You ARE who God says you are

Thoughts, prayers, and revelations. Documenting my journey with my Lord and Savior Jesus, whispers of the Holy Spirit and intimacy with my Heavenly Father.

[myrelationshipwithhim]

“Why” Father’s Day?

I can’t even remember the last time I posted on here and that is totally my bad. God has given me plenty of things to post about, but I was slackin’ and didn’t follow through with posting. This one has been on my heart for the past 3 days and I need to get it out.

For those that do not know, I am now working for my home church that I absolutely love!! God has opened this amazing door so I can be here serving and working to build the kingdom every single day. It is just another step to what God has called me to do. Due to the fact that i am on staff, I am expected to be at events that are held at the church. Well, this past weekend was one such event.

It was a funeral for a man that had been going to our church for a long time. He moved away to start pastoring a church and the Lord had called him home. At first, I didn’t really think much of it because I didn’t know the person at all. I remember maybe seeing him at church, but I never knew him or his family. I was there to serve and to support the family in the time of celebrating his life. When I arrived at church and read the flier that was printed explaining his life, that is when it hit me hard. I now found myself crying at a funeral of a person I didn’t even know, but he was my brother in Christ nonetheless. I had initially thought that this man was older than me, but come to find out, he and I were born in the same year.

I broke and had my first “why” moment with God. Not “why” in a way that would challenge God, but out of inquiry and loss. This man was serving the Lord, had started pastoring a church along with his wife, has 2 young children, and had a life that burned for God. So I asked God why He took him home when he had all that going for him and then I looked at my life and I wasn’t doing that nor do I have my own family to care for.

To clarify: I’m not comparing our lives because every person’s life is different and the worth of our lives are all the same to God. I’m merely looking at it from a practical standpoint.

It would make more sense for someone like me to be taken home instead of someone with so much here for them.  After all, we are the same age! I never challenged God in His decision. I sought to understand my Father through all of this. Especially it also being Father’s Day weekend.

Just like the perfect and loving Father that He is, He explained to me why I was still here. He reminded me of so many things that He had spoken to me about before. He never told me why he took the brother home at such a young age, but He didn’t have to anymore. Again, my “why” was never to challenge Him. It was inquiry and seeking.

Being at the funeral of a brother who was the same age as me really convicted me about how much grace is truly upon my life. Upon everyone’s life. I was able to wake up another day to serve in the house, to work for my Father, to drive vision, to challenge the church, to get to know Him even deeper. That is grace. I have been saved from death a few times and I look back each time and there is no logical explanation of why I survived. I am truly thankful for the grace that is upon my life and my prayer is that we all come to understand the grace of God even more deeply every single day.

John 1:16 “For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace” (NASB)

[myrelationshipwithhim]

Becoming sin

Since the end of last year, the Lord continues to lead me through the narrow gate.

Matthew 7:13-14 “13 Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” (NIV)

I know that most people teach this verse to mean heaven and hell. Although I believe that is a part of it, I believe there is more to these verses than just eternity. If you look at the surrounding scriptures, Jesus is speaking about our lives in the here and now. It does seem a little off that He would revert from “ask, seek, knock” and jump to eternity. Again, I do believe the verse does includes eternity, but as the Holy Spirit continues to lead and guide, walking through the narrow gate refers to my life now all the way through eternity. I don’t post this as if we must follow a bunch of rules, or guidelines or become religious in our ways, but we must understand that the more revelation we have about God’s grace and walk in it, the more we are going to follow the law as well as His commandments. (yes, they are different at times but never contradicting)

Through His grace, He recently revealed something amazing to me. As most of my friends know, I do struggle with gout. If you don’t know what that is, just google it and you will find more than you ever care to know about it. Since I do have that sickness plaguing my life, I continue to speak life and healing into my body. I continue to pray for divine health. I have so many brothers and sisters praying for me and I am excited to say that it is helping so much! As I continue to learn about my body, I have come to find out that gout is only one of a few things that have come against me.

I have come to realize that all the family illnesses have flowed down to me. As far as I know, both of my brothers do not suffer from any of the family illnesses which I am so thankful to God for because it sucks! So what is it that I have to battle against?

Gout - from my dad’s side

High Blood Pressure - from my mom’s side

Heart condition - from my mom’s side

Diabetes - from my dad’s side

I believe God healed me of whatever heart condition my grandma had which took her life. That is a whole other amazing story. The Diabetes, luckily isn’t full blown, but I have experienced a lot of symptoms that a diabetic would normally go through. So Gout and High Blood Pressure are the 2 biggest mountains that I face. In any case, this isn’t a post about my health issues.

The amazing revelation that God gave me was how this is similar to Jesus taking upon Himself, the sin of the world which includes mine. Everything from both sides of the family has fallen on me and when my healing manifests itself, the generational curse will be broken FOREVER! My kids, grandkids, and so forth will never have to fight this. Likewise, since my brothers are fine, my nieces/nephews and their children will never have to go through it. These things were, in a sense, placed upon me to be dealt with once and for all. Because I have to go through it, no one else behind me generationally will have to go through it. Sound familiar?

Jesus, who knew no sin, became sin so that you and I can live a free life! We don’t have to sin anymore. We don’t have to suffer with sin any longer. We don’t have to even worry about it anymore. That doesn’t mean we are never going to make a mistake, but it’s been dealt with at the cross. His grace is sufficient!

II Corinthians 5:21 “He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” (NASB)

I have been given deeper revelation of this scripture because of the sickness that I have had to suffer through. Jesus became sin so I can become righteous. Likewise, I have become sickness so my future generations can become healthy. The best thing is that Jesus took 40 stripes that paid for my healing! So He not only took my sins, but He took my sickness too!

By no means am I saying it’s the same or even close to being on the same level. I’m not God, I’m not Jesus and I would never claim this to be exactly the same. But the similarities have given me such a revelation of His grace that happened on the cross for ME! I hope that this gives people a greater understanding of the cross. May this simple illustration bring people deep spiritual revelation. All I can say now is just wait until my healing manifests. When it does, I will be doing a lot of things that I haven’t been able to do for the longest time! Just wait and see!

[myrelationshipwithhim]

Preparing for Marriage

No, I haven't proposed yet. I'm not even dating her right now. In fact, I still don't know who she is. God is still telling me to patient although He has changed His answer when I have asked about her. Makes me really excited to hear His new answer. Whether you think there is "the one" or you think that there is "the best one", being led by God in this area is still one of the areas that requires the most faith for me.

As much as I love the intimacy with God, I still very strongly desire to have a family of my own. To share all the days of my life here on earth with that perfect person God has picked for me. One of my biggest prayers is that I will be the man that God has created me to be. To be the man that He sees when He looks at me. To be who He says I am. For I know that being a boyfriend, fiancee, husband, mate, and father someday is included in that.

Since that is still such a strong desire for me, I am doing all that I can right to invest in my marriage. As I continue to invest, God has revealed so many things to me. I have found that the way He loves and leads me, can be translated towards my marriage. Between reading books by amazing marriage counselors and listening to stories from mature Christian couples that cherish their marriages, God just blows my mind. The very things I'm reading and hearing are exactly what He has been teaching me. Not only through prayer time, but through His Word as well. As I continue to keep my eyes fixed on Him and allowing Him to lead me, I can translate those same principles to my marriage.

Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her" (HCSB)

God desires that all marriages be modeled this way. Everyone understands, whether they believe it or not, that laying down your life for your mate is the example that we ought to live by. But how does that look in the day to day? If God wants us to love our wives as Christ loved the church, then we must understand how He loves us, His church.

As I continue to be loved by Him which manifests as allowing Him to lead me, the more equipped I am to love other people. The more that I adapt and learn to love other people, the easier it will be to love her when God decides to bring us together. In this way, I will be able to love her JUST as Christ loved the church. I will be able to give myself for her.

[myrelationshipwithhim]

Happy Birthday

No, it's not my birthday. I was planning on posting another wonderful story, but that will have to wait for another day. The reason is because 1 year ago, I started this site. My goal was to post encouraging stories and amazing things that God has done in my life. The purpose was to bless and encourage everyone who reads it. For anyone that may be going through something to see hope. For someone who has had similar experiences to praise God. For someone who hasn't experienced God that way, to hunger and thirst for their own encounters with Him. For someone who doesn't know God to see that He is real and longs to have a personal relationship with them.

I haven't been as faithful as I intended when I first started this. However, this next year, I plan to post more on this site. My minimum goal is to have at least 52 posts this year. One post a week. With all the terrible things in the world, people long to read and hear stories of hope and encouragement. I believe that as a Christian and someone who claims to walk with God, the creator of the universe, that 52 stories in one year ought to be a given. I really hope I can dig in and meet that goal. Keep me accountable!

Birthdays are really amazing days. Many people don't really care about their birthdays because they just see it as just another day. It just "happens" to be the day they were born. I used to be just like that. I saw it as just another day. I stopped celebrating it and always managed to be doing something else. After I came to know Jesus, He was the one that showed me how special that day truly is. I am a person that believes in the Bible and everything that it says. It says that before He formed me in my mother's womb, He already knew me. (Jeremiah 1:5) The psalmist says that God knit me together in. (Psalm 139:13) Finally, every day of my life was written before even one day passed. (Psalm 139:16)

Birthdays are a wonderful time to celebrate life! Not just the fact that we made it another year, but that it was at this appointed time that I was to be born. Not just this time, but to this appointed family. God's goodness isn't withheld just because someone doesn't believe in Him. He blessed my family with me and He blessed me with my family. Regardless of how they may be, they are still my family.

A birthday is a time to be thankful for another year that has passed. A time to look back to see what you have done. A time to look forward to all the plans for the next wonderful year. It's like our own personal New Years! The will of God for our lives is that every year is better than the last. How do I know? Because He never regresses. He loves us so much that His desire is to make us better and better all the time! This is because the better we become, the higher quality of life we can have! What's even better is that He desires to make our character perfect like His!

II Corinthians 3:18 "But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord." (NKJV)

I hope this next year of this Tumblr page becomes even more encouraging as I know that God is already doing some amazing things in my life. Preparing me for the great work that He has planned for me. Teaching me more about His Word. Leading me to do things that I normally wouldn't be doing. (this fulfills part of a prophecy from four years ago) Guiding me by His Holy Spirit. Learning to hear His voice even more clearly. Having such an intimacy with Him that not spending my days with Him is a scary thought.

I am going to open this up too. If there is something you'd like me to post about, just ask me! I'm happy to post.

[myrelationshipwithhim]

His Manifested Presence

I am so ready to go to bed, but the Lord continues to impress it upon me to write this blog entry tonight. He keeps saying that someone who needs to will read this so my prayer is that this reaches who God has in mind. Thank you Jesus for that.

I have been a Christian for almost 14 years. Coming up on 14 in about 1.5 months. During that time, I have seen many great miracles. I have heard amazing testimonies. I have witnessed God's power knock people off their feet. I have seen God's hand grab a hold of people's hearts. I have seen some awesome things. Not only that, I have also experienced many of those same things. I have an amazing testimony. I have been totally knocked off my feet and unable to stand back up or walk. God captures my heart every day and if He decides to hold back on one day, He more than makes up for it the next. He has healed my body multiple times. Given me strength when my body was pushed to the brink of exhaustion. My walk has been anything but dull.

On the flip side, I have seen a lot of heartache and a lot of sorrow. I have experienced a lot of that myself too. The reason I don't talk much about the sad stuff is because that doesn't glorify Him. He wasn't the author of my sadness. He didn't make me sick to teach me a lesson. He didn't take anything away from me to make me sad. But if He has healed the brokenhearted. If He has turned my mourning into joy. If He has given me hope when everything around me was despair. I will gladly talk about the sad stuff because His power, love and grace are that much stronger. But I digress.

The point of this post is to talk about His manifested presence. That's right, we have the ability to physically feel His presence upon us or in the room. It's a sensitivity that is cultivated the more you spend time in His presence. I have felt this in the past like during the times I wasn't able to get up or walk because His presence was just so heavy upon me. The more time I spend with Him now, the easier it is to feel His presence and the sensitivity to His Spirit continues to grow. In the past, He has revealed a lot to me about His presence and He blesses me all the time with His presence as I focus on Him or speak His message. These last couple of years I have felt that I have been distant from His presence or that it was harder to enter into His presence. Recently like I said before, it's getting easier. Some instances it may be heavier than others, but overall, it's easy to feel His presence once again.

Today at church, Pastor Bagwell preached an amazing message. As usual, another amazing thing is God was talking to me during the worship segment about the very same thing Pastor preached about. The presence of the Lord was so incredibly thick today. Like nothing I have ever experienced before. I didn't fall over or anything, but the presence was incredible. Every time we tried to close service, the Holy Spirit would come down and hit us again. His presence was so thick in the service today that I was in tears and crying through at least half of the sermon. And it wasn't like Pastor was preaching anything sad or telling us sad stories. I just couldn't stop crying because of His presence upon me. There were certain times during the sermon that Pastor would hit a particular point and I could just feel the heart of God get wrenched because those were His Words. The concerns that Pastor spoke about were the same as God almighty Himself! This of course caused me to cry more. The morning service would have been let out early, but we just went for another 1.5 hours just worshiping God and allowing the Holy Spirit to do whatever He wanted with His children. I thank God for a church that gives freedom to the Holy Spirit to do whatever He wants. Today, God wanted us to stay longer and just bask in His presence. It was so glorious. 

I didn't think it could have gotten any better. Then tonight when I went back and served with the youth group, God's presence came in so heavily again during that time of praise and worship. This is only youth 7-12th and this is youth led. His presence was so heavy in the youth service that I started crying again tonight. Just tears as I would lift my hands in worship to Him. It's hard trying to keep an eye on the doors and seeing who is going in and out while worshiping and crying because of His presence. We ended up combining with the main service with the adults to finish out the night which only added to God's glory. It was so amazing.

His presence is so real people. He wants all of His children to be able to experience it. We are so out of tune with the Spirit and we are so afraid of being wrong that we never try to take it by faith. Just one minute in His beautiful presence is better than years of therapy or counseling or medication. He can do everything greater, faster, better and no side effects if people would learn to get into His presence and learn what it feels like.

Father I ask that everyone who reads this post, that Your presence would begin to fill their room. Doesn't matter if they are in public or in the privacy of their own room. Make your presence known to them. Let them feel what it's like to be in Your glorious presence. I pray this in Jesus' mighty and powerful name. Amen!

[myrelationshipwithhim]

Divine Healing

It has been such a long time since I have posted anything on this site. I'm excited for the new year and excited for all the new adventures that I'm going to have with God. He has wasted no time in leading me to  new things already this year.

This story has been on my heart for a while and the Lord continues to impress it upon me to post this story for I believe anyone who reads this can be healed of whatever they are suffering with. I hope that people grab a hold of this in their spirits and put their faith to work so they can be healed. God is the same yesterday, today and forever. So if He healed people back in the day, He still does it today and it's always so amazing when He does.

As many people know, I went out to Sweden last summer to serve at a youth camp out there. It was an amazing experience and a wonderful blessing to be able to pour into other brothers and sisters from around the world. When I was about to leave Sweden, I got sick on the last day. As a result, I developed a cough.

At first, this cough wasn't too bad, just like anyone else would have during a common cold. However, even after my body felt completely fine, the cough continued to linger on. For a while, it was a painful cough, but no matter what I tried, nothing would make it go away. Tried cough drops, more rest, cold medicine, day quill + nyquil and nothing worked. Some days were better than others as far as how much I would be coughing, but overall it just kept coming back.

I was now coughing for about 3.5 weeks now. Because I tried different things, I held off going to doctor. During this time, I also had a gout attack. I finally decided to go to the doctor and get both things checked out. Honestly though, I was just going to the doctor to have him write me a prescription for more indomethacin because that's all they ever do. "You have gout?" Take this.

When I got to the doctor's office, I was still coughing in the waiting room. Even when they were doing the normal routine of checking blood pressure, etc, I was still coughing. When the doctor came in, he asked what my complaints were and I told him about the lingering cough that won't go away and that my wrist was in pain.

Here's the amazing thing. I was still coughing even when he was examining me. He checked my lungs and his exact words were "your lungs are clear". Immediately, God healed me. I stopped coughing and I haven't had a single cough since that day I went to see the doctor. He prescribed an extra strength cough medicine, which I picked up because I didn't know I was healed yet. That same bottle of cough medicine still sits in my cabinet and is still unopened.

God had instantly healed me of my cough. I didn't realize it at the time, but it was only after seeking Him did I understand that it was His healing power. He proceeded to show me why I was healed. Not why as far as what I had to do to earn my healing, but rather how to pray to fight against disease.

When a person in authority speaks God's truth into a situation, anything under that authority must come into alignment with that truth. In this case, the person in authority was the doctor. When he said that my lungs were clear, everything associated with the lungs not being clear must come into alignment with that truth. Therefore, my cough was healed. God's truth is that Jesus paid for our healing. (Isaiah 53:5) The cough is a sickness and for it to fall in line with Word, it needed to leave.

The more I seek Him and understand Him, the more excited I get for the future. Unfortunately, I still suffer from a few different diseases. Every disease that is in my family's history, I carry around. The things that my grandparents suffered with on both sides, I got. The things that my parents suffer from, I also have. As far as I know, both of my brothers are totally fine, which I am so thankful for. I will gladly be the curse breaker even though it means my health must suffer in the process.

I will be completely healed soon. Every time I pray for healing, I feel strengthened. Every day I am seeing in the spirit that God is winning and my disease is losing. My reality may not show it, I might still be limping around, but I thank God that His truth remains true regardless of what I am experiencing. I am understanding more and more why sometimes healing may take longer, but the Word of God cannot return void so I just need to continue speaking His Word over my situations.

He is still the God of miracles.  He is still the God of healing. It is His desire for you to be healed. Jesus paid the price for it already!

III John 1:2 "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth."

Believe God when He says:

Ephesians 3:20 "Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us"

For He wants to and He will!

God Bless everyone!

[myrelationshipwithhim]

Tag Team

It has been such a long time since I last posted. My last post was before I left for Sweden and I haven't had a chance since then to really sit down and write something. Right after I got back from Sweden, I had to get back into the swing of things and prepare for Camp Crossroads (CXR). The youth camp that we run every year for the Chinese churches. This year as usual was no small feat. Once again, it was another wonderful and awesome year. Things don't always come together, but it's great to know that we serve a God that although He loves order, He just needs us to be willing to listen, obey and follow His lead.

Every year at CXR, the Lord has really challenged me to step out in faith. He continues to develop the prophetic gifting inside of me and every year, the prophecies over people's lives have become increasingly more specific and have been much deeper than in years past. The Lord doesn't give me the entire message up front, but rather, He gives me a starting point or a person to pray over and the words just flow. When I first started out, He would give me more of a message to speak over someone because He was building my faith and giving me a reason to overcome the fear of speaking over someone's life. I don't take my giftings from the Lord lightly and I don't believe any believer should, but that's a whole other post.

This year was extra special. As I was preparing for the service that prayer and the prophetic is allowed to be exercised more freely, I was asking the Lord what I should do. This last year, I have been discipling a couple of people. One of my disciples was at camp and this is his last year as a camper because he has graduated and is going to college next year. The Lord told me to call him up and that together we would be praying for people this year. The Lord told me that we would be praying for both young men and women, but that I wouldn't be the one to initiate, but rather to ask him who we are going to pray for.

So that's what I did. I called up my disciple, on the side, not in front of the whole camp and told him what we were going to be doing tonight. I prayed over him and myself that God would give us the people to pray for and that the Lord would speak through us and give us the words to say. After that, I asked him who we were going to pray for.

One by one he would say a person. At first, I would be the one to pull them aside as an example of the proper way to do things because people will not always understand what you are doing. We don't make a show about this, but that we need to speak over these people on the side. I would pull the camper to the side of the chapel so we weren't in front of everyone. Later on, I just allowed him to pull the people aside and I would follow.

Each person we prayed for, the Lord always wanted him to start. As he was praying, prophesying, and laying hands on people, the Lord would then speak to me about what to say to the person. After he finished, I would start right up and add to what he was already saying. It was truly amazing to hear what God had to say through both of us. It was such an awesome tag team. There were some people that he called out that I would never have thought to pray for, but that's why it was God's leading. Each time, after he would pray,  I would also have a word for the person even though I didn't know we were going to pray for that person. It was truly amazing seeing first hand God working through us.

One of the coolest ones was when we prayed for our speaker. The things I spoke over him, he confirmed that everything was so spot on. I was so blessed to hear that because some of the statements that were not only specific, but also really bold. A lot of people that we talked to later thanked us for the words because the words were either spot on or exactly what they needed to hear. Sometimes we didn't even know why we said some things, but we later find out through that person sharing why we said what we did. For me, it brought a huge confidence boost, but also a huge rise in faith. To really experience the Lord speaking through me. 

This was the first time I have ever "tag teamed" prayer/prophesying over people. I have seen it done before, but it was a real blessing being able to do it myself. I know that this is only the beginning. Through this year at camp, I have definitely seen the development of this gifting from years past. It was so much more intense and so much more specific than before. I thank God that He continues to develop, expand and increase this gifting inside me. Totally looking forward to continue to use this gift in the way God has intended.

I am looking forward to using this even more in the future and to see lives touched and changed for God's glory. The Lord continues to teach and grow me every single day. It's a journey and a great one.

[myrelationshipwithhim]

Working towards God's glory

I haven't blogged in quite a while. I really felt like I hit a new plateau in my walk with the Lord. I couldn't really figure out why I wasn't getting the breakthroughs I was believing for. But with a perfect Word from my Pastor and time with the Lord. I have found what the next step is to achieving what the Lord has called me to.

First off, I have been serving in so many other capacities. With other churches, pursuing what God has called me to do, volunteering, and being faithful to the different things in my life. I was neglecting my own house. I wasn't serving and taking care of Word of Life. I claim to love my church and love my pastor, but I was not serving in the capacity that I could be there. The Lord showed me that was where I need to put my focus. I always tell people that if you sow into someone else's dream, it opens up the doors for God to bring your dreams to reality. It's all about sowing seed into them and reaping the harvest in your own life. Well, I need to not only sow into those closest to me, but I need to sow into the vision of the leadership and God has GIFTED me with.

Ephesians 4:11-12 "And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:" (KJV)

Which leads me to my main point. I have been believing God to heal my body of a few things that continue to come up. Gout and high blood pressure being the top 2. These illnesses have been a thorn in my side for the past 12 years or so. They will creep up and hit me usually when life is going well or when things are starting to swing upward. Which usually will drive me back down again. What sickness doesn't?

I know God's will is to heal me. That's never been the issue. He has promised it in His Word and I have never known God to not heal someone. Whether we receive His healing and grace is the other half of the equation. If you think you have no power, then you are mistaken. He has placed before us life and death, therefore choose life. (Deut. 30:19)

My biggest question was why haven't I received my healing yet? During my time of prayer today, the Lord showed me something amazing. The things that He has called me to do are beyond what I could ever image or dream, which is pretty huge because I can image and dream a lot. I will not be able to do those things if I am sick and hurting. However, those things He has called me to do require faith to be activated and require faith to be completed.

He is using my sickness to teach me how to exercise my faith. How to speak the Word over my circumstances. How to speak to the mountain as Jesus commanded. How to do the works that He did and greater works than these. Now, God did NOT give me the sickness to teach me these things. Nor did He "allow" this sickness to come upon me to humble me or teach me a lesson. The sickness came upon me because of my poor diet and lack of exercise. On top of it being hereditary. Because of my bad decisions and my lack of humility and not trusting in the Lord for my health, the enemy was given access to attack my body with sickness and that's what he did.

The glorious thing is that through this, God has taught me so much about Him, about His Word, about His ways and so many other things that have radically changed my mind. Which proves Romans 8:28 that all things work together for good to them that love God and are called according to His purpose. Although He didn't give this sickness to me, He can use what the enemy meant for evil and turn it for good. Just wait, there is going to be a day very soon that these afflictions and trials are going to turn into glorious testimonies for the world to see and hear.

I will be able to do things that I haven't been able to do for over 10 years because my body couldn't handle it. Watch out Satan....I'm coming for your kingdom. He MUST repay 7 times what he has stolen from me and just in time alone, he owes me 70 years.

GLORY TO GOD!!!

[myrelationshipwithhim]

Serving the House

I haven't posted anything in about month. It's just been an incredibly busy month, but that really is no excuse. God has been teaching me so much lately about so many things. It's different than before because I feel something burning so deeply in my spirit that something big is going to happen soon. Something bigger than all that I'm already involved in.

With everything the Lord has been teaching me, I definitely felt there was a missing component. This past Sunday, my pastor preached a message about serving in the house and that's when it hit me. That's one of the last if not the last part to what God has been teaching me.

There are a lot of things that I'm believing God for. With that, God has really been teaching me how to continually stand upon His Word despite circumstance or reality. His truth will always be truth even if what is currently manifested in my life is contrary to that.

Isaiah 55:11 "So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it."

So when God says in 3 John 2 that He wants me to prosper and be in health, no matter how sick my body is or how much it may hurt, His truth is contrary to which means I need to align my thinking, my believing, and my proclaiming to His Word.

What does this have to do with serving in the house? Everything! Jesus Himself came not to be served, but to serve those that He loves.

Matthew 20:28 "Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many."

There are some very startling facts about the church of America and really quite sad. Some people are very familiar with like 20% of the people carry the entire load of the house. Whether it in giving or service, only 20% of people are actually faithful in doing so. In any church in America, only 17% of the members are actually serving consistently every week. A study was done about Christians that who say they are faithful to their church. On average, the "faithful" Christian attends once a month.

Another study was done about tithing and giving. The study shows that if every member of a church, actual member, not someone just searching for a church, would tithe according to Biblical principles, the church would triple their income without having to add a single family to their membership. This allows them to do more with their vision and give more.

Although I have heard a lot of these statistics before, it really re-affirmed what the Lord has been teaching me these past few months.

Get back in the house. Stay in the house and get planted so you can grow under the man of God I have placed you under. Truly being faithful to where God has called me to go.

Pay tithe, sow first fruits, give alms and sow seed. Making sure I'm faithful in all my types of giving. With each of the types of giving, it opens my life to allow God to take me further.

Serving and loving others. I have been serving so much elsewhere that I have neglected my own house. This is where God needs me to be.

It's crucial that I serve in the house that God has called me to. There is nothing wrong with serving in other areas, but God's house should always come first. If you can volunteer with an organization, then why can't you serve the house?

That is the missing component to my life right now. Serving the house that God has planted me in. I know that as I do, the things I'm believing for will come to pass because Im'm seeking first the kingdom. (Matthew 6:33) I know this sounds like doing things to get, but it's not. It's God leading me into the life that He wants me to be living. Leading me into the calling that's upon my life.

God's kingdom is all about sowing and reaping. What you sow is what you are going to reap. We see this throughout the entire Bible. I never forget my Lord and Savior. The work of Jesus is what it's all about and that's what I will always preach, but if that's all I preached, then there is no growth in people.

I'm so excited to be growing and maturing in God. Just looking forward to truly living every day in plenty and being able to enjoy those days. The connecting piece is getting plugged in to my house of God so I can prosper and live in health.

[myrelationshipwithhim]

God is the same yesterday, today and forever

This past weekend was incredible! So much service and love going around, I was extremely blessed. Some of the highlights are that multiple people received healing from the Lord. They were all non-believers too!

One guy was a self proclaiming witch. He said that he has placed curses on people and seen death and other things as a result of his curses. My friend asked him if he wanted to see something that would make witchcraft seem like child's play. He said sure. The Lord gave him an image of the guy's leg so he asked what was wrong with his leg. The witch freaked out and was like "now you have my attention". His knee had been bothering him and there was pain in his knee. So my friend prayed for his knee and God healed him. No pain anymore whatsoever. The guy got really surprised and ended up walking away after my friend preached the gospel to him and offered him a chance to accept Jesus.

The story doesn't stop there. They ended up finding him again later that evening. The Lord gave my friend another image of the guy's abdomen. My friend asked him what was wrong and pointed to the area. The guy was like no way. Revealed that he has been having liver pain, but didn't want us to pray for him. How crazy is that? This non-believer has more faith than a lot of Christians do. He knew that if my friend prayed for him that God would heal him. Most Christians don't even believe God heals anymore. So he refused prayer and walked away.

The story keeps going. They ended up finding him a third time! My friend prayed for his liver and sure enough, God healed his liver of whatever it was that was bothering him. The guy still didn't come to Jesus after all of that which is sad, but he has irrefutable evidence that God is real. I hope that he does come to know Jesus as his Lord and Savior soon.

That very same evening, God gave a vision of more knee pain to another friend of mine. This time, it was within a group of people just hanging out. He boldly walked up to them and said that God had shown him someone had knee pain. One guy raised his hand and said, yeah that's me. This guy is a scientologist. He said that his knee had been bothering him for many years and he has tried everything. Doctors, medications, etc and nothing has worked for him. My friend prayed for him and immediately God healed the man. He started freaking out and was like, "if this healing is real and if my knee is still fine after a week, I will reconsider a lot of things in my life". We then preached the gospel to him and invited him to church if he stays true to his word.

Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever" (NLT)

God is still in the business of healing. Thank God for doctors, but they are extremely limited in what they can do. God is the only one that can make all things new. (II Corinthians 5:17) We see God healing people in the Old Testament, then again when Jesus on the earth, which continued with the believers in Acts. Why are we not seeing more healing, miracles, signs and wonders now? If God is the same, then that means we are the ones that have changed too much.

III John 2 "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth" (KJV)

God wants us to be in health and He wants to bring healing to your life today! Whether it's physical, emotional, spiritual, relational, etc God can and WILL do it for you! For no other reason except that He loves you! So accept His healing touch for your life today and be in health!

[myrelationshipwithhim]

Houseless, not Homeless

My first day in Bellingham was simply amazing! It started with catching up with a wonderful friend of mine, Jon. Everything he is doing out here in Bellingham is incredibly humbling to me. Over a decade ago, the Lord used me to speak a Word into Jon's life about what He has called Jon to do. This brother has taken that Word and all the other things other people have spoken over him and ran with it. Now he has started multiple ministries and now he is ministering to the homeless in the streets on Friday nights, but I get ahead of myself.

After grabbing lunch and catching up with him, we just continued to talk and see different places like Christ the King church where he interns at and serves out of. Just talking more about life and sharing our stories with one another about how God brought us to where we are today. Then we both went and did something very holy and religious. We went and saw The Amazing Spider Man 2. =)

After the movie, it was time to get down to business and prepare for the evening. We went back to the church to get loaded up and ready to serve people. I met another wonderful family, Jason, his son Cody, and his brother Cal. The heart for the hurting and homeless in these people is truly humbling and inspiring, but that's a story for another time. Before we would go and pour ourselves out, we went and worshipped the Lord and filled ourselves so we have a lot to pour out.

We went to a group called Ekklesia. Tonight was a special worship event where all we did was sing praises and worship the Lord our God. I hadn't worshipped like that in such a long time. Totally abandoned with nothing on the mind and no end in sight. Just song after song of praises and glorification of our King Jesus. I love the worship at church every Sunday, don't get me wrong, but even then you just know that the sermon is coming up afterwards. But tonight, it was complete and total worship for 2 hours or so. Being in a room full of brothers and sisters who love the Lord and have come together in one accord to lift the name of Jesus is something you don't forget about. Those moments are the ones you cherish. I didn't know 99% of the people in the room, but yet we can still worship as one body, as one family, in one accord. There were people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, but for those couple of hours, there was only our identities in Christ and nothing else mattered. What an amazing turnout of people. Standing room only in this pretty large hall.

It was now time to hit the streets. Before we left, we just prayed and asked for God's blessings so we could be the hands and feet of Jesus tonight. What a wonderful time in prayer. Being in a prayer circle and standing in the gap and coming together in agreement for God to do amazing things, is something that I haven't done in a long time. Such a fun and wonderful experience again. The place where we were ministering wasn't far from Ekklesia meeting place so we walked there. We wasted no time, we broke off into teams and hit the streets. We walked around the block and anyone that we saw who looked like they could use clothes, blankets, food, etc we just told them where our bus was set up and where we would serve them. Immediately we found small pockets of people to serve. We directed them towards the bus and they all went. We kept walking and sending people to the bus to get some new things. One thing you have to understand is that this bus was pretty big and it was completely full of things to just give away. The donations from people were overflowing and abundant. We could just give and give and give and not run out.

As we continued to send people to the bus, I came across one particular man. At first, I sent him to the bus to get anything he might have needed. Talked to him for a few minutes and went on my way. I ended up breaking off from the group and just walked around the blocks on my own and just talking with the Lord. He directed my steps. Told me where to turn and what street to walk down. Eventually the Lord led me back to that man. He hadn't moved from when I first talked to him. The Lord spoke up and I heard it so clear in my spirit. "Go sit down and talk to him". So I did what any sane person would do. I walked away. Just kidding! I went and asked him if I could sit with him. He was kind enough to let me sit next to him and we just talked for about 25-30 minutes.

This man is amazing. His name is Randall and he served with the US military. He didn't say what war he was a part of, but based on his age and appearance, WWII would be my best guess. I just asked him if I could help him carry the stuff he had to the bus so we could serve him. He refused. He said:

I have already ate and I have a change of clothes in my backpack. I don't want to take something I don't need. I want others that don't have anything to get those things. My philosophy is to kill others with kindness.

So I just listened to him talk for a while. He told me of his beliefs and about how Yahweh supplies all of his needs for him. This guy is living on the streets yet he has more faith than a lot of Christians. He continued to talk to me about the Bible and what it says about certain issues and such. He believes in Jesus, but He doesn't believe that Jesus is also God. This guy living on the streets is preaching me a sermon. His faith in God the Father supplying all his needs and being his banner of victory and all this stuff was amazing. He blessed my life so much with his stories and his knowledge of the Word. There were things he knew and believed that most Christians don't even belief. Things that are 100% biblical. Granted there were also some things that he believed which are inaccurate, but that's ok. God is going to keep working in his life.

I was the one that went out to bless others and in turn, I was tremendously blessed to hear Randall's stories and what he believes about the Word of God. Simply, truly amazing. Before I walked away, Randall said

I am not Homeless, but just houseless. I don't have a physical house, but the entire earth is my home. I live off the land and all it has to offer.

Not homeless, but houseless. That was such a blessing to hear. Thank you Jesus for this awesome experience. Afterwards, I went back to the bus to regroup with the others and ministry was still going on. Washing people's feet, feeding people with cup noodles, giving people new clothes, shoes, blankets, etc. What a blessing it was to see and to be a part of. There were other people walking by and curious as to what we were doing. When we told them, they were shocked. It was such a blessed evening.

But wait, it doesn't stop there! Afterwards a few of us went out to eat dinner. We were now very hungry. Before we hit the restaurant, I was talking with a couple of the other servants that went out with us. Some of them had been doing this for nearly a year and others were newbie like I was. But now, it was a time to talk Jesus. It was time to talk Word with other believers. One wonderful young lady was actively seeking about God and the rest of the evening was dedicated to ministering to her. The stories that came forth from other believers and the questions she had were so great. Now I am in my element and now I'm preaching up a storm and answering her questions about the Bible and God and church views.

I was pretty tired after the entire day of events, but now, speaking life and Jesus, I was ready to go all night. My strength was literally being renewed as Jesus was being lifted up and glorification of His works. She asked some tough questions that are "controversial". Like about homosexuality and abortion. I told her God's views and what He has to say about those things in His Word. She understood everything I was saying and instead of being resistant, it all made sense to her and others around the table. Praise the Lord!

Even though I was the one doing a lot of the speaking, answering questions, talking Jesus, truth and life, I was just as blessed seeing and knowing that everyone else was eating it up and being receptive. Seeing spiritual hunger in these young men and women about the deeper things of God was such a blessing to me. This means just as much to me as it did to them.

Ended the night just talking to Jon again about random things. Just winding down and having a good time with my brother in the Lord. Slept for about 6 hours and now we are up and getting ready to get back at it, serving others and blessing people around us. More to come!! =)

[myrelationshipwithhim]

Standing upon God's Word

Matthew 24:35 "Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away"

Lately God has really been challenging me and teaching me to stand upon His Word. There have been so many opportunities lately to just stop trusting in His Word and in His truth.

I have always believed in healing especially because God has healed my body many times. On top of that, He has used me to heal other people that have been sick. When did I stop believing that I can't be healed instantly when I've seen it so many times in my life already?

I had let unbelief creep in and I had let a sinful mindset creep in. Believing that God doesn't always heal when the Bible clearly states that Jesus healed EVERYONE that came to Him. We never read about an account where Jesus didn't heal a person. Whenever someone asked Jesus if it was His will, He said it is His will. Finally, that's something He paid for when He laid His life down.

Isaiah 53:5 "But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed"

The sinful mindset that I had allowed to take over was that I couldn't be healed because of the sin that I had in my life. Because of my sin and my works, I couldn't receive God's blessing of healing. When in fact it was never about my works, but about what Jesus did for me.

John 9:2-3 "And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him."

None of us can pay for His blessings or healing. It's just like Heaven and Eternal life. We receive it by grace through faith. (Ephesians 2:8)

I say all of this because I haven't been feeling well for the past week and a half. At first it was an injury and then it developed into a sickness and it's still lingering around, but I feel good. Each time I pray for healing, I feel so much better, but then it starts to creep back little by little. Then I pray again and it goes away, but then starts to creep back little by little. it's extremely annoying.

God continues to tell me to stand upon His Word even when things don't seem to be "working". For we walk by faith and not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7) It has been an interesting couple of weeks just constantly learning and standing and commanding and speaking to the sickness. I know I will be completely better and I plan to live my life being prosperous and in good health.

3 John 2 "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth"

[myrelationshipwithhim]

Revelations in the Shower

I love taking long and hot showers. Not like scalding hot, but definitely steamy showers. It's very relaxing and soothing to just stand under the falling water. During these times, I do a lot of thinking. Not always deep thinking, but my mind is moving. I think about good things, dreams, the current day or the previous day, scriptures, etc. God loves to talk to me and show me things in His Word when I do. Why? Because I can't go anywhere! No distractions! =)

I don't even know how I got to thinking about this the other day while in the shower, but my mind went to

Ephesians 4:11 "And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers"

So I started meditating a little on this scripture and asked the Lord what He wanted to show me about this. I listen to, watch, and read the material of various men of God that preach God's Word. I have often been told by brothers and sisters that they have watched me grow into maturity not only in life, but also in God very quickly. What they have witnessed in others and in me are very different. So God started breaking this verse apart for me. He reminded me of the very next verse of why He gave us those offices of ministry.

Ephesians 4:12 "For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ"

So the Lord began to show me about the different ministries that I follow. He revealed to me that the reason I'm able to grow and gain revelation so quickly is because I'm not only relying on one office to meet that need, but I'm utilizing ALL the offices to grow. I'm being perfected through each of the 5 fold ministry. It takes 5 fingers to form a full fist and thus, it takes all 5 ministries operating in our lives for us to be perfected and edified.

My 5 Fold Ministry:

Pastor - My own pastor, Pastor Bagwell

Prophet - My own pastor, Pastor Bagwell

Evangelist - Jesse Duplantis (Jesse Duplantis Ministries)

Teacher - Rick Renner (Rick Renner Ministres)

Apostle - This is the only office I'm missing. I don't know any actual modern day Apostles. I suppose that all of those above are somewhat Apostles for they have all planted churches, but I don't know anyone that is a true Apostle nowadays with that apostolic call.

There are many more ministries that I follow that fall under the different offices, but those are just to name a few.The things that each ministry type will bring out of the Word of God is different. The unique thing and the challenging part is how do you connect them all together. One office preaches prosperity and the other office preaches about hard times. Neither are lying, but connecting the messages together into one gospel is not easy. We have the ultimate teacher inside of us, the Holy Spirit, He shows us how both truths work together and that is a glorious thing.

I believe that part of the reason I have been so blessed and successful in my Christian walk is because of this revelation. That I have 4 of the 5 ministries operating in my life. A lot of people refuse to listen to any other preacher besides their pastor. That's not wise because God gave all of those for the perfecting of the saints. Your Pastor can only cover 1/5 of the perfecting because that's only 1 office.

I'm so thankful for the truth of God's Word. Like it says in John 8:32 "you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free". I thank God that His Word is constantly making me free which causes my life to have more meaning and purpose. God's truth should be liberating your life and not condemning or limiting your life. Find out who your 5 fold ministers are and devour all the truth they feed you. It will bless your life.

[myrelationshipwithhim]

Following God's Impressions

It’s been a while since my last blog post. I have been really busy with a lot of things including added time to work out and continue to make steps to improving my health. God has been so good throughout the entire time though. He has given me new ideas to post about and life is still very much an adventure with Him.

Recently, I was talking with a dear friend of mine. I will not mention any names in order to protect this person’s dignity in time of their need and low point, but the Lord has released me to share this story.

My friend shared with me about a time I visited. Another friend of mine came with me. Our friend told both of us that they were going through a rough time. We both immediately decided to abandon our schedules for the day and drive out to spend time and hang out with our friend. When we were there, my friend seemed totally fine, but this person shared with me recently about what really was going on that day. My friend was totally out of it that day. My friend had taken a lot of pills and had we not dropped what we were doing and visited, this friend may have continued to take pills, fallen asleep and may not be with us today. I’m so thankful my friend had not continued with their plan.

This isn’t saying that we just decided to drop our schedules just because a friend was having a rough time. Not to say that isn’t enough to move us to action. We both felt like God was asking us to drive over to spend time with our friend. The connection between us had to be there and had to be done. Thank God we were obedient to the Spirit’s leading because that would have been one disobedience I could not have dealt with.

The point of the story is not to lift my friends and I up on a pedestal. It’s to encourage people to be obedient to the leading of the Spirit. You don’t know everything your friends are going through regardless of how close you may be to them. Sacrificing one afternoon or a couple of hours or just being obedient to God and doing something that may inconvenience you could literally save someone’s life.

My friend didn’t have to talk to us about what was going on in their life, but chose to do it. It was a literal cry for help even if those words weren’t used. Due to my friend telling me what was going on, the Holy Spirit was able to move upon our hearts to visit and connect. Because of our obedience, God was able to preserve a life. What a precious life it is too.

Spend time with God every day. Our times with God are times to learn and get to know Him. If we get to know Him, it won’t be hard to move when He asks us to or when He impresses things on our hearts to do. I'm so thankful we were faithful that day not only to God, but to our friend. I'm so thankful my friend shared that story with me because it blesses me beyond what others can imagine. If you have a story where your friend made a difference in your life, tell them. Let them know what they mean to you regardless of how often you may talk.

[myrelationshipwithhim]

March 20, 2001

Growing up, I never heard the words God and Jesus. I only knew tradition. I grew up in a very traditional Asian household. My parents never told me that they loved me or was proud of me. They rewarded good works, but that was about it. Definitely not enough for a child that craves affirmation and affection from his parents.

When I went off to college, I was finally able to explore this new thing called Freedom. I was not able to handle the freedom I was now given and wasted a lot of time having fun and not studying. I didn't do well in school.

During this time at school, I started hearing more and more about God. Mostly due to my best friend because we lived so close to each other and eventually roomed together during our second semester.

What drew me to believing in Jesus was not my sin! I wasn't scolded for my sins. I wasn't pressured to repent for my sins. I wasn't told that I was going to hell. What I heard was the goodness of Jesus! I was told that He has a plan for me. I was told He loved me! I was told that He died for me and my sins. I didn't fully understand everything at the time. I just loved the idea of a God who loved me and cared for me. Who had a plan for me and the idea that someone would love me enough to even die for me was simply amazing.

My best friend and I would stay up almost every night just talking and discussing things about God. I wanted to learn more and I enjoyed the times of discussion between us. The more I learned and the more we talked, the more I was intrigued about this Jesus person. Then one night, at 3 am in the morning, my best friend asked me if I wanted to give my life to Jesus. I thought about it for a minute or so and said, "yes, I think I do".

So he led me through the prayer of faith. I didn't really feel any different or feel like I was changed, but God had heard my prayer and He knew my heart. Just turned out the lights and went to sleep.

What happened afterwards was nothing short of a miracle. All of a sudden my life had meaning and purpose. The motivation to live well was there. The desire to go to church grew. The desire to tell the world what I had found suddenly burned within me. I woke up a different person than when I went to sleep.

My journey with God is so much fun and simply amazing. The truths and revelations He has shown me in the Bible are incredible. People who don't know Him won't ever get it because it's not something you can just believe without knowing Him. The miracles that I have seen Him perform in me, through me and around me are mind blowing and astounding. He has so much planned for me and He is teaching me so much right now. I love it.

I don't remember if March 20, 2001 was the exact night that i accepted Christ. I definitely know it was around that time because it was shortly after I moved in with my best friend that I dedicated my life to Jesus. This day is just the day that I have chosen to celebrate that wonderful night where I gave my life to Jesus. So every year I will do something to honor that decision and honor that time in my life.

I am always willing to give my testimony because it's a powerful one even if other people don't think it is.

[myrelationshipwithhim]

Driving with Jesus

Last week, I was driving over to a friend's house for a dinner party. Praise God for good food! YUM!

On the drive down, I was talking to my best friend on the phone just to catch up. It's been a little over a week since our last conversation. I tell you it was a blessing of the Lord to hear his voice and to catch up with him and hear about what God has been doing in his life and to tell him what God has been doing in mine. I hope everyone has friends whether near or far that you can pick up with them right where you left off last time regardless of how often you speak with them. Thank God for technology that we can do that.

After my phone conversation, I was still driving and I turned up my music a little more since I love to drive with music bumping. It was rush hour time so I wasn't in any hurry, but just cruising in my car. I always invite God to be a part of whatever it is I'm doing and He just wants my company so He will come along.

The Lord spoke up after a few minutes of driving and said

you spoke to your best friend about Me, you have talked about Me, you have praised Me, but you haven't even talked to Me on this drive

I said, "Lord, you're right, I'm so sorry"

He responded with, "no you're not"

I said, "what?" and started laughing. I know the voice of God and I know when He's being playful with me and when He is being serious. That Fellowship and Intimacy is what I love.

He said, "You love being pursued by Me"

I just smiled, nodded my head, and said, "You're right! Keep pursuing Me Jesus"

God asks us to pursue Him, but He is just as crazy about pursuing us. He has allowed me to come into His presence at any time and any moment.

James 4:8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you

I read a devotional every day or at least every couple of days just to keep filling my mind with His truth. The very next afternoon, upon picking that book up. It talks about Jesus pursuing the Samaritan woman at the well. She would never have followed Jesus on her own, she wouldn't have been able to get away. Yet Jesus pursued her and came to her. He met her where she was. He didn't just happen to come across that well. NO, He intentionally went there looking for HER!

I love my adventures with God and I am looking forward to even more fun stories and great opportunities to be Jesus to the world

[myrelationshipwithhim]

Unless Im minunderstanding, could you pls elaboraet in how being indecisive is feminine trait?

Hello:

First off, I apologize for the delayed response. It's been a very busy week for me. Thank you for asking your question and I hope my response answers it well.

Please keep in mind that I am still learning about this so don't assume that I am an expert by any means. These are just things that I have learned.

To start off, I just want to make clear that being masculine or feminine is not limited to men and women. Both genders have masculine and feminine in them. So when we talk about this, you can't associate being feminine with being a woman as this can apply to either gender.

In my story, being indecisive is not a bad thing so please don't look at it negatively. Regardless of what I chose to do, neither was a wrong decision. I decided to stay in bed and when I woke up, I felt wonderful. I was rested, ready for the rest of the day and I still accomplished a lot. If I had chosen to just get up and get stuff done, I would have been able to get more done, but may not have been as alert. So in the story, either choice was fine.

Being feminine means to be free and flowing. Whatever the feminine wants to do, he/she will just go for it. It's a very beautiful thing. So when the feminine has a choice to do multiple things, it seems like it's indecisive, but in actuality, it is just flowing with what comes. If you wanted to do option A, great. Option B, just as great. Option C, awesome go for it. Neither option is right/wrong.

I hope that answers your question. Please feel free to dig deeper.