i saved a few and i keep them in a jar

A 24-year-old Finnish girl. Out there I'm a president of an international organization, a 5th year business student in the hospitality industry and a fun-loving people person that strives to do everything for a greater cause. In here, I'm a confused and often lonely girl dealing with anxiety and depression, recovering from a burnout. This is me, searching for the best version of myself.

[strangehorse]

my boyfriend and I sometimes struggle to be on the same page when it comes to comforting- often i just want to vent and don’t need advice, whereas validation confuses him and he wants a plan of action

to counter this, we’ve come up with a system where we ask: “do you want advice, empathy, both or neither?” 

if it’s just advice, i know to go straight to action points and not spend time on fluffy words 

if it’s just empathy, he knows i want to be reassured and comforted and that’s all

if it’s both, it’s time for advice that recognises how hard the situation is and is perhaps gentler in nature

if it’s neither, just a hug is really good

i recommend trying to use this in your lives! it makes sure you’re giving and getting what you need, and reduces the risk of resentment or similar

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

How to Avoid Over-Thinking

1. When you feel bogged down and you can’t clear your mind, do something physical or get some exercise.

2. Set a time limit for your “thinking time” then make yourself move on to doing something else.

3. Interrupt the thinking process or distract yourself by diverting your attention onto something very different.

4. Stop discussing what concerns you with everyone you meet as you’ll just end up confused, and you won’t know what to do.

5. Accept that uncertainty is part of this life, and we don’t have all the facts, or know what’s further down the road.

6. Throw yourself into a project, a hobby or some work. That will force you to refocus on something else instead.

7. Let your mind go blank and just relax for a while. It will help you see more clearly when you start to think, next time.

[unapologetically-human]

There are no “shoulds”. Everyone’s journey is different. Everyone takes different time to get there. You are where you are. And it’s okay. You don’t have to be here forever. You won’t be here forever. You’re learning and growing and changing everyday, even when things feel stagnant.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“There are people less qualified than you doing the things you want to do simply because they decided to believe in themselves. Period.”

— Unknown

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Be with someone who treats you as a destination, not a stop along the way.”

— Mandy Hale

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”

— Unknown

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Some Information on the Highly Sensitive Person

Roughly 20% of the population struggle with high sensitivity. Typical traits include the following:

1. As students, they work differently from other people. They often pick up on subtleties and may think deeply about a subject before sharing in a discussion or contributing in a classroom setting. (This does not necessarily mean they don’t understand the material, or are too shy to speak in public. It has more to do with the way the person processes information.)

2. They tend to be highly conscientious in their work. They notice and pay attention to details, and they think things through very carefully. Also, often being highly sensitive is equated with higher levels of intelligence, being highly intuitive and having a vivid imagination. Highly sensitive individuals work and learn best in quiet and calm environments.

3. Highly sensitive students and employees generally underperform when they are being evaluated. They are highly conscious of being watched, and this inhibits their ability to function at their peak.

4. Although some individuals who are born with this trait may seem to be more introverted by nature, being introverted and highly sensitive do not always go together. Instead, environmental factors have a greater influence on how the individual feels and reacts.

5. People with high sensitivity are more sensitive to both negative and positive experiences. Thus, they are more affected by rough treatment, pain, heartaches and insensitivity from others … but also seem to benefit more from being treated with kindness, care and thoughtfulness.

6. Other common characteristics of the highly sensitive person being easily over-stimulated (hence the need for quiet and calm), being more emotionally reactive than others, and having higher levels of empathy.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep… wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in track pants, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU.”

— Harry Tottszer

[intruitive]

MBTI Types When They’re Not Thriving OR Surviving

Scl(any sort of stress/sadness)

INTJ: Super withdrawn, swings between gratification and wanting happiness, and unhealthy single-mindedness. Existential angst. Needs people’s support but rejects company. Bottles up issues and then it bursts out.

ENTJ: Prone to attack others, often over the very issues they’re insecure about. Becomes a workaholic and ignores feelings of deep dissatisfaction, or stops giving a crap about anything. 

INFJ: Despairs of all things, just can’t see The Point of it. Goes through days mechanically, without purpose. Resists all help, considering it to be probing. Can’t get anything done. 

ENFJ: Laughs a bit too loudly and smiles a bit too widely. Escapes to private places, but feels lost. Tells their problems to someone close to them, but doesn’t accept any advice.

INFP: Isolate, isolate isolate. Sees the negative in everything and can’t see others’ love/affection for them. Loses their ‘purpose’ and drive, can’t find meaning in anything. Idealizes what they can’t have. Perpetual self-pity-party. 

ENFP: Super excitable, overdoes everything. Cannot focus at all, and their own emotions/reactions are out of their control. Breaks down sobbing. Unwilling to actually move forward. 

ISFP: Mull around in their own feelings, hates the world around them, because it’s failed them. Spiraling moodiness, “what ifs,” “should’ve done this,” but no one will ever see that. They themselves won’t admit it.

ESFP: Unusually critical, closed-minded, and overly concerned with matters of appearance over substance. Terrible sense of logic, yet argumentative all the same. Delves into the physical world in order to escape their mental one. 

ISTJ: Scattered mind, unable to think coherently. Becomes judgmental and passive-aggressive. Super pessimistic, takes on a me vs. the world mentality.

ESTJ: Intensely prickly, will take offense at anything but prefers to strike first and strike hard. If you hit a nerve, they’ll cut you out of their lives (for the time being). Tries to act happy and in control, but actually really moody. 

ISFJ: Withdrawn, tries to please everyone but is really passive-aggressive about it. Takes on a martyr complex. Refuses help while throwing a pity party because “no one cares about them.” 

ESFJ: Seeks control of people and surroundings, bossy and irritable. Might manipulate others into feeling bad, too. Denies that they’re the problem. 

INTP: Makes a lot of jokes about how things aren’t okay, but aggressively resists anyone’s sincere attention. Turns flat and emotionless, takes compartmentalizing to an unhealthy extreme. 

ENTP: Scatterbrained, cannot focus. Swings between extremes of emotions, but makes a point to show a falsely sanguine face to people. Feels like they’re crumbling from the inside. 

ISTP: Compulsive and reckless. Has a “screw this” attitude and pushes away actual problems. May or may not confide in people, but too down to take any advice. 

ESTP: Use bravado and ‘self-confidence’ to mask their insecurities. Get a rush from attention, whether it’s positive or negative, and thus seek it out. Obsessive mentality, particularly concerning negative outcomes.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

How to Avoid Over-Thinking

1. When you feel bogged down and you can’t clear your mind, do something physical or get some exercise.

2. Set a time limit for your “thinking time” then make yourself move on to doing something else.

3. Interrupt the thinking process or distract yourself by diverting your attention onto something very different.

4. Stop discussing what concerns you with everyone you meet as you’ll just end up confused, and you won’t know what to do.

5. Accept that uncertainty is part of this life, and we don’t have all the facts, or know what’s further down the road.

6. Throw yourself into a project, a hobby or some work. That will force you to refocus on something else instead.

7. Let your mind go blank and just relax for a while. It will help you see more clearly when you start to think, next time.

[thelatestkate]

°˖✧*•  Shop, Patreon *•. ✧˖°`

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows.

Awesome quotes (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[thelatestkate]

°˖✧*•  Shop, Patreon *•. ✧˖°`

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

7 Benefits of Solitude

1. It helps you regain your perspective on life.

2. It helps you to think more clearly and rationally.

3. It helps you to relax, and to unwind properly.

4. It helps to regulate and to calm powerful emotions.

5. It helps you figure out what you truly think and feel.

6. It helps you find solutions that are meaningful to you.

7. It helps you to be real, and to find yourself again.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Hang in there. It is astonishing how short a time it can take for very wonderful things to happen.

Frances Hodgson Burnett (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

As time goes on, you’ll understand. What lasts, lasts; what doesn’t, doesn’t. Time solves most things. And what time can’t solve, you have to solve yourself.

Haruki Murakami (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

5 Things that Keep us Stuck in Life

1. Believing negative, unproductive and self-defeating thoughts. These include thoughts like “I could never … I’m not good enough to … I don’t deserve to … I’m useless at …”

2. Blaming others. It’s true that other people can have a huge affect on what happens to us, and where we are in life. But we give them too much power if we let them set our course, and see ourselves as victims, and act like we’ve no power.

3. Taking ourselves too seriously. It’s important to work hard and to have integrity – but we also have to laugh and enjoy ourselves as well. Also, decide to let things go, and put up with some mistakes. You’re not a perfect person and, the truth is - that’s OK!

4. Being afraid to take some risks or to live close to the edge. To have an interesting life you must leave your comfort zone and say “yes” to some new chances and opportunities. It will broaden your perspective, reduce anxiety, and provide you with new options and possibilities.

5. Being afraid of change. It doesn’t take much effort to stick with what you know. The unknown can seem daunting as we don’t know where that leads! But we grow as individuals and lead a richer life if we learn to accept changes, instead of being scared.