This monthās Student Stories feature is from a CRC student from Jackson, MS. He transferred to MSU from Jackson State University and is now a senior computer engineering major. He is also the president of the Mississippi State Students About Service (MSSAS) organization, a student org that does service work both in the community and on campus. MSSAS has done book drives, helped out at the animal shelter, and provided tutoring services to elementary students. His favorite restaurant in Starkville is Thai Siam, is more of a cat person, and really likes blues, classic rock, and classical music.
The following Q&A is adapted from an interview and edited for clarity.
Q: Why did you to come to MSU?
A: I finished half of my degree at Jackson State. When I moved here from Jackson and took a job at Yokohama Tires, I was working a 12 hour shift one night and realized how discontent I was with my life. And it dawned upon me: well, I finished half of my degree, and I knew that MSU was definitely the closest most prestigious school, so on a whim I said, āIām going to apply, send in my transcripts, see what happens.ā Iāve always been a Bulldog fan. My whole family went to Ole Miss, and I was always, no pun intended, the rebel. I wanted to be different. With the convenience of being close and the good engineering school, MSU just seemed to make sense. I got accepted, was really excited, and here we are now. Iām almost finished!
Q: What do you want to do in your future?
A: Having completed most of my computer engineering curriculum, I see that Iām geared more towards hardware design. Realistically, Iāll start off working with a company thatās already established. But ultimately, my vision is to own my own tech company. Hopefully, it will involve some type of cutting edge technology and advancements, and I plan to work towards that.
Q: Whatās a hidden talent that you have?
A: I like to think I have decent public speaking skills. And in the confines of my own room I like to play guitar and sing.
Q: Whatās the craziest thing on your bucket list?
A: Iāve always wanted to travel to Egypt because I like studying ancient history! I also watch movies like The Mummy, and I want to believe some of that stuff is true! :)
Q: What happened that brought you into recovery?
A: Iāve been in and out of recovery, but the last and most significant time I was sitting in jail three and a half years ago. I had been arrested. I had probably been in jail a dozen times or more than that for random things related to drinking and drug using. Physically, I was a wreck. I felt like my nervous system was shot. I was having panic attacks. Within the span of 3 hours, my girlfriend dumped me, I lost my job, and I was in jail. The only person who hadnāt turned their back on me at that point was my dad. I called him, as I always did, to bail me out. And he said he couldnāt do anything
All of these, this whole myriad of emotions set in, and I had the biggest realization Iāve ever had in my life: This was the turning point. I had pushed everyone that I loved away. I had thrown away every opportunity. I had an opportunity to intern at NASA, And I completely blew it, among other things. Iām either going to continue getting in jail and being miserable or Iām going to go back to the place that I know has a solution. Something in me internally shifted in a major way. I knew in my heart. Either my willingness to live was going to go or my desire to do drugs and alcohol was gonna go. And obviously, the latter would have been better. Iād rather live a happy life than just go on to the bitter end.
It was almost relieving, getting to that lowest of low bottom because You get the sense thatāand itās kind of clichĆ©āthat you can only go up from there. And I really had that feeling. So mainly, completely ruining relationships and having no self-worth drove me into recovery this last time.
But from that point the door opened for ultimate happiness, so it was cool!
Q: Whatās it like being in recovery?
A: Being in recovery in AWESOME! Itās the greatest gift Iāve ever been given. Recovery to some people may seem like a sentence, like āOh, your lifeās over,ā but that was when my life began. Every meaningful change that happened in my life happened post decision to get into recovery. And it comes along with so much. Itās a full process. Itās not just going to meetings, not drinking, and not doing drugs. Itās making a decision on multiple levels to completely have my life transformed.
Itās a pretty common sentiment for people in recovery to look back on their lives and say, wow, we get to do things like go on trips, interact with people, and communicate our experiences with others! Communication is the most important tool we have. I can have all these amazing ideas and want to share these things with you, but if I canāt effectively communicate it then itās all for naught it. Recovery has given me a chance to communicate these things, these deepest emotions that I and other people have felt, especially concerning recovery. Having that relatability is really important, just as a human family!
Q: If you could change the world what would you do?
A: I truly think that if we could change peopleās mindsets, not just help with external thingsā¦if you can change someoneās mindset then their external things begin to change. I think happiness truly is an internal thing. And I think most people DO know that things donāt permanently make you happy. But having an internal state, a healthy mindset, is more important. I feel like if we could somehow get to the root, the source of thought, and encourage people to change their mindsets, then we would see the most significant change in the world.
[Q: How can we get to that root of thought though?] For myself, I always was under the impression that I was just a passenger to my thoughts, a victim to my circumstances. For me, changing my mindset and believing that I can affect my external circumstances, has made all the difference. Instead of feeling helpless, thinking, āOh things just happen to me, and I have to take them as they come,ā I switch it around and say, āNo.ā I take it more as a responsibility to wake up and immediately think about things Iām grateful for, smile, and even do things physiologically that can change my mood.
It seems crazy, but I know for most years of my life I didnāt really think of life this way. Thoughts just came and they were good or bad. But right now, in this moment, I can choose to plant good thought seeds. Itās kind of like a garden. If I plant good seeds then fruit will come. If I plant weeds then weeds will come. Knowing that I HAVE that option to choose either just really changed things for me!
So to ultimately get back to your question, if people donāt know that they can purposefully plant positive good thought seeds, then making them aware of that might be enough to change the world!
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