Fuc

only barbarians and Macedonians drink wine neat

[freesnooki-deactivated20220131]

[punkrorschach]

[gabethaoverthinker]

[mycatisnamedfrank]

Can’t believe I’ve had this piece of shit for almost half my life

[natalieironside]

Xena: Warrior Princess wouldn't make it on tv today because y'all would be all excited about the gay swordswoman show at first and then y'all would be like "But Xena killed people :( Bad representation"

[natalieironside]

There's some confusion in the notes so I want to make it abundantly clear that I love it when women are unhinged and commit atrocities

[booksandgreydays-deactivated202]

HAVE Y'ALL WATCHED THIS?

THE DUALITY. THE OUTFITS. THE AESTHETIC.

THIS👏VIDEO👏IS👏EVERYTHING👏

[ladydriver-deactivated20210704]

who is that and how do i get their gender

[xensilverquill]

Y’ALL GAZE UPON THIS ABSOLUTE HONEY OF A DIVINITY

[mycatisnamedfrank]

Y’all just discovered skinny white people

[cashtration]

The Black Garden

[thundergrace]

I love "how do you do math?" questions. Here's how my brain does it:

How about you guys?

[mycatisnamedfrank]

Y’all make it too complicated. 20+40=60. 7+8=15. 60+15=75.

[thirstagram]

[thoodleoo]

a list of very good greek mice names from the battle of the frogs and the mice

Ψιχάρπαξ- crumbsnatcher

Τρωξάρτης- breadnibbler

Πτερνοτρώκτος- hamnibbler

Λειχοπίναξ- platelicker

᾿Εμβασίχυτρος- bowl-visitor

Τυρογλύφος- cheesecarver

Τρωγλοδύτης- hider-in-the-hole

Τυροφάγος- cheese-eater

Μεριδάρπαξ- sliversnatch

[thoodleoo]

the battle of the frogs and the mice! it’s an ancient greek parody of the iliad (some ancient sources even claim that homer himself wrote it, which is impossible but also incredibly charming to imagine)

the plot is that crumbsnatcher, the prince of the mice, stops for a drink of water and meets the king of the frogs, who offers him a tour of his kingdom. but when crumbsnatcher is riding the king’s back through the pond, a snake appears! the frog king goes under the water to avoid it, drowning crumbsnatcher in the process, so the mice declare war on the frogs

it features all the things you’d expect in an epic (epic language, scenes of putting on armor, and even an aristeia for the mice), and it has the most delightful conclusion when zeus prevents the mice from killing all the frogs by throwing a thunderbolt at them and, when that doesn’t work, sending crabs to scare them

sententia antiquae has a delightful translation of it here!

[hedgehog-moss]

The French translation from 1902 (among many others) straight-up says “translated from Homer” which is so funny.

[thepoisonroom]

friendship is when you hear the stupidest most annoying thing you've experienced in your life then immediately share it with everyone like

[largishcat]

i was trying to think of a well known franchise villain to humorously tag this as but i came up with too many

[stimmingkiddo]

i….. what

[i-was-today-years-old-when]

i learned that African elephants often bury dead or sleeping humans or aid them when they are hurt. One woman fell asleep under a tree and woke to find an elephant standing over her gently touching her. As other elephants arrived they buried her under branches. She was found the next morning unharmed. (x)

[whitepeopletwitter]

[thepinkseat-askthemoonbunny]

Feanor was hot, rich, good at everything, liked Nerdanel for her personality and they had SEVEN KIDS which is like a billion in elf standards (especially since the act of having kids is seen as draining on the spirit) so dude must’ve been a beast in the sack. Nerdanel, I ain’t even mad at ya, sis.

[stguinefort-moved]

DICK SLUTSKY?

[supermassivebutthole-deactivate]

Via GoodPoliticGuy on twitter

[chotomy]

the cool thing about the iliad is that almost everyone in it is a horrible person and/or literal war criminal, so you get to judge characters EXCLUSIVELY by vibes. anyway i don’t blame paris for the trojan war but he IS a little shitheel and i want him out of my city

[chotomy]

my favorite thing that hektor repeatedly tells paris is “thank god you’re pretty”