@wildestmothers @victorialuder
Extremely valid points all around here! I’ll address everything at the same time, cause they kind of all tie-in together. First,this is how I view the age gaps if TUA were born at different times:
I will admit I went back and forth with the order of Ben and Vanya a couple of times, but what sealed the deal for me was the dynamics between Five and Vanya, and Diego and Ben. I’m glad we all agree that there is no love stronger between ANY of the siblings than the love Five has for Vanya. To me, it’s that kind of doting older brother bond (like between Luther and Allison), but with the added intensity of Love Forged in the Fires of Middle Child Hell. Vanya is ignored, but not in that “you’re too young, so you can’t play with us” kind of way. But in that “you’re freaking weird, get lost!” kind of way. I think if she were the true baby, they would have been kinder to her just out of an instinctive need to protect the youngest. She’s definitely one of the younger ones (everyone is constantly in her business, and feels the need to look out for her), but you never really get that baby vibe from Vanya- not in the same way you get it from Ben and Diego or even Klaus. Luther in particular treats Vanya like a younger sister, but not the way an oldest boy would treat his baby sister. The only time we see anyone having that sort of “uwu” attitude towards Vanya is with Five.
This is because Five would have always had that older energy. He could never be the true “baby” because Klaus was sucking up all that energy already. But he also couldn’t be The Oldest cause Allison and Luther would just be like, “Sure. Sure. Respect your authority. LOL He’s so cute.” But then Vanya comes along, and he can finally release that “I’m the Daddy!” energy on a receptive target. And she would have ate it up too, because she would be feeling the void from her parents who are too preoccupied with her oldest siblings, and from her oldest siblings who are too preoccupied with themselves and each other. I imagine Five and Vanya to be the most ostracized members of the family- Vanya because she’s different, Five because he’s insufferable- so they would have clung to each other harder because of it. Five’s next closest relationship? The only other person who would have been kind of receptive to that energy- his younger brother Ben. But everybody likes Ben, so he wouldn’t “belong” to Five in the same way Vanya would. He tried that shit with youngest brother Diego, but baby boy bucks against ALL authority so that was a no go. In the end, it’s just Vanya and Five against the world. Until Five is gone, and then it’s just Vanya, left all alone to build up years of the kind of bitterness and resentment that comes with being a Middle Child still yearning to belong. Her being 5’3” and a girl in a family of mostly boys? That’s what gets you explosions that blow up federal buildings. Add Unresolved Middle Child Feels to that combo? That’s where you get the kind of rage that takes out the f*cking moon and brings about the Apocalypse.
(She's also WLW, and plays the violin. You show me an orchestra that isn't at least 50% Middle Kids, and I'll show you a lie, and we'll both be pointing at the same thing.)
Ben is WAY too chill to be the youngest in a family like the Hargreeves. Another family? Maybe. But not this lovable dumpster fire. The only way he’d come out that pure would be if he was the parentally-ignored, quiet, second-youngest sibling. That means he comes after Golden First Borns Luther and Allison (less pressure to be The Best, they've got that covered), after Absolute Disaster Klaus (no need to rebel, you can't beat that hot mess), and after Emotional Powder Keg Middle Kids Five and Vanya (no need to feel like an overlooked outsider.) But he'd have to come BEFORE Tiny Rage Machine Baby Brother Diego (no need to constantly prove you can keep up). His parents’ attention wouldn’t be on him which, with a father like Reggie, would be the best thing for him. He could slip by mostly unnoticed, read his books, play peace keeper and just be Ben. However unlike Social Outcast Middle Child Vanya (who would have been similarly ignored) he was generally well liked by his siblings so he didn’t feel the same void she did, which is why he isn't nearly as angry. He and Diego seem to like each other most which would make sense with the birth order. Diego is closest to Ben because he was still there after the oldest 3 were gone. BUT he likes Ben best because Ben never really tried to act older than him. Unlike Five (naturally) and Vanya, who would have to once she became the designated babysitter by virtue of being the only other girl, and the oldest of the youngest. The first thing Diego asks Ben to prove himself? “Hey remember that time we teamed up, and pwned the older sibs? That was awesome right?! Hug me brother!” And the fact that it was Ben’s idea is the kind of ingenuity you only get from the second-youngest. Plus, look at their faces here. This isn’t just “I missed you”. This is “I missed you most.”
Compare this with the other significant interactions we see with Ben- Vanya and Klaus. Ben and Vanya clearly have a bond closer than she has with anyone other than Five. I interpreted their scene as "younger bro is scared, but still wants to be there and strong for slightly older sister". But it could also be "slightly older brother wants to be there for baby sister, but still needs a hug, because he's not THAT big and he's scared too."
They really could go either way. I just think Vanya and Five are too close for Ben to be between them, and the rest of the family don't coddle Vanya enough for her to be any younger than third. The closeness Ben shares with Diego, Vanya and Five comes across even clearer when you think about his relationship with Klaus. Ben and Klaus spend the most time together, but they still don't seem close. Not the way Ben is with the other three, and not the way Klaus is with Allison. Even when Klause finds out Ben is gone for good, he doesn't break down the way someone would with their closest brother. Ben's last message to Klaus isn't one of comforting love like with Vanya, it's simply "don't feel bad about that dick thing you thought you did to me. I was just scared, so I hung around for a while. Peace." And Klaus' response is LITERALLY just, "huh. That little shit".
Ben's a bit of a know-it-all (also second-youngest things), and he’s kind of shy. Comes from years of not really being heard in the first place, and being ok with that because you want no parts of the chaos anyway. If he were the true youngest, he’d feel the constant need to make himself heard like Diego. Any older, and he would have Middle Child Moodiness like Five and Vanya. (You see how easy it was for him to become an emo asshole in the Sparrow AU 👀). Nope, sweet, sweet Ben is in that sweet, sweet 6th spot.
Which would leave Diego as the youngest. I see Diego’s “WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?” vibe as more of a “Shut up, 'MOM'! Get out of my room! You don’t even go here anymore!!!” Because he has that energy with Allison too.
But with Allison it’s more of that “Poke the Bear” antagonistic little shit energy common of Youngest Brother / Oldest Sister relationships. With Vanya it’s more of the “I’m mad at you, so I’m not speaking to you and you can’t touch any of my things!” Until of course, Vanya’s all “Awww…. Diego, baby. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. Come here. I love you.” Then it’s INSTANT “Hmph….. I love you too. Hold me.” Baby brother all day.
Also, for all the crap he gives her, Diego clearly prefers Vanya to Allison, and I see that as being because she was who he spent the most time with so he’d be closer to her. I see his protective energy as less older sibling, “These are my babies, so I have a duty to protect and shield them from harm;” and more of a younger sibling “NO! You can’t hurt them! They’re MINE!!!” Baby brothers are always with the shits. They don’t care who, what, when, where or why. Somebody’s hurting you? They will run head first into a fight with no plan, half-cocked, and fiesty AF. Diego, Diego, Diego. Also, when the subject of shutting down Grace came up, Ben insinuated that he would agree with Luther and Allison. No youngest son would ever even THINK about doing something that meant not having their mommy. And true to form, baby Diego shut that shit right down.
I could go on, but this is already long enough. Thanks for your thoughts!
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