mud-raker

have you heard?

[mud-raker]

Whoever locked Reyes, Southby and Sloan in a room together has a fantastic sense of humour

That’s one way to put it. Oh! I have an idea. What if Edward orchestrated the whole thing to get his favorite suspects in a room? I don’t know why Southby would be there… Wait, yeah, that’s a stupid idea. Maybe Papa Bax put ‘em in a box together in hopes that they’d all kiss and make up? I don’t think Wyatt would be opposed…

@hartchitect @southby @baxtheaxehole @salvagingsloan @robocxp

Got any information you’d like to share? Burning questions? Send them here.

[mud-raker]

UH WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH ASH AND WYATT GETTING MARRIED

Who knows! Only thing anyone told me is that they tattooed their wedding bands on. For someone who’s afraid of commitment, that seems pretty big. I wonder what the cover-up will be. Maybe some wild flowers? Or a snake. 

Not that it’ll matter if everyone dies because of whatever got mailed to the sheriff’s office. 

@hartchitect @ash-borden

Got any information you’d like to share? Burning questions? Send them here.

[mud-raker]

who has the biggest stick up their ass in muddy waters?

… Did you really expect me to say anyone other than Eddie? What were you looking for here? What do you want from me?

Got any information you’d like to share? Burning questions? Send them here.

@robocxp

[mud-raker]

What's James's story?

I have some theories about this.

So, my sources tell me he’s a lawyer... and by that I mean I saw him at the courthouse while I was turning in some paperwork. But that just seems too cut-and-dry to me. I think he’s an agent from the FBI or CIA or FTC, sent here to weed out corruption in the MWPD. Or maybe he’s a new Rascal. Or he’s here on behalf of the Syndicate. He’s just... he’s too scary and buff to be a laywer, okay?! It doesn’t make any sense!

@jameswellsrp

Got any information you’d like to share? Burning questions? Send them here.

[mud-raker]

Is this party all just a ploy to weed out the thespians and lesbians?

I think it might be a ploy to literally murder everyone in Muddy Waters. 

[mud-raker]

Who do you think is behind the collapse?

The f-- - flippin’ housing authority or whoever it is that’s supposed to make sure buildings are up to code around here! What are you expecting me to do here? Solve all the police’s problems? This just in, but there are dead bodies floating in the pool and I’m missing a shoe and my glasses are broken and I’m freaking out.

Oh god, I’m gonna throw up. I don’t think my HMO covers any of this.

[mud-raker]

I wonder how Brooklyn feels about his date making eyes at anyone he can. We see you, Damion.

Does Damion really date anyone or does he just fall in love with whoever’s attractive and in reaching distance? 

@damndamionx

[mud-raker]

How long before Jesse drowns someone

How do we know he hasn’t already? Who’s keeping track of him? It only takes a couple inches of water to drown a person, so he could’ve taken care of it outside or in one of the restrooms. If he hasn’t already, I’m guessing he’ll wait to see who’s Prom Queen and King. 

I’m gonna start tailing him... right after I finish this drink. Not because a kid dressed in Hot Topic Couture scares me, but because I don’t wanna leave my cup unattended.

@jesse-childs

[mud-raker]

Are Eva and Clara going to cross paths again and commence their interrupted cat fight?

Fingers crossed. And let’s hope the boys stay out of it this time. They’re both grown-ups, let ‘em work it out one way or another.

Be good, but if you can’t be good, take notes and send ‘em here.  

@evaxreid @deputyxjones

[mud-raker]

This just in: the gas leak was all just a ploy for Mac to see Sloan in wet fabric

By ploy, I assume you meant that she volunteered her ingenuity and efforts to serve the local community. With such an obvious heart for the people of this town they should have promoted her to sheriff instead of Baxter.

Be good, but if you can’t be good, take notes and send ‘em here.  

@detectivemacdaddy  @baxtheaxehole

[mud-raker]

Who will Eva bone tonight? *spins wheel*

Sour grapes much? Sure, word has it she goes Fatal Attraction like a human hangover but people have opted to die for less.

Be good, but if you can’t be good, take notes and send ‘em here.  

@evaxreid

[mud-raker]

Anyone wanna take bets on who Reyes will arrest first? Mac? Southby???

Can cops arrest cops? Is that a thing? Does that mean I can put Mac under citizens arrest? 

Anyway, my bet’s on Wyatt. He’s already demanding to be fed grapes, so it’s all downhill from here. Who eats peeled grapes, anyway? 

@detectivemacdaddy @southby @hartchitect @robocxp

[mud-raker]

Isn't it past Jordan's bedtime

I have it on good authority that Jordan doesn’t have to go to bed until midnight tonight on account of the festivities.

@jordan-fraser

[mud-raker]

Uhh I think there are police at the party. Why isn't the sheriff shutting the place down????

You’re joking, right? They probably made the VIP list. 

If you’re under the assumption that Muddy’s cops are here to maintain order and protect you or this town you’ve gotta be a few fries short of a Happy Meal™.

Be good, but if you can’t be good, take notes and send ‘em here.  

[mud-raker]

Does CLARA have a WEAPON at a PARTY ?

Yes, and it doesn’t make me feel any safer. Every time she’s near me, I shield my eyes in fear that they’re gonna get poked out. I can’t deal with my optometrist yelling at me for losing an eye at Spring Fling.

@deputyxjones

[mud-raker]

What do you think caused the gas leak?

The question isn’t what, but who. This investigator has been on the scene, looking into the structure of the Community Center for the past hour and a half. The bar is clear, so is the pool, and the bar... What I’m trying to say here is that it doesn’t look like anything’s amiss here in Muddy Waters Community Center. So what caused the gas leak? Or who? I’m developing a theory that it’s the MWPD itself. How else do you explain the response times? The police in the pool? The convenience of it all?! I’m still on the scene, surveying the crowd for suspicious activity. If you hear of anything, you can find me at the bar. Or, uh... wherever the action is.

[mud-raker]

Suspected Gas Leak Cancels Prom for Seniors at Stonefield Secondary School

Breaking news develops at the Muddy Waters Community Center as chaperones and attendants alike report a suspicious odor permeating the building. Our sources tell us that deputies from the Rapids County Sheriff’s Office are on their way to investigate a potential gas leak. As of right now, we have no leads on what might have caused this mishap, but we are aware that the entire building seems to be affected. As you may know, the Community Center is a two-floor compound that includes a swimming pool, basketball court, and cafeteria. Tonight, however, it was to play host to Stonefield Secondary School’s senior prom. Was this a well-meaning senior prank, or was it a gift from the Rascals? Perhaps the Whitewater Syndicate wanted in on the action...

As of now, the school is being evacuated. We’ll keep you updated with further news regarding the incident.

UPDATES: Prom Hijacked

Folks, it has been less than one hour since the evacuation, and we’ve already received word that the Muddy Waters Community Center is being repurposed for the evening. Troy, the bar best known for replacing The General’s (rest in peace), announced that this year’s Spring Fling will be taking place in the-- brace yourselves-- as-of-now defunct rec center. You’d think someone had actually planned the whole affair, being that the place is still dressed to the nines. I am on the scene right now and, let me tell you, I have never seen so many dejected teenagers in my life. They’ve all filed out of the building, relinquishing their prom to the hands of Troy. How very fitting for a Grecian theme. Tonight has been a conquest for someone, that’s for sure.

In more official news, despite multiple complaints about the kidnapped prom venue, no officers have been deployed to the scene since the evacuation. Details will be released as the event unfolds. Stay tuned.

This is a developing story.