Synopsis | you swore off love to protect your career after a painful past. When a high-profile collaboration forces you to partner with the industry’s charming "IT Boy," your intense chemistry leads to a simple, no-strings-attached proposal. As the professional lines blur during late-night studio sessions, your staunch resolve against falling dangerously begins to waver.
Warnings | MDNI; NSFW content ahead, dom!yeonjun x sub!reader, unprotected sex, grinding, groping, pet names used, semi public sex
Pairing | idol!yeonjun x idol!reader
Type | oneshot (but with two parts)
Genre | idol au, friends with Benefits, smut, angst
A/N | I was supposed to release it like a oneshot but idk why but tumblr has been fucking me, so I decided to release it in two parts. it’s my first time writing something so long especially smth including smut! I’m sooooo excited to share this with you guys, ackkk. Hope y’all like it. Happy reading! <333
The sound of your alarm wakes you up from your deep sleep. You glance at the clock and squint your eyes to make out the blurry lines which read "6:32am."
"Great" you mumble as you sit up to stretch your arms and swing your legs over the side of the bed. This was the third day in a row of only getting 3 hours of sleep, but you supposed that this was the life you chose when you auditioned to become an idol.
As you stare at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, you start to reminisce about how you got to where you are now. Your days as a trainee at YG Entertainment seemed so far from now, as your group had since become a huge success with you as their leader. The days spent practicing until the early morning, attending vocal lessons, and saving up to enjoy meals were now replaced by jammed packed schedules, performances, and traveling overseas. You can't help but miss some of those old days. It was tough work, and your future was uncertain, but times were less complicated back then and you could enjoy simple things like being in public without getting swarmed by fans or going on dates.
You can't remember the last time your heart fluttered or someone swept you off your feet. But it was for the best that your focus was solely on your career. After all, that's what got you where you are now—on your way to a recording session for a collaboration track at SM Entertainment. You hadn't had time to find out who it was you were collaborating with, being more focused on learning the song and preparing for the session. But you trusted that your partner would be equally prepared, and that the recording would proceed smoothly.
You were not prepared however, to be standing inches away from Jaehyun as you swung open the door to the studio.
"Oh, hi there, I was just about to take a quick trip to the bathroom. Sorry I didn't see you there." He shyly stated as he awkwardly massaged the back of his neck while avoiding your eyes.
You couldn't help but notice how effortlessly handsome he looked in a simple white T-shirt draped over some black joggers. His grey hoodie was unzipped and fell off his left shoulder, revealing just an inch of skin. His hair looked freshly washed and perfectly messy—was that a hint of vanilla you smelled? You almost got lost in a trance when he finally spoke up again.
"I'm Jaehyun by the way, nice to meet you."
You stumbled backwards a little bit, caught off-guard by the sudden close proximity between the two of you. He gently reached out his hand, and you snapped out of your daze to return his handshake.
"I'm Y/N, glad to be working with you!" You cheerfully replied, slowly starting to regret lazily rolling out of bed this morning without putting much thought into your appearance.
"I'll be right back; you can go ahead and start recording your parts."
Jaehyun lightly gripped your shoulder as he slid past you in the doorway. Electricity sparked from his touch, and it took you a few moments to calm your racing pulse before entering the studio.
Always making a point to be incredibly professional and give your best effort in your projects, you quickly shook off your nerves and refocused your attention to recording the song. You steadily started to feel more comfortable and began to put all of your emotions into your singing. After finishing your verses, you felt proud of your work, turning your attention to the producer to see if you got his approval. Instead however, your gaze met Jaehyun, who evidently was back from the bathroom and now stared at you with an unreadable expression. His momentary smirk turned into a sweet smile as he gave you a thumbs up from the other side of the window.
“Hey, you did amazing in there!” Jaehyun reached out his hand to give you a hi-five.
"Thank you! I'm sure you'll do great as well." You clash your palm in his.
You notice how small your hand looks against his, how warm his touch feels, and how long and slender his fingers were. For a moment, his eyes dart towards your lips then back to your hands, which had still been connected a bit toon long for a friendly hi-five. He chuckled as he brushed past you once again, this time gripping your waist as he slipped by.
After stepping out of the recording room, you patiently waited on the couch while Jaehyun finished up his parts. You couldn't help but admire his angelic vocals that tugged on your heartstrings every time he sang.
After he finished, it was time to record the chorus that both of you shared. Being squeezed in a tiny room with a ridiculously attractive man certainly wasn't the worst way to spend your morning, but singing together into one microphone proved to be a challenge.
Jaehyun was almost a foot taller than you, which made it tricky to find a good height to position the mic. Not wanting to burden him with having to sing while squatting to your level, you insisted that you could just stand on your tippy toes. He must have seen you struggling to balance, because in the middle of your harmonies, you felt a gentle hand land on your lower back, giving you some support. You subtly glance over at him, and he returns your gaze with a slight grin. You feel your cheeks heat up but do your best to finish the session without getting distracted.
"We fit pretty well together," Jaehyun smiles as he nudges you while you listen to the recording. "our voices, I mean."
You agreed with him, the song was definitely going to top the charts, and you couldn't help but pick up on his subtle flirting and suggestive comment. Feeling uncharacteristically brave, you reply "I think we could fit well together in other ways too."
This comment catches him by surprise, but gives Jaehyun the green light to act on his desires. "How about you show me how well we can fit together?" He says with one eyebrow raised, as if he was challenging you to live up to your words.
"If you want to come back to my place, I can definitely do that." And without missing a beat, he grabs your hand to lead you out of the studio.
Sure enough, you and Jaehyun proved that you fit well together. Really well. Right after returning home from the recording session, he wasted no time pinning you against the door and attacking your lips that he had been longing for all morning.
After the first passionate kiss that left your lips bruised and you gasping for air, he slowed his pace. His lips lightly brushed over yours, giving you a few short pecks before slightly parting his mouth to slip in his tongue and deepen the kiss.
You melted at the feeling of his mouth on yours, kissing you so softly while his hands gripped onto your waist like his life depended on it. You slipped your arms around his neck and felt his leg slide between yours as he moved from your lips to pepper kisses down your neck. He slowly began to rock your hips against his leg and you moaned at the friction he applied between your thighs.
"Jaehyun" you whined when he suddenly let go of you. At this point, you looked like a hot mess with your face blushing red from the intense make out session and your thighs clenched together from neediness.
"Don't worry baby, I just wanna take my time with you. I'll make you feel real good, I promise." He whispered as he admired your disheveled state.
"Well hurry up then." you pouted, beginning to feel shy from the attention he was giving you.
"What the princess wants, she gets." He abruptly lifts you off the ground and carries you to your bedroom.
Maybe it was the fact that you hadn't felt a man's embrace in so long, but you truly believed this man would be the death of you. He knew exactly how to make you feel good and he looked unbelievably hot doing it.
What started as an impulsive decision to act upon your undeniable chemistry during the recording session turned into multiple nights sneaking over to his dorm to fulfill each others' sexual needs. Neither of you ever addressed your relationship, but you were perfectly content with the unspoken agreement you shared. He called you when he needed you, and you did the same. You were happy with this arrangement as it allowed you to experience some romance without the pressure of commitment. You were friends with benefits.
You weren't tied to each other and as long as you both still benefitted from your meetings, then there were no problems.
Until there was a problem. You started catching feelings. But how could you not when he looks at you so dreamily as he wakes up in the morning? When he holds you tighter if you try to leave the bed? When he whispers to you how you are the most beautiful girl he's ever laid eyes on?
You were only human, and he is too, after all. Maybe he feels the same way. He must feel the same way or else he wouldn't do all those things, right? You start going crazy over this dilemma and decide to confront him about it. It's always best to come clean and be transparent. You convince yourself that the worst that could happen is he doesn't feel the same, and you would just move on and forget these feelings. You had been avoiding these emotions for years now anyway, how hard could it be?
You were determined to have this conversation with him the next time you two met. As you approached his dorm, you took a deep breath. "Come on, Y/N, let's just get this over with." You say to yourself. You raise your fist to knock on the door when suddenly, it swings open. Just like the day you met, you are not prepared for what you saw.
"Oh! Sorry, excuse me." She quickly mumbled as she rushed out the door.
Karina was Jaehyun's label mate. You knew they were close but you didn't expect her to be visiting his dorm on a late night like this. Unsure of what the two of them could be up to at this hour, you slowly step into the room.
"Hey, I wasn't expecting you." Jaehyun casually remarked as he grabbed his shirt from the floor and slipped it back over his head. He was in nothing but boxers and you instantly regretted your decision to come tonight.
Your stomach turned and you felt sick at the realisation that he was having sex with other girls. Of course, you two never set boundaries for that so you couldn't really be upset at him. You were more upset with yourself for believing that he might have feelings for you too.
"Sorry, I...didn't know you were busy." was all you could muster before you turned and left as fast as you could. You felt like an idiot and needed to leave that place as soon as possible, angrily blinking back your tears. How could you be so stupid? Of course he didn't have feelings for you.
It was another lesson learned. From now on, you really were going to prioritise your career over everything else. You were going to work hard and focus on yourself. No more time or energy would be spent on fantasising over relationships, not when they always end up hurting you anyway.
For the next few weeks you spent every waking hour preparing for your group's comeback. It was a great distraction from the emotional turmoil you just endured, and you were genuinely excited to be onstage again.
As part of your promotions, your manager secured you a spot as the new MC for Music Core. You had never been an MC before, and were a little nervous to take the position.
"Don't worry sweetie, you're naturally charismatic and the fans will eat up anything you do." She reassured you. "Just rehearse your lines, pay attention to your cues, and build chemistry with your partner. That's all you need to do!"
"Y/N, I know it's been a while since your last comeback, but don't tell me you forgot that MCs always have partners."
You guessed she was right, all of the popular music programs had multiple MCs that would bounce off each other as they hosted. You suddenly grew even more anxious thinking about having to develop on-screen chemistry with a stranger while nailing your lines.
Your manager sensed your nervousness and rubbed your shoulders to sooth you. "Stop stressing about it Y/N, your partner is experienced and actually very sweet from what I've heard. You two will have a meeting before filming to get to know each other so don't worry about having to do this with an absolute stranger."
You sigh but trust her words. It's not like you are shy of the camera after all, this will just be a new skill to add to your resume.
"So who is my partner?" You hesitantly ask.
"It's none other than 4th generation's 'It Boy'—Yeonjun from TXT!"
"Y/N, wake up! Wake up alreadyyy." You open your eyes to see your group mate Mia sitting at the edge of your bed, shaking your legs to wake you up.
"Ughh what do you want?" You whine as you lightly kick her bum off the bed and pull the sheets back over your head. "It better be important if you're interrupting my beauty sleep." You mumble under the covers.
"Well do you consider your scheduled meeting with the Music Core MC important?" Mia huffed as she pulled down the sheets to expose your face.
Oh god. You had totally forgotten about that.
"Shit, what time is it?" You bolt up and check the clock.
"7:28am dumbass." Mia sneered as she crossed her arms and rolled her eyes at you. The two of you always bickered non-stop, but that was only because you cared for each other so much. Mia was the only person who truly understood you and you felt comfortable enough to argue with her without any hard feelings.
"Fuck, I'm going to be late! I'll just throw something on real quick, could you hand me my hoodie?" You scramble around the room trying to brush your teeth, change your clothes, and do your makeup all at once.
"Look who's wide awake now!" Mia snickered as she handed your hoodie over. "Skip the makeup babe, it's not a formal event or anything, there won't be any cameras."
"Right, right," you agree with her until you look over at your reflection in the mirror to see a literal zombie staring back at you. "Oh my god I look like death." You wail in desperation. These long nights of recording and practicing had left you sleep deprived for days.
"You'll be fine, it's not like there's anyone to impress." She pauses before mischievously appearing in the mirror behind you. "Unless, you're trying to impress Yeonjun?" She smirks while tapping her fingers on your shoulders.
"Girl, you know how I feel about boys right now." You glare at her in the reflection with an unamused expression. You had confessed to her all your sorrows from your situation with Jaehyun and how you wanted nothing to do with men from here on out.
Mia giggles as she turns you towards her. With a makeup brush she starts applying concealer under your eyes. "I'll take care of your eye bags, just finish brushing your teeth so you don't smell like death too."
After getting ready in a record time of 14 minutes, you give Mia a quick hug, thanking her for helping you this morning and then dart out the door. Luckily your meeting was just down the street at your company building, and you could get there on time. You didn’t though.
The clock on your phone is a glaring indictment: 4:17 PM. Seventeen minutes. For an idol like you, being seventeen minutes late to a professional meet-and-greet-even a casual one meant to "get to know each other"—is practically a scandal.
Your lungs burn as you skid to a halt outside the designated studio room. You quickly pat down your wrinkled practice shirt, smooth the kinks out of your hair, and suck in a deep, shaky breath. Professional. Composed. You're Y/N.
You don't bother with a polite knock. You throw the door open and immediately drop into a
90-degree bow, your neck stiff with panic.
"I am so incredibly sorry, Yeonjun-sunbaenim!" you blurt out, the honorific sounding desperate and loud.
"There was an unexpected issue with traffic flow near the gate, and I should have been more prepared. Please, accept my deepest apologies for my tardiness."
Your head remains bowed, your face hot with embarrassment. You've already made a terrible first impression on a respected senior artist, and you haven't even discussed the song yet.
A low, gentle chuckle breaks the silence, warm and surprisingly close.
"Sunbaenim? It's just Yeonjun, please," the voice says, entirely devoid of annoyance. "And you can relax. I just got here myself."
You slowly straighten up, lifting your gaze to meet his. Yeonjun is leaning casually against the edge of a sleek, black meeting table, putting his phone away. He's dressed comfortably in simple jeans and a soft hoodie, looking relaxed and approachable. You know the "I just got here" is a generous lie, but the kindness immediately dissolves the tight ball of nerves in your chest.
He pushes off the table and walks toward the chair opposite him, giving you a dazzling, easy smile that crinkles the corners of his eyes.
"Seriously, no worries at all," he repeats, pulling the chair out for you. "Sit down. It actually gave me a few extra minutes to listen to your last solo track again. I was trying to figure out how I'm going to match your energy on this collab."
He gestures for you to take the seat, then slides into his own, resting his chin on his hand as he looks directly at you. His gaze is steady, focused, and feels intensely personal.
"So," he continues, a slight, knowing smirk appearing on his lips. "Since we're collaborating, and we're going to be spending a lot of late nights in the studio together, what do you like to drink? Coffee? Tea? I'm buying the first round."
“It’s fine actually, I bought mine on the way.”
Your profound embarrassment suddenly washes away, replaced by a swift, confusing warmth. He wasn't just being polite; the way he leaned slightly forward, the casual mention of "late nights together," the persistent warmth in his eyes.
Is he actually flirting with you? It's a completely ridiculous thought-you're colleagues meeting for work-but as you look at Yeonjun, the distance between "senior idol" and
"potential love interest" feels impossibly small.
"So, since we'll be working together soon, why don't you tell me a bit about yourself? Aside from being an amazing performer."
He chuckles at your words and looks up at you with a grin. Your feel your heart skip a beat when you lock eyes with him. He was so charming and bright and you were in awe of how beautiful he was.
"Hmm, when I'm not dancing, I love to swim, skate, or visit a new cafe." He swivels his chair back and forth as he lists out his interests, and you find it so damn adorable.
"You've got good taste by the way, ice americanos are my go-to as well." He lifts his cup and places it beside yours.
You smile at him, "I guess we have something in common then."
"That, and having great style."
You scoff, "Are you trying to be shady, because I know I look like a bum right now."
He raises his eyebrows in surprise, "What do you mean? I like your hoodie, it's really cute."
You glance over and see Yeonjun sincerely confused with his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pouting. For the second time, you lock eyes and your heart beats out of your chest. Why is this stranger's words having such an effect on you? You're probably just starstruck by how good-looking he is. Surely this feeling of infatuation will die down as you work with him more over time.
Suddenly feeling shy, you look down and start fiddling with the drawstrings hanging from your hood. Why are you acting so awkward? He called your hoodie cute, not you.
"So what about you? What do you like to do in your free time?" He asks.
"I hardly get free time to be honest." You chuckle as Yeonjun knowingly nods in agreement. "But when I do, I love being outdoors. It really helps me destress and clear my mind."
"That's how I feel about painting! What kind of outdoor activities do you like?"
"It could be anything really, I've always wanted to bike along the Han river."
He laughs in response and you worry that he thinks your confession was silly.
"I know, I know. Biking is totally a lame way to spend free time."
Yeonjun looks up at you with concern. "Oh no, I didn't laugh because I thought it was lame, I laughed because I was surprised a top idol like you would be interested in such simple things. I actually think that it's really admirable."
You smile while nodding your head. Not knowing how to respond, you reach over to your cup and take a long sip of coffee from the straw. After setting the cup down and finally lifting your eyes back to Yeonjun, you notice that he is staring at your lips.
His eyes travel over to the cup you placed on the table, and you realise that it was his cup you had just taken a sip out of. You felt your whole body freeze in embarrassment, and self-consciously cover your mouth.
"I am so sorry, I didn't realise I grabbed yours. I can buy you a new one!" You profusely apologise for your mistake, hoping you hadn't made him uncomfortable.
"Don't worry about it, really, it's no big deal." He reassures you.
"Please let me get another cup for you, I'm really sorry! I'll head downstairs now and be right back."
You stood up and head for the door. Just as you pass Yeonjun’s chair, he lightly tugs on your sleeve, causing you to pause and turn your head back towards him.
"Y/N, it doesn't bother me, I mean it." He tries to convince you. "Here, see? I don't need a new drink." He says before grabbing his cup and taking a sip from it.
Your eyes immediately widen in shock as you watch his lips touch the same straw yours had been on just moments ago. Yeonjun’s lips on the straw. Your saliva on the straw. Yeonjun’s lips on your saliva on the straw. You didn't know if you should feel more embarrassed about the fact that you just had an indirect kiss with Yeonjun, or about being so affected by the fact that you just had an indirect kiss with Yeonjun.
You quietly return to your chair and mentally curse yourself for reacting like a teenager. Indirect kisses are no big deal. You've kissed dozens of boys in the past and not felt nearly as flustered as you do right now. Keep it together and be professional. This was a meeting for work after all!
Before you can interpret any hidden messages he was trying to relay with his actions, Yeonjun checks his watch.
"Sorry, it looks like I have to leave for my next schedule now. It was really nice meeting you today Y/N. I look forward to being your partner." Putting his cap back on and grabbing his coffee, he rises from his chair.
You stand up as well and give him a friendly bow. "It was great meeting you as well. I can't wait to host with you!"
With a soft smile and wave, Yeonjun exits the room.
You plop back down on your chair and continue drinking the rest of your coffee while resuming your observation of the city streets below you. You felt a smile creep on your lips as you recount your meeting with Yeonjun. Not only was he beautiful on the outside, but he seemed to be a beautiful person on the inside as well. You felt as ease knowing that you could get along with him as future MC partners, and were now excited to start hosting your first show!
As you took your last sip of coffee, you headed out the door. Before tossing your drink in the trash, you notice the logo on the cup was not that of the YG building cafe. Realising you once again accidentally drank Yeonjun’s coffee, you chuckle to yourself and make your way back home.
Under the bright lights that surrounded the vanity, you observe your own reflection. The makeup artist had just added the finishing touches to complete your look, and you were minutes from hitting the stage. You admire the sharp winged liner and bright glitter that enhanced the inner corner of your eyes, making your gaze pop with intensity.
You turn to your group mates, all dressed up in cohesive satin outfits. Over your shorts, you wore a white satin blouse with flowing ruched sleeves that hung off your shoulders and a laced corset secured under your chest. Each member paired their outfits with black combat boots and tons of silver chains and jewelry. You felt exhilarated awaiting your turn to take the stage.
It was your first comeback performance and your first day as the new Music Core MC. After the release of your group's music video last night, your promotions began at full speed. You were lounging in the waiting room, sitting on the couch and enjoying some snacks when a staff member entered the room holding a tray of coffees.
"This is a delivery for Y/N." He stated as he placed the tray on the table and promptly exited.
Curious to see who had ordered the coffee, you looked up at your group mates with an eyebrow raised, but they all shook their heads.
You spot a post-it note attached to one of the cups, and reach for it, reading the message that the sender left.
"This is to make up for stealing your coffee last time. Congratulations on your comeback and good luck today!
You can't help but grin at the sweet gesture before folding the note and placing it in your back pocket.
"Looks like someone has a secret admirer!" Mia teases as she grabs a cup for herself. "At least he knows to treat the rest of us too."
"Y/N unnie has a secret admirer?" The youngest of your group, Somi, cutely cuddles up to you on the couch and pries for more information. "Who's the brave guy that's trying to pursue the ice queen?" She blinks up at you.
"No one is pursuing me." You roll your eyes. "It's just a friendly gesture."
"Mhmmm." No one in the room is convinced, but they decide it's best not to question you any further.
You sip your ice americano with content, the cold drink somehow warming your heart. It felt nice to have such a friendly MC partner. You were excited to see him after you finished your stage today.
"You guys are up!" Your manager announces that it was time to head out.
As you approached the stage holding your members' hands, you did a quick cheer to get everyone hyped for the performance. Your heart was racing and a confident smile stretched across your face. It was showtime.
After finishing the performance, you exited the stage and were greeted by staff members holding fans and handing out cold water bottles. While the members monitored the performance recording, you quickly made your way back to the dressing room to change and prep for your MC role.
Yeonjun was already standing on stage in a white shirt and jean jacket, ready to present the next group. You scrambled to change into a pleated denim skirt and white sweater vest outfit to match his, then rushed to join him on stage.
"Hey! Sorry for the wait, I'm here!" You gasped trying to catch your breath from running.
"No worries, good to see you again! Your performance was amazing by the way. You looked incredible."
You smile brightly at him before turning your attention to your cue cards. This was your first shot at hosting so you didn't want to mess it up.
"I think you forgot to take this off." Yeonjun pointed towards the sliver chain necklace from your performance outfit that still hung around your neck.
“Ah I must have forgotten to remove it while I was changing." You explain to him, struggling to unhook the chain from the back.
"Here, let me help." Yeonjun turns to face you, brushing your hair off your shoulders. His fingers gently graze your neck as he fiddles with the necklace clasp. Your face is inches away from his and you slightly turn your head to avoid eye contact, but you can feel his warm breath on your cheek.
You start feeling lightheaded from the close proximity between the two of you when he finally unhooks your necklace.
"Ta-da! I got it." He places the necklace in your palm.
"You're welcome." He smiles, returning to his spot next to you.
"Oh, and thank you for the coffee too! My group mates really enjoyed it."
"My pleasure, I owed you one anyway."
"It was me who stole your coffee first! So really, I'm the one who owes you."
"I'll take you up on that offer then, you can treat me out next time." He grins, glancing at you from his cue cards.
"Rolling in 5, 4, 3..." the director signaled that the show would soon start. You straightened your posture and smiled sweetly to the camera. Yeonjun gave you an encouraging nod and the show began.
In between performances, you and Yeonjun waited from below the stage.
"You're doing great!" He whispered, giving you a reassuring grin.
"Thanks, I'm pretty sure I skipped half my lines and mispronounced the last group's name though." You sighed in defeat. Hosting a show was unlike any job you've ever done.
"Hey don't worry about it, I didn't even notice that you made a mistake."
Thankful that Yeonjun was there to support you through this, you nodded and returned to rehearsing your next lines, determined to deliver them perfectly this time.
As you reviewed the script for the next group, you froze when realized who you were introducing.
NCT127, Jaehyun's group. You tried to avoid him ever since you awkwardly walked in on his hookup that night. You had blocked his number, cut contact with any of his group mates, and deleted him from your social media accounts. As much as you wanted to never see him again, having the same career meant that you would inevitably see him at various events and schedules.
Taking a deep breath and relaxing your shoulders, you told yourself that you needed to be professional about this. Do your job as an MC and pretend like it doesn't hurt to see the man that broke your heart so close to you on stage again.
Sensing your tension, Yeonjun wraps his arm around your shoulder. Gently rubbing circles on your skin with his thumb, he looks at you with a worried pout.
"I promise you that you're doing great Y/N, don't be so hard on yourself, ok?"
Instantly melting at his touch, you look up at him.
"Thank you Jun, I'm just too inside my head right now." You admitted. "Did I just call you Jun? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be informal." You quickly apologize.
He laughs at your frantic apology and takes your hands in his.
"Stop saying sorry so much. I'm not offended, ok?"
"Ok, sorr—oops, I mean, yeah."
You feel much calmer after your short exchange with Yeonjun. The director calls for you both to return to the stage and you confidently take your position.
As NCT127 enters the room, you politely greet them, assured that you could work alongside Jaehyun without any problems. But as he walked past you, you locked eyes with Jaehyun and weren't expecting his expression to look so..sorry? Or maybe it was a look of regret. You knew he had wanted to talk to you after the night you left, but you didn't know if he had suffered as much as you did from the break up.
Suddenly, all of your emotions came rushing back. You quickly averted your gaze and spent the rest of the interview avoiding looking in his general direction. Meanwhile, Jaehyun's eyes stayed glued to you the entire time.
Yeonjun noticed this, and wondered if there was something going on between you two. Maybe he was just imagining it. He did feel like his attention had been stolen by you this whole day. But that's only because he was being a good partner and wanted to make sure he was there if you needed any help. It was his job to look after you, right?
After the interview was completed, you both exited the stage. Following closely behind you, Yeonjun can't help but ask you if everything was okay.
"Yep, I'm totally fine. Why do you ask?"
"Maybe I'm mistaken, but I thought I saw Jaehyun staring at you the whole time."
Your eyes momentarily widen in shock, but you quickly conceal your expression and clear your throat.
"I don't know what you're talking about. He probably was looking for the camera."
"Y/N, cameras are not hard to find. They're literally lined up in front of us." Yeonjun stops in his tracks.
You turn around so see him nervously glance at you then back to the ground.
"Are you sure..nothings going on between you and Jaehyun?"
Feeling like your whole act was exposed, you reluctantly sigh and decide to come clean.
"A while ago, we used to..see each other. But nothing came of it and we aren't involved anymore." You quickly confess.
Yeonjun's head rose up again. "So you're..not in a relationship with him?"
You chuckle and shake your head. "Not with him, not with anyone."
"Good. Good...I just thought he might have done something to hurt you. I was ready to protect you, you know?"
You smile at his concern. "You'd do that for me?"
"Of course! We're partners now."
"You're sweet, Yeonjun." You blush as you call him by his nickname for the first time. Grabbing a water bottle, you take a sip.
"I can be more than sweet." Yeonjun slowly approaches, your head tilting up as he stands chest to chest with you. You are frozen in place as he lightly holds your chin, thumb brushing against your lower lip. Not knowing what his intentions were, you feel as if your heart was going to explode out of your chest as he gazed lustfully at your slightly parted mouth and then into your eyes.
"You had a drop of water on your lip." He curtly stated, suddenly releasing his grasp. He brought his thumb to his mouth and softly sucked on it. "There, I wiped it off for you."
With a smirk, he proceeded to his dressing room, leaving you breathless and flustered in the middle of the hallway. You hadn't full processed what just happened, the only thought coming to mind was that this was going to be an interesting partnership.
Now that your group's comeback promotions were in full swing, you hardly had a minute to rest. From performances to variety show appearances to industry events, your daily schedule was packed.
Today, your first schedule was a dance practice for your duet performance with Yeonjun as the new Music Core MCs. You were confident in your dance skills, having started dancing when you were in grade school and improving your abilities since debuting as an idol. You knew Yeonjun is well known for his dancing too, and were curious to see how the both of you would perform together.
As your driver pulls up to the HYBE building, you exit the car and make your way to the practice room. Being that it was your first time in the building, you found yourself getting a bit lost before you ran into a familiar face.
You turn in your tracks to meet eyes with the person who just called your name.
"Yunjin! I'm so glad to run into you here!" Running up to her, you pull her in to a tight hug.
Yunjin had trained with you for a few months at YG before she made the move to HYBE. Once both of your groups made their debuts, you were overjoyed that you and your old friend had both achieved your dreams, regardless if you were together or not. Now, you cherish any time you cross paths.
"What are you doing here girl?" She asks as you release your embrace.
"I'm trying to find the practice room, but I got a little lost. Do you think you could help me?"
"Yeah of course, just take a right turn at the end of this hallway and it'll be the first room on the left. Why are you practicing here though?"
"I have a duet performance with Yeonjun for Music Core."
"Oh that's awesome! He's great, you guys will have such an amazing stage!"
You rub your shoulders and shyly smile. "I hope so, we worked pretty well together as MCs, but I'm kind of getting some weird vibes from him."
"A good weird or a bad weird?" Yunjin says with a concerned expression.
"A good weird I think? I feel like he's flirting with me sometimes, but you know I was never good at picking up those signals."
"Well I don't blame him if he is, you're hot babe." She winks at you as you roll your eyes. "But do you think he's someone you'd be interested in?"
"I dunno, I'm not really looking for anything right now.."
"Then just have fun with it! Whatever happens, happens, right?"
You nod in agreement. You always admired Yunjin’s carefreeness and optimistic attitude. She exudes confidence and you fed off of her aura, feeling more self-assured when you were around her.
As you bid farewell and head towards the practice room, Yunjin yells over to you once again. "By the way, Lesserafim is having a listening party for our upcoming album! You have to be there! I'll text you the details later, kay?"
You smile and give a thumbs up to her while walking backwards. Suddenly your back hits something behind you and you nearly stumble before two strong hands steady your shoulders.
You glance up, coming face to face with none other than Yeonjun. Realizing that he was the one who caught you from falling and that you were still laying against his chest, your whole face turns red in embarrassment as you quickly straighten yourself out.
You hear Yunjin giggling in the distance and shoot her an embarrassed look before turning back to Yeonjun and apologizing for bumping into him.
"No worries, Y/N." He grins. "Besides, we're gonna do a lot more than bumping into each other during practice."
He was right. You had watched a preview video of the choreography for your performance and knew that there was gonna be a lot of touching and holding during the dance. You didn't know how you were going to get through it without becoming a complete flustered mess, but you were determined to do your best.
As you entered the room, you were greeted by the choreographer. After some warm up stretching, you and Yeonjun began learning the steps together. You notice how focused he is, staring at the mirror while rehearsing the moves until they were perfect. Seeing how serious Yeonjun was being, you wanted to give it your all as well.
After an hour of learning all the steps, the choreographer left the room to let you practice them some more. Tired from the dancing, you both took a short water break. Yeonjun plops down on the floor, resting his back against the wall as he gulps down his water. His T-shirt sleeves are rolled up, exposing his shoulders and giving you a great view of his toned arms. Sweat drips down his neck as he ties half his hair up in a ponytail.
"You think you're ready for a run through?" He pants as he gets back on his feet.
"Yeah, I think I've got the moves down now. Let's give it a go." You adjust your crop top and tie your shoes before joining Yeonjun in the middle of the dance floor.
The music starts, and you both perform the first set of moves in perfect synchronization. You catch yourself smiling in the mirror, thoroughly enjoying dancing with Yeonjun , and you see a grin creep up his face as well. Your bodies flowed to the rhythm so effortlessly, matching each others movements at every beat.
When the chorus hit, you execute a move where Yeonjun places his hand on your waist as you roll your hips against his. His fingers graze the bare skin on your midriff momentarily, before landing on the cloth at the waistline of your leggings. Though you were appreciative of his consideration for not wanting to touch you inappropriately, you secretly yearned for his hands on your skin.
As the two of you neared the end of the song, you strike your ending pose, spinning into Yeonjun 's arms and landing with your hand on his chest and his hand around your waist once again. With the speed of your turn, Yeonjun’s hands are not as steady this time, landing right on you bare midriff as you freeze in your positions.
You both breathed hard with your bodies fully pressed against each other. Yeonjun stares into your eyes as your skin burns from where his hand is touching you, but you couldn't tear yourself away. You're unsure how many seconds pass before Yeonjun finally releases his grip on you and awkwardly stumbles back.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to touch you there."
"No, don't be sorry, it's part of the choreography!" You wave away his apology. "And I honestly don't mind, so don't worry about it!"
He looks up at you with a curious expression. "You don't mind?"
Your heart beats out of your chest by the way Yeonjun is looking at you. His question seemed innocent but his expression told a different story. He looked at you with uncertainty but longing as well. As if he was waiting for you to give him permission. Permission to do what he wanted with you.
You bite your lip in hesitation. "I don't mind..."
With a steady pace, Yeonjun starts making his way towards you, maintaining eye contact the whole time. He pauses once he's standing a foot away from you, trying to read your reaction to his presence.
"Do you mind if I..touch you like this?" Yeonjun grabs your hand, pulling you into his chest. His hands rest on your waist as you stare up at him with your heart racing.
"I don't mind." You whisper, snaking your arms around his neck.
Yeonjun lowers his head, resting his forehead against yours. Every part of your body is pressed against his besides your lips, and you so desperately wanted them to be connected as well.
After what felt like a century, Yeonjun speaks up again. With a faint whisper, he asks "Do you mind if I kiss you?"
The question was so simple and the way he said it sounded so innocent, it almost melted your heart. His body language on the other hand, was anything but innocent, as his hands were harshly gripping your waist and you could feel his bulge growing against your stomach.
Before you could even open your mouth to answer him, his lips crashed onto yours. Your legs go numb at the feeling of complete bliss from kissing Yeonjun . He wraps his arms around you even tighter, pulling you up as your body falls into his.
Once you regain your balance, he starts exploring your body with his hands, rubbing them all over your back and up to your neck, cradling your head before traveling down to grab your ass.
You lightly gasp as he massages your butt. He chuckles at your reaction and takes this opportunity to stick his tongue through your parted lips. You let out a soft moan as he deepens the kiss, reckoning a moan from him as well.
Yeonjun slips his hand under the material of your shirt, rubbing against the area of skin right underneath your chest. Your hand moves to the waistline of his pants and you begin fiddling with the button before you hear the sound of footsteps approaching.
Instantly you both pull away, eyes darting to the door before glancing back at each other. Yeonjun looked like a hot mess, hair tousled like he just woke up and lips bright and bruised. You swear you've never seen anything more beautiful.
Unfortunately you didn't have time to marvel at his figure any longer because you had about 5 seconds before your choreographer returned to the room.
You quickly straighten out your top while Yeonjun combs through his hair. Both of you are still breathing hard, but you figured you could just pass it off as exhaustion from dancing.
Miraculously, the choreographer didn't suspect anything, and the practice continued as planned. You were able to dance with even more passion from the pent up tension between you and Yeonjun , and Yeonjun was no longer being shy about touching you.
By the end of practice, the choreographer was well pleased with the both of you and excused you for the day.
As you packed up your things to leave, Yeonjun said goodbye on the way out the door.
"Good practice today, see you at Music Core!" He casually remarked as he approached you.
You turned to wave at him. "See you later!"
Smiling as he passed you, he gives you a wink before gently tapping your ass.
You can't help but chuckle at the cheeky gesture, returning a wink to him as well.
As you exited the building, you felt great. Under normal circumstances, you probably would have had a mental breakdown after getting hot and heavy with another guy. But after reframing your mindset and adopting Yunjin’s motto of "whatever happens, happens," you feel much more optimistic about the future.
Maybe this would be a one time thing, or maybe you would make out with Yeonjun again sometime. Either way, you were okay with it because you were just having fun. The pressure of feelings was not present, just the exhilaration of attraction and lust. This marked the beginning of a new and improved Y/N, a boss bitch who does what she wants when she wants to, and doesn't get heartbroken by stupid fuckboys. After months of moping around, you finally felt confident in yourself and were excited to see where this adventure would take you.
"We're rolling in 3, 2, 1..."
The lights and cameras were all on you and Yeonjunas you began your duet performance. After perfecting the dance during practice, it was time to showcase your chemistry and skills to the public, introducing yourselves as the new Music Core MCs in style.
You rehearsed the dance so many times that you could do it in your sleep. Now that it was time to perform, you easily flowed through the movements without much thought, leaving space for your mind to wander as you danced.
Yeonjunlooked stunning in his simple white tank top tucked into a pair of baggy cargo pants, with his hair half tied in a ponytail and secured with a bandana. As you snuck glances at him during your stage, you wonder what was going through his mind.
The two of you haven't addressed your kiss from the other day. It almost led to more than a kiss before the choreographer interrupted, and you wonder what would have happened if he hadn't. You were definitely attracted to Yeonjun, and he was obviously attracted to you too. But was it just a spur of the moment thing? Did it mean anything? Could this lead to something more?
You shake these questions out of your head and remind yourself that you are in a new stage of your life. The fun and careless stage. It was no use trying to the find answers to these questions because it wouldn't matter anyway. Overthinking things would only lead you down a spiraling path that inevitably ends in heartbreak. You've learned your lesson the hard way.
You finish the performance and hold your ending pose until the director yells "cut." With your hand resting on Yeonjun's chest, you can feel his heartbeat and the warmth of his body against yours. When you hear your cue to stop, you immediately release yourself from Yeonjun's embrace and cooly exit the stage.
Yeonjunwatches as you leave, still standing in his position on stage. You didn't even look at him before you left, and he wonders why you were in such a hurry. After the kiss at the dance studio, he couldn't stop thinking about you. Maybe it was just physical attraction, maybe it was pure lust, but something about you intrigued him more than other girls he's worked with.
You had a bright, cheerful side to you, always diligently working hard and trying your best at anything you do, which Yeonjunadmired. He also found your clumsiness adorable and loved seeing you blush or get flustered, especially if he was the cause. Yeonjunjust liked being around you, and all he knew was that he wanted to get to know you more, which is why he was quick to follow you off stage.
As you entered your shared dressing room and packed your things to leave, Yeonjunapproached you from the door.
"Leaving so soon?" He asked as he leaned a shoulder against the wall next to you.
"We finished our performance, so there's no reason to stay." You nonchalantly point out.
"About the performance, are you tired? You left the stage pretty fast after we finished."
"I'm not tired. I just figured we were done, so I left."
Yeonjunpauses for a moment, a slight frown on his face, before moving to the other side of the room to pack his things as well. Why was he annoyed that you left him on stage? You have a reasonable answer as to why you left, but for some reason, he wasn't happy about it. Maybe he wanted you to stay in his arms for a few moments longer. Maybe he wanted to pick up from where you left off at dance practice, and he was upset that you weren't as eager about being around him as he was around you.
Regardless, he had no right to be upset with you. You were his co-worker at the end of the day, and you had been nothing but professional throughout the performance.
But he didn't want to be professional with you. He wanted to do very unprofessional things with you. Things that he shouldn't keep fantasizing about, but he can't help it. After coming so close to having you just as he wanted, you had been interrupted, leaving Yeonjundesperately thirsting for a taste of your lips ever since.
Even now as he glanced back at your figure, bent over your bag on the table, innocently packing your things away, he can't help but visualize himself positioned right behind you, hands on your waist as he fucked you from the back. Thrusting into you so hard that you scream his name.
He snaps out of his daydream. Did you just call his name for real or was that in his head? He was so immersed in his fantasies that he can't tell the difference.
"Yeonjun, I'm leaving now. Just wanted to say bye." You slip your bag over your shoulder and head towards the door.
Shit. It wasn't a dream. Yeonjuncan't believe that he spaced out while you were talking to him. Panicked at the thought of you leaving so soon, he impulsively replies.
"Where are you headed?" He nervously asks.
"Back to my dorm, this was my last schedule for the day." You turn to face him.
Yeonjunhesitates for a moment, but decides to follow his gut—or maybe his dick, before asking, "If you're free, would you maybe be interested in coming back to mine? I could order some chicken and soju and we could..celebrate our successful performance!"
He quickly averts his gaze, staring at the floor because he is too scared to hear your answer. Celebrate your performance? Really? It was the best excuse he could think of on the spot, and he was starting to regret even trying to ask you to stay. He's about to retract his offer, worried that he may have made you uncomfortable, when you finally answer.
"That sounds good, actually. Let me take a quick shower at home and I'll meet you there. Text me the address?"
Yeonjunis in utter shock that his plan worked out. After texting you his address, you notify him that you'll be over in 20 minutes, giving him time to clean up his place and calm himself down from a mental breakdown.
Sure, Yeonjun's had girls over before, but they were far and few and only really happened when he was fucked up drunk. He was way too sober to keep his cool with you right now, especially since he's never spent this much time alone with you before. Maybe he should take a shot before you come to calm his nerves.
Just as he's downed his glass, one of his dorm mates enters the kitchen.
"Drinking alone now, are we hyung?” Soobin questioned the nervous boy.
"Not for long, I have some company coming soon, if that's alright."
"Company? Fine by me, I was just leaving anyway. Who's the company though?"
"It's Y/N." Yeonjuncautiously reveals.
Soobin pauses before playfully smirking at Yeonjun. "Have fun! Not on the couch or in the kitchen though please, other people use those."
"Oh, please. We're just friends." Yeonjunrolls his eyes, though his cheeks were tinted red.
"Yeah, yeah, just be safe and don't forget to use protection!" Soobin chuckles as he exits the dorm while Yeonjunrolls his eyes.
A little part of him did hope that things will lead to you staying the night. Okay, a large part of him hoped that. But he really couldn't be confident after how coldly you had treated him this morning. Maybe he was being over dramatic. You did agree to come over for dinner, which was a good sign.
He didn't have any more time to contemplate your feelings, because just then, he got a text that you were outside. He brushed his fingers through his hair one last time before opening the door to let you in. There you stood in an oversized tee that covered your spandex shorts, hair pulled up in a high ponytail. Yeonjunthought his heart would burst at how cute you looked, freshly showered and in your comfy attire. He wishes it was his shirt you were wearing.
He welcomes you in and leads you to the living room, where he had the chicken and soju set on a low coffee table in front of the couch. You take a seat on the floor, back against the couch, and he does the same right next to you. He feels a little awkward having you in his personal living space for the first time, and decides to pour some shots to lighten the mood.
You are grateful that Yeonjunsuggested drinking first. Though you hadn't had anything to eat yet, you needed to drink so that you could get more comfortable. What had possessed you to agree to come over in the first place? Oh yeah, the new adventurous attitude you had adopted. Apparently, Y/N 2.0 casually drinks with handsome men in their homes and doesn't shy away from it. You try to convince yourself that this was no big deal, but seeing Yeonjunwith his hair still wet from the shower, wearing only a thin t-shirt and gray sweatpants had your heart palpitations moving at an unnatural speed.
"Cheers!" Yeonjunlifts his glass to meet yours.
You both down your shots and instantly feel a bit more relaxed.
The two of you continue eating and drinking, gradually getting more comfortable chatting about the various paintings you point out, listening to each others' stories of how you became idols, and discussing random topics from daily life. You're about 4 bottles in when you start getting more adventurous with your questions.
"If you had to pick only one for the rest of your life, which would it be: a successful career, a loving marriage, or great sex?" You ask with a mischievous smile.
Yeonjunseriously ponders this question for a minute with a hand on his chin, before reaching his decision.
"I'd have to pick a loving marriage."
"Aw, is our Yeonjun a romantic?" You tease him, ruffling his hair a bit, drawing some giggles from him.
"I've been called that before." He says, straightening out his hair. "I'd definitely choose love over my career, but honestly I feel like love and good sex go hand in hand."
You scoff at his statement. "Not in my experience. I've had sex with guys who couldn't give two shits about me."
"That's why I said good sex. Sure, you can sleep with anyone who's willing, but it's not gonna be good unless there's some love there."
"I have to disagree with you on that. Actually, I prefer to have sex without all the emotions. Makes things less complicated and more fun."
"You sound like a bitter old lady. Did someone break your heart and turn you into a pessimist?" Yeonjunchuckles.
You sigh at how easily he saw through you. "Maybe, but that's just how I see it now."
"Maybe you need someone to show you what good sex really feels like." Yeonjunsmirks.
You're too tipsy to even feel embarassed about the conversation you were currently having with Yeonjun. "Do you know anyone who could help me with that? I'd be happy to humor them."
He inches closer to you, arm resting on the couch behind you. His shirt slightly rides up where he is leaning into you, exposing his v-line that ends at his low-rise sweatpants.
Yeonjunplayfully whispers in your ear, "I could help you."
You slowly turn your head to face him. He's hovering over you, breath hot against your cheek and he studies your face. His lips are so goddamn plump and kissable you can't stop staring at them, gradually shifting closer and closer as if your lips and his were magnets, drawing towards each other until they can finally connect.
You can't hold yourself back any longer. Every cell in your body is telling you that you need to be kissing Yeonjunright now. You shift forward to close the distance between you two, but he is even faster, moving his hand to cradle your face. His movements were a bit too rushed and sloppy though, accidentally knocking a glass onto the floor, splashing your shirt with a bit of soju in the process.
You both pull back in surprise and attempt to clean up the mess.
"Sorry, I got you a bit wet."
Yeonjunclasps a hand to his mouth in embarrassment of how suggestive his wording sounds. You let out a laugh, genuinely finding the whole situation funny, and Yeonjunrelaxes.
The liquid courage was really doing its job right now, because you feel brave enough to comment further. "This wouldn't be the first time you got me wet."
Yeonjun's expression suddenly changes. He's looking at you with hunger in his eyes, eating up your figure with his stare.
"I made you wet before? At the dance studio?" He leans back into
"Yeah" was all you could manage as his body towered over yours, making it hard to breathe.
Yeonjunmoves his hand to hold your waist, his other arm draped over the couch behind your shoulders. You stare up at him, biting your lip in anticipation.
"Did you like it? What I did at the studio?" He asks in a raspy voice.
"I liked it. Loved it." You respond.
"What if we hadn't gotten interrupted? What would you have done?" Yeonjunholds your chin, thumb grazing across your bottom lip.
"I-I would've..wanted to touch you." You gulped.
"Yeah? You'd like that? Touching me?"
"Would you want me to touch you too?" Yeonjunlowers his hand to you hips, gripping them hard and pulling them towards his. You follow his movements and land on his lap, straddling him.
You let out a sigh when you feel his boner against your butt. His hand travel underneath your shirt, holding your back, and his fingers feel so good against your skin.
"Answer me baby, how do you want me to touch you?" He breathes into your neck, lips fluttering over the sensitive skin.
"Please Yeonjun, touch me here." You guide his hands over your breasts. He gently massages his thumbs over your nipples, making you sigh in bliss.
You begin to roll your hips against his bulge, causing Yeonjunto moan. He leaves your neck to find your lips, planting rough kisses on your mouth before gently biting your bottom lip. Yeonjunis in complete ecstasy, getting to hold you in his lap like this, he feels like he could come just from you dry humping him. But he wants you even closer to him, he wants to experience you in every way possible.
He pulls away from your kiss and you wonder if something was wrong. Yeonjunstares back at you, breathing hard.
"Do you wanna take this to my room?"
You nod and get up from his lap. He leads you to his room, locking the door behind you before pushing you against it, hurriedly crashing his lips and body against yours.
His fingers tug on the waistline of you shorts, and you assist him by removing them altogether. He hooks his fingers around your panties to push them to the side, then starts rubbing circles around your clit.
"Fuck you're so fucking wet." He whispers as he slips in a finger.
You whine as he curls his finger inside you at a torturously slow pace. "Please Yeonjun, go faster."
He chuckles as he slips in a second finger. "Sorry princess, but I'm gonna take my time with you tonight. I promise I'll make it well worth it though."
Yeonjunstarts sucking on your neck as he leisurely pumps his fingers in and out of your core. You think you'll go insane if he doesn't start moving faster, so you take matters into your own hands. Sliding a hand through the front of his sweats, you find his rock hard dick and start stroking it. You feel it twitch, precum dripping from the tip, and Yeonjun’s whole body tenses up.
Happy with the effect you had on him, you start to move faster, sliding your hand up and down his length. Yeonjunstops moving altogether, one hand pressed against the door next to your head, the other clenched around your wrist, bringing your movements to a stop.
"I don't want to come yet..I still need to feel you." He pants as he pulls you towards the bed.
Landing on the soft sheets, you watch as he reaches into his drawer for a condom. Rolling the rubber over his erect cock, he positions himself at the foot of the bed, between your legs.
"Can I fuck you baby?" He asks in a low whisper.
"Fuck yes Yeonjun, hurry please." You whine, legs spread wide for him.
He brushes the tip of his dick against your entrance, drawing moans of anticipation from you, before hovering his body over yours. His face is inches above you, staring at you with a sinful expression, both his palms are flat against the bed on either side of your face, holding his body up.
"Beg for this dick princess." He demands. "Tell me how much you want it."
"Yeonjun," you plead, "I want you to fuck me. I need to feel your dick in my pussy, please."
A switch turns in his head, and Yeonjun finally enters you. He gives a few slow thrusts, adjusting to your size, before quickly accelerating his pace. Sweat drips from his body as he rapidly pounds into you, tears forming at your eyes at the feeling of complete euphoria.
The knot in your stomach is growing and you feel you high approaching soon. You feel Yeonjun’s thrusts becoming rushed and sloppy, as he's about to come undone as well.
"Princess, are you close?" He asks, forehead pressed to yours.
"Y-yes, keep going, I'm gonna come." You mumble through the pleasure.
Yeonjunspeeds up his pace, thrusting even deeper into you. "Look at me when you come."
Just as you turn you head to meet his gaze, your whole body is enveloped in bliss. You see stars as he fucks you through your orgasm, your body jerking in response to his movements.
His orgasm comes not long after, his eyelids fluttering as he incoherently mutters a slew of curse words before collapsing next to you.
You both lay in silence for a few minutes, chests rising steadily in synchronization. Yeonjun leaves to get a towel for you, returning to clean you up. You thank him as he mumbles a "you're welcome" before drifting to sleep with you in his arms. You giggle at how adorable he looks, face snuggled against your neck as he slept. You glance at the clock on the wall and see that it quite late already, and that you should probably head home.
You attempt to slide your body out of his grasp, but your faintest movement causes Yeonjun to tighten his grip around you.
The room is completely silent. You're not sure if you imagined it or not, but as you tried to leave, you think you hear Yeonjun whisper’s a faint "stay."
In this moment, you wanted nothing more than to melt into his embrace and and wake up to him next to you. But you knew yourself better than that. You knew what kinds of actions would cause you to catch feelings, and you needed to avoid them at all costs. So instead, you pull away from his hold and make your way to the door.
Before you exit, you turn to sneak one last look at Yeonjun, sleeping peacefully on his bed. His hair is messy, and his cheeks are blush red. Even in this disheveled state, he looked like a dream to you. You wished you could have him, to fall in love and be happy together. But wishing only leads to disappointment, and to save your own heart, he could never be yours.
The early morning sun casts a beam of light through the window, landing on Yeonjun’s sleeping figure and waking him up. He groggily opens his eyes but quickly shuts them due to the brightness. With a groan he rolls over, only to find an empty bed.
That's right, you had left him last night. After your drunken conversations, passionate sex, and him asking you to stay..you still left. Yeonjun is disappointed to say the least. He had genuinely enjoyed having dinner with you, sex or not. It was so easy to talk about anything and everything with you, and for some reason, you made him feel comfortable to share his honest thoughts and feelings. You even showed sincere interest in his art, while most usually get bored.
He knows that you're just friends, but He cares about you too. He's concerned when you show up to practices looking drained and sleepy. He wishes he could comfort you when he sees your eyebrows furrow in worry as you struggle to memorize your lines. After you admitted that you've gotten your heart broken before, he curses the guy who hurt you and wants protect you from ever getting hurt again. All he wants is to hold you in his arms and whisper sweet nothings in your ear.
But you didn't want to stay. In fact, you pushed him away when he tried to hold your tighter. Maybe you didn't hear him ask you to stay, but it hurts him regardless.
Soobin has warned Yeonjun time and time again about falling too quickly. He knows that Yeonjun is the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, and his romanticism of love could easily end up hurting him if he fell for the wrong person. He knows this too, but he just can't help it. Yes, you very well could be using him for his body, but then why did you talk with him for hours before things even got sexual? Surely you weren't faking your enthusiasm in your conversations just to get in his pants.
His thoughts were spiralling out of control, so he walks over to the bathroom to splash some water on his face and snap himself out of it. He stares at himself in the mirror, noticing his tangled hair from where your hands grabbed it, and bruised lips from your shared kisses last night. His stomach flips thinking about it.
Yeonjun knows his flaws when it comes to love. But this time, he's determined to keep his cool, be patient, and just have fun. As long as he can keep himself from falling too quickly, it'll all work out.
You wake up to a mass of text notifications blowing up your phone. You're annoyed at the relentless dinging sounds that interrupted your sleep, but you're even more bitter that you woke up alone in your own bed instead of Yeonjun’s this morning. Of course, this was your decision, and though it would've been heavenly to spend the night in his arms, you're glad that you stuck to your guns and cut off any unnecessary affection with him.
Lazily, you unlock your phone and read your messages.
Yunjin: Good morning sunshine!!!! Hope I didn't interrupt your beauty sleep 😘
You sigh, she did interrupt your beauty sleep.
Yunjin: I just got the details to our listening party and had to send it over to you right away!!
Yunjin: The party is this Saturday night at 10pm in the hotel right next to the HYBE building
Yunjin: You HAVE to come okay?? Promise meee, I really want you there!!
Yunjin: Oh and wear something sexy, your boy will be there too 😉😉
You can almost hear how loud Yunjin’s voice is through your phone, but you chuckle at how energetic she is so early in the morning. You replied to her messages, promising that you'll be there. It's been a while since you dressed up to go to a party, and you're excited to celebrate with your friends. A small part of you is also excited to see Yeonjun there as well. Would he wear a suit? He would look great in a suit. He looks great in anything, though. You'd have to make sure you look great as well. Giddy from your excitement over the party, you can't wait for the week to end.
As you rolled up to the party, you recognize familiar faces of other artists you've met in the industry. Everyone was dressed to the tens in lavish designer suits and gowns, enjoying tall glasses of champagne and hors d’oeuvres. Sparkling chandeliers hung from the ceiling, illuminating the dark room with a soft, warm light. Many people lounged on the velvet couches, chatting with their friends, while others stood by the bar. After exchanging a few polite, "hello's" and "how have you been's" you make your way to the center of the venue, finding Yunjin enthusiastically greeting all of the guests.
"Y/N, you made it!" She pulls you into a big hug.
"Of course I did! I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Congratulations on your new album!"
"Thank you so much!" Yunjin smiles at you. "Please, grab some food and drinks. Enjoy yourself!" She grabs your hand, guiding you to one of the couches.
You grab a glass of champagne and chug it. After setting the glass down, you lift your head to see yeonjun standing a mere 5 feet away. You smile and wave at him to get his attention, but notice that he is preoccupied, chatting with a petite blonde girl stood right in front of him. Your gaze drops and you see his arm around her waist, hands clutching the material of her dress. She was laughing excessively at something he said, and you couldn't help but scoff at how obviously she wanted him.
Yeonjun knew you were staring. That's why he proceeded to bend down and whisper into the girl's ear. After he saw you, he just couldn't control his actions. He wanted to know if it bothered you. Yeonjun knows it's wrong to flirt with another girl just to make you jealous, but you started it. How dare you come dressed like pure sex in such a revealing gown and not come talk to him first. He should be the only one to get to touch you.
When he glanced over to your direction to check if you were still watching him, he realized you were gone. Panicked, he starts scanning the crowd for you, and his gaze stops at the bar. You were leaning against a high table, one arm resting on the surface and the other reaching out in front of you. What were you reaching for? An arm, a man's arm. You squeezed the arm of a man standing with you at the bar. A smile on your face as you looked up at him, your hand traveling up to rest on his chest. His hand went to the small of your back, fingers grazing your bare skin.
Yeonjun couldn't take it anymore. He left the blonde girl without a word and made his way over to you. You were giggling at something the man had said and yeonjun couldn't hide his look of disgust. As he approached you, he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you towards him, effectively cutting off your contact with the man in front of you, forcing him to let go of his hand on your back.
"Hey," Yeonjun said with a smile. His body was pressed perpendicular to yours, facing only you and completely ignoring the man standing on the side. "I've been wanting to talk to you all night. You look stunning." You could smell Yeonjun’s cologne from how close he was holding you, butterflies erupting in your stomach from having his attention fully on you.
The man you were talking to slowly backed away looking scared, and you feel bad for how Yeonjun rudely dismissed him.
"Yeonjun, you're being rude. I was talking to someone." You turn to face him, your back resting against the bar.
Yeonjun let's go of you and puts his hands in his pockets, looking at the ground. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to talk to you all night but you were always busy with someone else." He mumbled.
You want to scream at how adorable he looks, pouting as he apologises to you. But you were still annoyed that he cockblocked you while he was flirting with other girls just a few minutes ago.
"You looked busy just a few minutes ago. Didn't even notice me with your hands full of that blonde chick." You tried not to sound annoyed.
Yeonjun steps back, arms crossed. "Well I wouldn't have been busy with her if you would've taken a minute to say hi to me instead of cuddling with that guy all night."
Yeonjun frowns. He knows he shouldn't be angry at you. But You were wrapped up in another man's arms. You even let him touch your skin, your bare skin. Yeonjun couldn't stand the thought of another man touching you so intimately.
"I wasn't cuddling with him, we were just...talking." You had your arms crossed now too.
"Do you just let anyone touch you like that?" He couldn't control the words falling out of his mouth.
"Excuse me, but I think I'm old enough to make that decision for myself. If I want to let someone touch me, then I will." You huff.
Yeonjun was being a complete hypocrite right now. Who was he to lecture you about other men? It's not like you guys were together.
"Were you gonna sleep with him or something?" He looks at you with a glare.
Why did you feel like you did something wrong? He was obviously upset at you, but you can't understand why.
"No...I don't know. Maybe. It doesn't matter now anyways since you scared him away." You glare back at him. "Why do you even care? Weren't you planning to take that blonde girl home?"
Yeonjun sighs, "We were just talking. I didn't come here looking to hook up with girls anyway."
"Well you're not gonna get to bring any girls home if you're talking with me all night." You roll your eyes at him.
Yeonjun looks up at you, placing a hand on the table you're leaning against, pressing his body closer to yours. He pauses to gauge your reaction before asking, "What if you're the girl I want to take home?"
Your face blushes red at his question. He wants you out of everybody here? "You want to take me home?" You bite your lip, gazing up at him with expectant eyes.
"I couldn't stop thinking about you all night, not after I saw you walk in looking like this." He breathes against your cheek.
"D-do you like it? My dress?" You feel his eyes gawking at your figure.
"I love it. You, your dress, everything." He places a hand on your waist, and you can feel the warmth of his touch through the thin material of your gown. "But I'd love to see what's underneath." He whispers in a low growl. "So can I take you home baby?"
You shouldn't go home with him. Sleeping with him should've been a one time thing. You both were already being petty tonight, trying to make each other jealous. Things could get messy if you continue to see him like this, but you don't care. Not when he's looking at you with dark eyes glowing with desire, studying your figure, watching your chest rise and fall in anticipation of your answer.
The air feels thick with yeonjun standing this close to you. You feel drunk off his presence and can't control your actions around him. Against your better judgement, you snake your arms around his neck and pull him close, whispering in his ear, "let's go."
The early morning sun casts a beam of light through the window, landing on Yeonjun’s sleeping figure and waking him up. He groggily opens his eyes but quickly shuts them due to the brightness. With a groan he rolls over, only to find an empty bed.
That's right, you had left him last night. After your drunken conversations, passionate sex, and him asking you to stay..you still left. Yeonjun is disappointed to say the least. He had genuinely enjoyed having dinner with you, sex or not. It was so easy to talk about anything and everything with you, and for some reason, you made him feel comfortable to share his honest thoughts and feelings. You even showed sincere interest in his art, while most usually get bored.
He knows that you're just friends, but He cares about you too. He's concerned when you show up to practices looking drained and sleepy. He wishes he could comfort you when he sees your eyebrows furrow in worry as you struggle to memorise your lines. After you admitted that you've gotten your heart broken before, he curses the guy who hurt you and wants protect you from ever getting hurt again. All he wants is to hold you in his arms and whisper sweet nothings in your ear.
But you didn't want to stay. In fact, you pushed him away when he tried to hold your tighter. Maybe you didn't hear him ask you to stay, but it hurts him regardless.
Soobin has warned Yeonjun time and time again about falling too quickly. He knows that Yeonjun is the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, and his romanticism of love could easily end up hurting him if he fell for the wrong person. He knows this too, but he just can't help it. Yes, you very well could be using him for his body, but then why did you talk with him for hours before things even got sexual? Surely you weren't faking your enthusiasm in your conversations just to get in his pants.
Yeonjun’s thoughts are spiraling out of control, so he walks over to the bathroom to splash some water on his face and snap himself out of it. He stares at himself in the mirror, noticing his tangled hair from where your hands grabbed it, and bruised lips from your shared kisses last night. His stomach flips thinking about it.
Yeonjun knows his flaws when it comes to love. But this time, he's determined to keep his cool, be patient, and just have fun. As long as he can keep himself from falling too quickly, it'll all work out.
You wake up to a mass of text notifications blowing up your phone. You're annoyed at the relentless dinging sounds that interrupted your sleep, but you're even more bitter that you woke up alone in your own bed instead of Yeonjun’s this morning. Of course, this was your decision, and though it would've been heavenly to spend the night in his arms, you're glad that you stuck to your guns and cut off any unnecessary affection with him.
Lazily, you unlock your phone and read your messages.
Yunjin: Good morning sunshine!!!! Hope I didn't interrupt your beauty sleep 😘
You sigh, she did interrupt your beauty sleep.
Yunjin: I just got the details to our listening party and had to send it over to you right away!!
Yunjin: The party is this Saturday night at 10pm in the hotel right next to the HYBE building
Yunjin: You HAVE to come okay?? Promise meee, I really want you there!!
Yunjin: Oh and wear something sexy, your boy will be there too 😉😉
You can almost hear how loud Yunjin’s voice is through your phone, but you chuckle at how energetic she is so early in the morning. You replied to her messages, promising that you'll be there. It's been a while since you dressed up to go to a party, and you're excited to celebrate with your friends. A small part of you is also excited to see Yeonjun there as well. Would he wear a suit? He would look great in a suit. He looks great in anything, though. You'd have to make sure you look great as well. Giddy from your excitement over the party, you can't wait for the week to end.
As you rolled up to the party, you recognize familiar faces of other artists you've met in the industry. Everyone was dressed to the tens in lavish designer suits and gowns, enjoying tall glasses of champagne and hors d'oeurves. Sparkling chandeliers hung from the ceiling, illuminating the dark room with a soft, warm light. Many people lounged on the velvet couches, chatting with their friends, while others stood by the bar. After exchanging a few polite, "hello's" and "how have you been's" you make your way to the center of the venue, finding Yunjin enthusiastically greeting all of the guests.
"Y/N, you made it!" She pulls you into a big hug.
"Of course I did! I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Congratulations on your new album!"
"Thank you so much!" Yunjin smiles at you. "Please, grab some food and drinks. Enjoy yourself!" She grabs your hand, guiding you to one of the couches.
You grab a glass of champagne and chug it. After setting the glass down, you lift your head to see yeonjun standing a mere 5 feet away. You smile and wave at him to get his attention, but notice that he is preoccupied, chatting with a petite blonde girl stood right in front of him. Your gaze drops and you see his arm around her waist, hands clutching the material of her dress. She was laughing excessively at something he said, and you couldn't help but scoff at how obviously she wanted him.
Yeonjun knew you were staring. That's why he proceeded to bend down and whisper into the girl's ear. After he saw you, he just couldn't control his actions. He wanted to know if it bothered you. Yeonjun knows it's wrong to flirt with another girl just to make you jealous, but you started it. How dare you come dressed like pure sex in such a revealing gown and not come talk to him first. He should be the only one to get to touch you.
When he glanced over to your direction to check if you were still watching him, he realized you were gone. Panicked, he starts scanning the crowd for you, and his gaze stops at the bar. You were leaning against a high table, one arm resting on the surface and the other reaching out in front of you. What were you reaching for? An arm, a man's arm. You squeezed the arm of a man standing with you at the bar. A smile on your face as you looked up at him, your hand traveling up to rest on his chest. His hand went to the small of your back, fingers grazing your bare skin.
Yeonjun couldn't take it anymore. He left the blonde girl without a word and made his way over to you. You were giggling at something the man had said and yeonjun couldn't hide his look of disgust. As he approached you, he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you towards him, effectively cutting off your contact with the man in front of you, forcing him to let go of his hand on your back.
"Hey," Yeonjun said with a smile. His body was pressed perpendicular to yours, facing only you and completely ignoring the man standing on the side. "I've been wanting to talk to you all night. You look stunning." You could smell Yeonjun’s cologne from how close he was holding you, butterflies erupting in your stomach from having his attention fully on you.
The man you were talking to slowly backed away looking scared, and you feel bad for how Yeonjun rudely dismissed him.
"Yeonjun, you're being rude. I was talking to someone." You turn to face him, your back resting against the bar.
Yeonjun let's go of you and puts his hands in his pockets, looking at the ground. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to talk to you all night but you were always busy with someone else." He mumbled.
You want to scream at how adorable he looks, pouting as he apologizes to you. But you were still annoyed that he cockblocked you while he was flirting with other girls just a few minutes ago.
"You looked busy just a few minutes ago. Didn't even notice me with your hands full of that blonde chick." You tried not to sound annoyed.
Yeonjun steps back, arms crossed. "Well I wouldn't have been busy with her if you would've taken a minute to say hi to me instead of cuddling with that guy all night."
Yeonjun frowns. He knows he shouldn't be angry at you. But You were wrapped up in another man's arms. You even let him touch your skin, your bare skin. Yeonjun couldn't stand the thought of another man touching you so intimately.
"I wasn't cuddling with him, we were just...talking." You had your arms crossed now too.
"Do you just let anyone touch you like that?" He couldn't control the words falling out of his mouth.
"Excuse me, but I think I'm old enough to make that decision for myself. If I want to let someone touch me, then I will." You huff.
Yeonjun was being a complete hypocrite right now. Who was he to lecture you about other men? It's not like you guys were together.
"Were you gonna sleep with him or something?" He looks at you with a glare.
Why did you feel like you did something wrong? He was obviously upset at you, but you can't understand why.
"No...I don't know. Maybe. It doesn't matter now anyways since you scared him away." You glare back at him. "Why do you even care? Weren't you planning to take that blonde girl home?"
Yeonjun sighs, "We were just talking. I didn't come here looking to hook up with girls anyway."
"Well you're not gonna get to bring any girls home if you're talking with me all night." You roll your eyes at him.
Yeonjun looks up at you, placing a hand on the table you're leaning against, pressing his body closer to yours. He pauses to gauge your reaction before asking, "What if you're the girl I want to take home?"
Your face blushes red at his question. He wants you out of everybody here? "You want to take me home?" You bite your lip, gazing up at him with expectant eyes.
"I couldn't stop thinking about you all night, not after I saw you walk in looking like this." He breathes against your cheek.
"D-do you like it? My dress?" You feel his eyes gawking at your figure.
"I love it. You, your dress, everything." He places a hand on your waist, and you can feel the warmth of his touch through the thin material of your gown. "But I'd love to see what's underneath." He whispers in a low growl. "So can I take you home baby?"
You shouldn't go home with him. Sleeping with him should've been a one time thing. You both were already being petty tonight, trying to make each other jealous. Things could get messy if you continue to see him like this, but you don't care. Not when he's looking at you with dark eyes glowing with desire, studying your figure, watching your chest rise and fall in anticipation of your answer.
The air feels thick with yeonjun standing this close to you. You feel drunk off his presence and can't control your actions around him. Against your better judgement, you snake your arms around his neck and pull him close, whispering in his ear, "let's go."
Ever since that conversation, you and Yeonjun started spending time together regularly. Whenever either one of you were bored, you'd plan a movie night. Whenever you needed a buddy to go grocery shopping, he'd tag along. If he needed to decide which paint to use for his artwork, you'd come over to help him pick.
Usually these hangouts would start as booty calls, one of you shooting the other a text if you were feeling horny. Then you'd stick around and maybe do an activity together if you were still free. Recently though, you found yourself hitting him up just because you felt like seeing him. Sometimes you'd spend the whole day together without having sex at all. Whenever that happened, you couldn't help but wonder if Yeonjun was disappointed, but he never voiced any complaints. You'd always sneak a glance over to him while you lounged around his dorm watching and movie or painting or cooking together. He always looked content, sometimes catching your eyes and shooting you a smile, so you decide not to worry about it.
"Off to see Yeonjun again?" Mia asked with a knowing look on her face. You almost didn't notice her laying on the couch as you made your way to the door to leave.
"Um, yeah." You hesitantly answer. For some reason, you felt like she had caught you sneaking out, even though you are free to go and hang out with whoever you wanted.
"Isn't this like, the third time this week?" She shifted in her seat so that she was now sitting upright and facing you.
"Maybe, I dunno. Why does it matter?" Her questioning started to make you feel defensive.
"Damn, are you sexually frustrated or something? You guys are really going at it a lot lately." Mia smirks.
"Shut up, we don't always have sex." You roll your eyes.
"Oh? What else are you doing over there then?"
"Watch movies, or skate together...whatever we feel like doing." You cross your arms.
"And you feel like having quality time with Yeonjun this often?"
"And you guys are friends with benefits still?"
"No commitment, no strings attached."
"No romantic feelings whatsoever?"
You let out a sigh. Honestly, why is she grilling you so hard about him? You don't really owe her any explanations. "Why does this matter to you?"
"It matters because I know you, Y/N. You don't do 'no strings attached.' This whole 'fuck buddy' situation is not you. I'm worried it's going to end up hurting you again. Don't you remember how devastated you were after Jaehy-"
"Don't." You cut her off before she goes any further. "Don't bring that up again. It's in the past and I've changed now. I know I used to catch feelings for any guy who gave me the least bit of affection, but I've learned my lesson I promise."
You approach the couch and take a seat next to Mia. "I appreciate you looking out for me, but I'm not the foolish girl I was before. Me and Yeonjun are just friends. We made that very clear."
Mia still looks concerned, obviously not convinced by your rebuttal. "I just feel like the nature of your friendship isn't...typical."
"Friends don't have sex with each other, Y/N."
"That's why we're friends with benefits."
"But friends with benefits don't spend quality time together like you guys do either. They just fuck and leave."
What's wrong with hanging out with Yeonjun? I still like him as a person, he's not just an object to me."
"I'm not saying you have to treat him like an object, I'm just saying that you guys kind of act like...I don't know, a couple?"
You pause for a moment, taken aback by her accusation. Why was it so difficult for her to grasp that you and yeonjun are genuine friends who just happen to satisfy each others' sexual needs once in a while? Just because you are sleeping with him doesn't mean you can't also enjoy his company. And just because you like spending time together, it doesn't make you a couple. You're tired of people pitying you and looking at you like a fragile girl who can't protect her own feelings.
"We aren't a couple. Yeonjun and I are both single. We aren't tied down to each other like that. He can fuck whoever he wants and so can I." You firmly state.
Mia is visibly surprised by your firmness, and reluctantly backs down. "You know I just don't want to see you hurt, Y/N. But if you are confident in what you're doing, then I trust you."
You breathe a sigh of relief.
"I'm sorry I accused you of having feelings for him, I didn't know you were comfortable with him seeing other people."
You give her a tight-lipped smile. Truthfully, you hadn't thought about if Yeonjun was seeing other people, and you didn't want to start now. You were together so often that you don't think he would have time to date anyone else, but who knows what he's up to on his days off? There's no point in you pondering this subject anyways because it's really none of your business. Yet, the feeling of not knowing did put you slightly on edge. You quickly brush off this feeling and get up from the couch, continuing on your way out the door.
Your confrontation with Mia had left you feeling uneasy, despite her relenting to you in the end. You know you shouldn't read too deeply into what others think, but sometimes you can't help yourself. Do you and yeonjun really act like a couple? Is it not normal to want to be around him this much? Is he seeing other girls? Trying to shake these thoughts out of your head, you finally make it to his dorm. After receiving your text to let him know you're here, Yeonjun opens the door for you.
You immediately wrap your arms around his waist, burying your face in his chest and taking in a deep breath, his familiar scent instantly calming you. Yeonjun is startled by your sudden show of affection, worried that something had happened to you.
"Is everything okay?" He gently whispers as he places a hand on your head, softly patting your hair.
"I'm okay, I just need...to clear my mind." You mumble into his chest.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
You finally look up to him. His eyebrows are furrowed in worry and his lips in a slight frown. You're appreciative that he cares enough to be concerned about you, but you don't want to burden him with your emotions.
"Not really." You respond. "I think I just need some fresh air."
"Then let's go." Yeonjun pulls your arms out from around him and interlocks his fingers in yours, leading you out the door.
"Where are we going?" You follow behind him in the darkness. It's past midnight and most restaurants and shops are closed by now.
"We're getting you some fresh air." Yeonjun looks back at you with a grin.
Soon enough, you arrive at the edge of a river. There's a dirt path circling the body of water with an occasional streetlight illuminating the trail. You can see the city lights in the distance, reflecting off the tiny waves in the water. No else is here but you two, and he leads you to a wooden bench on the side of the road before parting from you.
"Hey, where are you going?" You question him as he leaves.
"Don't worry, I'll be right back. Just stay here!" He jogs away, leaving you waiting on the bench. After a few minutes, he returns with two bicycles, guiding one in each hand.
"Where did you get these?" You ask as he hands one over to you.
"I rented them from the stop over there. We just have to return them once we're done!" He smiles brightly. "You said you always wanted to go biking along the Han River, right? What better way to get some fresh air than a midnight bike ride?"
You beam in excitement, mounting your bike as he climbs onto his. This was the perfect way to clear your mind, riding your bike in bliss as Yeonjun followed behind. The crisp air filled your lungs as you rode, cool wind brushing against your face. It wasn't so often that you had an opportunity to forget all your worries and just live in the moment, away from all the lights and cameras, living freely and being yourself. Yeonjun was able to do that for you and you are eternally grateful.
When your legs started growing tired from pedaling, you stopped at a hill and parked your bikes. Yeonjun plopped down on the soft grass, hands beneath his head. You joined him, giggling as you lay spread out next to him. For a few minutes you both lay in silence, clouds of steam forming from your warm breaths against the cold night air, the sound of flowing water surrounding you.
"Do you feel better?" Yeonjun tilts his face towards you.
You stare up at the stars. "Yeah, I feel...peaceful. Thank you for doing this."
"I'm glad I could help. You looked really stressed back there and I wanted to cheer you up." He smiles.
You smile back at him. "You really did. I've always wanted to do this and I finally did. It was so fun!"
"Good. I always want to see you happy."
"Me too. I always want to see you happy too."
"I'm always happy when I'm with you."
Yeonjun’s eyes meets yours. He looks at you with a soft and sincere expression, like he's trying to convey his thoughts through his gaze, but he can't find the words. Instead, you both just enjoy each others' presence, not needing to speak.
Finally, you decide to open up to him. Yeonjun went out of his way to comfort you, so he deserved to know a little bit of what you'd been feeling.
"So, the reason I was stressed earlier was because I kind of got into an argument with Mia." You explain.
Yeonjun turns his body towards you, propping his head up with his arm to give you his full attention.
"She thinks I'm some delicate little girl, like I'm not strong enough to handle my own emotions."
"Why does she think that?"
"It's because of stuff that happened in the past. I was stupid back then and always fell too hard for guys who didn't feel the same about me. I ended up getting my heart broken a lot and she would always help pick up the pieces."
"I'm sorry you had to go through that." He said in a soft tone.
"It's okay. Honestly I'm glad it happened. I get why she's concerned for me, but I've grown and changed now. I'm not going to open my heart up to someone so easily anymore."
He studies your face with a curious look. "It sucks that you've gotten your heart broken before, but I hope you haven't given up on love."
"I don't think I'll ever give up on love. I just have a hard time choosing the right guys." You chuckle.
Yeonjun laughs and rolls onto his back, looking up at the sky. "It might be easier than you think."
Again you both fall silent, admiring the view of the night sky. You think about Yeonjun’s words, indeed you wish falling in love would be easy. Maybe you've just been unlucky. Maybe you should let down some of your walls. Yeonjun makes it so easy for you to open up, everything is easy with him. You wish it was him that you could fall in love with.
But you can't. Every time you come close to feeling love, your brain shuts down, your mind rejects it. The easier things feel, the more scared you get. Scared that the moment you make yourself vulnerable to him is the moment you give him the power to hurt you. You can't let that happen again, you just can't.
As you tumble into a a disarray of thoughts, Yeonjun reaches over and places a soft kiss on your lips. Suddenly, your clouded head is cleared, your worries leave your mind and your body relaxes at his touch.
"It's getting late, are you ready to go?" Yeonjun caresses your cheek as you look up at him.
"I don't want to go." You mumble.
"But it's too cold to stay longer, we need to get home."
You always blush when he calls you that. No matter how much of a barrier you try to build between him and you, he always knocks it down with the simplest of words. Yeonjun takes your hand and pulls you to your feet. As you walk back to his dorm, he holds your hand in the warmth of his pocket.
"Are you sleepy?" Yeonjun crawls into bed with you. After arriving at his dorm, you both washed up and he gave you a comfy T-shirt to wear to sleep.
"I don't want to sleep yet." You whine.
"Do you want to watch a movie then?"
"Then what do you want to do?"
"You." You bit your lip and looked at him through your eyelashes.
This whole night has got you feeling dazed and confused being around yeonjun. You couldn't understand the conflicted feelings you were experiencing, and you thought maybe you could take your mind off things by doing what you knew best and were comfortable with—having sex with yeonjun.
You cradle his face in your hands and pull him in for a kiss. Your lips move slowly together, tongue roaming leisurely in his mouth, brushing against his. His hands drop to you waist, pulling you into his embrace, and soon enough you feel him getting hard.
Grinning at the feeling of his arousal, you attempt to get on top of him, ready to ride him hard until you both finish, like you always do. But just as you shift your body, he places a firm hand on yours, pinning you on the bed below him. He laces his fingers with yours, his body hovering over you as he gazed at you with hooded eyes.
"Let's take it slow baby, no need to rush." He places two fingers in his mouth, tongue swirling around them before lowering them to your core. After sliding your panties off, he rubs his wet digits against your clit in a circling motion as you squirm under him.
"C'mon Yeonjun, let me ride you." You whine.
Yeonjun chuckles at your neediness. "Let me take care of you tonight, princess."
He takes off his boxers to reveal his bulging erection, positioning himself at your entrance and rubbing his tip against your folds before finally slipping in. You both moan at the feeling of him pushing inside of you, and he starts moving at a steady pace while you swing your arms around his neck.
Unlike before, Yeonjun is so gentle as he slides in and out of you. You're used to him choking you, thrusting vigorously into you, overstimulating you until you can't take it anymore. But tonight, his hands stay intertwined in yours. He handles you with such tenderness, as if you'll break with one false move. The fiery hunger that's usually in his eyes is now replaced with an adoring gaze. Everything around you is glowing, and your vision turns fuzzy as you approach your high. Time is moving in slow motion as you reach your orgasm, and you savor every second in his embrace.
As you finish, Yeonjun picks up the pace and cums soon after. He drops to your side, cradling you in his arms. Lifting your chin, he kisses you once again, slowly and softly for what felt like hours. You felt absolute bliss, warmth enveloping your whole body as he kissed you. When you released your lips, your eyes stayed fixed on his, and you continued gazing at each other in silence. Finally you both drift to sleep, not needing to say another word.
As always, you were the first one awake. You had a schedule to attend early that morning, so you went ahead and got up as quietly as you could, not wanting to wake Yeonjun up. As you got dressed and ready to leave, you sit by the edge of the bed, watching him as he slept. You always admired how adorable he was while he was sleeping, how gentle and innocent he looked. He was just as gentle inside as he appeared outside as well, you knew this, especially after how sweetly he treated you last night.
You like him, you liked everything about him, and you trusted him too. He's always made you feel safe, he always knows how to comfort you, and you can't help but think that maybe...maybe falling for him wouldn't be so bad. Of course, you'd need to know if he feels the same about you. Maybe you will ask him one day.
Your stomach bubbled with elation at prospect of being with Yeonjun. You try to hush the excitement in your heart, telling yourself not to fantasize too much. You place a soft kiss on his forehead before heading out, feeling lighter after your night together.
As you happily stroll to your company building, you open your phone to check your notifications. There were a few messages from your manager reminding you what time to get to dance rehearsal, some from Mia checking on you after your conversation last night, and a trending news article that just popped up.
Curious to see what this breaking news was, you open the article and are met with a bold headline that made you freeze in your tracks.
"[BREAKING] TXT’s Yeonjun rumoured to be dating Aespa's Karina"
And just like that, the walls you thought were breaking down around you came right back up.
Frozen in the middle of the sidewalk, you re-read the headline pasted across your screen.
"[BREAKING] TXT’s Yeonjun rumored to be dating Aespa's Karina"
Your mind goes blank as you stare at the words, taking several moments for you to fully process what they meant. When it finally hits you, your whole body feels...numb. You're surprised how little you feel. Maybe all your mental barriers worked, and faking it until you make it actually paid off. You did it, you successfully prevented yourself from falling for Yeonjun—but why did your victory feel so empty?
Everything played out they way you wanted it to, but achieving your goal was somehow anticlimactic. You thought you'd be more proud of yourself, happy that you mastered your control over your emotions. What you didn't expect though, was for 'mastering' your emotions to feel like not having any emotions at all. You're somewhat disappointed with this realization, unsatisfied with the outcome. Still, it was better than feeling like a fool and getting your heart broken again.
You continue towards your company building, entering the dance studio for your rehearsal. As you walked into the room, you notice your group mates hesitantly greet you with concerned faces, clearly they had heard the news and didn't know what to expect from your reaction today. You shrug off the awkward tension and proceed to run through rehearsals like normal, your members gradually shedding their tentative behavior after seeing you in good spirits. After your rehearsal finished, Mia asked if you wanted to grab lunch with her, to which you agreed.
"So how are you? I didn't hear from you last night." She asked as you both sat at the restaurant table awaiting your food.
"Sorry, I fell asleep before checking my phone. I'm good though, don't worry about it."
"Did you see the article about Yeonjun?" Mia was never one to shy around any topic.
You straighten up in your chair. "Yeah, I did actually. What about it?"
She looks at you with one eyebrow arched. "Damn, you weren't kidding when you said you didn't care if he was seeing other girls."
"Yup, it doesn't bother me." You start to fidget in your seat.
"Even if the girl is Karina?"
Your stomach slightly turns at the mention of her name.
"The same girl who you caught with Jaehyun?"
"I know who Karina is." You snap. At this point, you feel your blood start to boil. You've had enough of this conversation. You get it, Yeonjun is dating another girl. Another girl who happens to be the same girl who was sleeping with the guy you fell for in the past. God, why did it have to be her of all people? I mean, she is talented, kind, and not to mention, drop dead gorgeous. Maybe that's why all the guys go for her, because she's the ideal girl. She has everything you lack, she is the type of girl that guys want to date, make their girlfriend, fall in love with—something you'll never be.
Mia opens her mouth to reply, but stops halfway and just sighs instead. "Right, I know you know who she is. I'm just, surprised you're handling this so well." She cracks a smile at you. "I'm proud of you! You've always been so strong, leading our team since we were trainees and dealing with your personal issues at the same time. I've always looked up to you for that.”
As you process her words, the air starts to leave your lungs. Your chest feels tight and you have an uncomfortable pit in your stomach. Mia was giving you kind words but you hated it. Every compliment she voiced was like a punch in the gut. Your body was physically rejecting her words because they weren't true.
It was a lie. You weren't handling this well at all. Just because you hadn't expressed your emotions didn't mean they weren't there. They were there, you just tricked yourself into thinking that they weren't. You bottled them so deeply inside you that you fooled yourself into believing that they didn't exist. Some say that ignorance is bliss, and unfortunately for you, you couldn't feign ignorance any longer. Mia was saying were lies. You aren't strong. You're weak. So weak that you couldn't even confront your true feelings. So weak that you once again fell for a man who didn't want you. So weak that you are crumbling at the thought of him with another woman.
Tears start welling up in your eyes as you come to this realization. Mia was startled by your sudden teariness and gently takes your hands. You're trembling as she holds them between her own.
"Hey, what's going on? Did I say something wrong?"
"Yeah, everything. Everything you said about me is wrong. I'm fucking pathetic." You sigh.
"Shut up, you're not pathetic. You're amazing Y/N. If my leader is pathetic then what does that make me?"
"But I'm not strong, Mia. Just look at me, crying over a boy again." You wipe your tears in frustration.
"Crying doesn't make you weak. Acting like you don't care when you actually do makes you weak. You are strong, Y/N. You're strong for loving hard, and you're strong for always standing back up after getting knocked down."
You flash her a feeble smile. Mia always knew how to cheer you up, that's why you trusted her so much. "How many times is it gonna take for me to learn not to fall for the wrong guys?" You groan.
"It does matter how many, because you will pick yourself up and get over them every time. Starting now, with Yeonjun." Mia huffed.
"But he was like, the perfect guy. How am I supposed go get over him?" You pout.
"By moving on to the next perfect guy! C'mon, you said the same thing after Jaehyun broke your heart. I feel like I'm having deja vu." Mia rolled her eyes. "The reason you think these guys are so perfect is because you haven't experimented enough with other guys. You don't even know what else is out there!"
She did have a point. Up until now, you've only been with a handful of guys, and never dated more than one guy at a time.
"Why don't you hit up someone you know? It doesn't even have to be romantic. Just hang out with your guy friends more so you don't get all googly-eyed at every dude who gives you some attention." Mia smirks.
You cross your arms and frown. "I do not get googly-eyed...but I guess that's not a bad idea. It could at least take my mind off Yeonjun if I hang out with some other friends."
"Exactly! I'm a genius. You're welcome for the expert advice." She gives you a triumphant smile.
"Yeah, yeah, thanks I guess." You mumble.
Once you both made your way back to your dorm, you plop down in bed, scrolling through your list of contacts. Who should you hit up to take your mind of off Yeonjun? You start regretting spending all your time with him instead of putting effort into your other friendships.
When you come across the name of an old friend you haven't seen in a while, your fingers hover over the message button. Mark Lee. He actually used to be your closest guy friend back in the day. You'd see him from time to time whenever you came over to Jaehyun's place, and needless to say, you both got along like two peas in a pod. Mark was like the brother you never had, outgoing and silly but also caring. The both of you shared countless inside jokes and he never failed to make you laugh. You loved him in a platonic sense, but unfortunately had cut him out of your life when you cut ties with Jaehyun.
You feel sorry for ending your friendship with Mark so abruptly, especially since he wasn't the one at fault. You truly did miss him, so you decide to send him a message in an attempt to rekindle your friendship.
Me: hey Mork, how have ya been? 😊
You used your old nickname for him, beaming at the fond memories. To your relief, he responds equally as affectionately soon after.
Mark: hey crybaby, long time no see!
How ironic for that to be your nickname.
Me: it really has been a while, I was wondering if you were down to hang out and catch up sometime 👉👈
Mark: I thought you'd never ask, I'm free tonight if you are! We can meet at our usual spot.
You reminisce about all your fun times with Mark at the local 7/11. The two of you would visit there on late nights to stock up on snacks whenever you got cravings. His favorite was the instant curry udon, while you always went for classic spicy ramen. You'd dispense hot water into your bowls and eat them at a small table on the side of the building, cracking jokes the whole time and just enjoying life.
Me: see you at 10 🫡 be there or be square...
Mark: no one wants to be a square 🫡
With that, you put down your phone and head to the bathroom to freshen up. Already, your mood was lifted after your short conversation with Mark, and you couldn't wait to see him in person again. You hope things will be the same as before and that you could win your friend back, but a part of you is scared that he resents you for ghosting him for so long. You want to apologize and explain everything to him.
After slipping on a warm hoodie and slipping out the door, you start walking towards the nostalgic convenience store. It wasn't too far of a walk and you had the route memorized, so you pull out your phone to scroll through your notifications. As you read up on emails, the screen turns gray and a name appears across the top. "Yeonjunnie" was calling you. Not sure what he wanted to talk to you about, you timidly answer his call.
"Y/N, hi. Are you busy right now?"
"I'm about to meet someone but I still have a few minutes left, what's up?"
"I just wanted to see you...we need to talk."
Yeonjun sounded so nervous, his voice wavering. Perhaps he felt bad that he had led you on, now that it was revealed that he was seeing someone else. You want to assure him that all is well, he hadn't done anything wrong. It was you who had made it clear multiple times that you were just friends, so he had nothing to worry about. Clearly, he has other things to focus on and you will continue focusing on yourself as well, starting with renewing your friendships.
"Talk about what? If you need to say something you can tell me now, over the phone." You question him.
"But I kind of wanted to talk to you in person..."
What could be so critical that it needed to be discussed face to face? You're confused as to why he keeps insisting on seeing you when you are nothing more than a casual fuck for him, especially when he has other options out there if he needed it.
"If it's so important, can't you talk about it with someone else?" You start to feel annoyed.
"Because it's important, I want to talk to you. Please? You're the only person I want to see right now."
Now you're getting pissed. How could he continue saying things to make you feel like you're special to him? Does he think he can sweet talk you into sticking around and being his side chick? You may be a bit naive when it comes to love, but you're not that dumb.
"Sorry, I can't right now." Approaching the 7/11 shop, you see Mark waiting by the glass doors. He spots you and gives you an enthusiastic wave. You smile and wave back as you walk towards him. "Why don't you hit up your girlfriend instead?"
Yeonjun pauses before asking. "Girlfriend? Are you talking about Karina?"
He finally said it. Was he actually going to admit it now? You're tired of beating around the bush with him. He doesn't need to hide this from you, he doesn't owe you an explanation, but you wish he would just be honest.
"Yes, Karina." You say with your jaw clenched.
"Y/N, it's not like that. I—"
"Y/N, hey! Come here!" Mark pulled you in for a bear hug, finally seeing you after so long. "How have you been girl?"
You giggle in his tight embrace that caught you by surprise. "I've been good, glad to see you again!"
"Who was that?" You hear Yeonjun’s muffled voice coming out of your phone still in your hand.
You quickly try to end the conversation now that you had reached your destination. "Sorry yeonjun, I have to go now."
"Was that a guy's voice?" He immediately questioned.
Why does he care? You think to yourself. Just like he doesn't owe you any explanations, you don't owe him any either.
"Yeonjun, I'll talk to you later. Good luck with whatever issue you're dealing with, I hope you figure it out." And you hang up the call.
Slipping your phone into your pocket, you move your attention to your friend who was already headed to the instant noodle aisle, picking out your favorites. Once you both prepped your bowls, you sit down at a lone table under a street light, warming your hands around the steam that came from the boiling water.
"So what's been going on in your life, crybaby? Still sobbing every time someone is mean to you?" Mark playfully punches your shoulder.
You roll your eyes and ruffle his hair. "You act like you don't cry every time we watch a ghibli movie."
"Hey, you'd cry too if your parents got turned into pigs." He splits his chopsticks and started digging in.
"Anyways, I wanted to apologize for ignoring you after the whole Jaehyun situation. I was a bad friend and you didn't deserve that." You shyly meet his eyes.
Mark smiles wide. "Aw, you don't have to apologize, I'm just happy I have my friend back! I missed you, ugly."
"I missed you too, dummy. I was just running away from my problems instead of confronting them like a woman." You huff.
"I don't blame you. Jaehyun was a mess for weeks after you left. I mean, it was his fault for fucking up, so I guess he broke his own heart."
"Wait, he was?" This was your first time hearing about how Jaehyun reacted to you ending things.
"Yeah, he kept trying to reach you but you had him blocked on everything. He even tried using my accounts but you blocked me too."
You scratch your head in embarrassment. "Oh yeah, sorry about that."
"It's all good. I know you were just trying to move on. But next time don't forget to bring your pals with you okay?"
"I won't, I promise this time!" You held out your pinky and Mark hooked his around it.
"Jaehyun was stupid for taking you for granted. He really liked you, you know?"
"Really?" Your curiosity was piqued.
"Yeah, I don't think he's ever felt that way about a girl before, so I guess he just didn't know how to act."
"I mean, not sleeping with Karina would've been a good start." You mutter.
Mark chuckles. "You're right, that was dumb of him. He wasn't even that into her, and isn't she dating that guy from TXT now?"
Your noodles slip from your chopsticks and splash into your bowl. Noticing your sudden tenseness, Mark curiously watches you.
"Funny thing about that actually..." You begin revealing all the drama that had occurred between you and Yeonjun in these past months. Mark listens intently to your story, nodding his head and letting you pour out all your frustrations to him. "...and now he wants to talk to me in person." You finish.
Mark appears deep in thought. He holds his chin in his hand, resting his elbow on the table. "Have you ever considered that maybe he feels the same way about you?"
"Dude, you're supposed to me my friend here, not set me up for heartbreak again." You complain.
"No, no, but listen. You had no idea Jaehyun had feelings for you back then, right?"
"And the both of you being oblivious to your mutual feelings led to mistakes and misunderstandings." Mark explains. "Everything you're telling me about Yeonjun makes it seem like he's hesitant to confess to you because of the same reasons you're hesitant to confess to him. You're both too scared of losing each other by taking a leap, but the more you guys try to avoid the topic, the more it's going to drive you apart."
"Mark, you're missing the point. Yeonjun doesn't feel that way about me and he's seeing other girls. It's in the news!"
"Oh yeah, and the news is always true isn't it?" Mark crossed his arms. "How many times have there been false rumors circulating about you? You can't trust shit that comes from media outlets."
You're annoyed that Mark isn't taking your side, but he did have a point.
"Why don't you just hear him out? If it turns out that he was playing you all along, and that painting with you, watching movies and all the quality time you spent together was just some sick ploy to get into your head, then I will personally beat the shit out of this guy."
You laugh at Mark's brazen statement. "Don't act tough, you couldn't even hurt a fly."
"Seriously though! I think you should give him a chance. From how you describe him, he seems like a sincere guy. And give yourself some more credit too, who wouldn't fall for your awesome personality? You're a great catch, Y/N."
You meekly grin at his words. It felt great to have such supportive friends. "Alright, maybe I'll take your advice. But if it backfires in my face, you owe me 100 shin ramen bowls."
"Deal, you got this! I bet that dude is so in love with you, he's probably dying to have you call him back already."
You both stand up and dispose of your trash before heading home. Mark gives you one last bear hug before you part ways. Thinking about your conversation, you decide to be brave and hear what Yeonjun had to say, even if it might break your heart. You unlock your phone and dial his number. The phone rings only once before he picks up.
"Hey uhm Yeonjun, I'm sorry for hanging up on you earlier. Do you still need to talk?"
"Y-yeah. Yes, I'd like to talk if you're free now. Are you sure I'm not...interrupting anything?"
"No, I finished my meeting already."
"Okay then, can I come over? Please?"
"Actually, I'm still outside. I'll come to you instead."
"Okay, yeah. I'll be here. See you soon."
You had agreed to meet him and hear what he has to say. This very well could be the last time you ever see him again, depending on how the conversation goes. As you approach Yeonjun’s dorm, a familiar knot grows in your stomach. You remember the time you journeyed to Jaehyun's dorm, ready to confess your feelings and unveil your heart, only to have it shattered before you. Will this time be any different, or are you stuck in an endless loop of disappointment and heart break? Oh god, what if Karina is there again? What if this was a meeting for Yeonjun to end things with you and prove to his girlfriend that you mean nothing to him? Was this a setup?
You almost turn in your tracks and head home but remind yourself that you don't want to be a coward any more. Inhaling deeply, you firmly knock on the door three times, holding your breath as you wait for it to open. To your relief, he greets you, and a quick scan of his apartment confirms that he is alone. As you carefully enter, he tries to kiss you but you automatically turn your head, his lips landing on your cheek instead. You didn't mean to, but you were reflexively avoiding him.
This reaction made him grimace, a twinge of pain hit his chest. He cautiously motioned you to his room, where you could have a private conversation. He takes a seat on his bed, leaving space for you next to him, but instead you sit down on a chair by his desk across from him. You both sat with your backs arched, each nervously monitoring the others' expressions. There were a few moments of tense stillness, before he finally spoke up.
"Thank you for coming to see me." He spoke with a gentle wariness.
"Of course, it seemed like you really needed to talk."
"I do. I have so much I need to tell you. You don't know how relived I am to see you now." He carefully looks up at you with doe eyes.
You return his gaze, giving him your full attention. "So, what do you need to say?"
"That article that came out today, it's not true. I've been spending all day handling the rumors with my manager. I don't know how it even happened because I've never spoken to Karina before. I'm going to release an official statement soon, but I just wanted to let you know first." He bites his lip as he awaits your response.
Hearing those words come out of his mouth undid the knot in your stomach. The tension leaves your body and you finally relax your shoulders. Everything you were worried about was false and the cycle was broken. He hadn't let you down like so many others did in the past. You're convinced that he never could, that he's just that perfect.
"Thank you for telling me this, you didn't have to." You shyly smile to yourself.
"I had to though, I couldn't let you think that there's any other girl in my life. Because there isn't, it's only you. It’s onto you who makes me feel..things.”
You blush at his admission. You didn't know where this was coming from but this conversation was a complete 180 from what you were anticipating it to be. The anxiety you felt was slowly being replaced with butterflies.
“What do I make you feel?" You whisper.
Yeonjun closes his eyes, leaning forward until his forehead touched yours. With a shallow breath, he replies. "Love."
You're frozen in place. Unable to move nor speak. You try to fathom what was happening but before you could fully understand, he speaks up again.
Lifting his head, he moves his hands to cradle your face, tilting it up so that your eyes are locked on his.
As soon as the words left his lips, you felt like your soul left your body. Your head was spinning at the realization of his confession, unable to process what it meant. Yeonjun loves you? This isn't something you thought could happen in a million years. You weren't prepared to react. He loves you, but do you love him? Certainly, you knew you were falling for him, and falling fast. You spent days dreaming about being with him, being his girlfriend and his only lover. He was the focal point of your fantasies, no matter how hard you tried not to picture him in that light. He was everything you were looking for, he was perfect.
He was too perfect. This was too perfect.
As always, whenever you come close to living out your desires, you mind sneakily sabotages the moment. This was too good to be true, it can't be true. Everything about this scenario was perfect...except for you. You don't fit into this scene. All this time, Yeonjun had cared for you, he showed you his affection through his actions and now through his words. He wasn't afraid to love you.
But you on the other hand, were ready to run away at the first hint of trouble. You were ready to abandon your relationship altogether once you caught ear of his potential scandal. You didn't even think to give him a chance to explain himself. You were too afraid. You were too afraid of getting hurt. You were too afraid to love him.
Still staring up at Yeonjun, your eyes start to sting. "I can't—we can't..." is all you could muster.
He looks at you worriedly, his grip on your cheeks tightening slightly. "Why can't we?"
Tears start rolling down your face. "I'm not ready jun. I'm not enough for you."
"Why would you say that? You're more than enough for me, Y/N." he frowns.
"I'm too insecure, Yeonjun. I almost ghosted you over rumors that weren't even true, and we aren't even together. How's it going to be once we really are? I'm just not ready for a relationship." You sniffle.
Yeonjun’s eyes start watering. "It's okay, Y/N. We'll work through it together. I'll do whatever it takes for you to trust me. I just can't pretend that I don't have feelings for you any longer, because I do. I care about you so fucking much."
"Please stop. I can't do this jun." Every word he said was making it harder for you to accept the fact that you couldn't be what he needed. You attempt to pull his hands away from you, but he wasn't budging. Instead, he brings his face closer to yours.
"Forget what I said. Let's just go back to normal, like we were before."
"How can we? You just said you—"
Yeonjun attacks your lips with a kiss. It was desperate, rushed, and laced with your tears. It was his plea for you to stay, his last attempt to convince you that everything was going to be alright. Or maybe he was trying to convince himself.
You pull away, staring back at him with tears in your eyes. His heart cracks, the fissure growing until he feels it completely shatter. He fucked up. He ruined everything. He shouldn't have confessed to you. His worst nightmare was coming true, he scared you away and now he's losing you. He feels like he's losing a part of him. The part that is comfortable enough to share his passions, the part that is filled with warmth and tenderness, the part that feels like home. If you leave, you would take this part of him with you, and he could never feel whole. "Please don't go." His voice quivers.
"I'm sorry jun." You slowly back away. It takes everything in you not to run back into his arms, to the place you know would wash away all the pain you felt right now. You couldn't do that though, it'd be like putting a bandaid over a bullet hole, pretending that it fixes everything when it doesn't. Doing so would be selfish, because you know you're still broken inside, and you couldn't bear to see him break himself just to pick up your pieces. "You deserve better, someone who isn't afraid to love you."
He just stares at you, speechless. His mouth is agape, his eyes begging you to stay. He's crumbling before you and you can't stand the sight.
As you gather yourself to leave, you look back at him one last time. "I'm sorry it's not me."
Part two will be posted soon <33 comment to get tagged in order to get notified when the next part drops!
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