquiddles]

[gardenoffish]

Do I date tall people???? Just so they can always see me from my best angle?????? Or is that just a bonus for them?????

[pcklesthings]

idk. how tall are you? cause that’ll tell you why you date tall people

[gardenoffish]

I’m 5'2

[pcklesthings]

you date tall people cause everyone is taller than you

[lohver]

today my prof said to my class “you don’t truly love someone until they’ve hurt you and you still think of them as the greatest person in the world. Love is the most violent act.” ok ok ok

[peoplegettingreallymadatfood]

[rift-master]

Looked it up and anon’s right

It’s defined as a drink other than water.

[tharook]

what the fuck

that’s the worst kind of definition

[lycanxbutch]

then wtf is water?

[mrturtole]

[pleatedjeans]

via

[tayintheflesh-deactivated201707]

THE SNACK MACHINE !!!?!

[queenwhiskey]

A weapon to surpass metal gear

[thedeskofdrychris]

I could have sworn the UPS one was the costume until I looked down

[mrturtole]

Why aren’t we asking... why?

[grimeclown]

[toxzen]

please just watch this

[gamegeneral-deactivated20150114]

“It’s one second.” I said “It can’t possible be that great.” I was wrong.

[chaifootsteps]

NYEM

[thecheshirecass-deactivated2018]

I turned the sound on and laughed so hard it hurt

[todeswalzer-deactivated20230811]

[shittycryptids]

A shapeshifter who can only turn into things they eat

[cobaltdays-deactivated20210208]

*turns into a puddle of cum*

[irkenkinnie]

Hey why are you like this

[kasbpraks]

ok tier: villain listening to classical music as they fuck shit up

good tier: villain listening to 80s music as they fuck shit up

god tier: villain listening to “toxic” by britney spears as they fuck shit up

[itskitschglitch]

legendary tier: villain listening to “Africa” by Toto as they fuck shit up

[kasbpraks]

this is the only good addition to this post

[recently-reanimated]

Dan belnavis speaks for all of us

[benepla-deactivated20180521]

ragnarok isn’t a marvel movie it’s a taika waititi movie that the MCU was GRACIOUSLY given as a gift

[yungsquidward]

black panther isn’t a marvel movie it’s a ryan coogler movie that the MCU was GRACIOUSLY given as a gift

[pureslime-deactivated20191020]

iron man 2 isn’t a marvel movie it’s a humongous sack of shit

[wukodork]

Calling iron man 2 a movie is generous

[nyahgust]

straight guys are absurd. i once asked one if they’d kiss a boy for $50,000 and they said no. at that point it’s not even gay it’s just the best option

[it-is-a-perfect-world-and-we-are]