Muffled Sounds Of Gorilla Violence

Sup, I'm 26, I'm your local Pacific Rim Uprsing denier and I'm gonna marry Clint Barton [threat]

[kalichnikov]

i wanna talk about this shot

[kalichnikov]

if forum signatures still existed this would be mine

[un-javi]

[karvina]

[teslaswife]

[shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey]

God fucking damn it

[bored-dromaeosaur]

[the-color-orange-offical]

[eldest-daughter-syndrome]

[nealashitposts]

So I've got this friend whose nervous because she's trans and dating this guy who she hasn't told yet because they've only been on a two dates. For this story let's call the friend Jane and the guy she was dating Jason. Happy ending don't worry.

So I tell Jane to bring her boy over to a bbq I'm having and she can tell him she's trans at my place surrounded by queer and trans people who love her and will support her if he ends up being awful.

She waits till the end of the bbq to tell him the news, by which point the rest of us have learned that Jason is a kind, friendly, empathetic, hard working, dummy. So we sit down, all of us a little worried about this gym bro's reaction when she tells him she's trans, and that she understands if he doesn't want to keep dating her it's no big deal.

He's baffled, so we explain what trans is, and after the disclosure that she hasn't had bottom surgery yet...

"Oh you have a dick?"

"... yeah."

He look's around at the room full of people with baited breath, his clearly a little afraid girl friend says

"Oooohhhh! I get it! You think- don't worry Babe! Watch this!"

And ya'll this man jumps up, runs into the kitchen and returns with one of the bratwurst we had for grilling and proceeds to tilt his head back, put it down his throat, hold it in his mouth for a moment, and spit it up without even a whisper of a gag and then looks around at the group absolutely beaming with pride.

My mans saw his worried girlfriend and her support network and thought to him self "Oh they don't think I can't please my girl, but I'll show them!"

[nealashitposts]

I do feel the need to add that later he excitedly tell the group that as a straight guy, he never thought that skill would be useful outside hotdog eating contests.

[hyperrbolic-orange]

"Man its too bad that im straight since I've got like no gag reflex and all."

"Honey, I must tell you, i am in fact trans and I have not had bottom surgery."

"My god... everything's coming up Jason."

[dancinbutterfly]

Pure of heart dumb of ass hetero of sexual

[corruptimles]

theres no spider pet in the game so this is what i gave my annabelle mii

[memeuplift]

[mossspores]

life if comes fucks me

[segamascott]

[lakemojave]

After much introspection and soul searching I've turned over a new leaf and have decided to continue making poison swamps 😌

[feeshies]

One of my least favorite types of post on this site are when people are clearly trying to get added to that "needlessly profound quotes that originated on tumblr" list.

[feeshies]

"you fool. you stuff your burrito to bursting and weep as you hold a soggy tortilla, when the fillings are merely scattered among the foil."

200 reblogs with responses like "wait this goes so hard?????"

[turochamp]

dreamt that i went to a car dealership and Light Yagami and L were there and I saw L first so I went "woah are you L death note?" and L went "L what?" and light went " L WHAT."

[uglygirlstatus]

sorry I had to draw this

[marazra]

Avengers West Coast (1989) #94

Whatever Clint

[dogpuppy]

[othersystems]

Still thinking about the girl I heard on the subway loudly talking about how her favorite thing about nyc is that skyscrapers have to be as far down into the ground as they are tall and how thats beautiful. Then this guy was like uhh idt that’s true.. and she was like no it is.

[ketaminnie]

Shes right? Lmao

[trucksquared]

I don’t think building foundations go that deep

[ketaminnie]

??? Dude have you ever seen a building be bilt? Go outside lol

[trucksquared]

Source

I dunno man I seem to be in the right here

[ketaminnie]

Dude believe women..

[violet-periwinkle]

GUYS GUYS GUYS

THEY RELEASED THE COYOTE VS ACME TRAILER !!!!!

WE WON !!!

[chucktaylorupset]

sorry the looney tunes movie that got buried by a massive company for corporate purposes is about fighting back against a massive company trying to bury incidents for corporate purposes?

[twistedpictures1-deactivated202]

hey you should ask your doctor about MAOIs. my SSRIs weren’t working so we tried those (i’m on nardil) and it did wonders for my mental health. just saying as a suggestion because based on the fact that you put the fucking onceler on my dashboard in 2022 the meds you take right now don’t work

WHAT

[giltspark]

[partywithponies]

One of the most annoying genres of people on the internet are people who act like they believe science is one single monolithic thing. Like, you'll see an article saying something like "scientists studying the movement of tectonic plates", and then in the comments there'll be several smug people saying "smh why are scientists doing this instead of finding a cure for cancer", like. Why would a geologist be doing that.

[willabee]

uncertain about eels

[gingik]

[lainpsx]

[earhartsease]

[pavlover-boy]

[mortimermcmirestinks]