Im not a huge fan of aspec shipping discourse but i have some strong opinions rn. So, ive come up with a hypothetical. Imagine this:
Pretend that weāre back when there was NO LGBTQ representation in media. As in, you could think of literally example of a queer character if asked. (I know LGBTQ rep is still scarce, but not as scarce as it used to be, so just pretend it is that super rare).
Lets say that there is a canonically sapphic character in a show you like, letās say sheās a girl. You get so excited because thereās literally NO rep in any other shows you can find. Excited, you go on the internet to look for stuff about her. However, when you get onto your social media of choice, all you see is fan content shipping her with a male character.
On the surface, this is completely fine. After all, the show doesnāt exactly specify her identity, she could be bi, pan, etc. Sapphic women can like men. But, you find it odd how the only ship art is with her and a man. She had chemistry with tons of female characters, after all. Why not ship her with them? It seems telling that most people ignore her queerness and just say āsapphic women can still date menā to excuse it, despite that being true.
When you post about how frustrating it is, people start getting mad, saying that youāre gatekeeping queerness. People ignore your points and just say ābut queer people can be in straight relationshipsā even though you know thatās true. People say that āits just fan content, let them have fun.ā Most people doing the shipping arenāt even sapphic themselves.
To you, it feels like the only piece of canon representation you have is being ignored completely. You know queer people can have straight relationships, you have no issue with that. Itās the fact that people are basically treating her like a straight character and ignoring her queerness that bothers you.
This is how it feels to see people shipping aro character. I know aro people can date. Iām aro and I hope to be in a relationship someday. Some of my closest friends are aspec and are dating other aspecs. But thatās not the point.
The point is that when aspec characters become canon, which is UNBELIEVABLY RARE, so many people choose to ship them anyways. Not only this, but peopleās just treat them as if they were allo, just using āaspecs can dateā as a cover for completely ignoring the characterās identity. Aspec relationships have nuance. They sometimes donāt look like a ānormalā allo relationship.
You can ship aspec characters respectfully. You can:
Put them in a queerplatonic relationship
Put them in a romantic relationship that doesnt involve sex (if theyāre allo-ace)
Put them in a sexual relationship that doesnt involve romance (if theyre aro-allo)
Put them in a relationship thatās sexual and romantic, but acknowledge that the relationship might be different than a one between allo people
Handle the ships with nuance and understand that even in a relationship, the character still isnt allo
And most importantly, listen to aspec people when they tell you something youāre doing is inaccurate or harmful.
Sorry for the rant but justā¦ please listen to aspec people!!! We deserve good representation too
