Matching acc loss hell yeah new mutualship level achieved but also.ARANEA SELFSHIPPING??????? /very very pos
STAR-CROSSED MUTUALS❤️🩹❤️🩹
AND YES!!!!! hope you don't mind if I dump some stuff on us here,,,,
SO IN OG HOMESTUCK MY INSERT WAS VRISKA'S FOUND BROTHER (I was a failed olive blood who crafted weapons for FLARP instead of being a hunter or warrior LOL), BUT THEN SOME STUFF HAPPENED AND SPIDERMOM ATE ME,,,, ALMOST. When she died I was still semi-alive, so when Vriska sprited her, I was sprited with her, making SPIDERBRO-SPRITE. Except I was a pretty shitty lusus/prite, and basically enabled all of Vriska’s early acts bullshit, bc Spidermom part was ALSO in me, and wanted to act cruelly towards her, which i overcompensated by coddling and agreeing with her as much as possible (this is also a bit of an allegory for persistent thoughts, but you didn't hear that from me,,,,)
YADDA YADDA ALL THAT HAPPENED so, when we met Aranea, i was jealous as hell and kinda hated her (feelings mutual actually), but tried to convince myself that it was a blackrom crush. IT WAS NOT, WE GENUINELY DISLIKED EACH OTHER LOL. Eventually, we ended up forming some weird relationship on her ship (we both strive to be relevant, we're both teased and not listened to, YADDA YADDA), AND I END UP HELPING HER WITH THE RING causing Vriska to get disappointed in both of us :(
INSTEAD OF ARANEA EXPERIENCING JUST DEATH AND DISAPPEARING (Ik ik not realistic but let me dream,,,), WE KINDA BOTH SURVIVE, BUT ARE TOO ASHAMED TO TRY AND FIND OTHERS. Aranea doesn't want to go back to others, and admit that her plan failed, to go back to irrelevancy. And I'm too ashamed and scared of others refusing us contact, if we try.
SO, WERE BOTH STUCK TOGETHER, AND ARE KINDA DEPRESSED AS HELL. We jump through GIGANTIC mental hoops to make it out like WE were in the right, and others don't even get it. And also we try to force ourselves in a quadrant (my insert, now that he DOESN’T have anyone to project his lusus part on, tries to cling to his troll part, and conservatism of it), WHICH DOESNT WORK. BECAUSE WERE OUTSIDE OF THEM. So these idiots jump between pale, flush, and black, and just make themselves more miserable (especially because we're both resentful and petty, and without auspistice, blackrom part gets tricky😭😭 plus, flushed quadrant is kind of bad when both members actively force themselves to be into it LOL).
I GUESS MAIN THEME IN OUR RELATIONSHIP ARE UNNECESSARY ACTIONS AND FORCE OF ROLES. Aranea tries to manipulate me into helping her with Ring, making our dynamic more unhealthy, despite me being ready to do it myself (and the scene of me giving her the ring, is very similar to a heteronormative proposal, but you didn't heard that from me,,,). We desperately try to force each other in a quadrant, instead of just loving each other. We're actively FORCING this role of "no one else understands us" and do mental gymnastics, instead of contacting someone else. I forced myself in role of Guardian, as a teen, and she forced herself in form of Mindfang when she's very much NOT her😭😭
THERES ALSO MY LITTLE HUMANSTUCK AU BIT: Aranea and I were miserable comphet couple in middle school (shes transfem in this one, so it was pre our transitions LOL), which ruined our friendship and made us not contact each other throughout whole high school, post break up. Then, instead of Aranea's Mindfang arc, she lowkey has a breakdown, cuts everyone off, and runs away at nineteen, repeating the travel route of her bio mom Mindfang (whos lowkey a problematic celebrity adventurer here LOL). Eventually, she crashes down HARD in my city, we meet up, and start living together (bc we're both super depressed and think only the other one knows what's up). We're basically dating (kissing, she infodumps at me, we spend most of days together, etc), but any label feels restrictive. This time, no metaphor, we go through heteronormative arc and force of it (DESPITE LITERALLY BEING QUEER T4T😭😭). I use her as a "proof" that I can be lovable and shit, and she straight up uses me as a rebound for Porrim/Meenah LOL.
I guess main theme of Humanstuck Atanea (IM WORKSHOPPING A BETTER SHIPNAME DONT WORRY), is means to an end. We love each other, but do we *really*? (There's a straight up theme, that while both of us are technically bi, we both have strong preferences to girls/boys respectively, and it's a reoccurring question of if we even actually bi and attracted to each other LOL). Eventually, Aranea will have to reach out to others and be like "hi guys I'm not dead actually". And i will have to stop using her as emotional crutch and proof LOL. They're both aware of it.
They both think they know EXACTLY how the other one thinks, but they're wrong. They think they know them so well and understand themselves, but they're wrong. Often, this "understanding" just acts as an excuse to treat each other poorly😭😭
JOBLESS FRIDAY BY MITSKI PERFECTLY ENCOMPASSES THEIR RELATIONSHIPS IMO (partially bc we're both actually jobless nepo babies burnouts LOL), ESPECIALLY THIS LINE
"He only loves me when There's a means he means to end Oh, I miss when we first met He didn't know me yet" — both of us to each other i think LOL
OUR BEST WAY OF ACTION IS PROBABLY BREAK UP FOR A BIT, AND LET ARANEA EITHER GET WITH PORRIM (not Meenah due to what she did to Vriska LOL), OR AT LEAST GET CLOSURE WITH HER. or with someone else. I DO THINK WE CAN DATE, just not at the points where we do LOL
Also we're comic book collector x classic literature collector, play pick-your-choices games together (Aranea actually analyzes the lore and what choices could lead to what, so she picks storyline-ones and I pick the ones that affect character relationships), and our nicknames for each other r starlight and knight (NOT ACTUALLY MY CLASS i just like when she has princess-y themes and I have knight ones,,,,). OH AND WE'RE BLUE X RED COLOR CODED humanstuck us r POC4POC (I'm Kyrgyz and shes Afro-Egyptian and Kyrgyz too), poly (she can have her thing with Damara, bc I support Aravris in EVERY way), and childhood friends to strangers to lovers to ??? (also I asked kid Vriska for a blessing to date her, when we dated in middle school LOL).
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