You wanna know what I find real cute?
I find it reeeeaaal cute that all of these aphobic exclusionists (especially the ones that aren’t actually ace themselves, pfsshh) like to spout that, “If you are Ace and are ‘Actually Lgbt+’ then we’re not talking about you, hon. You are Lgbt+ but only for your same gender attraction/non assigned by birth gender identity. The lack of sexual attraction isn’t a true orientation worth protecting. It’s a TMI modifier, you’ll see in time, you experience no real discrimination for being ace. Only for your real Lgbt+ identity! ”, thinking it’s a flawless, righteous thing to say to the “actual Lgbt+” people who are Asexual that they claim to care about and want to protect.
Honestly, not only does that type of answer sound condescending and doesn’t make any of their aphobia hurt less but do you know what it sounds like to me? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SOUND LIKE TO ME, A DEMI-PANROMANTIC ASEXUAL WOC?!
IT SOUNDS LIKE WHEN WHITE FEMINISTS WHO IGNORE INTERSECTIONALITY SAY, “WE’RE ALL WOMEN AT THE END OF THE DAY AND OPPRESSED HARDER FOR BEING WOMAN SO TO TRULY FIGHT FOR FEMINISM YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR WOMANHOOD BEFORE YOUR ETHNICITY AND LEAVE RACE OUT OF IT”, AND JUST LIKE WHEN BLACK MEN WHO CONTRIBUTE TO MISOGYNOIR SAY, “ WE’RE ALL BLACK AT THE END OF THE DAY AND OPPRESSED HARDER FOR BEING BLACK SO TO TRULY FIGHT FOR BLACK EQUALITY, YOU HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR GENDER AND YOUR FEMINISM AT THE DOOR.” THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK THE WHOLE, “YOUR LBGT+ IDENTITY AND ASEXUAL IDENTITY ARE/HAVE TO BE EXPRESSED SEPARATE(LY)” ARGUMENT SOUNDS LIKE TO ME!
And I’m about to tell you why arguments like that are ignorant and harmful and full of shit, if you’re one not smart enough to put two and two together.
I AM A BLACK WOMAN, A WOMAN WHO IS BLACK. IF I GO INTO A FEMINIST EQUALITY SPACE, MY BLACKNESS DOESN’T DISAPPEAR. IF I GO INTO A BLACK EQUALITY SPACE, MY WOMAN-NESS DOESN’T VANISH. I’M NEVER ONE AND THEN THE OTHER, I’M BOTH AT THE SAME TIME AND THAT’S NEVER GONNA CHANGE OR NOT AFFECT HOW I’M TREATED BY SOCIETY!
Similarly…
I AM PANROMANTIC AND ASEXUAL, AN ASEXUAL WHO IS PANROMANTIC. WHEN I’M FIGHTING FOR LGBT+ ACCEPTANCE AND VISIBILITY, MY ASEXUALITY DOESN’T DISAPPEAR. WHEN I’M FIGHTING FOR ASEXUAL ACCEPTANCE AND VISIBILITY, MY PANROMANTIC-NESS DOESN’T VANISH. I’M NEVER ONE AND THEN THE OTHER, I’M BOTH AT THE SAME TIME AND THAT’S NEVER GONNA CHANGE OR NOT AFFECT HOW I’M TREATED BY SOCIETY!
Holy shit!!! Why is that so hard for so many people to get??? Oh wait, I know why. IT’S BECAUSE QUITE A FEW OF THESE APHOBES AND EXCLUSIONIST ARE NEITHER WOC NOR “REAL LGBT+” ASEXUALS. THEY DON’T HAVE EXPERIENCES BEING TOLD SHIT THAT’S BASICALLY EQUIVALENT TO, “NEGLECT AND LEAVE HALF OF YOUR IDENTITY AT HOME, YOUR EXISTENCE COMPLICATES THINGS AND MAKES PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE”. THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO EXIST AS EITHER. HOWEVER, THEY STILL THINK THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO IGNORE INTERSECTIONALITY AND TO SPEAK DOWN TO PEOPLE WHO ARE BOTH WOC AND ASEXUAL, LIKE ME, TO MAINTAIN AND ENFORCE THEIR OWN VIEWS AND IDEAS OF WHAT THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY LOOKS LIKES AND INCLUDES.
Damn ain’t that some shit, huh? In other news, I can’t wait for my point of view to be ignored and to be dismissed as just another “Angry Black Woman™” for bringing to light of how aphobes and exclusionists treat Asexual WOC like trash, regardless of their romantic orientation or gender identity. (Seriously, don’t even get me started on the amount of non-black exclusionists I’ve seen pull the, “Headcanonning Black female characters as Asexual desexualizes/oversexualizes them!!1!” card. They aren’t Black and they don’t know shit about the inner workings of Black politics or how misogynoir affects how Black women are view in relation to sexuality but they still act like they understand all and are helping, get the fuck out of here). So yeah, sorry not sorry for this long ass post but at first I was just tilted and now I’m hot about it. Aphobes and exclusionists are so fucking ignorant and counterproductive. Yikes.
