April 17, 2023 The horror!
is my reaction to everything.
because every time I learn something has changed will change might change could change because there’s a split second where I know that this is the end because it will never be the same and that means it will never be ok
because the world will not tell me its plan so I have to piece together my own (because I have had to learn to piece together the things I am not told) because the world does not revolve around me but I don’t expect it to want it to need it to
because I did not plan for rain today and now I have to wear a different jacket
but I didn’t.
because I felt the horror and sat in it and tried to feel its full depth.
because I felt bats in my chest so I changed into my favorite shirt and put leaf’s clonazepam in my backpack
because I decided to go without a hood and let my glasses collect the rain and remind myself that my plans might unravel might fray might fade but I do not have to.
