Captain, My Captain!

| 27 | BU18 | ISSUES Enthusiast | | Movie Buff | Geology | | Ezekiel 23:20 | Married to a fucking nerd |

[demon-at-peace-deactivated20250]

DC/DP fics

i love these okay, I would sell my soul for these, all amazing, and yeah the descriptions are by me because I was too lazy for copy and past none of these have smut! and most are dead on main

Assembly required by PaperPuffin

Tim gets lost in IKEA and Danny helps Jason find him. Dead on Main. Complete.

Wait, I'm a what? by Atiya_Blackcharm

Danny kinda adopts a neighborhood and becomes a crime lord, not a ton of interaction with the bats but it's ongoing. No ship

Smash or Pass? by nddshkwch

Danny is asked his opinion of Red Hood and says smash, then he goes viral and a very cute Dead on Main fic ensues. Complete.

I Just Wanted a Grilled Cheese, Man by ReaderRevolution

personally it's my favorite Danny kills the Joker fic, and I love those, anyhow thought i'd add my fav of this troupe. Dead on Main. Finished.

Ghostly Delivery by WeirdNCrazy

Danny takes a vacation and works in a pizza shop, shenanigans ensue when heroes start ordering pizza. This fic is to die for, it's a decent length for crack, hilarious, and the Danny is so sarcastic. I would marry the author, no hesitation. And it has no ship. I forget if it's finished or not.

A Little Overshadowing Never Hurt Anyone by Playedcrowd5610

so Danny gets kidnapped for info by the bats, overshadows Tim in an attempt to get out, yeah funny cute and a bit of angst. No ship. Kinda incomplete but it ends on a good note, also abandoned.

Cold Brew by Sendryl

it's very short, but fun and giggly, the whole series is amazing and I highly recommend reading all of them, I'm pretty sure there's fanart somewhere in there too so that's a bonus. Is Dead Tired/Brain dead

Bus to Nowhere by foldingfacets

most people have read this one but I had to add it. it features a homeless Danny in Gotham, it's funny has trauma, PTSD the works, and Danny doesn't end up adopted, and from what I remember it's incomplete and I'm not sure if it's abandoned or the author just irregularly updates. No ship.

If You Give a Bat a Burger by Cielle_Noire

Another fic that most people have read, it has a Danny in the occult scene kinda, actually it's been forever since I read it and I'm crap at descriptions. just it's good. No ship. Ongoing, really long.

Bleeding Out, Bleeding In by PaperPuffin

highly recommend, and the whole series is lovely, a crazy inventor Danny who works for Jason after saving him. Very cute, trauma angst the works. This was hard to find so if you like it put it on a list or book mark it, because I spent like 30 minutes trying to find it and I remembered direct quotes from it. Pretty sure it's complete.

To Whom It May Concern by Sagoberattare

Jazz and Danny find out they are clones, they write letters to their gene donors and trauma dump. Funny and I liked it, it's ongoing I believe.

I honestly just wanted a place to put down all my fics, originally I was gonna keep this in drafts, and then I remembered others might want recs. I may not have your taste, and you might dislike these, I personally enjoyed them though.

let me know if the links don't work, thanks :)

[glitter-stained]

Random goon: Hey boss, were you the one to pick that name as an alias? And why this one?

Red Hood : I used to have another name, before... A long time ago. But that person is dead now. I get to choose for myself now, they can't take that from me. I won't let them.

Goon: Huh.

***

Random Goon: Say boss, why do you never take off your shirt in front of us?

Red Hood: Well uh, I actually have that really fucked scar on my chest and I'm not comfortable with...

Random Goon: Don't worry boss, we get it, you don't have to explain yourself to us.

***

Red Hood, high on some toxin: God, I wish my family...

Random Goon (on boss-sitting duty): why not try reaching out to them?

Red Hood: They would never accept me as I am now... They wouldn't agree with my so-called "life choices". Besides, they don't miss me, they miss the person they think I used to be... I wasn't even a man when I last saw them.

Random Goon: Damn boss, that sucks.

***

And then the goons throw the Red Hood a party on trans visibility day and Jason is so confused he straight up cries.

[glow-worms-are-believers]

Dp x dc idea: Haunted House

Danny goes into a haunted rollercoaster ride and unknowingly sits next to Tim Drake. They take off and Danny gets so scared at some point that he phases right out of his seat. It’s sorta ok since they’re in the dark and stuff so nobody sees him, but the ride is over before Danny can get back on and he just goes like "welp fuck this, imma dip and hope for the best". Tim finishes the ride and realizes the guy that was beside him is gone. Like the restraint and belt is still there but there’s no more guy. And Tim is like "am I going crazy right now??" And the workers don’t remember Danny coz they do this ride like 100 times a day. Maybe later on, as Tim is walking around the amusement park in a daze, he sees Danny walking around like normal but there’s so many people he loses sight of him in the crowd, and once again nobody can corroborate they even saw Danny coz y’know it’s a crowd. 

So now Tim’s convinced there’s a ghost haunting the amusement park and he’s determined to solve the murder(?) that may or may not have happened here and give the ghost some peace.

[redsray]

i love the (slightly cracky) premise that the newer batkids like duke who weren't around during jason's genuine "i hate the batfam" era would sometimes forget that it even happened so there'd be times where it would go:

Tim: where are you going

Jason: got a call from a friend in the alley, some fuckers need bullets in their knees. tell B and i'll kill you

Tim: no you won't

Jason: i dunno, i almost did it twice, third time's the charm

Tim: boooo you'll have to try harder

Jason, flipping him off as he leaves: watch your back, timmers!

Duke, who was sitting next to Tim the whole time: ??? he almost did it twice???? i thought he's joking when he says that????

Tim: oh, he is joking whenever he says that now. try a few years ago and it wouldn't have been as much of a joke

Duke: ???????????

Tim, snorting: i'd like to see him try again, anyway. once you realise that spends 80% of his free time in the local library he becomes no better than a nerdy loser who happens to be a bit dangerous

Duke: DUDE

Tim: what? do you find jason scary?

Duke: not usually but DUDE?!?!?

[birf]

extremely hot of him your honor

[bats-and-birds-24]

I am convinced the reason powerful, intelligent women like Talia and Selina are attracted to him is because he possesses no rizz. Absolutely none.

Like when they first meet Bruce out of the suit, they're expecting to be charmed with his charisma, but since he's comfortable with both of them, he goes on a two hour long conspiracy rant on how the Pentagon is being controlled by an ancient Babylonian blood cult.

[thebestbatdad]

Fic where Bruce and Jason are separately thrown 10 years into the past and wake up in their younger bodies.

9 year old Jason is perfectly fine living on the streets, thank you very much. And is trying very hard to avoid Bruce like the plague so he doesn’t end up as another “good soldier” in this life. Not like Bruce even knows he exists, so it should be easy.

30 year old Bruce, on the other hand, is hunting Jason through Gotham. Because his baby could be SICK or INJURED or COLD and he’ll be damned if Jason doesn’t have everything he could possibly need in this life. It’s a fresh slate and he’s going to do it right this time.

Unfortunately, it ends like this

[diane-nguyen-watches-cartoons-d]

[traveling-madness]

based firemen

[the-real-seebs]

you sign up for the job because you want to save lives, and sometimes you get a chance to just be really, really, clear about "yes it is my job to save lives, there is an obstacle, and i am paid to use an axe to solve this problem"

[atopfourthwall]

[everwistfully]

Red Hood’s all about keeping his secret identity from almost everyone, right?

He’s going to all his meetings with the hood on and never lets any of his ‘business partners’ or goons or allies unrelated to the bats see his face, right???

He either gains enough trust or completely forgets to put it on as he walks in on his goons, his gang, if you will.

They all just kinda side eye this kid who just walked in and started ordering around until one of them finally speak up questioning this kids existence and whatnot. Hood whips around to yell at them for their insubordination but goes to run his hands through his hair or something and is genuinely surprised when his fingers DO go through his hair. So he just walks out of the room in a huff until he walks back in and says the exact thing. All the goons immediately burst into action and don’t question the kid who walked in and said the exact same thing moments ago…

In another instance he forgets his hood under his arm and starts addressing everyone but this time they react a bit more aggressively. This time he just sighs and puts the hood on his head. It’s an instant reaction but Doofenshmertz style, “a kid with a hood giving us orders?” To, “Red Hood giving us orders!”

Tim sees it this time and never lets him live it down, periodically calling him Perry the Platypus.

[juliartworkk]

Sooooo hello everyone I'm Juli and I don’t know how tumblr works (because I found the internet in 2016)

I needed a place to dump my DP art, sketches, doodles, warmups (you get it) without having it all between my business stuff on my insta and figured here would be the perfect spot. let’s see if that was a good idea

[fanaticalthings]

While I do find it funny that henchmen in Gotham probably warn each other about the Red Hood because he's a bat who will actually kill you. I think it would be better if Jason was actually seen as some sort of savior or idol to like 90% of the goons scattered around Gotham. Doesn't matter who they work for, they all know Jason, former crime-lord that took over majority of Gotham's underground in one night.

Jason, years after the events of UTRH, now fighting crime alongside the batfam, except every goon he runs into immediately recognizes him, stops fighting, and starts begging.

the first time it happens, Jason assumes they're begging for their lives only to hear them begging for him to return to the crime lord business so they can work for him and not Gotham's current money-stingy, abusive rogues (Black Mask lol)

---

Jason showing up to patrol as backup for Dick in an overrun warehouse full of Two-Face's henchmen and as Jason's about to interfere, one of the men stops dead in their tracks and stares really hard at Jason until:

Goon: Oh my God, boss, is that you?

Jason, pulling out his guns, about to shoot:

Goon: Mr. Hood, sir???

Jason, halfway about to pull the trigger: Wait a min–Jeremy? Oh wow, it's been ages! How's the wife?

Goon (Jeremy): Oh my God it IS you, holy shit where have you BEEN? Me and the guys miss you, man!

Dick, with a knife at his throat: What is happening right now

Jason: Ahh, well, crime-lording just wasn't fitting in on the daily schedule. Tryna turn over a new leaf and all that

Goon (Jeremy): Aw, that's disappointing. We really liked working for you, right guys?

[Chorus of enthusiastic "YEAHS" from the rest of the henchmen (even the one holding Dick at knifepoint)]

Goon (Jeremy): Well, anyways, I can't beat you up knowing you're my old boss! You gave us the best health benefits! We'll just let you take the evidence and leave.

Jason: Aw, thanks guys :)

And that's why 95% percent of Jason's missions in Gotham end in success. Not because he's willing to kill people or because rogues are terrified of him, but because 90% of the rogues' henchmen once worked for Jason and fuckin love him lol.

[thrashcannot]

[geritsel]

Hiroshi Yoshida - Color woodblock prints from the series United States of America.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Danny: Hello, I'm here for my job interview-

Alfred: You're hired.

Danny: But I didn't even say what position I was-

Alfred: You are Danny Fenton, nineteen years old, blood type AB, Libra. You are here to apply for the personal assistant position under Timothy Drake. You have five years of experience as a receptionist and a personal planner and have been unofficially bookkeeper for your parent's company since you were twelve. You dabble in fanfiction, go clubbing at Vortex- the gay club downtown, and have been one of the few people who yelled at people online for "Countdown to Legal Age" of both Master Dick and Master Tim.

Danny: .....I'm a little scared right now.

Alfred: That's to be expected. You will fit right in. Master Tim enjoys the smell of fear on his employees.

Danny: You were in the army, weren't you?

Alfred grinning: I read that your mother's family are also veterans. Your mother grew up in bases; did she not?

Danny nods: Yes, they are. This is like visiting family.

Alfred: With the proper attitude, you may become family in due time!

Danny mentally: Is he....trying to get me to marry Mr. Drake???

[awakeningthevioletswithin]

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Believe the Lilac, Dreams In the Mist

[gothamundernightlight]

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Tim: *develops a plan

Steph: Not gonna lie, that sounds like a war crime.

Tim: It’s never a war crime the first time. Now whether it gets designated a war crime after…

Tim: That’s not my problem.

[musashigouda-deactivated2019032]

hey ao3 can you like give the extra $38k you made from this month’s funds drive to charity

[blooming-wilting]

You know it legally is a charity, right?

If x charity aims for £10, but gets £15, would you expect then to give back the extra five or give it then to another charity? No. Any extra costs go into the “rainy day” fund; sometimes servers crash or break, sometimes false reports are made that require the legal team, sometimes you need to hire coders or what not to implement new features or fix bugs or deal with broken code … 

The money they aimed for is the bare minimum, which goes towards things like basic server costs and domain names and legal advice and so forth, but they don’t just “pocket” the rest (as people claim). It’s not a business. It has no advertisements. It needs some “rainy day” cash to function. 

You can’t ask a charity to give money to another charity. 

It needs what it gets to function and improve. 

[fangasmagorical]

kiena-tesedale replied to this post

They don’t “pocket” excess money. They have a publicly accessible budget - waaaay more info than most charities, in fact. In it, you can clearly see where each dollar goes. (Also, you are vastly underestimating either how much traffic AO3 gets or how much servers/hosting costs.)                    

In my experience, people who don’t work in web design and hosting just have no concept of how heavy a load something like AO3 would have. Not only is the traffic absolutely buck wild, but the quantity of data that archive needs to store is fuckoff crazy. I’m talking “more than the library of congress” crazy. The only reason it doesn’t require Netflix levels of data serving is that it’s text based rather than video.

AO3 is in the top 300 websites in the world, and the top 100 in the US. It is the number 2 literature website.

Number 2 in the entire world. JSTOR is 20.

It sees about 6 million people a day. About 250k an hour. Each of those people is loading multiple pages, many are running searches that execute on literally hundreds of potential variables per search. The demands involved are astronomical.

JSTOR, btw, makes 85 million dollars a year.

It’s 18 ranks below AO3′s traffic, and takes in 650 times the amount of money.

But let’s say you think that’s an unfair comparison. Would you say that the Project Gutenberg Literature Archival Group- another text based archive that handles literature operating outside traditional copyright requirements- is more similar?

Because it sees all of 4% of the traffic that AO3 handles.

Care to guess its budget?

Double that of AO3.

AO3 is doing shit on the kind of shoestring budget that I fully, 100% cannot comprehend. And that’s just the archival service.

The 130k also pays for the OTW’s legal team, which they use to defend the right of fandom to fucking exist.

It’s absolutely batshit fucked up that people are fighting to have the OTW defunded and AO3 shut down. They are the only organized group that actually stands directly between fandom- all the art and the fics and the vids and the music and the chats and the memes and everything we love about interactive, transformative work- and an incalculable amount of lawsuits.

[lakemojave]

If you are currently sitting or laying down this moment ask yourself if you are resting or rotting. Change your behavior accordingly

[lakemojave]

There is no romance in decay when the decaying is easy

[lakemojave]

You are naught but pawns in my game