i lost you to the summerwind

a collection of thoughts & inspiration. a place for self-reflection. i'm a 24 year old recent college graduate, living in the Pacific Northwest.

[ithelpstodream]

[yennyfromthebl0ck]

[arhtsy]

A wrong turn lead me to a field of flowers and suddenly I’m second guessing every wrong turn in my life.

Every wrong turn has lead me to where I am currently, and I am happy as hell, so were they really wrong turns?

[leidgott]

[emogender-deactivated20191222]

mankind? No. man mean

[thelovejournals]

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say My tooth is aching than to say My heart is broken.

C. S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain (via thelovejournals)

[blua]

[4a0000-deactivated20170115]

one great thing about me is you never have to worry about me not caring because I will always care you don’t even have to wonder if I’ve stopped caring cause there’s an 100% chance I haven’t and I won’t ever stop I will always always care

[bigsquid]

[black-culture]

Thunderstorms and chill

[myficklefriend]

It’s all too familiar...

It's been quite some time since I have felt the weight of my depression and anxiety this heavily. Long gone are the periods of my life when day after day, I would muster just enough energy to cross the threshold of my dorm room, before collapsing into a puddle of wild, unyielding sobs on the floor. The moments when I felt everything and nothing all at the same time, often for months on end. Damaging relationships with great regret because I didn't know how to cope. I still don't know how I made it out of college on time. High-functioning depressive I suppose. And while I know many tools to not only manage my depression, but to bloom with it, despite it, sometimes it's not enough. At times these monsters, my monsters, seep back into my life. Typically it's situational and short-lived — but when it's not I grow fearful. What if I'm above to experience a big wave of depression that permeates throughout my whole life? I'm already starting to feel that magnetic force, pulling me to bed for days on end. The daily internal battle to convince myself to go to work. To take care of the dogs, to take care of myself, to simply be present. The weight of strained friendships, of work uneasiness, the Stanford rape trail which hits all too close to home, on top of an already weakened foundation thanks to depression and anxiety is a little too much to bear. Remember. You have support. You have the tools. Reach out. This too shall pass, I hope.

[spacexy-deactivated20190831]

[popokko-deactivated20210315]

[mitten]

[miss-accacia27]

[stuck-inasmalltown]

i don’t mean to be political, but what if everyone had basic human rights

[myficklefriend]

interviewer: would you say you are motivated to succeed

me: no

me: but i AM terrified of failure

[thnkfilm]