System Pride!

This is a page created for people like me DID and other systems who need encouragement, support, and PRIDE I hope you find something that can encourage you on this page.

[positivelyadhd]

reminder that forgetting things doesn't make you a bad person. I know the neurotypical world often places a lot of emphasis on the importance of remembering things and if you struggle with memory that can be difficult to deal with. so I wanted to remind you that being forgetful does not make you any less.

You deserve to be surrounded people that will be patient and understanding with you no matter what you forget. forgetting things does not make you careless or lazy or whatever the world may lead you to believe. you are always always worthy of kindness and understanding.

[thestarseersystem]

Hypersexuality in Systems

I wanted to spread some positivity for systems who are hypersexual! I never see positivity for this or anyone talking about this but it deserves to be talked about!!!

It's okay if you're not all hypersexual and some of you sex repulsed

It's okay if you have young hypersexual alters, you deserve to be treated with respect and not shamed.

It's okay if it's hard to have a sexual relationship, you'll heal together.

It's okay if you have a hard time talking to people about it, take your time

It's okay that you feel those feelings, it's okay

You all deserve to be loved and validated. You deserve happiness.

Please reblog and add more if you would like!!!

[multipride]

Do you know what an alter coming out of dormancy might be like? bc recently (past couple days or so) we've been experiencing things that we normally experience when a split is happening/about to happen but there isnt really a reason rn for a split to be happening but there is an alter ik exists that's dormant that i've been thinking about more recently so im thinking that this might be her resurfacing? but im not sure

Thanks for the question!

I think that alters coming out of dormancy is somewhat  different between systems and between alters within systems too. Its difficult to describe a specific way that it feels like when an alter comes out of dormancy, because its not a singular type of experience.

Within our own system, we have had alters go into and come out of dormancy at varying degrees. Sometimes they went into dormancy because they couldn't deal with the current situation, and so when the situation had passed and it was more safe they started to come out more. For us, this alter was very talkative and happy and so made it very apparent when they were around, so it wasn't too hard to figure out that they weren't hiding away anymore. Another instance occurred when an alter went into dormancy because our situation changed and essentially made their role in our system redundant, and when this alter came out of dormancy they had changed their identity a drastic amount but still identified themselves as the previous alter and that's how we figured out that this alter was still around (before that we had sort of assumed they had integrated with another alter but apparently that was not what had happened).

Its not always obvious or clear cut whats occurring internally within a system, and these processes are not necessarily an all or nothing event. Sometimes it takes time for an alter to come out of a dormant state or make themselves known. I'm not sure I would be too concerned about whether or not an alter is coming out of dormancy until they make themselves known. It can be easy in these situations to overanalyse every weird feeling or out of place emotion as a sign of something, but this is ultimately not helpful to both you and your alters to constantly be analysing their actions and feelings to determine what is and isn't out of place. People are complex, and not everything has a deeper meaning.

I would say that the best thing here would be to work on communication within the system, as this communication helps to improve system collaboration and helps to allow alters to be heard and seen, which is important work to do. That way, if an alter that may be coming out of dormancy wants to communicate they will have the option to do so. Try not to pressure yourself to figure out everything about your system all at once. Its a process and it takes time.

I hope this has helped!

Much love,

MWS (Magic Wishes System)

[multipride]

hi, you wouldn't happen to know anything about DID/OSDD/system pride flags?

Thank you for your question!

I do know that the profile picture we've chosen for this blog is partially a DID pride flag; the white, orange, and black stripe.

I don't know an awful lot about its origin, but I know that there is some issue over inclusively regarding it because it was specifically created to represent DID and other dissociative disorder related systems. This is not a part of the discourse I'm current a part of, for various reasons (we have made a post about endogenic systems in the past and have no desire to be exclusionary of varied existences of different systems but it is a complex issue).

There are no other widespread flags or symbols that I'm aware of, unfortunately. If anyone else knows of any other system symbols, we'd love to hear about it!

Much love,

MWS (Magic Wishes System)

[hello-world-from-system]

[not-a-glossary]

Inner World

Some people with DID/OSDD have an Inner World, some do not. Memories of the inner world may be clear, may be nonexistent when fronting, may be blurry, etc.

There may be alters with the ability to change the whole headspace, alters without the ability to change anything, and alters that experience any abilities in between.

Some Inner Worlds contain multiple planets, galaxies, dimensions, etc. Some Inner Worlds may be a single room, or even center around a single object (example: a table headmates may sit at).

There may be magic, physics may function differently- anything the mind can conceptualize may exist/be true in the inner world.

Alters can have varied amounts of access to the inner world: the ability to go everywhere, being limited to certain areas, only being able to observe, complete lack of access, etc. Access abilities may change over time.

The inner world or parts of the inner world often indicate various things about the state of the brain. For example, the ability to access the inner world may change due to strong emotions, the inner world itself may change because of the needs of alters or because of strong emotions, inner worlds may have areas designated to hold stress and trauma, etc.

[mallratsys]

idk which system/system members need to hear this but you don't need to provide every detail about your system or headmates just to prove yourself on this website.

[multipride]

... i keep having thoughts and dreams about trauma that i know we’ve never experienced (i’m the primary trauma holder) and i don’t know why. we experienced something kind of similar... i guess? but it’s not the same and it’s not to that extent. it’s disturbing me. idk if you can help but do you have any suggestions on whats happening and how to stop it?

Hey there, thanks for your question! I am very sorry for how long it has taken to respond.

It is not uncommon to have dreams of stress or trauma situations that are not directly related to the trauma that you experienced. This is particularly common with regards to extended periods of stress/trauma, such as with complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Dreams are just another way for the brain to process things, and when it comes to unprocessed trauma it is not always as simple as just going through the actual experience.

Unfortunately, I don't have any good way to help stop these sorts of dreams. We still experience dreams like this, but we have found that decreasing exposure to stress and triggers helps quite a bit. I suspect trauma therapy would help immensely too, although it's not something I've been able to do much of so I cannot say how effective it might be.

One thing that I have been told previously by a therapist is to not fear the dreams, to not be resistant to them or try to delay sleeping to try to avoid them. Although dreams are not the best way to process trauma, it is still a way of processing and it may still be helpful to your long-term healing. It definitely can suck, but attempting to avoid dreaming often just results in insomnia or a self-fulfilling prophecy of having terrible dreams because you expect to. Try to be kind to yourself and your brain while it works through things, either consciously or subconsciously.

I hope this has helped. If anyone else has anything else helpful to add, please do!

Much love,

MWS (Magic Wishes System)

[multipride]

TW: abuse mention//

I’ve recently discovered that I am most likely a system, due to an alter/headmate that has latched onto the name Minato (this is actually how I figure out most things about him he latches onto something and I get some sort of… I can only describe it as a feeling that “that is his name, that is what he looks like”) He appears to be a consistent co-fronter and I am at the moment what seems like permanently stuck in the front.

I know exactly what trauma would have caused me to form a system and how Minato acts backs up that theory, I suffered from emotional abuse from about the timeframe of 4th/5th grade - late 8th grade and now with mild gaslighting even through 10th/11th grade.

I had my first of my only two “black spots” in my memory in late 4th grade or early 5th grade, a kid got WAY too close to me and I was scared for my safety. My vision was black for a few seconds and when I came to I had kicked the kid. My other blackout was 6th/7th grade my friend snuck up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder and I blacked out and stabbed him with my pencil.

With all the terms and all the… fighting.

I just can’t find any resources at this point? One source says endogenic systems are fine the other says only traumagenic ones exist.

We THINK we are traumagenic, due to Minato and the time frames lining up and all

But I just don’t know and it’s hard to find literally anything about this… do you know any reliable sources?

Hey there, thanks for your question! I am very sorry for how long it has taken to respond.

I am glad you are seeking clarity on your lived experiences and introspections. Its not always easy to get a clear cut answer.

I am sorry you are finding it difficult to find resources. Unfortunately this is a community that is full of gatekeeping and misinformation everywhere, so I understand your struggle.

Personally, I wouldn't try to gather information from things such as personal blogs or Facebook groups because again, those are largely just people sharing personal experiences and more discourse than actual information.

I would recommend sources that are more on the scientific and medical side of things. I will say, these sources will predominantly use DID terminology and you will likely never come across the term Endogenic within it, and that's largely because the term has no scientific relevance to the study of multiplicity except for potentially the sociology/anthropology side of things. People will say that the science is biased towards DID, and that it ignore endogenic systems. I think a lot of the terminology debate comes from a lack of understanding of both multiplicity and lack of understanding of trauma and the various ways it impacts people.

You do have to take into account that the understanding and research into DID and multiplicity is still very new, and the majority of case studies for DID are generally in the more overt cases of it (which is already a very low percentage of cases) and generally as a result of very extreme and prolonged trauma. When people see this evidence, they like to try to compare traumas and pains and timelines. They want to be validated, but it is hard when you don't see your traumas represented or you don't know if you have been traumatised or don't feel like you've been traumatised. This is largely my understanding of how a lot of the endogenic and gatekeeping discourse came about. It is hard to conclusively extract just information from it because of how new the information is wrapped up in personal opinions and defensiveness of their own lived experiences. It certainly is complex.

I would personally start with https://did-research.org/ as I find their site very easy to navigate and relatively unbiased compared to other online sources. https://www.isst-d.org/ is also good.

If anyone else would like to share their own sources, please feel free to!

I hope this helps

Much love,

MWS (Magic Wishes System)

[multipride]

Hey! I’m asking in hopes of better understanding, but is it possible for a traumaholder to go into dormancy after getting out of the traumatic environment? And will they ever come back out of dormancy?

Hey there, thanks for your question! I am very sorry for how long it has taken to respond.

Alters can come in and out of dormancy for many different reasons. Theres no way of knowing exactly for how long they may remain dormant, but it's definitely possible for them to return.

Generally, after leaving a traumatic environment, a system will be in a state of flux for some time while the new normal is established. Some alters may go into dormancy, some may become more prominent or change drastically, you may discover new alters or alters that you weren't aware of previously. Try to be patient and kind to yourself and your system during this time, the transition is difficult. Unfortunately, healing from trauma is not as easy as escaping the traumatic environment, and you will likely feel as if you've suddenly gotten worse. This is simply because you're exhausted from surviving the situation you have for as long as you have, and you need time to rest. Once again, be kind to yourself, you need time to recover and time to establish what is normal for you and your system. This may mean you lose alters you relied on to dormancy since they are not needed to shoulder the trauma, and discovering new alters who are now freer to be out because they are not at risk in the traumatic situation anymore. It is hard, but it is important and good to be away from your trauma situation.

I wish you all the best of luck.

Much love,

MWS (Magic Wishes System)

[multipride]

can alters identify as trans? we have some alters who identify as cis, and others who are trans. our trans alters are both fictives- however, they are not trans in canon. body / host is afab genderfluid, if it matters.

Hey there, thanks for your question! I am very sorry for how long it has taken to respond.

I am not by any means an expert in gender identity or how being a multiple impacts gender identity. I can say I have met systems who are trans, both those who are actively seeking to transition and those who are not. I have also met systems who have alters of varying genders but collectively have no desire to seek any sort of transition or label themselves as trans.

When it comes to individual alters who have a gender different to the bodies gender, I think whether or not they identify themselves as transgender is very much up to the individual alter.

I'm not one to promote gatekeeping in communities. I know that both the multiple/DID community and the trans community can be full of gatekeepers trying to tell you what is and isn't real. But everyone's live experience is different, and it is up to each individual to decide what is right for them. I would just advise taking care with who and where you share labels, especially with regards to such stigmatised identites, because not everyone will be understanding.

Just remember that each individual in your system is part of a collective, within one body. They have individual identities but there is also a collective identity they fit into. You are allowed to have things in common with your alters, and your alters are allowed to be very different from you. This is just part of the human experience, to simultaneously be simple and logical but also complex and contradictory.

One last thing I'll leave you with in regards to fictives is that canon is really not that important. Fictives can vary so wildly from source materials that even using it as a reference point at times is not really relevant. Don't feel like your fictives have to be 100% like they are in their source material, because they never will be.

I hope this helps!

Much love,

MWS (Magic Wishes System)

[multipride]

hey we are a newish system and well I could use some advice, so one of my alters Leo is a trauma holder and due to my past being with so much hate and anger he has anger issues and a temper, he blew up at one of my friends and he really needs to get his act together so he doesn’t start drama with others I’m worried about him.

sometimes I get lots of dysphoria due having girl alters I’m a trans gay guy and there are girl alters who are lesbian, bisexual and Pansexual I just feel weird that all the sudden I’m getting feelings for girls when I know for sure that I’m gay but than I realize that it’s one of my girl alters I just feel weird but hey we can’t choose who enters the system also do alters form due traumatic memories or do they sometimes form randomly.

thank you,

Taylor (host of the Oak Tree Gang)

Hi there! Apologies for the time it took to respond to this.

The first thing I would suggest is therapy, because it does sound like there is a lot of stuff that might require one on one professional help. I am aware that this may be difficult, particularly given that systems can face issues with therapy and that trans people can face their own issues with therapy, so I know this may not be possible for everyone.

The anger management issues are understandable given the alter is a trauma holder. Again, this is something that may need to be worked on in therapy. I'm not a therapist nor a mental health professional in any context. Beyond therapy, the best I can advise is to try anger management coping techniques (one that worked for us is snapping blu-tac/putty, but therapists have suggested throwing socks at walls and punching pillows as a release) and setting system ground rules for behaviour when fronting.

The identity confusion around having alters of different genders and sexuality is very real. The only thing that really helped us is time and exploring our genders and sexualities individually and as a system together. We haven't landed on anything solid still, but we've become more comfortable with the individuality, differences, and similarities between each of us

As far as how alters form, this does vary between each alter and each system. It is true that alters can form from traumatic and/or stressful experiences, but it can also seem like alters appear randomly. It is also possible that alters are dormant or less developed before you become aware of them. An alter making themselves known doesn't necessarily mean they formed recently.

I hope this helps!

Much love,

MWS (Magic Wishes System)

[multipride]

I've met a lot of system friends over the past year, and it's made me realise that I may have an alter. I've had a voice inside my head who comforts me when I get scared and anxious about things. recent events have made these emotions way worse and the voice has been there trying to take care of me. It feels? Different from who I am, is this an alter? I'm not sure if I have more? Is it common to find out youre a host after hearing about other system?

Hey there, apologies for how long this took to respond to!!

I can't say for certain whether you have a system, or whether you have DID, or another dissociative disorder. I dont know much about your situation and I dont know your experiences, so I can't make that call.

I can say from the limited information you've given me, it does not sound like a system in the sense of DID or multiplicity in general. The voice is internal, and you've not stated that there is any switch of consciousness or loss of control of your body, or any significant memory gaps that may indicate another alter fronting, or any dissociative symptoms at all.

So there is a therapeutic term called Internal Family System as a way of managing and self-caring. Most people have an internal dialogue and the ability to self-regulate and may even feel like there are different parts of them that have different roles. This doesn't inherently make a person multiple.

It is definitely possible for a person to discover they have a system from discussing their symptoms with another system, especially since mental health professionals often dont recognise or want to diagnose systems and popular media portrays it so inaccurately. However, simply hearing a comforting internal voice does not make you a system.

If you'd like to discuss this further, feel free to message me or send another ask. I hope this helps!

Much love,

MWS (Magic Wishes System)

[multipride]

Many TWS!!!

Hi there I have member in my subsystem who is an introject and I have a hard time getting close to L (name pronouns). L is sometimes kind and protective and sometimes goes into psychotic breaks and becomes destructive and it wears out my body because L will thrash and throw us against walls and sometimes even self harm or dissociate and go off on everyone around L. L even hits me with L's meterstick when I've done something L doesn't like because L says L is a schoolteacher trying to right my wrongs and that L is trying to protect me and toughen me up. I'm starting to believe L has a personality disorder and I'm not sure how to approach it. I have BPD myself and I'm Autistic but L's behavior reminds me of my (not our bodies) bio parents and I'm starting to wonder if L is a factive as well. I keep L in a cage and under chains to avoid L's switchy personality and although I recognize it's not the most humane thing to do I'm unsure how to approach L and try to help L heal from whatever it is L is suffering from. I want to help L but L scares me because I'm not sure if L is trustworthy. L looks nothing like my parents. L is a tall shadow figure about 9 feet tall. Any suggestions on how I could approach L safely? Thanks.

-Bem, He/She/Heshe, (She/Hers today)

Hi there, I do apologise for taking so long to respond to this message.

I am also sorry you are experiencing issues with L, it does sound like a very difficult situation. It does sound like L is misguidedly attempting to protect the system and sees themself as an authority figure within the system.

First off I would recommend that if you are able to, getting assistance from a therapist can be incredibly helpful in navigating these sorts of things, particularly if you can find one who has experience with systems. I know that's a privileged position and that not everyone will be able to access a therapist at all. But someone who has more in-depth knowledge about your specific situation and system may be able to provide more helpful insight and advice than I can.

I would also advise against ostracising difficult alters in general, where possible, as it generally does nothing to mitigate their behaviour and sometimes can reinforce their misguided beliefs that their behaviours are justified.

For your specific situation, it may not be best for you to directly try to confront this alter, particularly if L believes they hold some kind of authority over you and/or is a factive of a parental figure. People in positions of authority are rarely great at receiving any sort of criticism or confronting communication from someone they view as beneath them. It may work better if you have another member in your system try to reach out to them, especially if you have any system members who L may view as more of an equal. I dont know the specifics, so I'm not sure how L may react to someone who is more of a superior to L, so I would try to stick with an equal for now.

If any other systems have gone through anything similar or have any further advice to assist, I would welcome that. Keep in mind that most people on this website are just coming from their personal experiences, and generally would not have any formal mental health training, so please use caution when considering any advice here.

I hope your situation improves, and I hope this helps!

Much love,

MWS (Magic Wishes System)

[casperthefriendlysystem]

It seems like a lot of people are posting about persecutors and stuff and I'm about to be another person (and sorry to all the persecutors who are having to read people talking about them like they're not here. I see you)

(cw for references to child abuse)

But for the love of all that is good in this world, would everyone stop treating persecutors like they aren't people? I understand that I have a less vivid headspace than a lot of people and I'm sure you guys have had some awful things happen. But the road to fixing that isn't talking about what persecutors are or are not allowed to do.

Persecutors don't need to want to recover for you to show them kindness. I'm sure lots of you were treated like you weren't worth helping as kids. Treated like you made it too hard to be worth someone's time? Well you weren't and neither are those alters.

It's about forgiveness. About forgiving your alters and being that person for them who neither of you ever got. When someone tells you that you are violent and evil and an abuser and dangerous, that doesn't inspire you to be better. In fact, it can inspire you to be worse since everyone already thinks the worst of you anyways.

100% set boundaries with your alters and when they cross them, explain to them that you are hurt and you need space or whatever but don't give up on them. By believing in them enough to talk about how their actions hurt you without saying that they are inherently evil or flawed, you may just inspire someone who wasn't interested in healing previously to be a better version of themself.

And persecutors (former and current) please feel free to add on or refute something here. We're mostly talking from the point of view of our own system and what we have dealt with so I recognize I have a limited view of what's going on.

[persecutorlifeandsupport]

We’re here for a reason and we have a purpose. Being a persecutor isn’t fun, people shouldn’t really want to be one- but we’re?? still people. Even those of us who don’t really ID as human are still sentient beings just like any non-persecutor. Shockingly, treating us like we’re irredeemable doesn’t really inspire us to change.

[multipride]

i have a serious question. i'll try to keep it vague in order to not trigger anyone but tw for pedophillia, csa brief mention of abuse.

we have a persecutor/sexual alter who talks to older people when she fronts and i dont know what to do. i know what triggers them to front but its hard to control because its things that come up randomly. nobody irl knows we're a system, especially because we are still living with our abusers and receiving a DID diagnosis would inhibit the chances of us transitioning in the future (we are waiting until we're diagnosed with dysphoria, which will take literal years), so talking to anyone about it isn't an option. its hurting all of us and its causing us to split more, but none of us feel like we can do anything to actually prevent it. what do i do? any time we try to talk to this alter she completely ignores us

Hi there, I am sorry it has taken so long to respond to this.

I am sorry you are going through that too. It is definitely not uncommon to have an alter that seeks out inappropriate attention in one way or another, especially if you are around trigger factors and are still in an unsafe environment.

I can understand how difficult your situation is, given how difficult it can be to medically transition as a trans person and the stigma that comes along with diagnosis like DID. I wish I had a solid solution for you. It is an incredibly difficult situation.

I would urge that you talk to someone who you feel is safe to talk to about this in some way, and if you ever do get the opportunity to see a therapist regarding your DID I would encourage that too, but I can understand why that is not currently possible.

The only advice I can think to provide to you is to attempt to keep yourself safe and avoid the trigger as much as possible. If possible, try to get someone who can look out for you or check in with you regarding specific behaviour like a friend, or maybe an alter with a protective or gatekeeper role that can cofront with this alter if possible to try to prevent these reactions.

I am sorry I cannot provide anything more specific, as I personally don't know the situation of being a trans system. I would ask that any system that may have similar experiences and have advice would respond to this, to try to get more input for this system. I hope this helps in some way.

Much love,

MWS (Magic Wishes System)

[multipride]

we have a introjects of one of our fictroject's source father, his source father was extremely ab*sive and that trait got carried to the alter. he has no reason to hurt said fictroject other than "just hating him" (his own words) and yet he still hurts him. please help

Hi there, sorry for taking so long to get to answering this.

I'm not sure how much assistance I will be, but it isn't uncommon for one alter to specifically dislike or be abusive to another alter. Persecutor alters may have many different individual reasons for feeling the way they do towards specific other alters, but from my understanding it is generally rooted in a kind of misplaced self-hatred and/or a misguided attempt to protect the system.

The only real recommendation I can make here is to work on internal communication and general therapy. I am not a therapist or a mental health professional, my advice just comes from my experience and personal knowledge. I know figuring out communication and working on individual issues with alters can take a very long time, but it is worth it for overall healing and system function.

One thing to remember is that alters are members of the system, they are still people, they are still part of the one whole. It generally does not help the system to further ostracise or villainize persecutor alters and doesn't help to improve their behaviour. I wish I could assist further.

If you want to discuss this further, feel free to message again or PM. I hope this has helped some.

Much love,

MWS (Magic Wishes System)