People like to shit on James Sunderland, and for good reason, but I can't help but love the guy. He's not a good person, but when he gets a rare second chance to become a better person, he takes it.
He looks at this horrible amalgam of Things That Are Not Mary—his grief, his resentment, his pent-up sexual desire, his urge to run away and escape his pain—and says, "You're not my wife. You're not the person I loved. I owe her more than this."
He spends most of the game floating in a dissociative fog, but then he sobers up and faces the reality of everything, for Mary's sake. In doing so, he finds forgiveness. And in Laura, he finds a chance to atone.
Sure, this is only the version of James who makes it to the "Leave" ending—but that ending wouldn't be nearly as meaningful if it were the only possible outcome. By all realistic metrics, James Sunderland shouldn't get better. A real person in his mental state, with his history, would almost certainly succumb to his worst tendencies. And yet, somehow, he's not beyond all hope.
How can you not root for him? It's like rooting against Scrooge in A Christmas Carol.
Even when I feel scorn and pity for James, I never stop cheering him on. I have to believe that people can get better, and any art that genuinely, earnestly fosters that belief is a treasure.
i use tidal for music but i’ll probably make a spotify version at some point! i have one for leon as well ૮꒰⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝꒱ა
℘ ♫ ྀི Big Empty ⟢ Stone Temple Pilots
℘ ♫ ྀི Black ⟢ Pearl Jam
℘ ♫ ྀི Blue ⟢ A Perfect Circle
℘ ♫ ྀི Blurry ⟢ Puddle of Mudd
℘ ♫ ྀི Down in a Hole ⟢ Alice in Chains
℘ ♫ ྀི Drift and Die ⟢ Puddle of Mudd
℘ ♫ ྀི Fine Again ⟢ Seether
℘ ♫ ྀི Forty Six & 2 ⟢ TOOL
℘ ♫ ྀི For You ⟢ Staind
℘ ♫ ྀི Head Like a Hole ⟢ Nine Inch Nails
℘ ♫ ྀི Home ⟢ Staind
℘ ♫ ྀི Is Everything Real? ⟢ The Frozen Autumn
℘ ♫ ྀི I Stay Away ⟢ Alice in Chains
℘ ♫ ྀི It’s Been a While ⟢ Staind
℘ ♫ ྀི Judith ⟢ A Perfect Circle
℘ ♫ ྀི Kinda I Want To ⟢ Nine Inch Nails
℘ ♫ ྀི Leave Me for Dead ⟢ Rosetta Stone
℘ ♫ ྀི Mudshovel ⟢ Staind
℘ ♫ ྀི Passenger ⟢ Deftones
℘ ♫ ྀི People ⟢ Rosetta Stone
℘ ♫ ྀི Pet ⟢ A Perfect Circle
℘ ♫ ྀི Precious Lives ⟢ The Frozen Autumn
℘ ♫ ྀི Right Here ⟢ Staind
℘ ♫ ྀི Serpentskirt ⟢ Cocteau Twins
℘ ♫ ྀི Shadow ⟢ Rosetta Stone
℘ ♫ ྀི Sober ⟢ TOOL
℘ ♫ ྀི So Far Away ⟢ Staind
℘ ♫ ྀི Thinking of You ⟢ A Perfect Circle
℘ ♫ ྀི Wasteland ⟢ 10 Years
℘ ♫ ྀི Wax and Wane ⟢ Cocteau Twins
℘ ♫ ྀི Your Best Nightmare ⟢ London After Midnight
℘ ♫ ྀི Zoe Jane ⟢ Staind
🍒Warnings: manipulation, sex, unprotected sex, character x character, dubious consent, underlying tones of grief, strip club setting, au
🍒Summary: James and Maria have made it to Heaven’s Night. What happens when James gives in to temptation?
🍒Notes: I am not particularly a James x Maria shipper, but the inspiration strikes where it strikes so here we are. I was just really interested by the concept of Maria’s purpose being to distract James from Mary, and what happens if she were to succeed. Also shout out to my bestie @booji-doll for encouraging me and beta reading! Love you bestie!
Heaven’s Night was quiet. James walked past the shimmering curtains of the VIP rooms, and down the steps to walk around the stage. He could imagine this place busting with people, leering men and dancing girls. The tables were littered with half-empty glasses as if the patrons had been raptured. He’d seen these kinds of places from the outside, and often considered coming inside when his loneliness had gotten too intense to ignore. Then he would feel guilty for even considering it and go home to sink his sadness in a bottle of whiskey.
As he looks around, he realizes he would’ve hated it. Even now, the blazing neon and weaving through the tables annoyed him. The addition of people would’ve made for an overstimulating situation. Besides, Mary would’ve been disappointed if she’d found out. She would’ve felt betrayed, and she would’ve been right to. Standing in a place like this and thinking of her made a wave of discomfort come over him. It was like a fog had lifted, reminding him of his stark reality. For the first time since he met Maria his mind cleared just for a moment.
‘What the fuck am I doing here? She’s not gonna be in a place like this.’
“Maria?” he calls out, trying not to sound annoyed.
The soft thump of music is what answers him. She was up to something, he realized. She steps out from backstage, sauntering down the stage. Her eyes are on him, heavy and alluring, as she gracefully reaches for the pole.
James’ eyes widen and his fists clench. He takes a step back as if he needs to put distance between himself and the stage. The distance can’t hide the way his eyes linger on her form, on the way the neon lights embrace her.
“I’m just messing with you,” she laughs. When James doesn’t respond, she smiles. “Unless…”
She reaches for the buckle on her jacket, and begins pulling it loose. James gasps, but as she lets her jacket fall to the ground he freezes. Maria sees his Adam's apple bob as he swallows hard. His lips are parted, his eyes getting that glazed look of entrancement. She’s beautiful, curvy. The lights bouncing off her pale skin make her look like an angel.
She lowers onto all fours and crawls slowly to the edge of the stage. James feels his heart racing, his hands tingle with the desire to reach out and touch her. The fog settles over his mind again. Everything besides the sight of her crawling towards him is hazy. The monsters lurking outside, the little girl he meant to protect, Mary. It’s all just fading into the background.
“Come here, handsome,” she says softly as she reaches out to touch his chest. The same move that saw him dodging her earlier now has him leaning in. He can smell her floral perfume, feel the warmth of her skin through his shirt. “Do you want to touch me?”
“Y-yes,” he answers.
“Then, come here,” she pulls him closer by the shirt. James stumbles forward, his hand coming up to rest on her shoulder. She’s soft, smooth. Freckles pepper her shoulders, and his eyes fall on the butterfly tattoo on her chest. He leans forward, nuzzling his face against her neck.
“Oh god,” he whines. “You’re so warm. You smell…so good.”
“I’m here for you, James,” she whispers against his ear. She places a soft kiss on his temple. “Whatever you want, whatever you need. I’m yours.”
He feels pathetic when his cock throbs against the confines of his boxers. A wet, sticky stain of precum is already forming. He’s scared one touch would have him blowing his load.
“Maria, I can’t,” he swallows around the lump in his throat. His hands move down her arms, then to her waist. “I shouldn’t.”
“Just don’t think about it,” she whispers. “Think about me and all the things you could do to me.”
He was thinking about it, and had been trying not to think about it since the moment he met her.
He wraps his arms around her and pulls her against him. She giggles as she’s crushed against his chest. Her fingers twirl in his blond hair before tugging to urge him out of hiding against her neck. When he finally looks at her, she presses her lips to his. James’ knees turn to jelly, and his cock gives another insistent throb.
He returns her kiss with unbridled desperation. His fingers tighten on her waist, digging into the bunched fabric of her dress. She scoots to the very edge of the stage, pressing her hips to his.
“Fuck,” he mutters against her lips.
If there was any more hesitation inside of him, it dissolved when rocked her hips against his. The quiet suffering boiled over into frantic need. He shed his jacket and his shaking hands went to the buttons of his shirt.
As they hastily undressed, neither of them noticed the music stopped.
Crawling onto the stage above her, James had the passing realization he wasn’t in control. He didn’t care anymore. The feeling of being touched, being wanted was too intoxicating. He didn’t deserve it. Didn’t deserve to be inside of her, but as he settled balls deep in the velvet heat of her it wasn’t about deserve anymore. Mary didn't deserve to get sick. Angela hadn’t deserved an abusive childhood. Laura didn’t deserve to be an orphan. Yet life had dealt them the shitty cards anyway, so why not take something good even if he doesn’t deserve it?
“Fuck, oh fuck,” he pants as he moves within her. It’s faster than he wants it to be. He wants to take his time, to savor every moment of bliss, but his body has taken over.
“That’s it, baby,” Maria moans beneath him. Her hands soothe down his back. Her eyes flutter closed, and a soft smile tugs on her lips. She knows he won’t be able to last, and he’s much too lost in his own needs to get her off. That’s not what it’s about, though. His surrender feels sweeter than anything. Knowing she’s got him right where she wants him.
“Maria, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…I can’t…” James whines. His hips are snapping frantically, his balls slapping against her ass.
“It’s okay,” she kisses his forehead. “Cum for me, James. It’s okay.”
He gasps and cries as his cock pulses. At the very last second he pulls out, and cums on her inner thighs. She watches him stroke himself, squeezing out every drop. It strikes her as cute that he was worried about finishing inside of her.
James looks at his seed dripping down her thighs, and his cheeks flush. A feeling of shame rises up again, but not about what they’d just done. Not about getting sidetracked, but because he didn't last long enough to bring her to climax. He wasn’t a selfish lover usually, but it has been so long and he was so needy.
“I-I won’t take long to get hard again,” he says hastily. “If you want to try again.”
Maria smiles, “Maybe later. Once we find somewhere cozy to spend the night?”
James nods, “Okay…We should…Uh--”
“Get out of town?” she offers, hoping he would take the bait.
“Right,” he reaches for his clothes.
Maria smiles as she watches him all shy and shaky. A far cry from the surly man who had approached her at the park. She feels a rush of pride at having brought him to his knees and distracting him.
amandla
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titsay
pixelskylines
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dailybridgerton
