OKAY SO
i was doing my semi-regular re-read of "Husband (Imaginary)" (incredible fucking fic, go treat yourself and read it and have a good time. and if you've read it before, go read it again and leave the author a new comment talking abt your love for it)
the brain worms started squirming in my head and i was like
okay but what if a fic where shang qinghua WAS totally lying about being married. like what about a fic where shang qinghua DID just google "hot guy" and pick some random dudes photo and put it on his desk and even committed to really well done photoshopping that makes it look like they got married
and he's getting away with it too. because honestly none of his coworkers have enough of an interest in him to give a fuck about whether he's dating or married or whatever and sure, he has an impossibly hot husband, who cares.
the thing is, what shang qinghua doesnt know because he didn't care about this random man outside of "hot eye candy who honestly might even be ai generated cuz srsly, no one looks THAT hot", is that the hot eye candy is the COO of a really large company. and because most people dont know what the ceo's or coo's of random companies look like, no one really clocks this.
except, now shang qinghua's company got hostile takeover devoured by mobei jun's company (luo binghe's revenge trip lololol mobei just follows his crazy bosses orders)
and now everyone is looking at shang qinghua like "wait you're married to that guy. wait what"
and shang qinghua gets called to mobei jun's office to "explain himself"
and what's a wormy lil scumbag supposed to do except cling to those golden thighs and beg for mercy? except shang qinghua is a bit incoherent about what exactly he's begging for and causes the biggest misunderstanding ever
and before he knows it, mobei jun, the hottest man he's ever met and the new coo of the company he works for, has agreed to be fake-married to him
and why did mobei jun send moving trucks
wait why is he being forced to sign actual paperwork legalizing their marriage
mobei jun is clearly a bit TOO committed to the bit and shang qinghua has no ufcking idea how to cope with the fact that he is now very legally fake-married to his new boss who he barely even KNOWS and wtf is even HAPPENING right now???
now this can go a few directions from here. i feel that the most obvious direction for us, the moshang army, is for mobei jun to have some version of love at first sight or they were childhood friends but shang qinghua forgot
BUT I PROPOSE AN ALTERNATIVE
mobei jun is down bad for his boss. like desperately and hopelessly in love with luo binghe. sadly, binghe has never given him the time of day and doesnt even seem to be gay (the trail of women he enters into shallow relationships with doesnt really scream gay or even bi). so when this little worm man starts begging for mercy at mobei jun's feet, he has two thoughts:
lowkey, reminds him of how pathetic luo binghe can be and thats hot to him
when luo binghe questioned him about being 'married' (how the entire issue came to his attention), binghe was acting a bit off about it and some part of mobei jun's hindbrain is desperately hoping that he made luo binghe jealous and now he's thinking "what if i make it real, what if i make binghe actually jealous, what if binghe sweeps me off my feet and forces me to divorce this worm man"
(tragically for mobei, binghe was about 80% just upset because someone he considered a close friend never invited him to his wedding LOL 10% was jealous because cmon, binghe isn't BLIND, he just doesnt realize that he thinks men are hot and thinks mobei is hot, and 10% in shock that mobei has any interest in anyone at all. if he had to pick a person in the room that he would bet actual money was aroace, it woulda been mobei)
so now mobei is of the opinion that they're in a mutually agreed upon arrangement. shang qinghua gets to continue to pretend he has a hot husband and mobei jun can now parade shang qinghua around like a trophy in an effort to make luo binghe jealous. he thinks that this has been communicated perfectly and the pair of them are partners in crime.
this has not been communicated perfectly, and mobei's insistence on bringing qinghua to public functions where he acts super affectionate (for mobei LOL) and treats him like a precious and beloved husband is confusing the fuck out of shang qinghua. especially because mobei jun is his usual indifferent self at home. it's only when they're out and about that suddenly mobei is all pda and shit
like it would make some sense to him if he was drop-dead gorgeous, but shang qinghua isn't THAT good looking. he's not unfortunate looking, but he's not the sort of supermodel type you'd wave around like a trophy. he definitely doesnt have a lot else going for him (dead end job, flip-flopping writing career, shitty family), so like, what the hell does mobei jun gain from parading him around like this?
and meanwhile in their home life, they are starting to bond and enter the early stages of mutual pining. like they are genuinely attracted to one another and now that they're sharing a space, they have to spend a lot of time with each other. and it starts with small shit, like mobei realizing like he likes hearing qinghua's opinions on things and feels safe in his company. or qinghua having his normal horny "ohno am i an m, because him looking at me like im a mosquito is srsly doing it for me" or like, noticing how silly and bratty mobei jun is. he seems so outwardly perfect, but inwardly he's kinda immature and ridiculous and pouty and that's kinda cute dammit. and evolves into them spending time together by choice and doing little nice things for each other for now particular reason and man, they dont realize it, but the feelings are actually starting to build up
meanwhile luo binghe IS actually still 10% jealous. which isn't enough for him to break up a marriage that seems fairly happy, but it is enough for him to drink vinegar, hate shang qinghua, and realize "ohshit i like men too". so mobei's plan was unexpectedly working in ways he couldn't have imagined
anyway, after a lot of buildup and moshang have officially entered the mutual pining stage, mobei jun is left feeling like "what the fuck do i do, we're literally married, i dont know how to tell him that i want to be for real married to him now" and he's starting to spiral in frustration
so luo binghe notices that there seems to be trouble in paradise and he takes mobei out drinking and drunk mobei confesses that the marriage isn't actually real (sort of). tho he doesnt confess the REASON for the fake marriage, he's not THAT drunk. and luo binghe, ever the opportunist, is like "ohshit wait so you guys arent happily married? you arent even a couple? mobei is free real-estate?" so luo binghe makes his move and tries to seduce mobei. and like, for a moment, mobei jun is tempted. this is the guy he's been uselessly pining over for YEARS and now he's actually looking at him and wants him and wow his crazy plan actually WORKED??
but then he thinks about qinghua and what he actually wants now and like, binghe was always this unachievable dream. and besides that, binghe is the biggest manslut he knows. mobei jun wants commitment, he wants love, he wants to be someones one and only, he's largely a monogamous guy. no judgement to binghe's poly lifestyle (during the times when binghe's actually being poly and not a huge cheater LOL), but thats not what mobei actually wants in a partner. ((obvs we know that binghe is perfectly capable of being that man, but mobei does not know this given every relationship he's ever seen binghe in))
so he goes home with the realization that he's just chosen a loveless marriage with qinghua over the whirlwind romance with the guy he's been in love with for ages and wow, he's actually in love with qinghua isnt he? and fuck, how does he unfuck this situation?
because during the mutual pining arc, shang qinghua started to realize mobei's feelings for luo binghe. it wasn't THAT hard to figure out. when he really asked himself for what audience mobei was putting on the show, it became painfully obvious. and working for them both means he's seen plenty of times that mobei is mooning for binghe and trailing after him pathetically and yep, fuck, shang qinghua just has to figure out that he's in love with his husband at the same time that he figures out that his husband is just using him to make someone jealous (it also became rllyyyy obvious bc of that 10% jealousy LOL lbr, when luo binghe is drinking vinegar, he has a way of making it everyone elses problem).
so now shang qinghua is lowkey bitter because every time that mobei jun tries to close the gap between them, he thinks that it's all an extension of trying to make luo binghe jealous. and mobei jun is lowkey bitter because the more he tries to invest in his relationship with shang qinghua, the more qinghua pulls away from him
luo binghe eventually gets sick of this bullshit, mostly cuz he's still upset over getting rejected and this will-they-wont-they is highkey insult to injury. so he does something to slam the pair of them together and leaves to go pout (maybe he locks them in a closet together, maybe he fires them both, maybe he just snaps at qinghua to actually appreciate mobei properly dammit, maybe a lot of things lol)
anyway a dramatic confession later and now the pair of them are fr married lmfao
or i guess in the spirit of the usual moshang pattern, instead of binghe losing his temper, shang qinghua decides he wants a divorce and tries to run away and mobei jun hunts him down and one dramatic confession later, they're happily married
LOOK THE POINT IS I THINK THIS IS A FUN IDEA TO PLAY WITH
also i do want throughout just the reactions of qinghua's coworkers being like "wtf is actually happening with that guy frfr"