Ducks? Ducks! @muusudgoi - Tumblr Blog

what if we kissed in the library

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seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

insomniac-arrest

I work at a bookstore and hearing one of my male coworkers call smutty romantasy "the downfall of society" because it's "literally just porn" radicalized me

Men have an entire industry. Entire industries dedicated to their sexualities. Let women have fantasy sex. there's not even a camera crew involved.

furiousfurious

Left this in the notes

insomniac-arrest

😂

goodattellinglies

drysqu1d

carbonating you then putting you in a water bottle with a straw

drysqu1d

not the. not the right image

drysqu1d

i dont think this is a post that needs reblogging actually. if you ask me

voyage-of-the-porn-spreader

tgis is so fucking funny to me. they accidentally Rock Lee'd a retired racehorse

voyage-of-the-porn-spreader

imagine youre a fat horse and your new neighbour is a personal trainer

personsonable-deactivated201908

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

miaislying

Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?

personsonable-deactivated201908

decay exists as an extant form of life

miaislying

That’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day

haystarlight

THE ORIGINAL?!?!!!!!!!!;!!!!!!!!???

shower-thoughts-last-responder

On my dash!??!

Please hold

kdrm

us tv: reviewed

hidinhaydn

Tonight on Game Changer:

The world's most insane game of telephone featuring six comedians, three artists, and a PA with the temperament of a shaking chihuahua being held at gunpoint

andhumanslovedstories

Buffy the Vampire Slayer season two finale would be so astonishingly powerful if David Boreanaz could. act. I’m sorry I’m sorry but guys. It’s still astonishingly powerful but Sarah Michelle Gellar is holding up the sky entirely on her own.

andhumanslovedstories

girl experiencing the hardest thing she's ever had to do

guy who didn't know the flash was on

thememedaddy

firebirdeternal

"I have never seen a cat that showed affection/love for it's owner" is the pet ownership version of "I don't believe in Female Orgasms they don't exist, after all, my wife has never had one"

t4timekeeper

ACCIDENTALLY LEFT MY MACERATED APPLE SYRUP ON THE STOVE AND IT CARAMELIZED I GUESS?

t4timekeeper

it was super thick and dark and golden and bubbly so i took it off the heat. happy accident.

t4timekeeper

tastes delicious so good. idk what to do with it though

t4timekeeper

thank you for your recommendation! with brief consideration, it has been disregarded.

sumblebee

when i was a kid rummaging thru my mums cd collection to steal Good Stuff i accidentally stumbled across one called ‘songs for bonking’ which was coloured awful negative neon picture of ppls feet on top of each other in a bed and ALL the songs were like fucking ska punk

sumblebee

cool it was worse than i remembered

musicmoreweirdthangood

OP this is not ska punk

zareblogalogalog

hollowedskin

Everyone’s talking about time after time but I think I would black out and wake up to bits of him splattered around the room and gristle in my teeth if someone put on I like to move it

museiums

artist: felicia chiao

lightweightkate

I’ve been cackling about this for like five minutes now

uncharacter-istically

[Video caption:

O-okay, let’s get into this, shall we?

*grumbling* Would you rather work for Lex Luthor or the Joker- *shouting* Lex Luthor, by like, a fucking mile!

Yes, yes, working for Lex Luthor is basically like being an Amazon employee that makes weapons of mass destruction, which is bad. Lex is like Donald Trump mixed with Mark Zuckerberg mixed with Jeffrey fucking Bezos, it’s not a great mix. He does not treat his henchmen well. Their lives still suck, and they are probably monitored on how long they take piss breaks for.

But let’s analyze what working for Lex Luthor is like versus the fucking Joker. With Lex you probably get a dental plan, a health plan, a paycheck, and the guy that you’re fighting really cares about human life. Superman will hit you just long enough to knock you out, so you’re not a treat, so he can stop the problem.

If you work for the Joker, your payment is you’re not fucking dead. You say one wrong thing? Bang. You don’t laugh at his jokes? Bang! You do laugh at his jokes? Bang! You think Joker gives a fuck about a henchman?

Who’s Lex Luthor’s right-hand-man? It’s a woman, you sexist, her name is Mercy, she’s awesome. Who’s Joker’s right-hand-man? Bob? Nah, he’s dead. Harley? Tried to kill her multiple times. Slappy? Who the fuck is Slappy?

The best case scenario of working for the Joker is that you fight the fucking Batman! And that presents its own fucking list of problems. If you stop Superman as a Lex Luthor henchman, Lex’ll be pissed, but he’ll be at least happy that Superman was caught. If you stop Batman as a Joker henchman, you better have a fucking coffin picked out yesterday.

This isn’t a fun hypothetical question, this is a screening technique that the doctors at Arkham use to determine your mental health! There is a right and a wrong answer to this question, and the correct one is Lex fucking Luthor. Thank you for coming to my fucking Ted Talk, have a nice day.

End caption.]