Maknae

my thoughts are boring

[mysmallthoughts]

Let's be friends,

I like a lot of things...

For example:

Dancing, singing, listening to music, psychology ( but i can't talk about this in English, just in Hungarian) writing, watch movies or series

I'm an introvert, calm, goofy, friendly, kind, helpful person they say....

I'm bisexual and i love to style stuff

I'm a kpop stan and my ub band is BTS. I became a fan in 2019 January 16. DNA was the song that introduced me in the world of kpop. I'm an ot7 stan, but my ub bias is Jungkook. I'm a soft stan but sometimes i'm a hard stan too...yeah..."sometimes". I stan a lot of bg and a few gg (for example: twice...i'm still learning the names)

On social media i'm not that active 'cause of my social anxiety. I barely post

I don't really have a favorite movie, i'm more a series type of person (i thing this is how they say it😳) I just finished a series called 'Lost in space' on Netflix

I'm a Gemini, if you're interested in astrology

I'm a girl and i'm well, 16 years old...

I thought myself how to speak English, i started when i was 9.

I'm Hungarian (It's in Europe)

I really want to learn new languages, but rn i don't really can. My goals are to know how to speak Spanish, Korean, French, Japanese. I learned German in elementary school but i can't remember a single thing about it. I'm learning English in school now and i'm trying to learn Korean at home but i do it reeeaally slow without a teacher lmao

I don't know what to say more about me sooooo if you want to be friends, you can found me on Twitter: @.cr4zymaknae or on Instagram:@. _szonjafanni_ (Without the dot)

[mysmallthoughts]

I feel terrible......still.....

[mysmallthoughts]

So...the thing is.. i cheated on my gf and now i have a bf.... i feel so fucking sick of myself and i though that i would be happy....and i was....i dunno what changed, but something really did...... i just want to have my happiness back. Thats it

[mysmallthoughts]

My life....it's just don't feel real.... i have a girlfriend because i'm bored. She doesn't even like me ig. We're like friends but we're not just feiends. She doesn't texts me until i do. Anyways, it's kinda weird

[mysmallthoughts]

I'm fucking numb.....

[mysmallthoughts]

I just want my life to look like the RUN mv....but i don't want it alone....I just need friends like tha

[mysmallthoughts]

I'm numb....again

[mysmallthoughts]

I feel like crying but my tears are just wont come out anymore. And this is the most annoying thing in the world. I hate it here

[mysmallthoughts]

So thing is....i can't understand my emotions or idk. Because i always feel like i fake what i feel.And this makes me sick. I just really need a therapist to talk to but i'm too afraid to tell my mom cause she would feel like i'm just joking. But i'm serious....and i started to freek the fuck out. It's not a joke anymore....i dont know what happened to me but i always felt like this. I just can't understand......i just can't.... I always analyze others and it just sucks. I can't make friennd, i don't really talk, i'm just listening and analyze the shit out of everything. I'm really tired of this. I can understand my feeling through music and thats it....

[mysmallthoughts]

I feel like i don't have friends...again.. They act so wierd lately.... Anyways... I thought about going to University in Korea buuut i read a lot of bad things and now i'm really disappointed..... I think it would be more fun and interesting than my current life. I don't want to go to University in my country but it seems like I don't have other choices... I really hate this country and this language. I'll think more about going to Korea. I'd really like to but.... Idk.. I'm so stressed. I dont have goals in my life lately and i was so happy, i found something i can probably do, but than i.... I dont know... I'm just sad right now. I need to find something i can do. My life is soooooo so boring now... I thought about learning Korean, how to play guitar and dancing and stuff like that but i dont have motivation and i really have to find something now. I feel like i'm going down on a mountain with something that has wheels and don't have a break.....

As i was reading this shi- again, i realized my English is sucks.... I realky need to learn it properly....BUT IN SCHOOL I DON'T LEARN SHIT....I mean...i do not learn anything new...

Anyways have a good day/ night

I love you💜

[mysmallthoughts]

I don't feel well and i told my mom about it and she thinks i'm joking cause "i don't want to go to school"...thx... I appreciate it... She knows i can't do that (staying home) cause i would fail my classes...what is she even thinking?

[mysmallthoughts]

People by Agust D

He's one of my comfort people...i love him so much and i look up to him...he's so strong

[mysmallthoughts]

I have school tomorrow but i can't sleep. I feel tired but i can't. When i feel somehow happy, someone has to ruin it....always...

What if i don't speak anymore? What would happen? Will people still hate me? I want to speak but i just can't. I'm always there for literally anybody but no one is here for me. I lwqye play the psychologist to everyone but if i try to speak about my feelings, they don't listen to me

[mysmallthoughts]

I feel so alone even tho a got "friends" i guess. I have a "loving" family they said...but then where's the love that everyone talks about?

[mysmallthoughts]

I didn't do anything wrong but a lots of people hate me... I don't understand, why?

[mysmallthoughts]

I just want to be loved... It's to much to ask or.....?

[mysmallthoughts]

At the moment, nothing feels real