I'm sorry, what? Alice was supposed to kiss Bella and give her flowers? Not only in front of Bella's new boyfriend, but in front of her own husband as well? Absolute power move. A bi-icon. A polyamorous queen. Love that for her.
Stephenie Meyer Vampires: "Getting turned into a vampire is the worst pain imaginable. The vampire venom is so painful you'll want to die."
Anne Rice Vampires: "Getting turned into a vampire is like the best gay sex you've ever had while flying high on the best cocaine imaginable. But you'll shit yourself after."
[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over
sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.
Emmett making a videotape of himself titled “How to solve ALL of your self-inflicted life problems in under 5 minutes” to send Edward all the way to Brazil during New Moon.
I wonder what it was like for Jacob on the rez after he got the Cullens to stay in Forks. So many people in the tribe and in the pack hated the Cullens, and they were probably planning the biggest party to celebrate the Cullens leaving. And then Jacob decides the Cullens can’t leave and reveals a tribe secret to an outsider in order to force them to stay. And then a bunch of vamps arrive at the Cullens’ house to potentially help fight a war against other vampires a few months later, which wouldn’t be happening in Forks if the Cullens had left like they planned to. People may be more understanding because he imprinted, but I imagine that people weren’t happy with him for a while.
New Moon is supposed to be “inspired by” Romeo and Juliet, and I can definitely see the inspiration there, but I think it’s closer to Hamlet, with Bella in the position of Ophelia.
In Hamlet, Ophelia is led to believe Hamlet loves her, only for Hamlet to completely shatter this by saying he doesn’t love her and telling her to “get thee to a nunnery.” Hamlet later says after Ophelia’s death that he actually did love her, and him saying he doesn’t love her was a lie. Ophelia is then left completely alone. Her father is killed, her brother is off in France, and Hamlet is headed for England (and unknowingly to his death). She goes mad and ends up dying in such a way that it’s debatable whether or not she committed suicide.
In New Moon, Bella was led to believe that Edward loves her, only for Edward to shatter this by saying he doesn’t love her, doesn’t want her, and that she isn’t good for him. Later, after they get back from Volterra, Edward explains that all of that was a lie and that he really does love her. Bella is then left completely alone. The Cullens and Edward leave, and Alice has stopped looking into Bella’s future. Bella also can’t really tell anything to anyone because she can’t reveal that the Cullens are vampires. Bella becomes incredibly depressed and hallucinates Edward’s voice, and she ends up going cliff diving because of these hallucinations, which leads Alice to think that Bella committed suicide.
I do see the parallels between New Moon and Romeo and Juliet. There’s the forbidden love, and the end of the book where Edward wants to end his life because he thinks Bella is dead, which is the tragic ending of Romeo and Juliet. However, I think it somewhat fails as a parallel of Romeo and Juliet because the star-crossed lovers aren’t together for most of the book, and the main connection is the miscommunication about Bella dying. I think there are more parallels between Hamlet and New Moon if you look at Bella as a parallel of Ophelia. Also, Edward matches Prince Hamlet’s level of angst.
being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.
hii!! could i please request a cedric lives au cedric x ravenclaw!reader smut where they’re head boy and girl and have been close friends for a while (and are in a not necessarily secret relationship it’s just no one’s found out about it yet)??? if not that’s okay!!
Meet Me in the Prefect’s Bathroom ♡ | C.Diggory ⊹ ࣪ ˖
"They say Head Boy should lead by example—but honestly, if snogging my brilliant, maddeningly gorgeous Head Girl in every broom cupboard counts as misconduct, I’d gladly hand in my badge… right after one more kiss."
pairing : Cedric Diggory x fem!headgirl!reader
summary : In a sweeter timeline, Hogwarts’ golden duo can’t quite hide their feelings—or keep their hands off each other. Between secret smiles and stolen kisses, one thing’s certain: he’s utterly obsessed with her.
warnings : 18+, smut, fingering, oral (fem receiving), penetrative sex, lots of fluff and banter, they're way too in love, slight risk of getting caught (but they don’t care), playful dominance/submission vibes, established relationship
author's note : English is not my first language, so please forgive me for any grammatical errors or spelling errors. Re-blogging is completely fine with me, but please don't copy my work. I love you all. Enjoy <3. This is an 18+ fic, so minors do not enter!!!
della's note : Thank you so much for requesting lovie!! Hope you enjoy this lovely!!!
word count : 1.2k
navigation <3
banners : @/cafekitsune
“I swear to Merlin, if I see Filch again tonight I might throw him into the lake.”
You muttered the threat under your breath as your shoes clicked against the stone corridor. Cedric, of course, laughed softly from beside you, his hand brushing against yours in a way that was absolutely not subtle.
“Darling,” he said, voice like warm honey, “you know you’ve got a temper on you when you’re tired.”
You turned to glare up at him, mostly for show. “I wouldn’t be tired if someone hadn’t pulled me into a closet earlier just to snog me.”
He looked at you with a faux-innocent expression that only made him more infuriating. And hot. “That’s slander. I pulled you into the closet to tell you how breathtaking you looked in your robes today. The snogging was… a happy accident.”
You tried not to smile. You really did.
Instead, you elbowed him in the side. “Diggory.”
“Oh, Diggory, is it?” His voice dropped, mischief curling in every syllable. “Not Cedric, not love, not even darling—?”
“I’m not calling you darling in the middle of a corridor, you ridiculous golden retriever.”
He had the nerve to pout. “But I like it when you say it.”
“You like it when I say anything.”
“Exactly. Say something filthy next.”
You slapped your hand over his mouth, horrified and delighted in equal measure. “You’re Head Boy!”
He mumbled something behind your palm that you were fairly certain was ‘And you’re the Head Girl who moans my name’, which earned him a scandalized look and a slightly breathless giggle.
That was the problem with Cedric Diggory: he was way too charming for his own good. Or yours. Or Hogwarts’ collective sanity.
No one knew the two of you were together. Not really. People suspected, sure — there were bets in the common rooms, allegedly. But you two were careful. Mostly.
Except when Cedric was looking at you like that. Except when he brushed your knuckles in broad daylight, when he murmured in your ear during meetings, when he tucked hair behind your ear like he was enchanted.
Except when his mouth was now close to your ear as he murmured, “We’re done with rounds.”
You swallowed. “So?”
“So…” His hand slid around your waist, pulling you gently closer. “I think you owe me a reward. For being so good tonight.”
You arched a brow. “You were good?”
He leaned in, lips grazing your neck, the touch featherlight. “Wasn’t I?”
Merlin. He knew what he was doing.
You let your head tip slightly, barely suppressing a shiver. “What exactly are you hoping your reward will be, Diggory?”
His eyes gleamed, wicked and adoring. “Meet me in the Prefect’s Bathroom in ten minutes, darling.”
Your stomach flipped. You hated him.
No. You loved him.
You were absolutely doomed.
You arrived eight minutes later, breathless and giddy, and Cedric was already there, perched on the edge of the massive tub with a stupid, gorgeous smile on his face.
“Two minutes early,” he murmured. “I knew you couldn’t resist me.”
You rolled your eyes and walked past him—only for him to catch your wrist and tug you into his lap like it was nothing.
“Cedric!” you hissed, giggling against his neck. “We could get caught!”
“That’s part of the fun,” he said smugly, his hands already sliding up your sides. “Besides, we’ve got wards up. You’re safe.”
His mouth was on yours before you could respond—soft and slow, then hungry. Familiar. You kissed him back like you needed him to breathe, fingers threading through his hair, pressing closer.
His hands moved to your thighs, under your skirt, and he groaned into your mouth. “This bloody skirt is going to kill me.”
“I could say the same about those trousers,” you muttered, tugging at his belt with a grin. “And you’re so smug in them.”
“Because I know what they do to you,” he said against your collarbone, nibbling there now. “You eye me up like you’re starving.”
“I am starving. For your silence.”
He laughed—actually laughed, breath hot on your skin. “You’re insatiable.”
“Says the boy who dragged me here after curfew like a man on a mission.”
“Oh, I am on a mission.” His voice dropped. “Get on the side of the tub, darling.”
You obeyed without hesitation, breath caught in your throat as he knelt between your legs, his large hands spreading your thighs apart.
“You’re already wet,” he whispered, almost reverent as his fingers teased at your soaked panties. “Merlin, darling. You’ve been thinking about this all night, haven’t you?”
You nodded, eyes glassy.
He leaned forward and kissed just above the fabric, slow and gentle. “Let me taste you.”
“Please,” you gasped.
He didn’t need more permission.
Cedric moved your panties aside and buried his face between your thighs like a man possessed. His tongue was hot and firm, licking a stripe through your folds before circling your clit slowly. Teasingly.
Your fingers gripped the edge of the tub as he moaned against you, sending vibrations through your entire body.
“Fuck, Cedric,” you whimpered, already breathless. “Don’t stop, don’t—oh—”
He slid two fingers inside you, curling them just right as his mouth worked your clit. His other hand gripped your thigh, grounding you, pulling you closer like he couldn’t get enough.
“You taste like heaven,” he muttered, lips swollen and slick as he glanced up at you. “My perfect darling.”
“Ced—Ced, I’m—”
He didn’t stop until you came with a cry, legs shaking, hand flying to muffle your mouth.
He pulled back slowly, licking his fingers clean like a smug, gorgeous bastard. “You’re so beautiful when you fall apart.”
“Stop being hot for one second,” you groaned, still catching your breath.
“Never,” he said, standing and tugging you back to him. “Not when I have you.”
You kissed him again, messily, urgently, and he groaned as you unfastened his belt.
“Need you inside me,” you whispered.
That nearly undid him.
He lifted you up with ease—show-off—and backed you against the warm tile, pushing into you in one deep, delicious thrust.
You moaned in unison, your forehead falling against his. He held your waist, burying his face in your neck as he began to move.
“Fuck, you feel like you were made for me,” he gasped.
“You’re such a sap.”
“Your sap. Your lovesick, obsessed—”
“—Golden retriever.”
“Exactly.”
He thrust deeper, harder, every movement making you see stars. The tile dug into your back, the sound of water from the tub filling the room, but all you could focus on was him—his hands, his mouth, his whispered “I love you” over and over.
“I can’t stop touching you,” he murmured against your skin. “Don’t ever ask me to.”
“Good. Because I won’t.”
Your nails dug into his back, clinging to him as your second orgasm built fast and desperate.
“Ced, I—”
“I’ve got you,” he breathed, “Come for me again, darling. Wanna feel you.”
That did it.
You cried out his name as you came undone again, and he followed moments later, gasping against your throat, holding you like you’d vanish if he let go.
You stayed like that for a moment, tangled, sweaty, deliriously happy.
Then—
“Do you think they’ll revoke our badges if they find out we’re shagging in the prefects’ bathroom?”
Cedric snorted into your neck. “I’m Head Boy. They’d be lucky I didn’t do it sooner.”
You smacked him, giggling.
He just kissed you again, still breathless, still in love.
when i was a kid i decided that killing people was bad therefore war was bad therefore the military was evil. and adults would tell me it's more nuanced than that and i would understand when i grew up. well i'm a grown up now and idk i still think that killing people is bad and war is bad and the military is evil
amandla
turnnoffyourmind
kianamaiart
