The headcanon you'll have to pry from my cold dead hands is overachiever Patroclus. He's the only character in the Iliad I can think of that's seen preforming tasks (and doing them WELL) in the three main social spheres of the poem (battlefield, public, intimate spheres).
Battlefield:
- Second highest body count after Achilles
- Repeatedly alluded to as Achilles’s fighting partner (when they were recruited, they were referred to in the dual) aka keeps up with AND complements the strongest Achaean fighter
- Killed a demigod (Sarpedon)
- Throws shade like the best of them
- Loved by and best at controlling Achilles's immortal horses
- Apollo had to physically push him down from the walls of Troy to stop him
Public:
- Mends wounds expertly & keeps the wounded company
- “Equal in counsel to the gods” and “gentle” as epithets
- Shadows Achilles in his meetings
- Trusted messenger
- Has an entire book where men of the Achaean camp risk their lives to retrieve his body
Intimate:
- Cooks well
- Manages Achilles's slaves
- Able to understand Achilles’s orders with just a look
- Listens to him sing & counsels him away from the rest of their comrades (also has lovely eyes and a lovely voice)
- Takes care of his guests
- Able to make Achilles bend with just his tears
Tl;dr: this man does EVERYTHING no wonder Achilles breaks down & stops functioning emotionally and socially the second he’s gone
if, when it ends, my dear husband, be my friend,
muse, lover and guide, shamsuddin to my rumi.
be heaven and earth to me and I’ll be twice the me
I am, if only half the world you are to me.
I want the full time movie of their story so badly that I'm gonna draw frame by frame animation if they wouldn't give that to us. And I'll start from the VERY BEGINNING!
Work in process. It's gonna be some concepts of their looks back then.
Welcome back, fandom! I decided to finally make a big fic rec list and there are a lot. You know the drill: some have definitely been on lists before, though I tried to highlight some lesser-known ones.
This is also a compilation that reflects my specific interests. As such, the vast majority of these are canon-universe, or pre-canon historical. I will separate them by canon universe and AU/canon-divergent for convenience.
In no particular order:
Canon Universe
A Glacier Moving Through You (10k) - harryhotspur
An exploration of Joe and Nicky’s life in New York during the AIDS crisis. Painfully beautiful and viscerally realistic. Reminds me of what we take for granted. Those who know me know I never shut up about this fic.
Some favourite lines:
Their eyes met in a way that said wordlessly, I see you. I am part of your family. Nicky saw David’s shoulders relax and the tears fell from his eyes. He sniffed and wiped them away.
Other recs from this author: everything feels too large (the steadings and the fields) (22k), An Unexpected Disruption (2.6k).
Old Olives (21k) - aeili_kindara
A crusades-era fic that I read years ago and it just glued itself into my brain. The author has a slightly different take on Yusuf and Nicolo’s first meeting, in which they actually cross each other at a few different battles on the way to Jerusalem. It’s just incredibly well-written and detailed. Feels like reading a novel or watching a movie.
Some favourite lines:
Yusuf’s grin hovers, then broadens. “See you around, then.”
Nicolo gives him a bow. “I expect you will.”
As he’s walking away, he hears the arrow rather than sees it. He tips his head sideways; it whirs over his shoulder and thunks into the heart of an olive tree.
Nicolo doesn’t turn back to look. He twangs the quivering arrow with one finger as he walks by, and hears a voice laughing from the walls. All the way back to camp, he doesn’t stop smiling.
Conviction (21k) - fadagaski
Unfinished, but I urge people to read this one because it is so worth it. Set before the events of the movie, while Andy is travelling alone, the boys take on a job in the Philippines where they end up on either side of a conflict that runs deeper than they expect. This author is so good at tension and details, I was hooked.
Some favourite lines:
Nicky pats his shoulder. “Poor Booker,” he says to Joe, “he’s been drinking so much crap since we left him that it has rotted his brain.”
Booker shoves him flat, landing in a sprawl across Joe, all three of them laughing as Booker leans across the pair of them to try to steal the bottle from Joe, but Nicky gets there first.
It’s been a very long time since Booker has felt a smile on his face. His cheeks ache with the unfamiliar arrangement of muscle.
for i have sinned (8.5k) - apocryphal
Can’t say much about this, to avoid spoilers. I recommend going in blind. It’s just a fantastic character study, with a huge gut punch.
Some favourite lines:
Immortality breeds muscle memory by necessity, a brain overloaded with a thousand years of life, seizing on any opportunity it can find to run on autopilot. Joe still reaches for a waterskin he hasn’t carried in seven hundred years. He regularly finds his sword in his hand with no recollection of drawing it.
And he will never remember whether or not he finished strapping Andy’s kevlar, that day.
the axe forgets, the tree remembers (19k) - Flamingbluepanda
Post-movie. After being captured and tortured by some of Kozak’s new guys, Joe loses all of his memories and has to start over again in New York. Meanwhile, the team search for him everywhere.
Some favourite lines:
Nicky let out an angry roar and punched a wall hard enough that one of his fingers broke and sent the proximal phalanx pushing through the skin. He didn’t even care or hesitate; he just shook his hand through the air and turned to walk away.
And that was when Andy shot him in the leg.
Nicky collapsed, then rolled smoothly onto his back and raised his gun, eyes wild. “Che cazzo, Andy?”
“You wanna get angry and fight something, you fight me,” Andy said, voice low and cold. Nicky narrowed his eyes.
no one does it better (13.8k) - maddielle
While Nile decides to go back to school and take a sexualities elective, Nicky delves into one of her textbooks. He and Joe decide to try their own hand at porn and accidentally get really into it. It’s just a delightful read, and reminds me how old and in love these guys are.
Some favourite lines:
“I know what sex is,” Nicky tells him confidently. “I’ve been having sex for nine hundred years. It isn’t this.”
“It is for some people, love,” Joe comments, warmly amused, but Nicky shakes his head.
“No, this is- There’s no passion. No connection. No one looks like this.” He catches a thumbnail of a slight woman strung up in ropes, all of the knots tied wrong. “It’s irresponsible.”
Other recs from this author: come as you are (6k), older now (but not done hoping) (2.5k)
Cabinet of Nonperishable Curiosities (3k) - KushielsMercy
A meditation on Joe and Nicky as a 900-year-old unit. Made me really think about what it means to be together for so many centuries, and it stayed with me for long time after reading. This author always writes so vividly and beautifully too, and I especially love the playfulness between Joe and Nicky in this one.
Some favourite lines:
They sit in silence, Nicky’s feet knocking gently back and forth against Joe’s shoulders. Joe always processes Nicky’s body as an extension of his own, but he’s uncomfortably aware of it this morning. Why is it he feels an absence of self when Nicky’s heels float away?
“How much of us,” Nicky finally murmurs, “is each other?”
Other recs from this author: Daughter of Dust (1k)
if i’d have lived longer (i still would have waited) (5.4k)- knoepfchen
Pre-canon. An exploration of Joe and parenthood. I re-read this one often, since it’s become very special and personal to me. Truly a beautiful fic.
Some favourite lines:
He would have expected Nicolò to be with them, seeing as his skills with a bow nearly rival Quynh’s by now, but he is not. Yusuf rounds the square and finally spots Nicolò crouching in the awning of a side street leading away from the square, surrounded by a throng of children. For a moment, it looks like Nicolò is telling them a story, and Yusuf can picture it, that earnest way of his—but then Nicolò stands to his full height again, one of the children hanging onto his back like a little bear.
Yusuf is too far away to hear, but he sees Nicolò’s lips move as he makes what is undoubtedly a whooshing sound, spinning on the spot, arms outstretched. The children shriek in delight, the one on his back the loudest.
Other recs from this author: all this time (15.9k), a thicket of shadows is a poor coat (32.8k)
world enough and time (9.5k) - raedear
Post-canon. A delightful fic in which Nicky takes a reluctant Andy to the dentist, and Joe and Nile talk after Joe tells her about a recurring nightmare Nicky has. It has all the emerging found family feels that we all love, as well as that ancient love between Andy and the boys.
Some favourite lines:
‘Nicky had a dream,’ Joe says, as though that explains why he’s the one out of sorts. Maybe it does. Maybe after nine hundred years, they dream the same dreams too. ‘He almost died on the crossing to Jerusalem, you know.’ She didn’t. ‘He dreams sometimes that he did, and because of that he walks alone through this life. It always leaves him shaken.’
It’s not Nicky sitting in front of her, pale at the edges and clutching his coffee like a lifeline.
Other recs from this author: I can tell (we are gonna be friends) (1.9k), an astonishment of form (3.7k)
beholder (19k) - liadan14
A throughout-history compilation of Joe and the muse, with himself as the muse, and times he was inspired by others. There’s a story at the end of this fic that Joe wrote that is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read, and I think about it so much. There’s also Joe being a total dumbass in love.
Some favourite lines:
For a moment, Nicolò simply continued looking at him, the humor in his eyes softening to something kinder and gentler.
Then, he said, “Yusuf, I love you.”
“I need to take those bowls to Ahmed,” Yusuf said.
Other recs from this author: constant stars (1.5k)
I live on kindness, faith and constant courage (37.7k) - Tam_Cranver
A medieval queer quartet fic set in France that is just incredibly well written. What else can I say? The details, the plot, and the dynamics between the immortals are all perfect. This author is incredible.
Some favourite lines:
Yusuf barked out a surprised laugh. “Alas, I’m still not certain I’m up to the task of being Andromache’s husband,” he said in mock mournfulness.
“Few men are,” she said, waggling her eyebrows at him. “Now come, help me see if this dress will work for me.”
Other recs from this author: Stop, listen, feel, believe (17.2k), The Plate of the Eclipses (90.5k)
whatever here that’s left of me (12.7k) - paigian
After Booker’s departure, the team takes some time off, and Nicky develops an old recurring pain in his shoulder that gets increasingly worse. This fic is all about loss, love, betrayal, and the sheer weight of these things. Gorgeous and timeless.
Some favourite lines:
What are these shoulders for? Holding up the weight of Booker’s loneliness; the backs of Joe’s knees; keeping a rifle steady for the kill. Catching a bullet next to the scapula meant for Andy as they escaped that awful building; as a place for Nile to lean against as every bone in her body stitched back together-
Other recs from this author: you made a fool of death with your beauty (15.6k), the deaths of nicolo di genova, in ascending order of sexiness and descending order of actual dying (14.2k), the Beyond Measure and Reason series (61.9k)
As The World Falls Down (5.2k) - superblackmarket
One of the first fics I ever read in this fandom. What can I say about superblackmarket? Just fantastic and gorgeously written, every fic.
Some favourite lines:
Then one day he woke up—he couldn’t have said what time it was, whether it was morning or evening—and Nicky was sitting at the foot of his bed, looking at him.
“Hello, Booker,” he said. He wore a grey kameez over military fatigues and his eyes were like chips of jade.
Probably a hallucination, Booker thought. “What’re you doing here?” he asked, slurring his words. “Thought you were up in, uh, whatchamacallit, the…”
“How long have you been like this?” Nicky said.
Other recs from this author: Tales of Burning Love (5.8k), Ere Babylon Was Dust (7.2k)……… all of them.
Gentle (2.7k) - AphroditesTummyRolls
A very sweet fic about Nicolo and his mama. Made me very misty-eyed. It’s always emotional to think that these war-seasoned immortals were once little children.
Some favourite lines:
Her heart squeezed in her chest, and she smoothed his soft hair where it stuck up in a cowlicky tuft. She loved her baby, she loved him.
He was so big now, he weighed on her arms. He gripped at her with his little dumpling fists, and she prayed he’d never let her go. She never wanted to stop holding him.
Centuries and Centuries (102.4k) - marbletopempire
Possibly one of the first crusades-era getting together fics in this fandom, and a famous one but I’m still putting it here. This fic is incredibly written, and such an intimate look into Yusuf and Nicolo’s past. Part of the reason for this is that it’s written entirely in first-person, which I’m a sucker for.
Some favourite lines:
Once, when I was a child, I sat on my father’s shoulders and watched as a man was hanged. The crowd was thick, full of laughter, and had the air of a festival. I watched as the man was led up to the gallows, his hands drawn behind his back. His face was one of terror – even at my young age I could tell – and as he looked out over the crowd his wild eyes locked onto mine. People jeered and threw rotten food at him but he did not flinch. He smiled at me briefly before they obscured his head with a sack.
Sodomite, I heard whispered around me.
though i’m dying to (fall in love with you) (19.6k) - yusufsmoon
Nicky finds himself hopping between alternate dimensions, finding Joe in each one. This is a comfort classic to me, it just fills me with so much joy.
Some favourite lines:
He takes in the way Joe’s eyes are regarding him; there’s an assuredness in those brown depths, that he realizes reminds him of Andy, of Quynh, even, before they lost her. Like they could take on the weight of the world with a smile.
life is very long (7k) - kaydeefalls
The OG description does it perfectly: Nicky and his immortal family, over the centuries. This fic is a forever favourite, full of love and wonder for the world and the immortal family.
Some favourite lines:
"Come, habibi," Yusuf murmurs, so close that his beard tickles along Nicolo's neck. "Will you not join me?"
Nicolo closes his eyes, trying to keep his breathing even. "I cannot dance."
Yusuf presses a kiss into the soft skin just below his ear. "I promise you, this is a dance you know."
Other recs from this author: Carthaginians (53k), catch you when the current lets you go (5.4k)
July 1982 (9k) - WarriorOmen
I read this one every summer, I swear. It’s got Joe on a motorcycle, clubbing, and the immortal husbands just being absolutely smitten for each other.
Some favourite lines:
900 years old. He’s 900 years old and completely rooted to the ground from surging lust and excitement because, sitting in the parking lot of this store, is Joe.
But it’s not just Joe, it’s some iteration of Joe that is currently straddling a massive black motorcycle, leaning over the handlebars like he owns the thing (which Nicky really hopes he does) and staring straight at Nicky with all the confidence of someone who has well and truly surprised his husband.
Other recs from this author: My Blade, My Love (2k)
Rain Season (6k) - yu_gin
This fic takes place after the Chernobyl disaster, where Joe is in a period of depression. The way the reactor is described is so scary, I feel like it’s this ever-surveying, hulking, breathing beast. And the way the effect of radiation on the immortals is described… there’s one small scene that will forever be in my head.
Some favourite lines:
That night he went to the reactor once again. He pushed himself closer than ever, determined to look the monster in the eyes. He could feel the heat increasing and the air burning his lungs. He knew what would come, he was familiar with the excruciating pain, but he couldn’t stop himself.
Fast Car (7.9k) - PastyPirate
Joe and Nicky go for a Thanksgiving road trip in the 90s. This fic has one of the best and goofiest representations of the immortal husbands’ relationships I’ve ever read, and the dialogue is so realistic. A major comfort read that I think about all the time.
Some favourite lines:
“This is more of a general present,” He held up the cassette, tilting it where Nicky could read the label.
Nicky tilted his head to read, and burst into laughter, “you asshole.”
Joe looked at the label, Sad Songs for Nicky written in clear script for this very moment, “What? No good? I have another.”
He held up the second cassette Happy Songs for Joe scribbled on it.
James Copley’s No Good Very Bad Year (12.7k) - Dr_Amuly
Absolutely delightful fic about the cleanup after Merrick’s, where Joe and Nicky “help” Copley (they fuck with him) go through the old pictures, while Copley hasn’t figured out that they’re a couple.
Some favourite lines:
“Joe,” Nicky gentled. “We are nearly a thousand years old.”
“I’m thirty-three!” Joe protested.
“Anno di Cristi…” Nicky sing-songed under his breath. Joe kicked him—lovingly, of course—under the table.
the profession of my fingers (24.9k) - mellyflori
A classic. This is one of those fics that reminds me why I love these characters so so much. Basically a compilation throughout history of Nicky worshipping Joe’s curls. It’s got some of the tenderest moments. Their love feels really tangible and believable here.
Some favourite lines:
"Surely, Lord, you’ve sent this man to test me.”
“Did you want me to test you? Because I can—“
“Thank you, Lord, for the gift of this great compassionate spirit in my life.”
Other recs from this author: there’s a trick with a knife (i’m learning to do) (65.2k)
Impelled by the Persuasion of Love (2.4k) - Lolo (TheLittleLo)
The queer quartet + courtly love! I read this when the zine came out years ago, then re-read it while I was taking a class in Arthurian literature, and it really has it all. Short but sweet, and I adore how the author writes the dynamic between the four immortals. Feels like a lovely bedtime story.
Some favourite lines:
“Can I stay with you tonight?”
“I think we can risk one night. You are meant to be the brother of my lady wife, after all.”
Nico made a face of disgust.
“Do not remind me,” Nico said, and he titled his head up to press his lips to Joseph’s.
the dark matter of you (12.9k) - Syysmyrsky (Arktikko)
Gorgeously written meditation on Yusuf and Nicolo’s early love through Yusuf’s account of an old relationship, and through Nicolo’s eyes. Very vivid and realistic, goofy at times, gets me right in the gut and feels so believable as a conversation between these two. Reminds me why I love their love.
Some favourite lines:
It feels so natural, he thinks as he looks at Yusuf, to be with this man, to love him. The more he does, the more it feels like perhaps loving Yusuf is what he has always been meant to do. It certainly had felt like destiny when Yusuf had kissed him that rainy afternoon, urgent and just a little desperate. Hurried, until Nicolò, hands still wet from the rain but so careful, had stroked his palm down Yusuf’s broad back slowly, sweetly, and something in both of them slowed down and settled. Calm like coming home.
Other recs from this author: The Devil’s Eye (6.2k)
Per usual it didn’t go as planned (but as it should) (19.8k)- linascribbles
Post-movie. The team spends some time in Peru. I come back to this fic every time I need comfort and some Nile love, it’s just so soft and good.
Some favourite lines:
"Nile!" Andy exclaims suddenly, eyes going wide and bright on the mirror. "I'm gonna get wrinkles!"
She sounds thrilled about it.
"You'll finally get to contest Joe on that," Nile replies, voice full of laughter. Andy pumps her fist.
The Lamp of Nicholas (20.5k) - ViridianPanther
A crusades-era fic in which Yusuf and Nicolo part ways, and Yusuf finds himself captured and imprisoned in a tower. Such a fun one that feels like a bedtime story or legend. It also got me obsessed with the word “defenestrate.”
Some favourite lines:
“—and I saw why the Almighty chose to bless us both with a reprieve from death. Because I have been the receiver of his kindness. And now I will never be able to thank him for that, I will never be able to tell him how much I loved him. Because I let him go back to the place that turned him into a monster, and now—”
Other recs from this author: The Death of You (22.7k)
Ten Ounces (3.5k) - suchA_Consequentialist
Post-canon, the aftermath of Joe being kidnapped and tortured. A beautiful fic with a gut-punch. This author is a master of bildup and the gut-punch, I am so so obsessed with it. Can’t say much without spoiling, I think it’s just best to go into this one blind.
Some favourite lines:
Against Joe’s chest, Nicky’s hand stays still and flat. He looks stricken and desperate as his hand presses harder against the skin.
There is no scar. There can't be. So, Nicky can't know.
Other recs from this author: A River Arrives in the House of the Dead Men (The Prodigious Flowering Rage) (4.8k)
To kindle a spark in the darkness (7k) - Nary
Pre-canon outsider POV in the 15th century. This fic has everything I love, following a man named Hassan who encounters the immortals at different times in his life. Follows the thesis of the movie perfectly, and it’s gorgeously written. Feels like watching a movie.
Some favourite lines:
Then Yusuf gave a sharp gasp, sitting up. Hassan scrambled back in alarm. Yusuf felt his chest with one hand, fumbling for his weapon with the other. "Ugh, one of them has an arquebus," he said, almost to himself, and then, noticing Hassan a few feet away, he gave a rueful smile. "I didn't mean for you to see that, little one."
Making the Marauders (62.2k) - nizzuto
A medieval Yusuf and Nicolo adventure, a Robin Hood story. They work together covertly to try and convince a greedy duke to have some compassion for his people, and this goes as well as one would expect. This author is a master of epics and tension, so it’s hard to choose a favourite, but this one always has me on the edge of my seat.
Some favourite lines (my favourite line is a spoiler, so):
“I,” Nicolò starts and stops and starts again, “He believes I am a harbinger of the Lord. I told him that I was to spread a message of mercy and altruism.”
“My Nicolò,” Yusuf says breathlessly. “An angel!”
Other recs from this author: He, Dreamless (126.7k), A Man Called Mercy (17k)
The Extraordinarily Complex Task of Condensing a 920-Year-Old Romance into a 145-Word Speech (While Being Abducted) (47.3k) - Liketheriver
An anthology following Yusuf and Nicolo through the centuries, with each scene relating to one line in Joe’s van speech. This fic has everything, everything. It’s such a tasty treat when you’re looking for action, angst, hurt and comfort, romance, and historical accuracy.
Some favourite lines:
“Oh, Yusuf,” Nicolo’s breath hitched, and Yusuf could feel warm tears against his neck. “It’s gone. All of it is gone.”
Yusuf cupped the back of Nicolo’s head, held him tighter. “I know, my soul, but at least you are not.”
Guiding You Through (6.2k) - mekana47
Post-canon, Booker & Nicky centric. The team is on an undercover mission when Nicky is given a truth serum, and Booker watches over a screen. I’m a sucker for the Nicky & Booker brotherly dynamic, and this fic just hits it right on the head.
Some favourite lines:
“He signaled,” Booker traces over the screen. Nicky’s head has dropped to one side, but his hand closest to the camera has two fingers pressed flat against his leg and the other three tucked into a fist.
“You have a signal for truth serums,” Nile says flatly.
Other recs from this author: Code Pink (700 words), Hold Tight (3.3k)
Illustrious Pagans (6k) - saintsideways
Exactly as it says: Five times Joe and Nicky did drugs. There’s something about this fic that I just want to eat. It’s silly and delightful at times, sexy and mind-bendy at others.
Some favourite lines:
“Someone’s house, I guess,” Yusuf said, drowsily. “Is this your hallucination or mine?”
“Does it matter?”
IT DOES NOT said the eyes, watching them benignly.
AU
Take What You Can (15.7k) - theoxfordcommando
An Old Guard x Pirates of the Caribbean au, executed flawlessly. What more could I ever want? Incomplete, but still very worth the read. The author fit the characters into their roles so perfectly, I just adore it.
Some favourite lines:
“I dreamed about you last night.” The words came out much softer than Yusuf had meant them to. Like a whispered confession in the dark hours of night. Nicolò’s eyes widened just a fraction and there, that look he knew. Nicolò was embarrassed.
“About the day we met,” Yusuf quickly clarified, less of a whisper this time. “Do you remember it?”
Other recs from this author: Lingering Aches (1.6k), The Ballad of Robin Hood and Nicolo (7k)
right where you left me (115.4k) - dreamtiwasanarchitect, liadan14
Canon-divergent au. I can’t say much about this one without spoilers, just… God. Please read this one. I’ve never been able to get it out of my head.
Some favourite lines:
Sometimes, he wonders what signal got crossed there, how it is that Nicky’s body takes pain and humiliation and turns them into bright, incandescent pleasure so well.
The Town By The Empty Lake (89.4k) - OldMagpie (Magpie Morality)
This fic deserves so much more everything — kudos, comments, bookmarks. It’s a gorgeous Lovecraftian mystery with an ensemble cast, incredible art and a playlist to match. Just fully immersive. I could picture it all so clearly in my mind.
Some favourite lines:
She rears back, heart thumping wildly, unsure what had prompted such a visceral reaction. She only knows she does not want to look at the painting again. Poor Yusuf al-Kaysani, maybe he is going mad - to have painted this and then placed it in his room to watch while he sleeps…
i love the way you see the world (series) (40k) - flightofwonder
A canon-divergent au series in which Joe is deaf. I just want to rec the whole series, because it’s hard to pick one out of it. A true classic.
Some favourite lines:
He had never needed to hear the prayers, only to feel them. He trusted in Allah to guide him with the rest.
Law of Attraction ☪ Abu Hurayrah ☪ unknown ☪ Ibn Al-Qayyim ☪ unknown - Joe and religion
Image descriptions as well as sources are under the cut. For Nicky's web weaving, please click here.
Images are edited by me and sourced from fancaps and screenshots of two gifs I had saved on my phone. All quotes found on pinterest and the internet, linked here: one, two, three, four (skipped five because I couldn't find the original pic again)
Image descriptions:
First panel: a quote in both Arabic and English that reads, "Your soul will be pulled to the place where it belongs."
Second panel: an edited image of Joe from the movie the Old Guard. He is wearing combat gear and has various bits of blood splatter on him. He is looking over at Nicky, who is off screen.
Third panel: a quote in both Arabic and English that reads, "When Allah said, "I only test those I love" I took the Pain like it was an Honor."
Fourth panel: an edited image of Joe from the lab scene of the movie. He is looking at Nicky who is off screen after having revived from medical torture.
Fifth panel: a quote in both Arabic and English that reads, "You told me "I healed," without knowing that I filled your scars with prayers so flowers could bloom there. But I know - God answered my prayers."
Sixth panel: an edited image of Joe, mourning over Nicky's body shortly before he revives after being shot.
Seventh panel: a quote in both Arabic and English that reads, "Allah Does Not forget the good you do / Nor Does He Forget the good you did to others. And the pain you relieved them from / No Will He Forget the eye which was about / to cry but you made it laugh."
Eighth panel: an edited image of Joe towards the end of the movie. He is studying Copley's board that showcases the impact the Old Guard has had on the world ~ a ripple effect that could be seen expanding through time and across the world.
Ninth panel: a quote in both Arabic and English that reads, "May you find someone who speaks your language so you don't have to spend a lifetime translating your soul."
Tenth panel: an edited image of Joe, from the van scene of the movie. He has just finished his speech, and looks over at Nicky who is off screen - his face is an expression of both yearning and intimacy, affirmed in the knowledge that Nicky knows everything said and unsaid from their centuries together.
That post I made earlier today got me Thinking™ about Mr Yusuf al-Kaysani and the way he uses humor, and turns out that I find that a really interesting trait of his character, so I'm giving it its own analysis
Like. Listen. Joe is funny. We know this and he knows this. It comes naturally to him and it's part of who he is. However, the more I think about the times he made deliberate jokes in the movie, the more I realize that they were almost always made in times of distress or to diffuse a tense situation
When we get the first scene of the immortal family, Joe shows that he is fun and carefree (the way that he spins Andy and makes her laugh nearly instantly), but he's also pretty laid back. He's happy to sit back and laugh as the moon when he's lost in darkness gets his ass handed to him in a bet, and generally takes a backseat in the interactions while the others do their respective clown routines. He isn't really trying to be funny, at that point; the ones making jokes are the others
The first time we see Joe have an "I am fucking hilarious" moment is when they're in the helicopter and he hits Nicky with his Fuckboy Grin™, and that is a mood diffuser if I've ever seen one. The other three are all tense, armed and getting ready for battle, and we get several slightly-uncomfortable long shots of them sitting still and getting into their Soldier Headspaces, and then it pans directly from Nicky's longsword to Joe's open mouthed grin. It makes Nicky smile, and it also gives some relief to the tension that had been building up
And sure, part of that is that it's how Joe is, he's the carefree one, but part of it also seems like a very intentional way of lightening the mood - and it works, too, both for Nicky and the audience
Then, the first joke he tells in the movie is the one about the shoes Copley planted in South Sudan, which. I hesitate to even call it a joke because it falls so flat, but that just solidifies the point that Joe is using humor on purpose to try and diffuse the tension in the group. It is clearly an attempt at a joke, he even gives a little chuckle at the end, but he's obviously hurt and it doesn't quite land. Still, he tries, because everyone is tense, and upset. And humor is the best way he has to try and pull them back from that state, if only for a moment
Then, over the rest of the movie, we- okay, to be fair they are in stressful situations the entire rest of the movie, but most of his deliberate jokes come as direct responses to Moments of Duress™ - "he thinks you're a mouse, Nicky" comes when Merrick is threatening them, "bedhead?" when they are strapped to their tables, "faster than the elevator" when the fight with Merrick is over and they're all catching up with their tiredness and tension, and so on. Similarly, his silliest moments come when they are in tense situations (the wink and other funny faces and laughing when they are in the dinner with Nile, which is obviously tense as hell for all of them). The fact that he's using humor deliberately to try and lighten the mood during hard times becomes pretty obvious when you put all of his jokes together
Which isn't unusual, plenty of people use humor as a coping mechanism. Hell, I'm from Latin America, "laughing so we don't cry" is a common saying where I live. But the thing that gets me is that Joe is not using humor as a coping mechanism, because it's not supposed to help him
He doesn't make a joke when he sees the shoes, despite the fact that they clearly get to him. He makes it when the others are rattled by the fact that they've been set up. When Nile dreams of Quỳnh, Joe is so visibly devastated, but he doesn't try to lighten the mood once. When he is in the van, chained and desperate to see if Nicky will wake up, he doesn't make a joke. When he finds out that Booker has betrayed them, which obviously hurts him, maybe more than any other of them, he doesn't make jokes (he is cutting, yes, and I'll admit that "no man left behind" "well there's always a first time" is one of the funniest lines in the movie to me, but I don't think he intends it as a joke; he means it, because he's angry, and the humorous effect of the response is cut by the "he's nothing but a traitor" at the end. But, again, Joe is just naturally witty so it comes across as funny without that being, necessarily, his intention). In the moments when Joe is in the most distress, his humor is nowhere to be found. When his family isn't there to hear/see his response, he is just as tense as the rest of them are
Which brings me to my main point - Joe isn't using humor as a coping mechanism, because he isn't using it for himself. He uses it for his family's sake. Every time he makes a deliberate joke, or is goofy, it's for an audience, it is directed at the rest of the family, it is functional. He is trying to make them feel better, not himself
And that makes sense, because after Quỳnh was gone and before Nile joined? Joe was the only one who was really light in their group. Andy and Booker were obviously doing their Depression and Self Destruction Tour at nearly all times, and Nicky is a rational person. When confronted with problems, he thinks of solutions. When Andy is mad at Copley, his response is to say "we did it right, for the right reasons" - which doesn't work, because Andy doesn't want to hear it, but it's the way Nicky thinks. He has no regrets as long as his heart is in the right place, and when in a tight situation, he's going to try and get out of it. He's not the kind of guy who lightens the mood when things get tough; he is the kind of guy who takes everything deeply seriously, and takes it upon himself to find a way out of bad situations
Which is not to say that Nicky is a closed-off cold weirdo who doesn't know how to have fun, because if the baklava bet proved anything it's that Nicky also knows how to try and make his family happy. I know we all love to roast him for being shit at bets, but let's be real for a moment here - after a millennium of knowing Andy, there's no way he doesn't know that he will never fucking win at this. When he loses, he puts his hands over his face, but we can see that he is smiling about it, and I think he covers his face to hide that fact. I'm pretty sure Nicky was genuinely trying to outsmart Andy when this started, but at this point I'm also completely sure he just keeps doing it because it makes everyone laugh when he inevitably loses
(I think Joe knows that, too, because the smile he gives Nicky when he proposes the bet is too knowing and too fond)
But Nicky's moments of lightness come when they are already at ease; once the mood darkens, Nicky immerses himself in the seriousness of the situation. He is a soldier, and that's the headspace he immediately goes into. Which has its role in the group, but the fact remains - without Joe, the three of them would let themselves be swept up by the tension in their lives and never come back. They need Joe, because they need someone who can bring levity and soul into their lives
Which is a role Joe fulfills naturally, of course, because that is who he is - he is the artist, the one who's in love with life, the one with the easygoing personality and sense of humor. But it is also a role he fulfills consciously, and deliberately, because Joe also cares deeply, and so he knows that they need him to bring them back in the moments of darkness, and he is still trying, desperately, to keep his family together emotionally
And I just wonder how much of a toll that takes on him sometimes. Because after Quỳnh and before Nile, there was no one to do it for him, no one to pull him from his own darkness. And whenever there is tension in the group, Joe needs to step up and try to take care of everyone. And I'm not saying they don't take care of him as well, obviously, but this does mean that Joe is frequently choosing to put his own fears in the backseat in order to help his family. And the thing about using humor as a coping mechanism is that it's an easy way to make your own feelings ignored, both by yourself and others
Now, obviously Joe also allows himself his feelings - part of his whole thing is that he feels so openly and so intensely - and him and Nicky are clearly constantly playing taking-care-of-each-other chess trying to outprotect the other at all times, and Andy also tries to care for them all despite her own pain. But there is this particular thing that he also needs and that no one else is really well-equipped to provide, and that kind of forces him to put his own feelings aside on a regular basis so he can help the others. And it's gotta be pretty lonely and alienating, sometimes, to be the one to always take the lead in these moments and be the only source of lightness when things get heavy
(I'd also like to take this moment to praise TOG for making it so that Joe takes this role without making him a Comic Relief Character™ and also giving him the depth and complexity he deserves. God, I love this movie)
So, in conclusion, I believe that Joe being the only one who is able to diffuse the tension in the group a lot of the time is one of the ways in which he suffers from their isolation. It makes him uniquely lonely and challenged by their immortality situation, as they all are. It is also one of the small ways in which he takes care of everyone else, and an important role he plays in the group, particularly after Quỳnh is gone and before Nile comes*
*by which I don't mean that Nile is the New Comic Relief, although she is also pretty funny. What I mean is that her arrival changes a lot in their dynamics, particularly because it makes Andy visibly lighter, so the situation changes considerably once she's in the picture
TLDR: Joe uses humor to try to support the rest of his family emotionally, and it's an interesting trait of his character
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