[nagarebcshi]

genuinely so bird chested. Can’t do shit on your own unless you see someone else doing it first. So embarrassing. I don’t even know how I developed interest. I thought I liked you because you are kind “kind in a world that’s so focused on being nonchalant” but I was wrong. You’re much to prideful to even act on your kindness when it matters the most, you’re much too scared, much too immature. It makes me sad really, but ultimately it’s my fault. I knew this from the beginning and yet I overlooked it. We’re much too incompatible.

[nagarebcshi]

have to keep reminding myself that i genuinely did all i could and that I have every reason to want to prioritize myself at this point. I’m done with wishy washiness and all that crap, I’m not chasing after anyone that doesn’t care to be in my life. I don’t exist only when you remember to grace me with ur attention.

[starbuck]

i say i like tragedies and everyone’s all like ‘why do you like sad stories? are you depressed?’ and never ‘how was the catharsis? was the catharsis fun?’

[petaltexturedskies]

People aren't homes, they never will be. People are rivers, always changing, forever flowing. They will disappear with everything you put inside them.

Nikita Gill

[fairycosmos]

i feel INCREDIBLY stunted like! barely a person at all. it’s always a shock to talk to other people my age and see where they’re at. and i try repeatedly to build something and to break out of it but i am just perpetually behind

[uln]

I’m not a maybe. I’M THE ONE

[liveleaker-deactivated20250423]

they hate me because i live a second life in my dreams and wake up changed from the experience

[nagarebcshi]

keep ignoring me. let whatever this was, fade into obscurity and there will be a point I’ll look back at this and think of it as a fever dream. for now i sit with the grief, but please, keep reminding me why the choice to walk away is the most sound right now. trample all over any traces of hope I have left. it’s the biggest mercy you could give me right now.

[myfakeplasticlove13]

This has no theme I guess

or maybe it does

But it’s just that’s it’s november now and it’s cold and lonely without you and time doesn’t move like it’s supposed to and I don’t know what to do

[watermotif]

Everything passes

[nagarebcshi]

i have such a hard time convincing myself that my friends don’t secretly hate me or want me gone from their lives or that they are waiting for the day I finally give in to a harmful crash out so that they’ll finally have a reason to leave my sorry ass and block me from everywhere.

And i feel like they’d have every reason to. All I do is post abt all my insecurities. It must be so burdensome and hard to know me and have to constantly deal with my ups and downs - of course people would want to distance themselves. Sometimes I wonder if I do it on purpose? Is it a cry for help? I don’t know. And honestly I’m tired of overthinking things so much. Which is why I’d rather dump my thoughts on this account where barely anyone follows me. And maybe that’s an issue in itself… the fact that I don’t feel safe even posting abt personal thoughts where friends can see them. But maybe that’s ok too. Idk. I’m starting to realize not everyone needs access to me or my thoughts. It’s better this way and it keeps my anxiety at bay - as long as I can dump my shitty thoughts somewhere where they don’t hurt anyone.

[weltenwellen]

BEE LB, from "friction polish"

[heedra]

ppl are always saying that women are "allowed to cry" more than men are but I don't really think being expected to is the same as being "allowed" to without judgement, because generally the social judgement is still extremely present and imo not made much better by it being a "typical behavior from the likes of you" flavor of contempt

[closet-keys]

right, like the thing that keeps men from crying, especially around others, is the fear that others will regard him as “like a woman” for doing so. that’s not misandry, that’s misogyny (specifically transmisogyny)

[nagarebcshi]

once again im feeling so much bitterness. I don’t know I think I’m just not meant to be part of friend groups, everything is always so fucking triggering. And why would anyone want me around either when I’m constantly a vibrating wound.

I’m realizing this now. I genuinely can’t be casual or surface level about anything. I don’t know how not to feel so intense about everything all the time. It seems so easy for everyone else, to just act casual and cool and not make a big deal out of anything. No one gives a shit. It’s just me who is always fucking spiralling. I hate it so much. It feels so lonely. I struggle so much finding acceptance within community and friendships and it sucks because I constantly crave for something real and genuine. Yet it always feels like I come across people that aren’t ready for any of that, that would rather hide or run away from it - as long as things are kept cool and surface level.

I want to scream and yell and yet I don’t want to do or say anything I would regret later - not for anyone else’s sake, but rather for mine. I don’t want to have to repeat the same cycle in which I crash out around people, make a spectacle of myself and achieve nothing besides feeling further shame.

[akajustmerry]

not sure how to say this without it being misconstrued but I as a Lebanese person who's family has fought against Zionism, and as a bonafide movie enjoyer do not know how to discuss the increase in Hollywood films (The Brutalist, A Real Pain, September 5, Lee, Emilia Perez, etc) centering Israel and the Holocaust. I do not know how to discuss that these films will be used in one way or another (intentionally or not) to manufacture consent for the US Backed Zionist genocide of Palestinians in Palestine. I don't know how to voice criticism of how the influence of military funding in Hollywood shapes patterns in which films are made and awarded that ultimately align with foreign policy - WITHOUT that criticism being dismissed antisemitic, or conspiratorial. I'm not saying at all that these films aren't important stories, or are without artistic integrity because I don't think that. It's just......again, I do not know how to say this without it being misconstrued in bad faith. I was born in the mid-90s. I grew up on post 9/11 media. I know what US-made, Hollywood-produced soft propaganda looks like and it looks like a lot of film and television being greenlit and celebrated that also happens to align with and even justify the USA's imperialist foreign policy.

[rivjudephoenix]

Rare photos of River on the set of My Own Private Idaho

[cute-animals-only]