Change pronouns as needed
"It's mice to neat you. Damn it! I blew it."
"Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less."
"I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people."
"I am begging you: don't run away."
"Get over it. It was years ago!"
"And you know why? Because you don't actually care."
"You love [Naame] so much you forgave him the second you heard, and that's what scares you."
"You have no idea how I feel. No idea!"
"I've been in your shoes. You know what? It scared the hell out of me too."
"What if she hurt me? What if she left me? What if she died? It would have been the end of me."
"You've got to risk love, [Name]!"
"I'm a lonely ghost of a man."
"It doesn't mean that you're never going to get hurt, but the pain you feel will never compare to the regret that comes from walking away from love."
"Trust me, pain beats regret every day of the week."
"Don't run away. Don't do it."
"I can't believe I'm saying this but, uh, I think you might be right."
"So.... Do you want to get married?"
"When you first meet a girl you give her two compliments above the neck. Yeah, tell her she's got nice lips, nice eyes, nice hair... she's intelligent, her moral ethics, whatever crap comes to your mind."
"Flip the power dynamic and your let her know that you're here to play."
"Love is magic comfort food for the weak and uneducated!"
"I know it sounds gross, but have two of them and you won't feel your face."
"It's all for your own good. And what's not for your own good is for my entertainment."
"[Name], he hit on your mother-in-law!"
"So what's your stance on casual sex?"
"I think I owe you an apology. I've enjoyed the company of all the other bridesmaids except you. I mean, you must feel terribly left out."
"I do hope that there's some way to rectify this injustice."
"I don't like to cross swords."
"Hey, why don't you scamper up to my room, boil some water, get the chicken claw out of my suitcase, do some light stretching, and I will be up in five?"
"And that's how it's done, son. That is how it's done."
"I will sneak into your room in the middle of the night and cut off your favorite appendage."
"I can make it look like an accident, honey. Don't push me."
"Try to be supportive. Normal. Not a train wreck... for once."
"We had plane sex somewhere over Albany. And Rochester. And South Bend, Indiana."
"You slept with my sister!"
"Don't be sad, you whiny bitches."
"I want to ask you something, when did casual sex become a crime?"
"I mean, now a days being a single means, what? You've lost your way? That something is missing?"
Never mind that every night I swim in a lake of sex, and they fall asleep in each others arms, spooning.
"Need we remind you that as the man-whore in residence, you have certain duties to the single ladies here tonight?"
"You look like a gay pirate."
"Tell me you're not breaking up with me on a conference call."
"I love all women. That's the problem here."
Jesus, doesn't anyone just wanna have fun anymore?"
"You really are as bad as they say."
"Listen up. I did not spend two hours waxing my lady business to not get me a little loving this weekend."
areudirty
annaxmalina
baratheonpilled
izzy806
andulkaphoto
tangentwithtanner
