hey sweetie its your mother

[mum-offical]

hey! my kids told me to make an account and chose this username for me! its spelt wrong but they said thats the way you do it.

i'm the mum of anyone and everyone who would like me to be!

ooc:

im a minor so please nothing freaky

all your average dnis (homophobes transphobes anti feminists e.c.t.)

anything i post ooc will either have that or be in curly brackets (fully gave up on this after like a day so its a suprise what ill use to say ooc!)

ill probably add more to this later but thats all for now

my main is @baskabytheanglerfish !

[astronaut-offical]

Get your nutrients.

[mum-offical]

get your nutrients!!

drink your liquids!!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i must not Shake The Baby. Shaking the baby is the baby-killer. Shaking the baby is the baby-death that brings baby-obliteration. I must face my irritation at the Baby, and permit it to pass through me. I must be patient with the Goddamn Baby

[bill-cipher-offical]

SHAKE THE BABY. THE BABY DESERVES IT

[the-distortion-offical]

If the child cannot handle being shaken, then it is Defective. Best to start over with new, more durable Offspring.

[mum-offical]

please Do Not shake the baby.

[malwareproductions]

i was a baby once

[mum-offical]

I wasn't

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i must not Shake The Baby. Shaking the baby is the baby-killer. Shaking the baby is the baby-death that brings baby-obliteration. I must face my irritation at the Baby, and permit it to pass through me. I must be patient with the Goddamn Baby

[bill-cipher-offical]

SHAKE THE BABY. THE BABY DESERVES IT

[the-distortion-offical]

If the child cannot handle being shaken, then it is Defective. Best to start over with new, more durable Offspring.

[mum-offical]

please Do Not shake the baby.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

no wait they make a strong point

[mum-offical]

no they absolutely Do Not

[smol-gremlin-child-offical]

idea: officalverse except i kidnap everyone to bring them with me to the forest and disappear

(bonus point: child is fucking STRESSED when someone kept accidentally/purposely angering the forest spirits)

[mum-offical]

you know honey, if you want a sleepover you could just ask!

I'm always happy for people to stay with me you don't need to hide in the forest. my house is warm and I've got movies

[strawberry-offical]

gaydient

[mum-offical]

I support you and you gaydient!

[ham-sandwich-consumer-offical]

Magical pepper spray

[mum-offical]

honey. no. put that down.

[thewizardofhoes-speaking]

[breaking-news-offical]

BREAKING NEWS

What the actual fuck.

[mum-offical]

stay safe out there kiddos

[genderqueer-offical]

hey honey!

do you want a cup of tea and a biscuit?

- @mum-offical

oh my goodness, hi mum!! yes please!! :O

[mum-offical]

fantastic!! I'll put the kettle on!

[jonathan-sims-offical]

Hello, Archivist! ( @/nikolaorsinovthereal)

I am not giving you my skin.

@the-stranger-offical come get your Avatar.

[the-stranger-offical]

Now why would I do that? We need your skin for The Unknowing! I'm going to leave her right where she is!

Good job Nikola!

[mum-offical]

honey, taking people's skin isn't very kind I thought we talked about this?

[sherlock-offical]

hello honey!

would you like a cup of tea and a biscuit?

- @mum-offical

Yes, thank you.

-SH

[mum-offical]

fantastic! I'll put the kettle on ❤️

as long as you don't poison it...

[sherlock-offical]

I won't. Promise.

- SH

[mum-offical]

ok good!

[sherlock-offical]

hello honey!

would you like a cup of tea and a biscuit?

- @mum-offical

Yes, thank you.

-SH

[mum-offical]

fantastic! I'll put the kettle on ❤️

as long as you don't poison it...

[gahdamnpunk]

A QUEEN

[bathroom-stall-musings]

Okay, I don’t normally add on to posts but in this case I’ve got to.

Rachel Ann Bovier is a Pittsburgh legend who has been publishing her poems in city newspapers for decades. In more recent years, she started putting up these bill boards along major roads. For what reason? I have no clue. But I would often pass them on my way to Oakland for therapy. They never failed to cheer me up.

As a young trans writer, they gave me this precious little spark of joy. There was someone like me, a writer, a Pittsburgher, a trans person, who was confident enough to put their face on a bill board! I would always smile as we passed by and my mom took note.

Fast forward a few years and it’s my 21st birthday. My mom has been super excited about my gift and teased me about it over and over again. She said it was the best gift she’d ever gotten me and in many ways she was right. It was a custom poem she commissioned from Miss Bouvier! It congratulated me on my birthday, my academic success, lots of little stuff. It was simple and sweet and perfect.

I’m still not out to my parents about being trans, but that poem serves as a reminder to me that trans people are every where, they are artists, they are all ages, and their visibility is essential. So thank you to Rachel Ann Bouvier for being a great poetess and a Pittsburgh treasure!

[queer-joy-detector]

Queer joy detected!

[satan-offical]

I FUCKING HATE YOU /aff

[mum-offical]

thats not very kind honey

[sherlock-offical]

There are 243 possible ways to poison tea without altering its taste.

Relax. I’ve only tested 12.

[mum-offical]

why would you desecrate tea like this?

I thought I raised you better than this

also please do not continue to test poisons on you or others, that is neither kind nor safe

[breadcrumb-offical]

*hands you a knife* okay now kill those people who wronged you

[trans-cousin-offical]

I’m gonna go kill the government

Heheheheheheheheh

[mum-offical]

and I support you honey

do you want me to drive you anywhere?

[trans-cousin-offical]

the Houses of Parliament please

[mum-offical]

fantastic!

let's stop to get some food on the way, you need lots of energy to destroy parliament!

[trans-cousin-offical]

YAY

thanks mum

[chill-lesbian2013]

@da-police-offical

father can I borrow your car to go with them

I totally have a license

[da-police-offical]

...

I-

Kid, first of all, what the-

[chill-lesbian2013]

I want to help kill the government

[da-police-offical]

Murder is illegal. And you aren't licensed to drive

[chill-lesbian2013]

But it’s the government

[mum-offical]

look honey, if this loser won't let you take their car I'd be happy to drive you! I'm already going that way!

[chill-lesbian2013]

I'll gladly accept the ride, but don't call my father a loser or you might lose the ability to call him anything.

[mum-offical]

fantastic! now lets redirect that anger at the goverment!!!

[breadcrumb-offical]

*hands you a knife* okay now kill those people who wronged you

[trans-cousin-offical]

I’m gonna go kill the government

Heheheheheheheheh

[mum-offical]

and I support you honey

do you want me to drive you anywhere?

[trans-cousin-offical]

the Houses of Parliament please

[mum-offical]

fantastic!

let's stop to get some food on the way, you need lots of energy to destroy parliament!

[trans-cousin-offical]

YAY

thanks mum

[chill-lesbian2013]

@da-police-offical

father can I borrow your car to go with them

I totally have a license

[da-police-offical]

...

I-

Kid, first of all, what the-

[chill-lesbian2013]

I want to help kill the government

[da-police-offical]

Murder is illegal. And you aren't licensed to drive

[chill-lesbian2013]

But it’s the government

[mum-offical]

look honey, if this loser won't let you take their car I'd be happy to drive you! I'm already going that way!